AN: Happy New Year to everybody!
Thank you for your reviews and support!
Chapter 36
October 31st, 2021
This was Stars Hollow at its finest. Pumpkins of all shapes and sizes, strawbale, hanging fake spider webs with gigantic spiders, vased creepy-looking branches, an occasional skeleton or mad scientist jumping out from behind various objects and of course the orange-golden leaves on most of the trees, the latter being there naturally. Some really just used the holiday to already put their Christmas lights into good use, but skipped the Santas and bells for now.
Of course no decor was a match if the people didn't go along with it - but here they did, unlike in West Hartford. It was for this reason Rory occasionally missed living in Stars Hollow, but she valued his extra hour of sleep in the mornings she could have if she didn't have to commute nearly 30 miles.
But this time of year she was almost wanting to reconsider. Seeing all the friendly faces, and seeing the smile on Em's face did that. She could see a family of three dressed as the sky - the kid as a rainbow, mom and dad as clouds, Babette and Morey as Men In Black, one of the teenagers groups dressed like they'd just stepped out of Grease had just taken over the gazebo, a Frida Kahlo with the unibrow, and her favourite Morticia and Wednesday that mind her a little bit of her and her mother when they'd once tried that.
Rory walked around the town square sipping on some pumpkin-spice chai latte, looking almost like a traitor. Her only costume so far was Em's kitty headband from last year and a tail that was tied to the back of her jeans, having been in some hurry running her errands as brunch with Logan had taken a little longer than she'd planned. She wasn't alone, however, Em hopping ahead of her, having stuck with her Tinker Bell outfit.
"Wait up," Lorelai called after her, having been held up talking to one of her Inn customers, who was looking for directions, for a moment. But as Em could hardly be stopped with everything as inviting and festive, Rory had continued walking after Em who was trick or treating, slowly ahead.
Lorelai was dressed as a lion tamer, wearing a red-bowed tophat, a red vest and a ring master's coat with a pair of dark leggings, a whip and golden ring in her one hand.
Mrs. Kim's was next.
"Trick or treat," Em cheered along with a few other kids, one dressed as an astronaut, another as a pinecone and two Elsa's from Frozen at Mrs. Kim's doorstep.
"Didn't you warn her?" Lorelai commented to Rory, both having stayed a few steps behind the kids. It was no longer their night.
"Lane actually gave her a recipe for date balls yesterday, so there's some hope," Rory replied, hopefully.
"Date balls?!" Lorelai stared at her daughter questioningly.
"Yes, date, you know - the sweet palm fruit. You blend them up in a mixer with some coconut or nuts. They're good," Rory summed it up, speaking seriously.
"Nuts," Lorelai chuckled, still being on a child's level with her humour sometimes, while Mrs. Kim appeared at the door with a bowl of treats. If they were date balls, one couldn't really tell at least, leaving the kids a little puzzled. But people were trustworthy around here, and while it may not be the most popular treat of the night she was still friendly enough not to frighten the little ones. But if was anyone who would get away with poor Halloween treats, it was her. Nobody wanted to be under the fury of Mrs. Kim.
With some encouragement from her mother Em hopped ahead to the next house - the McGregor's who Lorelai knew through work.
"So how was it?" Lorelai inquired from Rory, in just a few words, leaving Rory with no doubt what she was asking about, as the kids were in awe of the McGregor's teenagers own costumes - the Simpsons.
"Good," Rory replied briefly. She was hesitant to go into the details - there was a lot that was not easy to talk about. And while there wasn't the euphoria she might have if she had just jumped head first into that relationship, along with its physical side, which they hadn't, she was kind of giddy and wanting to share if she thought about it.
"Oh, come on, you've got to do better than that," Lorelai objected, as they continued to walk.
"I helped him unpack, we talked, watched a few movies, finished with brunch this morning," Rory spilled, already expecting her mother's teasing to come.
"So, was he as good as he used to be? I bet he still looks hot," Lorelai inquired, speaking like a teenager.
