CHAPTER 31

A/N: Thanks to Olivia, Lana66, Buffycl, Lina Jacob2 and Berrylucky5 for their reviews! In this chapter, I alternate between Brittany and Santana POV (as always, it's indicated when it changes). A few things happen in L.A. before they go to Lima.


ON THE NEXT MORNING – AT HOME – BRITTANY POV

I wake up once again with my head on Santana's chest and my arm around her waist. How does this keep happening?! It's like my body has a mind of its own… But while part of me is still uncomfortable, I also understand why I unconsciously search for her in my sleep. Her warm body is very comfy and the sound of her heartbeat is soothing, almost familiar…

I stay put for a few minutes, trying to get used to this new intimacy. But after a while, I carefully go back to my side of the bed, I would be too embarrassed if she woke up finding me all over her like this.

I keep watching her sleep for a while until I see her frowning, I guess she's waking up…

"God…" She whispers, massaging her forehead.

"Headache…?" I ask.

She turns to me with a surprised look on her face, as if she forgot that I was in bed with her.

"Yeah… I should have known better…" She replies. "Even for me, that was too much alcohol… How did you sleep?"

"Pretty well! Except that you snored…"

"What? I do not snore!" She says, offended.

"Well, you definitely snored this time…" I chuckle. "But don't worry, it was actually cute…"

"Yeah well, you dance in your sleep!" She replies, in an attempt to… I'm not sure, level the score maybe?

"I dance? Is that even true?"

"Yes, it is!" She replies. "I don't know if you did it last night but it happens every now and then, and you end up kicking me while trying to do... I don't know what kind of crazy dance move! And your daughter also kicks me in her sleep by the way, that's definitely something she has picked up from you!"

I can't help but laugh, picturing the scene.

"What's so funny?" She asks, even more offended.

"I don't know… It's just the way you said it! But don't be mad, at least now I know one more thing about myself: I dance in my sleep." I smile. "And I know one more thing about you: you snore!" I tease.

"Pff this amnesia of yours doesn't even work in my favour!" She complains. "I was hoping you would never find out about my flaws – which are very few because obviously, I'm perfect!" She says, with a proud look.

"Obviously!" I confirm, playing along. "But I noticed some of your flaws a while ago actually."

"Like what?"

"Like how cranky you are in the morning before getting your coffee or how you steal Sofia's candy behind her back. And how you actually believe that no one will notice! But I know and she does too by the way!"

"It's bad for her teeth so I'm doing her a favour really!" She argues.

"Right, I'm sure your motivation is her well-being!" I say sarcastically.

"Exactly! Can you imagine that I'm sacrificing my own teeth and my perfect figure for that little sucker? That's just the kind of mother I am: my child's health comes first!" She says, placing her hand on her chest.

"Sure, sure." I say, trying hard to refrain my laugh. "Then why do you even buy her candy? Why don't you just buy it for yourself instead?"

"Because it tastes better when you steal it from someone else!" She replies in a matter-of-fact way.

"But spill the beans, Pierce…." She adds. "What else have you noticed about me?"

"Well, sadly, that's the only flaws I have seen so far, in addition to the snoring. The rest is more working in your favour I guess."

"Ooh, interesting! Like what?"

"Like… what a great mom you are... And how patient you have been with me…" I say. "And considering that mug you drink your coffee in every morning, the one that says 'world's greatest wife' – which I hope is a thoughtful gift from me - you must be a great wife…"

"It is indeed a gift from you…" She replies, with a smile. "And actually, there is also another inscription at the bottom of that mug."

"Oh really, which one?"

"World's sexiest wife!" She replies with a proud wink.

"You're making this up!"

"No! Check it out yourself, you will see!"

"What?" She asks. "You're the one that offered me that mug! It's not my fault if you think I'm the sexiest!"

"About that…" I say. "Is it true that… you and I… had sex at Sofia's birthday party?"

"You remember?" She asks, suddenly hopeful.

"No… I'm sorry, I… I don't… But then it's true?" I ask, still surprised. I really thought that Quinn misread Santana's 'dorky face' but clearly, she didn't…

"Well… yeah, it is…" She shyly says. "But if you don't remember it, how would you know about that?"

"Quinn said that we disappeared for quite a while…"

"God, Fabray and her freaky perceptive skills! I'm so going to kill her…"

"But… do you often initiate sex while we have family over?" I tease.

