Chapter 40
March 3rd, 2017
"What is all this?" Luke mumbled, as he was being dragged back inside the house by Lorelai where Jess and Rory were waiting for him in the kitchen. Since the minute Rory and Jess had showed up on her doorstep saying they needed to tell them something, Lorelai had had a hunch - a hunch that the two were involved, that is. But it had been enough for Lorelai to instantaneously drag Luke away from his next project in the garage - another boat restoration, just one that was smaller and more likely to actually float compared to the one his father had once owned.
"We have some news," Jess said, putting his arm around Rory for the first time in their presence, or public for that matter, since they'd gotten together a little more than three months ago. It was a miracle they'd manage to keep it to themselves that long to be honest, but it helped that Rory hadn't lived in Stars Hollow most of the time but in Hartford, with less prying eyes.
Luke looked very happy at that sight. They could both tell. It was a rare sight to see him this relieved and joyous.
"Glad to hear," Luke congratulated them patting Jess' shoulder, already jumping into conclusions.
"Luke! Let them speak!" Lorelai urged, sensing there was something more.
Paul Anka barked as is repeating what she'd just said.
"Well… we're happy to announce..," Jess began but suddenly felt like what he was about to say differed from what he was expected to say. At least by Luke.
"I'm pregnant," Rory said, running on Jess' wave of euphoria herself. Seeing him this happy, made her feel happy. It went a long way and would continue to go for a while, looking forward. She pulled out a sonogram picture from her back pocket to prove it.
Lorelai's mouth dropped open much like it had the last time, except she and Rory were the only two in the room that knew about that time. Rory had waited the full twelve weeks to tell her this time. It had been hard - but she'd done it, the much weaker morning sickness having helped considerably. The hardest part had been Paul Anka in fact, the dog having favored Rory like she'd had sugar toes every since, wanting to rest his head on her lap whenever she sat down.
"Wow-..," Luke exclaimed, gathering himself sooner than Lorelai did. "That's incredible, congratulations. I'm so happy for you," he continued to hug the two again. "I didn't even know…," he began, wanting to say that he didn't know they were seeing each other again. After all, the last time he'd asked Jess about it the day before his own wedding he'd gotten no more than a grunt in return.
"Mom?" Rory inquired, seeing her mother's stunned face. It was rare that her mother was this tongue tied.
"Oh honey, congratulations," Lorelai said, having gathered herself and hugged the two as well, but Rory could tell she had a lot of 'but'-s that she wasn't saying in front of Jess and for that she was thankful. She didn't need her to say them, she knew those 'but'-s herself.
"So what does this all mean?" Luke inquired, not hiding well that he had expected another type of announcement.
"That I'll try to be around here more," Jess replied, plainly. He was never one for romantics, like dropping on one knee just because Rory was pregnant. They hadn't been in this long enough - Jess was not that kind of guy to jump into the legal side of things lightly. Besides, he had a hunch that she wouldn't say 'yes' even if he did - just for that reason alone.
"Harford," Rory added, having already enrolled at the local university, not wanting them to start hoping they'd move to Stars Hollow. She even had a few substituting lessons under her sleeve already, both at Chilton and in other schools around the State, there being a big demand for teachers.
"You two, at grandma's?" Lorelai burst into laughter, the thought sounding almost unimaginable. Rory had been staying there for a while, that was no secret. But that had never seemed like a viable plan in the long run, no less with someone like Jess who had once stood out like sore thumb at the Gilmore mansion, and still did.
"Well...," Rory began, gathering herself. "...obviously not, we'll rent something. There's still some time for that. I think... with Jess still working in Philadelphia," she added. They hadn't really come into this conversation with a lot of preparation. So far it had largely been Jess spending the weekends in Connecticut and the rest of the time working in Philly.
But it was the fact that she was no longer alone to figure everything out - that seemed to make all the difference for her outlook. She truly thought things would sort themselves out. After all a baby would come when she came, no matter if she felt ready for it or not. It had to work out.
"I guess," Lorelai said, shrugged, and reminded Rory of how reluctant she herself had once been about asking Emily for money. Rory had two people to ask money from and she didn't really want to ask either, being just as stubborn as Lorelai had once been. Years later, Lorelai at least had the advantage to tease Rory about it.
