CHAPTER 38
A/N: Thanks to Olivia, May1217, Buffycl, BrittanaAus, pjay413, JerzyMare, Berrylucky5 and the Guests for their reviews, as well as to those who gave me feedback on social networks. We pick up right where we left off: Santana went home to tell Brittany about her encounter with James. This chapter covers only a few days, and alternates POV – including a very unusual POV at the end, so watch out!
LATER THAT NIGHT – AT HOME – BRITTANY POV
"San… Please, you need to calm down…" I plead while she's frantically going through the drawers of our desk, like a robber looking for jewelry. "You know that James is a liar! Don't you remember what happened when I had amnesia? The guy told me you had cheated on me!" I argue. "You can't trust him! He might not even be a donor, or Hispanic for that matter. All he wants is to get in your head and create trouble!"
"Where the fuck is it!" She says in frustration and I know that she's not even hearing me right now.
"San!" I say louder to get her attention. "What are you even looking for anyway?"
"The damn fertility clinic folder!" She replies, agitated. "Where is it, dammit!"
"It's over there…" I say, pointing at our bookcase. "In the box, on the bottom shelf…"
Without a word, she runs towards the bookcase as if her life depended on it. I know she can't be stopped when she's like that so I just stand there, watching her going through the papers until she finally pulls a document out of the folder.
"What is that?" I ask.
"Our donor's profile!" She replies. "Look at this, Brittany! It's not just the ethnicity or the profession! He matches the full description! The hair color, the height… even the age!"
"It doesn't mean that it's James, honey… It could be anyone…"
"But there was only one Hispanic dancer, Britt…" She says, shaking her head in despair. "And I am the one who suggested to pick him… because it was the only artist on that list…"
"It's all my fault…" She adds in a cracked voice.
She looks so devastated that I immediately engulf her in a loving hug. "It's not anyone's fault, honey… We picked an anonymous donor, there was no way to predict that it could be James… And like I said, it might not even be him!" I add in my most reassuring voice. "You can't let this get to you, San… Because it doesn't matter who the donor is… You and I are raising the boys, together."
"But he might have passed on his evil DNA to the twins, Brittany!" She replies in an upset tone, pulling away from our hug. "How aren't you bothered by this?!"
"I… I don't want him to be our donor either, San, believe me! But… it's not like we can go back in time and pick someone else… Obsessing about this is not going to change anything…" I shrug. "Fate… or the universe or whatever you want to call it brought us Diego and Gabriel. They are our sons! And if James really is the donor, then what…?" I ask. "You will stop loving your boys?"
"Of course not! But... I... I just..." She trails off.
"He's a bad man, Brittany…" She says, shaking her head. "I already didn't want him anywhere near my kids! And now… our babies might be half him…" She adds with a sad voice.
MUCH LATER THAT NIGHT
I wake up in the middle of the night, to an empty bed. It's 3:30 AM but Santana must have been up for a while because the sheets on her side are cold.
As I get up and go out of our room to find her, I notice that Gabriel's door is slightly open. Without making any noise, I get close enough to catch a glimpse of Santana sitting by Gabriel's crib… He's peacefully asleep and she's silently watching him but I eventually notice that she's also crying.
I am about to go in there to hug her but I stop myself at the very last moment. If I learned anything from the past, it's that it's better to leave her alone for a while when she's this upset… She already turned me down earlier tonight when I suggested to talk about this whole thing so even though it breaks my heart, I go back to our bedroom alone… Hopefully, she will be ready to talk tomorrow…
EVEN LATER THAT NIGHT
I'm trying really hard to fall back asleep but I can't so… I'm just laying there, watching the minutes go by on my alarm clock, wondering when Santana will finally come to bed…
It's 4:27 AM when she gets back into our room. Since I'm facing the window, she can't see that I'm still awake. I don't dare to move but I'm secretly hoping that she will spoon me like she always does when she comes to bed after me. But unfortunately, she stays on her side and I can't help but feel sad.
ON THE NEXT MORNING
When I wake up, I'm very surprised to see that I'm again all alone in bed… Santana is usually so reluctant to get up in the morning that I practically have to drag her out of bed! But as I glance at the alarm clock, I can't believe my eyes. How can it be so late?! Normally I wake up much earlier than this, either because of my alarm clock or because one of our babies is crying…
I hurry to get up but when I finally enter the kitchen, Santana already has her jacket on and Sofia seems ready to go too…
"Hey…" I say. "Sorry, I didn't know it was so late! Why didn't you wake me up?" I ask Santana.
"Well… I was up early this morning and I had everything under control with the kids, so… I let you sleep in…" She replies but something tells me that she let me sleep in on purpose so that we wouldn't have to talk about the giant elephant in the room. And how can she be up so early when she went to bed at 4:30 AM? Did she even sleep at all?
"San… we…" I say but she cuts me off.