"What makes you think I initiated it?" She laughs. "I hate to break it to you but it was all you, Britt! You practically begged me! Ever since you got pregnant, you… well, let's just say that your libido has increased!"

"But why on earth would you go along with it when there are so many people at our place?!" I ask.

"What was I supposed to do? Turn you down?"

"I… Well, at least you could have told me to wait until everyone was either gone or sleeping, don't you think?"

"Right!" She laughs again. "I will let that slide since you don't remember how insisting you can be!"

"What does that mean?" I ask.

"You want an example? How about you showing up at Paramount and basically undressing me in my office?"

"What?!" That can't be, surely she must be joking!

"Yeah, you're not so innocent, you know!" She adds. "I tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it!"

"It doesn't sound like you tried very hard…" I comment.

"Hey! I'm a very thoughtful woman…" She replies to defend herself. "If my pregnant wife wants sex, who am I to say no?"

"Right... I bet you have been really enjoying my pregnancy…"

"Oh I definitely have…" She confirms with a proud smirk while I roll my eyes.

We look at each other in silence for a little while before I finally dare to ask her a question that I have had in mind for long… "How is it… the sex between us? Is it good…?"

"Better than good… best sex of my life!" She shrugs in admission.

"Ha!" I say, wiggling my eyebrows at her. "How about that!"


ON THE NEXT DAY – AT PARAMOUNT

Trying my best not to be a "pathetic couch potato" – as Naya called it – I asked Santana if I could go to Paramount with her today and she agreed. Even though Quinn has just given me the grand tour of the place, nothing looks familiar. It's still pretty interesting though, especially since it's a show I'm currently watching and is about our real lives…

Once we're back on set, Quinn makes me sit right next to her while Santana gives her last instructions to Naya and Heather.

"I thought that Artie was the director…?" I whisper to Quinn.

"He is, except for Brittana scenes…" She replies. "When it's about your relationship, San handles everything on her own. She writes the scenes herself, she decides what outfits and makeup Naya and Heather should wear, and she directs. To be honest with you, at some point, I thought she would even take over from the cameramen and the sound guys…" She laughs.

I smile back and keep watching Santana work. She seems so focused and driven, with the script in one hand and a pen in the other, gesturing in a passionate way. You can definitely tell that she's the big boss around here because everyone is religiously listening to her.

Once they start acting, I can't help but admit that Naya is amazing! The intonations in her voice, her facial expressions, even the way she moves… it's very easy to recognize Santana.

The actresses eventually kiss each other in that scene and I suddenly get very intimidated. They have great chemistry and everything but it only reminds me that… I don't even know how it feels to kiss my wife…

"CUT!" Santana suddenly shouts and the actresses break the kiss.

"That was pretty good but I need another take of this kiss, ladies! It has to be more romantic, like you're… addicted to kissing one another. I know that back then, I had not yet come out but Brittany and I already knew that what we had was serious. You have to look at the context: you're at home, no one is in sight, you are in your own little love bubble and free to express what you feel for each other… So give me a nice, loving kiss. Give the world 'Brittana', OK?" She adds and both actresses nod.

"Take 2… ACTION!" San says and they kiss again. It's definitely more romantic… It looks passionate but tender, and I even get a little envious. I can't help but wonder if this is how Santana and I kiss in real life…

SANTANA POV

This time, I think that Naya and Heather got it and I smirk because I can't stop picturing the faces of the network guys. They're going to have a heart attack when they see my edit but… they agreed to lesbian romance after all, and that's exactly what I'm going to give them!

"CUT!" I say once I think we have what we need. But much to my surprise, Naya and Heather keep kissing… I throw a questioning look at Quinn, who shrugs in confusion.

"Huh… CUT!" I shout again, louder this time, which makes them finally break the kiss.

What the fuck was that…?


LATER – AT PARAMOUNT

"Did you have fun?" I ask Britt.

"Yes, definitely! It was exciting to see how it's done! But it's also pretty surreal to see actresses reenact moments of our lives that I can't even remember…"

"I know… Even if I have my memories, I feel the same! Especially with Rivera that looks exactly like I was at 17 years old… And as you could see yourself, she LOVES to imitate me… I swear, every week, she picks up something new from me! I'm wondering where she's going to stop!" I say and she laughs until I hear her whine in pain.

"Are you OK?" I ask, worried. "Is something wrong?"