"I didn't sleep with him, we just slept - we're taking things slow," Rory explained calmly, but wondered why she even had shared that brunch part. It would've been so much easier not to. "And yes, he still looks hot… Different.. But definitely hot," she added, getting now to that point that she was actually a little eager to share the giddiness she felt in her gut with someone.
"Different how?" she asked.
"Well, he has a beard for starters," Rory began.
"Really? What kind?" Lorelai inquired.
"A stubble, trimmed but sort of medium length I guess… with this little tiny thing here, going up to his lower lip," Rory described, pointing at a space between her chin and lips and her cheeks to imitate the look.
"Wow," Lorelai said, trying to picture it.
"And I don't know… I guess he looks a bit less polished, a little fitter, rough around the edges - imagine leather jackets, jeans and t-shirts instead of the business suit," she added, not even getting to the tattoo part of it.
"I bet it must feel so different kissing him like that - I remember the way Jason tickled," she discussed. Luke had mostly stuck to just his five o'clock shadow, not wanting to shave every day, rarely longer than that, so Jason was a much better example of a beard and mustache in her mind.
"I didn't kiss him either," Rory confessed, though he had indeed tickled when he kissed her at her temple or forehead. It was that that had woken her in fact, not so much the kiss. But, boy, was she curious to find out.
"What!?" Lorelai let her mouth fall open.
"We're taking this slow, I told you," Rory repeated. "Right now it's a lot of talking, pulling out a lot of things we're never talked about," she added. "We're getting reacquainted, learning to know each other again…" she continued, thinking a little, before adding, "I can't tell you exactly what it is - but he's changed a lot on the inside too. We're the same... but five years is a long time." She could feel that there were things she didn't even understand about Logan yet - for example why he'd chosen such a frugal way to reinvent his life. Not that she wanted or needed the alternative from him, it just seemed so unlike him. Now especially as Mitchum had died and he was again at least peaceful around his mother. She sensed there was more there, she was curious but also a little scared to find out what.
"Alright… I get it," Lorelai nodded along, watching Em approach Lane's who was already expectantly waiting for the kids with a big bag of candy on her doorstep, dressed herself in a witch's outfit. She was offering the kids to exchange her mom's treats to hers.
To Rory it had felt good to share what she was experiencing, at least a fraction of it, with her mother. Someone who actually knew Logan from back then. Briefly she even believed Lorelai had liked him. But it was only as Lane stepped up to chat, delaying the party of three a little, she realized that there were a few key details Lorelai didn't know, which were probably crucial that she did. For example, that Logan had never actually cheated on his fiance. Hence she knew there was plenty she would need to do to raise his stocks in Lorelai's eyes, if it was her approval she was after. She wasn't as dependant on that approval these days, but as Lorelai was a factor in how Em saw Logan too. She needed people on her side of this, sensing already that Jess wasn't going to be one of them.
They were halfway done with Peach street, including Dean's old house that now housed Kirk and Lulu, when suddenly another familiar voice approached them. It was the costume, however, that caused a burst of laughter from the two Gilmore women though.
It was Jess, dressed as Peter Pan, tights and all, who surprised Em from behind her, raising her up and swirled her around, then placing her onto his shoulders along with her joyous squeals. They often did city festival together, despite not being together, and more importantly despite Jess not being a fan. Even Jess put of with these things for his daughter, and that was definitely admirable.
They continued around the familiar streets, now the four of them, Luke holding up the fort, or rather the circus tent back in Maple street.
Jess looked, unsurprisingly, good in a his costume though, Rory had to admit - the tights bringing out his buff thighs and the shirt emphasizing his biceps. Even so much that he couln't completely escaped Ms. Patty's and Babette's a attention, leaving Rory chuckling at his expense.
As she observed him though - it was no longer longing or attraction she felt though, but rather Logan's worries and the things she'd told Logan the night before that were coming back to her mind. She'd always thought it was for the better that Jess didn't know the whole truth - how she'd used him. He knew part of it, the kiss part at least.