"I'm sorry, Britt… but I have an early meeting at Paramount today so I have to drive Sofia to daycare now, otherwise I'll be late for work. Come on mija, go grab your backpack…" She tells our little girl before turning back to me. "I already fed the boys and changed them, they're sleeping in their rooms."
"Huh… Thanks…" I reply. "But San, I think that…"
"Bye mommy!" Sofia suddenly interrupts me, hugging the bottom half of my body. While I caress our daughter's hair, Santana places a quick kiss on my cheek and I don't even have time to react that they are both out the door.
What just happened? And what am I supposed to do with myself if my wife and daughter are already gone and my sons are sleeping?
But then another thought suddenly hits me: Santana kissed me goodbye… on the cheek?! I don't even think that this has ever happened before!
Something is definitely not right.
LATER – AT PARAMOUNT – SANTANA POV
After another unpleasant meeting with Lee, I asked Quinn to stay in my office and told her all about the events of last night.
"What?!" She reacts, both angry and shocked. "That man is the devil incarnate! You don't believe him, right?"
"I don't know, Q…" I shrug. "He lied about so many things in the past but one thing is for certain: he clearly did ask his cousin to look into Brittany's file… That's the only way he could have known because we never shared any details about our donor, not even with our parents. I don't know if he really is a donor or if he declared being a Hispanic dancer… All I know is that he matches our donor's profile, every part of it…"
She gives me sad look and places her hand on my knee without saying another word. But after so many years of friendship, I know exactly what that means… That's Quinn's way to tell me that she's here for me and that I have her undivided attention…
I might as well talk to her actually because deep down, I know that I'm not ready to discuss this with Brittany. I just can't.
I inhale deeply to give me the courage to tell Quinn how I feel… Something that I have never been really good at.
"You know…" I sigh, looking at my hands on my lap. "Ever since the twins were born, I have spent countless hours looking at them, studying their faces… And every single time, I would find some new resemblance with Brittany…" I shrug. "And it made me so happy knowing that both of my sons looked like my favorite person in the whole world! Especially Gabriel… God, that boy… He's so much like her…"
"I know…" Quinn whispers, nodding in agreement.
"And last night, I couldn't sleep so I sneaked into the boys' rooms and… once again, I just kept looking at them…" I add. "Except that this time… I was anxiously searching for any resemblance with the man that I despise the most on this planet!"
"I can't even look at my kids without thinking of him now… He even ruined that for me…" I say, tears slowly filling my eyes.
Quinn immediately grabs my hand and holds it tight, encouraging me to continue speaking.
"And you know what's fucking ironic in all this, Q?" I say. "Before I got pregnant with Sofia, Britt and I… we looked into our options and… at some point, we considered asking one of our friends to be our sperm donor. We thought that it would be nice to pick someone we appreciated, instead of a random donor we knew nothing about. And if it was one of our friends, our baby would actually get to know their biological father. So… please do not ever repeat this because we never told anyone but… when we decided that I would carry our first child, we considered asking Sam to be our donor. He was the obvious choice because… he basically could pass for Britt's brother! Of course, we didn't know if he would agree or if Mercedes would be comfortable with that… But anyway, we never asked them. Because even though Britt was fine with that option, I eventually realized that I was not… It would have been too tough on me to have our kid's biological father in our lives. It would have been a constant reminder that… I can't have a child with my wife unless there is a third party involved…" I add in a sad tone.
"And at the time, I already started to think of the day Brittany would carry one of our children… And I got scared that if we were to choose a friend as her donor… I would feel like the baby is that friend's kid and not mine…" I add. "So I told Brittany that we should go for anonymous donors because we didn't need a father after all, we just needed… um… a guy's swimmers." I shrug. "That was the perfect solution because when there is no name and no face, honestly… you even forget that someone else got involved. But now… I might have to live the rest of my life knowing that James - of all people – might have done the one thing I cannot do: get my wife pregnant… And it drives me crazy, Quinn… I can't stand it!" I add, tears now rolling down my face.
"He might not be the twins' father, San…" Quinn says. "Maybe you should consider doing a DNA test, if James agrees… That way, you would know for sure."
"I can't, Q…" I say, shaking my head. "At least, for now, I still can hold on to the hope that perhaps he has nothing to do with the twins. If we do a DNA test and it turns out that he really is our donor, I don't know how I will get over it… I really don't want him to be my sons' father…"
LATER THAT NIGHT – BRITTANY POV
I slowly emerge from sleep after feeling the bed shifting. At least, Santana is finally home! I haven't seen her since this morning… She texted earlier saying that she would have to spend the whole evening at Paramount but I'm pretty sure that it had nothing to do with Lee this time and I'm starting to worry. She has always struggled with words but it's never a good sign when she avoids me.
"Hey…" I whisper.
"Hi…" She whispers back. "I'm sorry, I just got home… I didn't mean to wake you…"
"It's fine…" I reply, moving closer to her to drape my arm around her waist and lay my head on her chest.