"I'm fine… It's just that the twins are kicking and they're really getting stronger! And clearly, they are very receptive to your voice because every time you speak to me, it seems that they get over-excited! It's like 'Mama is in da house, let's party'!" She laughs.

I smile, not only because the twins still kick when I'm around but because Britt used the word "mama" to refer to me. I don't know if I can take it for granted, but hopefully that means that she's actually considering raising them with me…

"OK, they are definitely in a party mood right now!" She adds before grabbing my hand to place it on her belly. "Can you feel that?"

I nod and smile big. It's the first time she lets me touch her belly since the accident and I have really missed this connection with the babies. She's right, their kicks are definitely stronger, another reminder that they will be here soon…


A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER – AT HOME

Since we won't shoot Glee for an entire week, it's the perfect timing for us to go to Lima, especially because that's probably the last time Britt can travel before the twins' birth. I am really looking forward to go home… The last 3 weeks have been very painful and I need a break from L.A. There is no point in staying here anyway: Britt has seen everything there was to see and has met all the people we know and she still doesn't remember anything…

I don't know if Lima will help, because we are both aware that her memories might actually never come back… But it's worth the shot. At least, she will see where she comes from and we will be surrounded by our family, which is a huge relief for me because I can't keep doing this on my own… It's just too much to handle.

I also contacted Mr Schue because I wanted Britt to meet him and he has suggested to organize a Glee reunion during our stay. He thinks that recreating the atmosphere of our Glee years and redoing numbers that were particularly meaningful to Brittany could help. Why not… At this point, I'm ready to try anything…

"So usually when we go to Lima, we both stay at my parents' because they have an extra room for Sofia…" I tell Britt. "But if you prefer to have your privacy, you can stay at your parents'…" I add.

Brittany has only slept in our bed the night I was drunk… After that, she went back to the guest room, much to my sadness…

"Can't I stay at your parents' too?" She asks, with a concerned look.

"Of course you can, Britt but… you would have to share a bed with me because since Sofia sleeps in the guest room, there is no other possibility and I…"

"It's fine…" She cuts me off. "I'm OK with that…"

"Are you sure? We'll stay in Lima for over a week…"

"Yeah, I'm sure… I… I know I'm sending you mixed signals, it's just… difficult to find my place I guess. But since the accident, you're the only thing that actually feels like home to me so… I would rather be where you are." She adds, timidly.

"OK…" I nod with a small smile.


ON THE NEXT EVENING – LIMA – AT SANTANA'S PARENTS'

"But your babies will be here in less than three months!" Abuela tells us during dinner. "What are you going to do, whistle 'here boy'? They need a name!"

"But Abuela… 'Rufino' ?! You can't possibly be serious!" I add, raising my hands. I really want her to stop bringing up baby names – especially ugly ones - not just because it pisses me off but mainly because I can tell that Brittany is getting increasingly uncomfortable. She's not ready for this kind of talk! 'Stop scaring my wife away!' I try to silently tell Abuela with my eyes. Hopefully her psychic Mexican third eye is going to get the fucking hint?

But that's just wishful thinking.

"If you don't like Rufino, what about Lisandro?" She asks. "Lisandro Lopez-Pierce!" She proudly adds as if she was announcing a slogan. "Don't you love how that sounds?"

Is she for real? Who would love that, it sounds completely ridiculous! And besides… who knows if those babies will even have my surname...

"It means liberator!" She enthusiastically tells Brittany, with the hope to convince her.

Someone liberate me from this torture…

I suddenly feel Brittany's hand grabbing mine under the table and as soon as my eyes meet hers, I know that I have to intervene before she surrenders to her panic. I give her hand a reassuring squeeze and turn to Abuela. "Can we please talk about something else, Abuela? We had a long trip, now is not the time to discuss baby names."

"Ok fine… But I will write you a list." She says, pointing at us.


LATER THAT EVENINGAT SANTANA'S PARENTS' – BRITTANY POV

"So… did I use to come here a lot?" I ask Santana, while looking around her old room.

"In my room? Yes, quite a lot…" She confirms. "We became best friends very shortly after we met and we basically always hung out together after school… Sometimes we would stay out but most of the time, we would come back to my house or yours, to do our homework and stuff..."

"What stuff?"

"You know… talk or watch a movie together… or…" She trails off.

"Or…?" I ask.

"Well, there was also huh… a lot of making out involved…"

It's actually not that surprising but of course, I have no memories from that time… One more thing that I can't remember…

"How did it start…? You and me…?" I ask, curious.