Recalling her therapist words from years ago - sometimes telling the truth, even if it was the painful kind, could set one free. She wasn't there yet, however, wanting to keep this, this playful and well-meaning Jess that she knew around her and Em longer. He didn't need to know what would do nothing that hurt him, but she felt she did want to be honest with him on other things, like that there really wasn't hope for him - so he'd be able to move on and hopefully let her do the same with Logan. Maybe she was naive, and she really hadn't planned on doing it this soon, but it felt right. After all she and Logan were exclusive, even if not juming in head first.
Hence once they returned to Maple street and Em got busy watching Lorelai and Luke perform a sketch in their personal circus, which actually used the ancient tent from Rory's graduation party that Luke had made, Rory snuck up to Jess, who was standing in the back, for a word.
"Em looks happy, doesn't she," Rory noted. "I'm glad you went along with it too," she added.
Jess smiled appreciatively. "She does, doesn't she?" Jess commented, and continued to comment that the girl was probably on a sugar rush already from all the treats.
"Listen, I wanted to run something by you," Rory began, getting Jess' attention.
"I'm going to need a weekday evening off every couple of weeks. I was wondering if you might be able to take Em for an extra day or think of something to do with her in the evening in Hartford. I thought maybe you'd like it... I can always offer Lorelai or the nanny if you can't but I just thought you deserved the first say," she said.
"I can probably swing it, unless I'm out of town," Jess said, in his low tone that sounded a little funny considering his costume.
"I should get a schedule next week sometime," Rory replied.
"A schedule? Something fun, or something serious?" Jess inquired, casually.
Rory didn't even mind him asking, they usually were pretty open about what they were doing, whether they had new hobbies or such, but this was definitely one that came with a longer explanation. But now it really was the moment of truth wasn't it - to be honest and straightforward about it or lie?
"I'm going back to therapy," Rory began.
Jess nodded. "Everything okay?" Jess asked, sounding concern.
"Yeah, I'm good. But I'm actually going to try couples therapy with someone from my past. We're going to try to work some things out, give us another chance," Rory found herself confessing, having not planned on saying this much in the beginning of this evening. She could already sense that he'd now want to know more.
She could definitely observe his face go grim at that line and Rory was hit by panic.
Jess walked away furiously, Rory could tell. He did that when he didn't want to say something in Em's earshot, and Rory really had no alternative but to follow him. If there was fury to be objected to someone, she was the one who was supposed to be the recipient. No good would come from him dwelling on these emotions.
"Jess, hold on," Rory called as she rushed after him down Maple street towards town center.
"I get that you need therapy, you really do," Jess said ruthlessly. "But that you throw this to my face? I expected more from you, Rory!" Jess objected, angrily.
"What...?" Rory stared at him in confusion. This was not what she'd expected.
"You take Paul or Sean whatever his name is to therapy? You never did that with me! What did I ever do to you that you won't give me the same chance, ah!?" Jess continued, sounding genuinely offended. Rory had only gone to therapy by herself all these years.
Rory was actually a little surprised he'd even brought Paul up, after all he'd known she'd seen Logan recently. But he didn't know about their former relationship, did he?
"I'm sorry…," Rory managed. "And it's not Paul.., it's Logan," she added, the last name coming out especially fearfully. It was probably too soon, but now it was out there. She felt lighter, while Jess certainly didn't.
"Logan? I should've known," Jess huffed and stormed off, and Rory no longer followed.
She'd expected him to be mad at the fact that it was Logan, but not about the other part - the therapy. And she'd been too tongu tied to tell him that there was no hope for the two of them, even with all the therapy in the world.
The reality of the situation was that she was now going to have explain to Em where Jess had gone, and she was bound to be disappointed by the fact, while she was the guilty one.
She felt naive and stupid for having told him. She felt lighter herself, but him probably nothing but fury. It had been selfish to tell him, and she knew it. Maybe she hadn't changed at all?