I really would like to ask her how she's feeling, if she's… OK despite this situation… if we are OK. But judging by her strange behavior, if I start a discussion now, she will only push me away. So… since talking is not an option, I decide to use the only other way I know to connect with her and without warning, I press my lips on hers.
She has a moment of hesitation but eventually kisses me back. Our eyes briefly lock for a moment and before she has a chance to overthink this, I capture her lips in another kiss and progressively adjust my position to lay on top of her. Desperate to feel closer to her, I deepen the kiss as my hands begin to wander over her body but she suddenly pulls her lips away from mine.
"Britt…" She whispers. "I'm sorry but… it's been a long day and I'm very tired. I need to sleep…"
That sentence seems innocent and if I was married to anyone else, I would not even question it. But unless I'm drunk, Santana never turns down sex… not even when she's exhausted. And unfortunately, I know that this is a clear sign that we're not OK…
ON THE NEXT AFTERNOON – AT HOME
I just put the twins down for their nap when my phone suddenly rings. As I glance at the screen, I'm surprised to see that it's Santana… Is she finally done avoiding me? Because this morning, once again, she left the house as soon as I got up…
"Hi San… Is everything OK?"
"Hi Britt… um… yeah, everything is fine… I'm calling you because I just found out that I have to fly out to Seattle tomorrow morning…"
"Seattle?" I say, frowning in surprise. "But… why…?"
"Well… A few days ago, Quinn started to contact different streaming services and surprisingly, she already got a reply from Amazon Prime. Their representatives told her that they had a last minute cancellation and could squeeze us in and well... long story short: they agreed to meet us tomorrow afternoon in their headquarters, in Seattle. So… I wanted to know if you would be OK with that, with the kids and everything…?"
God this couldn't come at a worse timing… Santana and I really need have a real conversation about what happened with James but knowing her, she's definitely going to use this trip as an excuse to postpone our discussion until she comes back. I'm really not happy about this but I know that striking a deal with a streaming service is actually her only chance to save Glee… And I also know how much that means to her...
"Um… Yeah, I guess…" I eventually reply, trying my best to be supportive. "How long would you be gone?"
"I'm not sure yet but I would say about three or four days… If the first meeting goes well, we will have another one on the next day. And after that… we might make a quick stop in New York…"
"New York?" I repeat, confused.
"Yeah, it's not confirmed yet but Quinn found some kind of… advising company or something like that, I already forgot how she called it… But they have contacts with a lot of streaming services and they could probably help us get in touch with the right people…" She says. "Q is trying to get us an appointment with them this week, otherwise we will have to go another time and if we go away too often, Lee will get suspicious." She adds. "But anyway… Britt, I was thinking that you should stay with Mike and Tina while I'm gone… I would be more reassured. Handling three kids by yourself for several days… it might be too much…"
She has a point… I never had to take care of them by myself for so long… And this could quickly become exhausting considering that we have a little girl full of energy and that the twins still occasionally wake up during the night.
"Ok, yeah… You're right, it would probably be for the best…" I admit. "I'll give Tina a call. At what time will you be home today…?"
"I don't know…" She sighs. "I will try to leave work earlier if I can but since Artie will be in charge while Quinn and I are away, I have to brief him on a few things so… I'll let you know. I'm sorry, Britt… but I actually have to run. I was supposed to be on set like 10 minutes ago… I'll see you at home, OK?"
MUCH LATER THAT DAY – AT HOME
Santana did come back home earlier than yesterday, just in time to put the boys to bed and to read a bedtime story to Sofia. I barely saw her after that though because she started packing and running all over the house.
She just joined me in bed and I'm silently watching her set her alarm clock.
"Alright, done!" She says. "Night…" She suddenly adds, kissing my cheek.
"You… you're going to sleep right away?" I frown, completely stunned.
"Well… yeah…" She shrugs. "I have to get up really early…"
"But… you're leaving tomorrow!" I object.
"That's why I need to sleep now, Brittany… I'm going to have such a long day tomorrow! We're taking a super early flight just to be sure that we can get to Amazon on time. And Quinn and I will even have to work on the plane because we didn't have time to prepare for that meeting…"
"But… our away ritual…" I whisper.
"Britt…" She sighs. "I'm getting up in less than six hours…"
As if that ever stopped her before! I know all too well that this has nothing to do with a short night or the trip… The only reason she's turning me down is because of that whole donor situation!
"Fine!" I reply in an upset voice and immediately turn off my lamp before turning my back on her.
"Are you seriously mad at me right now?" She asks, clearly offended. "Brittany, I need to sleep!"
I'm so sick of her fake excuses that before I know it, I turn around and stare into her eyes.
"You know, you have to stop treating me like I cheated on you!" I say, unusually raising my voice.
"What? I… I didn't say you cheated on me…" She replies, confused.