"I told you… we officially got together in our senior year of high school." She replies.

"Yes, but how did we… I guess my question is how did we even end up kissing each other the very first time?"

"Oh…" She replies. "Well… actually, our very first kiss was in this room… We were 14 and… it happened quite randomly I guess… We were talking about some of the boys from school and you asked me if I had ever kissed one but I had not… And then… I asked you if you had, and you said no… So we kept discussing about it, imagining how it would be like, and… at some point, I kind of suggested to kiss each other, you know… to find out what the fuss was all about and be "ready" for whenever we would eventually kiss boys…"

"I see…" I say.

"So you totally went after me!" I suddenly add in a proud tone.

"I… I was just curious about kissing, that's only natural at that age! It was like a scientific experiment or something!" She protests. "And it's not like I had to insist to get you on board by the way!"

"Sure…" I say in a sarcastic tone, to tease her. "How was the kiss though? Was it nice?"

"Actually yes…" She admits. "It was surprisingly good, considering that we didn't even know what we were doing… But you know, we… perfected it over time…"

"Ah, really!" I comment. "You couldn't stay away from me, admit it!"

"And you think you could stay away from me?" She replies, with a smirk that I immediately return.

"So… Are you saying that it happened every time we hung out?" I ask.

"Pretty much, yes!" She confirms. "At some point, we both got boyfriends but we still kept kissing each other when it was just the two of us… I had a TV in my room back then so after doing our homework, we would usually lay together on my bed and 'watch' a movie, but that would turn pretty quickly into cuddling and then one of us would eventually initiate our sweet lady kisses… I actually don't remember the plot of any of those movies we watched, I was waayyy too distracted!" She laughs.

"It's really cute when you think about it… We were each other's very first kiss and we ended up married, with kids…" I comment.

"I know…" She smiles. "I'm pretty proud of that…"

Even though this is probably one of the best anecdotes of us that I have heard so far, it makes me sad. It sounds like our relationship is one of those insanely cute love stories and I can't remember any of it…

"But when did… the sex start exactly?" I ask, getting more and more curious.

But before she can answer, we suddenly hear Sofia crying from the other room.

"I'll go check on her…" She replies. "She always cries the first night we are in Lima, I guess it's confusing for her…"


ON THE NEXT AFTERNOON – AT McKINLEY

"So I understand that you have just met Sue and Will?" Ms Pillsbury asks me.

"Huh yeah…" I confirm.

Today is a weird day for me… We went to my parents' this morning and even though I was originally supposed to spend some time alone with them, I begged Santana to stay with us because I never know what to tell them and she makes it less awkward. They kept showing me old photos and videos from my childhood but that didn't trigger anything - except my worry because I apparently used to spend most of my time with a deranged fat cat.

Then San brought me to McKinley and she was all excited to show me the locker room because that's where we made "eye contact for the very first time". I could tell that she really hoped I would remember that but I didn't.

She introduced me to Sue who implied several times that I was dumb - which I didn't like at all but it seems that Santana got even more angry about it than me. She told Sue not to speak to me like this and our former coach argued that it was "simply a shock therapy technique to bring back my memories"… But that didn't work either. Even meeting Mr Schue didn't change anything, I was just surprised to see how Santana is around him, it's like he's a father figure to her or something. I wonder if I normally see him like that too?

And now, it is also strange to be in Emma's office. I'm not really sure what I'm doing here but Santana really insisted for me to talk to her. She even encouraged me to open up with her about whatever feelings I had, including any feelings I could have about our marriage.

"I know that everything must be really confusing for you since the accident…" Emma says. "And I know that I'm a stranger to you but I have known you for a long time, Brittany. And I want to help you in any way I can…"

"Thanks…" I say. She genuinely looks like a nice person but I'm not really sure what to tell her.

"So how are things between you and Santana?" She asks.

Wow OK so we go straight into the serious stuff…

"I don't know…" I shrug. "I'm… conflicted when it comes to Santana." I reply.

"How so?"

"It's hard to explain… On one hand, she's also a stranger… But that definition doesn't even apply to her the same way as it does others, because… she's a stranger I happen to live with, be married to and have kids with…" I add, almost laughing at the irony of the situation.

"And on the other hand, despite the fact that I don't really know her, she's the one I trust the most and feel the most comfortable with. I even feel completely dependent on her… I don't even manage to talk to my own parents unless she's there! But… I… I don't know if I'm ready to be someone's wife… " I admit for the first time. "The idea of intimacy scares the hell out of me… Every time we get even a little bit closer, I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack. But… I don't know, maybe I just make it bigger in my mind than it really is, because… for example, I was terrified to sleep by her side but it's actually not that bad…"

"This is a very unusual situation, Brittany…" Emma comments. "And your feelings are completely understandable. You basically had to restart your whole life from scratch! And no one builds a marriage or a family in just a few weeks…" She says, giving me a comforting smile while resting her hand on top of mine.

"I know it's easier said than done, but do not put pressure on yourself." She adds. "Allow yourself to… live in the moment, without expectations... Don't try to be exactly what you were in the past and do not project yourself in the future either, just focus on the present. If you are not ready to be Santana's wife right now, that's OK…" She nods. "Go step by step…"

"But to be honest, I don't even know what the steps are… I don't know how to move forward." I sadly comment.

"Maybe you can start by being her friend." She replies. "You two have always been very close, that's why it makes sense to me that even if you're amnesiac, she's still the person you feel the most comfortable with."

"I... I think we are already friends…" I shrug. "I just don't know how to be more than that…"

"Just take things as they come, do not force them if you're not ready but do not build a wall around you either, because Santana truly cares about you. I'm sure that her top concern is for you to be comfortable! And since you already consider her as a friend, you could perhaps go on a date with her and see where that takes you…?" She suggests.


LATER THAT DAY – AT SANTANA'S PARENTS' – SANTANA POV

I drove Sofia to Abuela's earlier and of course she insisted to give me a list of baby names! I don't even know why I had a look at it but after reading the first three names – Navarro, Bartolomeo, Hipolito – I threw it away… She's CRAZY!

On my way back, I picked up Brittany at McKinley and we got back home a little while ago.

She's now resting on my bed, reading a magazine, while I'm checking my emails.

"When is the Glee reunion exactly?" She suddenly asks me.

"This weekend…" I reply.

"Is this going to be some kind of intervention for me… ?" She asks in a worried tone.

"No, Britt, you don't have to worry! It's not an intervention, we are not going to corner you… It's just Mr Schue's way to help you. He wants to show you what the Glee family is all about… And honestly, I think it will be good for you because we usually have a lot of fun at those reunions! And it's an opportunity to get to know them all better… especially those who don't live in L.A… People really bound over music you know… How else would have I ever become friends with Berry…? Trust me, you'll have a great time!" I add, with a convincing smile.

"Ok…" She says, in a more reassured tone.

She goes back to her magazine and I return to my emails as well. But after a few minutes, she breaks the silence.

"So, where can you take a girl on a date around here?" She asks.

"What?" I say, completely confused. Did she say "date"?

"I… I was thinking that since Sofia is at your Abuela's for the night, maybe you and I could… go on a date? I mean… we're married, it's kind of weird for me that I have never been on a date with you before…"

I really did not expect that, but I'm definitely not going to miss out on this opportunity!

"Yeah, of course… We can go on a date…" I reply. "There is not much to do here, but we could go to Breadstix? You used to love that place, and the food is amazing! And it's actually where we used to spend most of our dates so…"

"Ok, great!" She replies with a smile.

"Are you sure you can handle it?" I tease. "Because I definitely bring my A-game when I'm on a date… I try to woo the girl and all…"

"Really... Well, bring it on, Lopez!" She challenges me.

"Oh, it's so on!" I smirk.

"I can't wait to see that…" She comments. "But San… we need to agree on one important rule, though…"

"Ok… What rule…?"

"Even if the date goes well, you can't kiss me… because honestly, I'm not ready for that…" she whispers, looking uncomfortable.

"OK, Britt… I won't…" I reply, knowing that she needs us to go slow. "In fact, why don't we agree that if there ever has to be a kiss, you will kiss me?" I add, trying to put her at ease.

"Yeah, OK…" She nods in agreement.


LATER THAT NIGHT – AT SANTANA'S PARENTS' – BRITTANY POV

Santana insisted for us to get ready separately so that we can surprise each other when it is time to go out. It's actually fun to dress up and fortunately I bought a new dress before we came here because my belly keeps growing, and fast…

I have barely finished getting ready when I suddenly hear her knock on my door.