"But you treat me like I did!" I repeat. "You think I can't tell that you're distant and that you're avoiding me?" I say. "What are you even punishing me for, exactly? I didn't do anything wrong, Santana. I didn't have sex with James and I didn't ask him to be our donor either, OK? What I did was telling my wife that I wanted to have another baby with her, that's it! And when you finally agreed, you and I chose an anonymous donor, together! I know that this is really tough on you and that James constantly tries to ruin things between you and me, but right now, you're letting him!" I add, raising my arms.
"Don't you remember that big fight we had a few years ago because of him?" I ask. "Back then, you promised me, San…. you promised that you would not shut me out again. And yet… that's exactly what you have been doing ever since you ran into him at the pub! And I'm trying not to push you but if you actually bothered talking to me about this, it would help you!" I say. "It would help us! And if you really don't want to talk or if you don't want to make love, then at least tell me so instead of making up fake excuses like being tired!" I add, even more angry. "Because you know just like me that if it was not for him, we would be having sex right now! We always do before a trip! And you know very well why! But fine… let's sleep, since that's what you want! Good night." I say, turning around to face away from her.
SANTANA POV
Well… one thing is for certain: I really upset my wife big time… And this happens so rarely that when it does, I always find myself speechless.
Frankly, I can't believe that I turned down the away ritual either because that's something that means so much to me. After all, it all comes back to Finn's sudden death and how we should not take life for granted…
I will always remember what Rachel said when we lost him… She confessed that even though they were not together at the time, the last thing he ever said to her was that he would always love her and she found comfort in that… And when Brittany was unconscious at the hospital after her accident, I did the same. I kept thinking over and over of what she had told me that morning right before I went to work. She had given me a sweet kiss, whispered "l love you" and placed her hands on her pregnant belly before saying "Bye mama" on behalf of the twins.
And she is right… If it was not for James, we would be making love right now so that I could show her how much I love her, just in case the unthinkable would happen during my trip.
God, I'm such an idiot.
"Britt…" I finally dare to whisper, moving closer to spoon her. "I'm sorry… Please turn around…" I plead but she doesn't move.
"I just…" I sigh. "I'm not ready to talk about this yet… You know I'm not good at that and honestly, I don't even think that I could find the words to describe how I'm feeling… I don't even know how to process this, I need time…"
After a few more seconds of silence, she finally turns around and locks eyes with mine. This time, she looks more sad than angry.
"I don't mean to shut you out… I just… I'm doing the best I can, even if it doesn't look like it…" I say. "And I love you, Brittany… That has not changed."
"I love you too…" She whispers, resting her forehead on mine.
As much as I hate to admit it, this whole situation is affecting me even more than I thought it would… But I'm not going to let James take the away ritual from us. So without another word, I cup Britt's cheek and press my lips on hers.
ON THE NEXT EVENING – SEATTLE - AT THE RESTAURANT
"It feels so good to finally eat, I was starving!" Quinn says.
"I know, me too…" I reply, in between two bites. "So… what did you think of the meeting? Do you think they will call us back?"
"I don't know but… I think it went pretty well! They looked interested enough." She shrugs. "I'm more afraid of what they would say during the second meeting. We have quite a long list of demands… maybe we are too picky, San…"
"I'm willing to compromise on some stuff…" I reply. "But not on who I work with. Keeping you, Artie and the current cast, it's not negotiable! And I want us to manage our schedule ourselves…"
"Yeah…" She nods. "Then… let's hold firm on those points but I think we really need to be more flexible on other things…" She adds. "Did you tell Naya about Lee's plans for next year by the way…?"
"Not yet…" I reply. "I know she suspects something though because she already asked me why her contract had not yet been renewed…"
"Well… it's true that normally at this time of year, it's already done… Especially for her, she's always among the first ones to get renewed…"
"I know…" I sigh. "For now, I just told her that we were still discussing the next season with Lee – because anyway it's true – and that I would have her back. Which is also true! I will eventually talk to her but… I would like to wait until we have more concrete info…"
"We have to be smart when it comes to Naya…" Quinn replies. "Because you know that without her, we won't have a show to sell, she's not only one of our main characters, she's also our most popular cast member…"
"I know… But there is no need for a big strategy with Rivera… We just need to be honest with her. I bet she'll be on board." I say in a reassuring voice, although I can't be sure of that… If Lee goes ahead with his stupid plan and hires a whole new cast, Naya will eventually find out that she's not renewed. And if that happens before we can secure a deal with a streaming service, her agent will probably easily find her another role on another show and we will lose her.
"Let's hope you're right…" She says. "But anyway, enough about work! It's been a long day, let's just enjoy our evening… And I must say that it's pretty nice to have a girls' night…" She adds, with a smile.
"Right?" I say, nodding. "You and I should hang out more often! How come we never do that anymore?"
"Well… for one, we usually work pretty late at night… And you have a wife and three kids now so… when are you going to hang out with me exactly?"