"Hi!" She says enthusiastically with a smile as soon as I open the door. I take in her appearance and I can only swallow hard. I shouldn't have challenged her to bring her A-game because she definitely has!

Of course, I had already noticed that she was a beautiful woman, I'm not blind… But tonight, she's… breathtaking! Her dress is not only elegant but also sexy, her hair is beautifully done and her makeup makes her look... radiant!

"Hi…" I finally manage to say.

"You look absolutely beautiful, Britt…" She comments and I can read the desire in her eyes. I wonder if I have the same look on my face right now because I definitely like what I see in front of me…

"Right back at you…" I reply in a shy tone, making her smile.

"Shall we?" She asks.


LATER – AT BREADSTIX

"What…?" I chuckle, noticing that Santana is staring at me across the table.

"Nothing… I'm just looking at my beautiful wife…" She replies, obviously flirting with me.

I'm not used to see her looking at me like this, I'm pretty sure that I'm blushing right now.

"Stop it…" I whisper, getting embarrassed by this sudden attention.

"I'm sorry…" She says. "Would you rather have me looking at another woman?" She teases.

"No!" I immediately reply, suddenly realizing that that would actually make me jealous. Of course, my strong reaction is not lost on her and I see her smirk.

"So how was the food?" She asks.

"It was delicious! No wonder that we used to come here so often…"

"Right? Besides our family and Mr Schue, Breastix is the only thing I miss from Lima." She confesses.

"I definitely understand why! I'm a bit ashamed for asking another portion but it was just too good…"

"Well, you're eating for three… No need to be ashamed." She smiles.

"That's true! I should use that excuse more often!"

She suddenly takes my hand in hers and gently rubs her thumb on the back of it. Our eyes are locked and I feel incredibly intimidated. She just looks so confident and has those… seductive eyes, it's really hot… So hot in fact that it reminds me of a question she never answered.

"So… you still haven't told me how we ended up… doing it the very first time." I whisper. I'm not sure why I even whisper because there are not many people tonight and Santana picked a table that is really far from any other customers.

She smiles and I wonder if it's at my question or at the memory of our first time. Maybe both…

"Well, just like for our first kiss, it was not planned and it kind of happened randomly." She replies. "We went to my house after school and that day, my parents had a charity dinner at my dad's workplace so it was just the two of us… And after doing our homework, we… engaged in some serious making out, probably because we knew that there was no risk of being caught…"

"So… hands started to wander on each other's body, and under our clothes… And I don't know, I just really didn't want to stop. And neither did you I think, because you were pretty into it! We kept going but... our clothes were in the way… So we progressively got rid of them, and eventually got… fully naked…" She adds.

"And at that moment I must admit that I really wanted to go all the way with you… So I asked you if you wanted to and… you did!" She says.

"So once again, you're the one that went after me!" I add, laughing.

"It was mutual! Believe me, it was pretty clear that you wanted a piece of this!" She says, pointing her hands to her body.

"I actually believe it…" I reply while scanning her body.

"Eyes up here, Pierce!" She suddenly says. "Did you forget your rule?"

"The rule was about kissing, no one said I could not look!" I argue.

"Yes but if you keep looking at me like this, I'm going to be obsessed with kissing you! So stop torturing me, will you?"

The thought of kissing her has actually crossed my mind too. There is something about her tonight that makes me unable to look away and those lips of hers look so… kissable, I keep wondering how it would feel to kiss them… But I don't know if I'm ready for finding out, it's pretty intimate.

"How old were we?" I ask her.

"15."

"15! Wow we started early…" I comment, although I'm not completely sure if I actually started my sex life with Santana. "Wait, you were my first, right?" I ask for confirmation.

"Yes, I was." She replies with a proud look.

"And I was yours?" I ask but when she looks away and doesn't reply, I instantly feel a sting in my heart.

"Oh…" I whisper, disappointed.

"I was just playing you!" She suddenly laughs. "Of course, you were my first too, Brittany!"

"You're mean!" I comment, shocked. But that makes her laugh even more.

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to see how you would react and you were definitely jealous just now!" She smiles. "But the truth is that you were my first everything, Britt!" She adds. "First kiss, first sexual experience and my first – and actually only – love…"

After what she just said, I realize that maybe I don't have to fear intimacy with Santana because it sounds like she has let her walls down with me her whole life. And she has actually offered me everything she had to offer… even a daughter. Now I understand even more how devastating it must have been for her when I told her that I didn't love her and that I couldn't remember our history.