"Yeah OK I can't be free every night but from time to time, we could go out!" I shrug.
"OK well… tell you what… After my honeymoon, you and I will have a night out just the two of us. How does that sound?" She says.
"You got it, Fabray…" I reply, clinking my glass against hers.
"How are things between you and Britt?" She suddenly asks.
"I… I don't really know, to be honest… I still can't find the strength to talk to her about how I feel…" I reply, shaking my head. "We… um… we had sex last night but…" I trail off.
"But…?" She repeats, surprised. "What…? Was it bad…?" She whispers with a questioning frown.
"No, no… It was good. It's always good!" I shrug. "But it's just… I don't know, Q… I can't really explain it, it was like something was off… And I'm pretty sure she felt it too…"
"But it was not her, it was me…" I admit. "Because in normal times, I would focus on us during sex and forget everything else… Seriously, it's practically meditative for me! But last night… I couldn't turn my brain off, no matter how hard I tried! I had that same thought over and over: if James happened to be our donor, that would mean that he would have a connection with Brittany that I will never have… And it just weirded me out…"
"What connection?" She asks.
"The ultimate connection, Q!" I reply in frustration. "That would mean that they created Diego and Gabriel together…" I add in a sad voice.
"But San… even if he turns out to be your donor, that would only make him the twins' genitor, he's not their father! And that I can tell you from experience because even if I gave birth to a little girl, I'm not her mom… Shelby is! I actually have a deeper bond with your daughter than with Beth!" She says and I suddenly feel bad for making her think about that.
"You shouldn't worry about this, San… Trust me. I mean… you also picked a donor for your own pregnancy… Imagine that some day that guy comes knocking at your door, saying that he's Sofia's biological father… Will you suddenly feel a bigger connection with him than you do with your wife?"
"No…" I admit.
"And if you put that guy next to Brittany, in front of Sofia…" She says. "Who do you think your little girl would run to…? She would go to Britt because that's her mom while that guy is just a stranger!" She shrugs. "Brittany and you share the same three kids, Santana… And whenever your children will mention their parents to anyone, they will always refer to you two. You're a family and that is the ultimate connection! James is never going to be part of that."
She makes some good points but I still feel awkward about this, as if I couldn't find my place in this new… configuration.
LATER THAT NIGHT – SEATTLE - AT THE HOTEL
Quinn and I were very tired after dinner so we decided to come back to the hotel and call it a night.
After taking a shower, I check my phone and notice that I have a vocal message from Brittany.
"Hi San! I hope everything is going well for you and Quinn in Seattle… I just wanted to…"
"I want to talk to mama!" I suddenly hear Sofia's voice interrupting her.
"I know, peanut… But mama is busy right now, she didn't pick up the phone so I'm just leaving her a message."
"But I also want to leave a message…" Our little girl says and I can easily picture that cute pout of hers.
"I will give you the phone in a minute, OK?" Brittany says.
"OK…" my baby girl replies in a disappointed tone, which makes me chuckle.
"Where was I?" Brittany says. "Oh yeah… I wanted to tell you that we are at Mike and Tina's and we are all set now! The twins were a bit cranky at first, probably because they didn't know this house, but luckily, they're both asleep now. I took some great pictures of them with Mike and Tina, I'll send them to you. And…"
"Can I talk to mama now?" Sofia asks again.
"You have to wait a little longer, baby… I'm not finished yet…" She replies in a soft tone. "So um… what was I saying? Sorry… she's very distracting today. Oh yes, so…"
"And now?" Our daughter interrupts her again.
"Sofia…" Brittany says in a more serious tone, clearly having enough of our little girl's impatience.
"Sorry…" Sofia immediately replies, knowing that it's not a good sign when her mommy uses her full name. It's basically as bad as when she calls me Santana…
"So, as I was saying before all these interruptions… the plumber is finally coming to our house tomorrow! So I will take the twins with me and go over there for a couple of hours, while Sofia is at daycare."
"Ok you can leave your message for mama now..." Brittany suddenly adds, apparently handing the phone to our daughter.
"Mamaaaa! Can you hear me?" I hear Sofia shout, like every time she's on the phone.
"But peanut, I told you… mama is not on the phone right now so she can't reply to you. Just tell her what you want to say and she will listen to it later."
"Okay… Mama!" She says again. "Today, Jack brought his turtle and I even fed him! His name is Donatello and he walks soooo slow!" She says. "Can we have a turtle too? And a goldfish? And when can I have my dog?" She asks in an excited tone.
Oh my God, she's really becoming more and more like Brittany! Why do they even love pets so much? I don't want to turn my house into an animal shelter!
"And then I went to the park with Alex, Uncle Mike and Auntie Tina… And Liam was there! He gave me a flower… A pink one! It's so pretty!"
Oh God… She's still in love with that Irish half pint…?!