"So… how was it…?" I ask timidly.

"Well… let's just say that you were also the very first – and only one – to give me sexual fulfillment… And believe me, I had um… 'flown solo' before that but that was absolutely not comparable…" She smiles, and I suddenly feel more proud than I could ever describe.


LATER – AT SANTANA'S PARENTS'

Ms Pillsbury was completely right… I should live in the moment without overthinking because I really had a great time with Santana tonight. And I think she did too.

As we get into bed, the thought of kissing her crosses my mind again but I realize that I'm really not ready. I do feel the need to be closer to her though… so without saying a word, I move closer to her and rest my head on her chest. I keep waking up in that position in the morning anyway, so I might as well fall asleep like that. "Night, San…" I whisper.

"Night, Britt-Britt." She replies, gently hugging me.


ON THE NEXT AFTERNOON – AT SANTANA'S PARENTS' – SANTANA POV

"So it's tomorrow that you visit your dance teacher, right?" I ask Britt.

"Yeah…" She replies. "Would you go with me? I'm really nervous about meeting her…"

"Of course! And we should even take Sofia with us because you usually bring her when you see Ms Cooper." I reply. "But why do you feel nervous?" I ask.

"I don't know… Everyone always says what a great dancer I am and now… I don't even know if I am able to dance! And since she's the one who taught me, I'm kind of embarrassed…"

I understand how she feels but considering her recent reaction at her dance school, the fact that she has even agreed to meet Ms Cooper is already a victory! And I really hope that Britt eventually finds a way to reconnect with dancing…

"You don't have to be nervous, Brittany… Ms Cooper is very nice and she loves you! You're like a daughter to her! I think she will just be happy to see you. Besides, she has not even seen you pregnant yet! So I'm pretty sure that you will mainly talk about Sofia and the twins!"

"And you are most likely still able to dance…" I add. "Even in the case you would have forgotten the moves, you could learn again. You are a natural when it comes to dancing, I'm sure it would easily come back to you!"

"I don't know…" She replies. "If being a dancer is such a big part of who I am, like you said… what happens if I suddenly suck at it? Or if don't like it anymore?"

I can see the worry all over her face but instead of giving her a pep talk, I decide to use another strategy. "Dance with me…" I plead, holding out my hand to her.

"We already went over this, San… I… I would rather not…"

"I'm not asking you to do an elaborated choreography, Britt… Let's just slow dance together…" I say, playing a slow song on my phone but she still looks hesitant. "Come on, you don't have to be a professional to slow dance. Even Finn was capable of doing this, that says a lot!"

She chuckles at my comment but doesn't move.

"There is no one but me Britt…" I add. "Please?"

"OK…" She sighs before clasping my hand in hers. Of course, we have to adapt our position because her pregnant belly is in the way but I can't help but smile as she finally dances with me. Even though the song ends too soon, we keep dancing together, looking into each other's eyes.

"See? It's pretty nice, isn't it?" I ask.

She doesn't reply and suddenly lets go of my hand. Before I can ask her what's wrong, I feel her hands cupping my cheeks and her lips gently pressing on mine. It's soft but quick, and I instantly miss her when she pulls away… I am left with her eyes scanning mine, probably searching for my approval. To show her that I want this too, I give her a tender kiss that I keep short, because I don't know if she's ready for more.

We look at each other in silence for a little while longer until she pulls me in yet another kiss, except that this time, she doesn't break it. It's really good to feel her again but I can tell that she's unusually uncertain, she's exploring… and it reminds me that for her, it's actually our very first kiss…

But I have an advantage here because I know exactly how she likes to be kissed. It's my chance to make an impression on her and make her craving for more. So I take the lead and even though I make sure to keep it gentle and loving, I progressively deepen the kiss until I eventually hear her humming against my lips. I've really missed this so bad that I can't stop…

I'm not sure how long we kiss but it must be several minutes until she pulls away, leaving us both out of breath.

"Wow…" She comments, as if she couldn't believe it. "That was…" She pauses. "Is it always this good?" She asks.

"Yeah…" I confirm in a shy whisper.

"Wow…" She repeats. "If that's how we kiss... the sex must be out of this world..."


A/N: What did you think? Brittany's amnesia was an opportunity to explore the girls' past so I hope you enjoyed it! The next chapter will still take place in Lima. Thanks in advance for your reviews!