ON THE NEXT DAY – LOS ANGELES – BRITTANY POV
I just spent half an hour listening to the plumber's shady explanations to justify why he can't fix the leak today and needs to come back tomorrow. I'm not convinced at all… I'm even wondering if he doesn't say that so that he can charge us more. If Santana was here, I'm sure she would have threatened him so much that he would have finished the work today. Maybe I should call her to tell her…
But as I grab my phone, I see that I have a missed call from her… Of course, she called right when I was busy with the plumber, that's just my luck.
Fortunately, she left me a voicemail.
"Hi Britt… um… I was hoping to speak to you but I guess you're busy…" She says and I can hear a lot of noise in the background. "I hope you and the kids are good… We are at the airport now and are about to board the plane to New York. So… I will not be reachable for a few hours but I'll text you when I land, OK? Quinn and I had our second meeting with Amazon today… I think it went well but it's hard to know if they are really interested or not… They said they might take a few weeks to make a decision anyway. And… um… we ran into Julia… Peterson."
What?!
"She's shooting a movie in Seattle, for Amazon Prime actually… And she was at the headquarters for a meeting… Anyway, she invited us for lunch…"
Oh my God, the nerve of that woman! She tries to sleep with my wife and then she invites her for lunch as if nothing happened?!
"We couldn't decline her invitation because she knows Lee pretty well and we were afraid she could tell him about running into us here… So we told her the whole story during our lunch… I hope she's going to keep her mouth shut. She has to… otherwise we're completely screwed! But she did say that in the meanwhile, she will use her fame to promote Glee… So she took a picture of us and already posted it on social networks… She said that… Oh I have to go, Quinn is waving at me. Kiss the kids for me? Bye."
As soon as I'm done listening to her message, I immediately check my social networks and see the picture she mentioned: Julia is standing in the middle, between Santana and Quinn, with her arms around their shoulders. But I get even more angry when I read the caption: "Caught lunch with two of my favorite ladies… the beautiful Santana Lopez-Pierce and Quinn Fabray! Their groundbreaking musical TV Show 'Glee' will always hold a special place in my heart!"
Oh really? Because it rather seems like it holds a special place between her legs…
And Santana didn't even end her message with an "I love you"…
ON THE NEXT DAY – NEW YORK – SANTANA POV
"Look how cute they are!" Kurt says, handing my phone to Blaine to show him a picture of the twins. "OK this time, I'm saying it: Santana, I would like to officially apply for the role of godfather whenever you and Britt have your next kid." He adds.
"Next kid?" I say, frowning. "Sorry to disappoint you, Porcelain, but there is not going to be a next kid!"
"Why not? You and Britt are still young, you have money… you could have one more." He shrugs.
"Yeah, OK… Clearly, you don't know how much work it is to raise a kid. Let alone three! I'm stopping there, thank you! If you want a godchild, ask Berry." I say, nodding towards Rachel across the table.
"Me?" Rachel repeats. "No, no… I still want to play in a few Broadway shows before I become a mom. But I have a feeling that Quinn will be neeext.." She sing songs with a smile.
"Let me first get married, Rach…" Quinn laughs.
"Are you really leaving New York today by the way, Quinn?" Blaine asks. "You just got here!"
"I'm afraid so…" She replies. "It's the last time I can see my mom before the wedding, so I'm taking the train to Lima this afternoon and will spend the weekend over there, before flying back to L.A."
"What about you, Santana?" Rachel asks.
"Well… I was actually thinking of going to Lima too… I haven't seen my parents since Christmas so… I just need to see if Britt is OK with taking care of the kids by herself for an additional couple of days…" I say, checking my phone to see if she answered my text.
FROM "WIFEY": Mike and Tina said that I can stay as long as I want so I guess that if you really want to go to Lima, it should be fine. But you have to come home on Monday, San… We need to talk. And the kids need their mama.
"Well… looks like I'm going to Lima with you, Fabray." I say with a smile, pretending that everything is OK.
The truth is that I only decided to go to Lima because I was dreading my conversation with Brittany and I wanted to buy more time. But her text is pretty clear… Once I'm back in L.A., I won't be able to escape it…
ON THE NEXT MORNING – LOS ANGELES – AT MIKE AND TINA'S - BRITTANY POV
My morning didn't start exactly well… It's 6:00 AM and Gabriel has been crying for over an hour already… so loud that he woke up his brother as well. That was to be expected since they both sleep in the guestroom with me… Fortunately, Sofia is in Alex' room and it seems that they are still in dreamland.
Of course, Gabriel eventually woke up Mike and Tina as well… They immediately offered their help but even though they have been trying for a while, they have not managed to put my son back to sleep either.
"I'm sorry, Britt… I can't get him to stop crying either…" Mike tells me in an apologetic tone, still trying to rock Gabriel in his arms. "He's usually so calm, I had no idea that he could cry like this…"
"Let me try again…" Tina says, taking my boy in her arms. "Maybe he will calm down if we sing a lullaby?" She suggests.
The three of us end up singing the lullaby together but unfortunately, it doesn't help.
"Ssh… ssh… Come on, bud…" I say in my sweetest voice, kissing his forehead. "You know that today we're going to have a lot of fun with Uncle Mike and Auntie Tina! So why are you so unhappy?" I ask him, even though I know exactly why he's crying…
"Alright…" I finally say in defeat. "I'll call your mama…"
A FEW MINUTES LATER
I don't even know if Santana is free right now but I'm hoping that once Gabriel sees her on screen and hears her voice, he will calm down…
"Is everything OK, Britt?" Santana says in a sleepy voice. She looks like she just woke up.
"Hi San… I'm so sorry to disturb you but…" I trail off, suddenly confused by the background. This is not her parents' house… "Um… where are you?" I ask.
And what is this shirt she's wearing? I have never seen it before.
"I'm at Mel's…" She replies.
What? Why is she even at Melissa's so early in the morning?
"I went to her house last night after having dinner with my parents and we ended up drinking too much. It was not safe for me to drive so… I slept on the couch… And apparently, Mel did too…" She laughs, turning the camera to Melissa who is obviously not fully awake yet. But I can clearly see that half of her body is laying on MY wife and I feel rage building up in my chest.
"Hi Brittany!" Melissa eventually says, waving at me as if that was no big deal.
"Hi Mel…" I reply, clenching my jaws.
"Coffee, San?" Melissa asks.
"YEEES please! And would you have anything for migraine? This hangover is killing me…" San replies as Melissa walks away.
"Interesting shirt." I comment.
"Oh this… yeah..." Santana chuckles. "I didn't have my stuff with me so Mel let me borrow one of her shirts..."
Great. She's wearing other women's clothes now…
"So… how come you call me so early, Britt? It's like 6:30 AM for you!"
"Well, your son keeps crying and even his Uncle Mike and Auntie Tina do not manage to calm him down… At this point, I just didn't know what else to do than calling you, so… here we are."
"Oh… I'm sorry to hear that…" She says. "I'm not sure what I can do from here but… I can talk to him or sing if you want?"
"Yeah please, let's try… Because he already woke up Diego and I'm afraid that Sofia and Alex might wake up too if he doesn't stop soon…"
"That bad huh? Oh! I know what we can do! You should take my shirt and wrap him in it… that might help." She says.
"Your shirt?" I repeat, confused. "But San, I'm not at home, I don't have any of your clothes with me…"
"You do actually… I put the shirt I sleep in in Gabriel's bag before I left… I figured that this might help if he had one of his crying crises… It's in the side pocket of the bag."
"OK…" I reply, surprised. "I guess I can try… can I call you back in a minute?"
"Sure, Britt… call me back when you're ready." She says, before hanging up.
I go into the living room where Tina and Mike are still desperately trying to calm down Gabriel. After taking my boy in my arms, I go back to the guestroom and take Santana's shirt out of the bag. I bring it to my nose and inhale deeply… This might actually work because it does smell like her…
"Here, handsome…" I whisper, wrapping Gabriel in her shirt. "I know you miss your mama… But this should help…"
I give him a minute, gently rocking him in my arms. His crying progressively slows down until it fully stops. This is still hard to believe! I carried him in my belly for 9 months and yet, no one makes him feel safer than San…
My little boy eventually falls asleep and I put him back in his bassinet before carefully getting out of the room to call back Santana.
"Is he still crying?" She asks.
"No… he's asleep. That was a genius idea…"
"It's not really my idea, I just read an article about that recently…"
"Well… it worked like a charm! I don't know if I should be offended but you're clearly his favorite…"
"Well… you're Diego's favorite so… that's only fair!" She says with a smile.
"I'm not his favorite! He loves you!" I object.
"He might love me but he would totally kill me to be with you! It's like a twisted Oedipus complex!" She chuckles. "So what are you up to today?"
"We'll do a barbecue apparently and Mike is really serious about it! You should see how much food he bought! He also invited Sam, Mercedes and Artie to come over so that should be fun... And you, what will you do today?"
"That sounds really nice! Say hi to everyone for me! Me… well, Mel and I will soon go to my parents to have brunch together, Abuela is coming too…"
I can't help but feel annoyed. The Lopez brunches are usually for big occasions and reserved to family members! So why is Mel even invited? That woman already calls Santana way too often and now she even uses my wife as her pillow and has brunch with my in-laws? What's next? Is she going to raise my children too?
"And after lunch, I'm going to see Mr Schue and then… Mel and I will go to Breadstix for dinner."
"Just the two of you?" I ask, not liking the sound of that.
"Yeah… I asked Quinn if she wanted to join us but she already has plans with her mom so…"
So Melissa is going to spend another evening alone with Santana… that's just great! And at Breadstix of all places? That's where we used to spend our dates!
ON THE NEXT AFTERNOON – LOS ANGELES – AT THE PUB – JAMES POV (!)
"I'm really glad you called…" I tell Brittany. "To be honest… I was hoping you would…"
"Well… if we're being honest… I really hesitated." She replies. "But like I told you on the phone, I have a lot of questions… about what you said to Santana."
"Of course…" I nod in understanding. "I'm happy to answer whatever questions you might have, Britt... But now that you mentioned Santana… Does she know you're here…?"
"No, she doesn't. Santana is away on a business trip…" She replies and I feel relieved. At least, we have a chance at a real conversation if that crazy woman is not here. I will never understand why someone as sweet as Brittany is with someone like Santana… That bitch almost broke my nose the other day!
"She's supposed to come back home tomorrow but I wouldn't be surprised if she finds yet another excuse to extend her stay!" She says in spite of herself and I can hear the frustration in her voice. "I'm taking care of three kids by myself while she spends all of her time with women that want to have sex with her!" She adds, raising her arms.
Oh… trouble in paradise? Interesting… Maybe this is my chance to finally get Brittany for myself!
"I'm sorry…" She says in a calmer tone. "I didn't mean to rant… It's been a long week..."
"Please, don't worry about it… I completely understand…" I reply with a sympathetic smile.
But it's very obvious that she's mad at Santana right now and I'm really enjoying that.
"So… what did you want to ask me?" I say.
"Um… Well… Santana told me what you said to her but… I need to hear it from you. And by that, I mean that I really need to hear the truth, James…"
"OK… The truth." I nod in agreement.
"Are you really half Hispanic?" She asks.
"Yes." I say before taking my phone to show her a picture. "This is my mother, Teresa… She was born in Madrid and lived there until she was 15. Then her parents moved to L.A… And the woman next to her is my Abuela."
She looks at the picture for a while before raising her eyes towards me. She looks conflicted... as if she was trying to decide if she can believe me or not.
"I figured you would not believe me so… I brought my birth certificate with me just in case." I say, placing the document in front of her. "As you can see yourself, I'm the son of Charles Pearson and... Teresa Ramos Fernandez."
"Ok…" She eventually whispers, nodding.
This time, she looks convinced.
"Santana said you got access to my file at the fertility clinic…" She adds. "Obviously that's true because she and I were the only ones that knew our donor's profile. Why did you do that…?" She asks, locking eyes with me. "There was incredibly private information in there…"
"I know…" I admit. "I'm not proud of what I did, Brittany but… do you remember the day I ran into you at the zoo? You were with Santana and your daughter…" I say and she nods. "That was the first time I saw you in months and that was also the day I discovered that you were pregnant. And then it got me thinking… Since you were married to a woman, the only way for you to get pregnant was to get a sperm donor… And even though it was a long shot, I started to wonder… What if you went to the same fertility clinic I went to? What if they had used my… um… donation to get you pregnant? What if your babies were my biological children?"
"I just… I had to find out, Brittany. Because when you're a sperm donor, you actually don't know what happens afterwards. You don't know if your donation is going to be used for medical research or if it's going to be used to help a woman conceive. And if it's for a woman, you don't even know if it's going to work… But if it does work, it means that you might have biological children somewhere, without knowing… And honestly, after I donated… I just kept wondering who my kids could be… Maybe it was that baby I saw with his parents every time I was jogging at the park… or the baby of my parent's new neighbours… or maybe… those twins that you were carrying…"
"So… I asked my cousin to look into your file, even though that's illegal… And I'm truly sorry for not respecting your privacy." I say, looking into her eyes. "But when I checked your donor's profile and saw that I was a perfect match… I… I just…" I sigh. "You know how I feel about you, Brittany… I have been in love with you ever since I met you… And if I could pick anyone to carry my children, it would be you…" I shrug. "Can you really blame me for wondering if destiny had perhaps made it happen?" I add, placing my hand on top of hers.
She immediately looks down at our joined hands and I swallow hard, wondering how she's going to react. But surprisingly, she doesn't move her hand away… Is this situation changing things? Does she finally feel the connection between us?
"But if you knew all this time, why didn't you contact me?" She asks. "Why did you wait until you ran into Santana?"
"Well… the last time you texted me, you made it clear you didn't want me to approach you again, so… I don't think you would have agreed to talk to me… But I did know where to find Santana because she often comes here with that friend of hers… And um… since you want the truth, I must admit that... I wanted to provoke her. I guess I always do… But that's only because I'm jealous, Brittany… Santana has everything I want…"
She remains silent for a minute as if she was trying to process what I just said and I don't dare to say more.
"Are you… Are you really our donor?" She finally asks, locking her blue eyes with mine.
A/N: What did you think of this chapter, guys? Any feedback on Santana's behavior, or Brittany's? Or James'? About the business trip? Please let me know in the reviews and thank you for your feedback!