"Renting is a rip off, you need to buy," Luke advised, and continued to go on about how they should get a fixer upper which he'd personally help fix up it for them, promising to teach Jess how to do woodwork.
The house was filled with anticipation and it felt like the beginning of a lot of changes, with the two elders in the room doing most of the talking. Asking about the baby's gender and due date, while Luke even offered Jess a possibility to come back to the diner if he needed to, which he naturally didn't, leaving the two glancing at each other across the room, wondering when this craziness would be over. They both got the sense that it'd be a while.
It was also seeing Luke so over the moon for them that gave Rory some encouragement that maybe things could be alright, despite some initial hesitance Rory had about all the changes to come. Rory hoped to avoid getting the talk from Lorelai as long as she could help it. After all, it wouldn't change anything now.
November 5th, 2021
The Gilmore-Danes household had been eerily quiet without the occasional bark and the slow patter of Paul Anka's claws against the hardwood floors the last time they'd been there. It was especially painful that as they'd driven over that evening - Em had for a moment forgotten that the dog wasn't around anymore and asked if she could go play catch with him before dinner.
It had broken Rory's heart to remind Em that she couldn't do that anymore. It felt like having to tell her the bad news all over again.
But as they made it up the steps there was a surprising barking noise.
"Paul Anka?!" the little girl exclaimed excitedly, clearly hoping that miraculously the dog had been brought back to life.
"Honey, it can't be, but we'll see in a minute," Rory said, not knowing whether it was a good thing for her mom to get another dog this quickly, but whatever it was making Em excited at least. Besides it wouldn't be the first time her mother dog-sat for someone or had someone over who had a dog.
"Hey!" Rory greeted as the two let themselves in, nearly letting the little small collie-like dog escape.
"Watch out," Lorelai cautioned, catching the dog by its collar, and picked it up where it licked her neck.
"Well this is a nice surprise," Rory replied. It was good to see her mother happy again.
"What's his name?" Em asked.
"It's a girl - but the name is Robin," Lorelai explained.
"And you're Batman?" Rory eyed at her mother with a hint of scepticism. But all in all she was just glad she had someone to focus on now - she'd been worried about her. But she did suppose that in the case of a dog a few weeks, a month, was ample time to consider another go. For a moment she did ponder how similar losing a pet was to losing a pregnancy.
"Hey, beats me - the name came to me in my sleep, you never mess with names that come in my sleep," Lorelai continued and let the dog down. The sable and white dog took a instant liking to Em, which was a relief considering the sad conversation they'd just had again in the car.
"So where's Luke?" Rory inquired as she hung up hers an Em's coats.
"He needed to go pick something up from the diner, he'll be back in a minute," Lorelai explained. The kitchen was already filled with a delicious scent of stuffed peppers and roast pork with apples, already making Rory's mouth water. They'd driven over straight after school this Friday, so it was no wonder they were both starving.
They talked about this and that - town business, work and a little about what Em had been up to, while Rory's mind was mostly concerned about how handing Em over to Jess would go that night. There had been utter and complete radio silence from his end, and she'd only texted him that she was bringing her to Stars Hollow herself. But there hadn't been so much as a word back. Not even a 'like'. It was scary, truth be told.
It was then Luke arrived, carrying a bag of takeaway. He'd brought pie, making all of the three Gilmores smile broadly.
"Oh, Jess just said he has to drive to New Haven to pick something up, so he might not be back by the time we're done. He just suggested Em can wait for him here," Luke explained, as they all headed for the kitchen after Luke's invite to the table.
"Right," Rory responded unenthusiastically, most likely making a dissapointed face.
"What?" Lorelai asked her quietly, as Em was washing her hands for a minute.
"We had a fight. I think he's avoiding me," Rory replied, as Luke was momentarily out of earshot as well.
"About what?" Lorelai continued to whisper.
"Logan," Rory knew that they had only seconds to discuss this.
"You told him? Already!?" Lorelai exclaimed, not minding Luke's presence. She was all about honesty being a good policy, but this seemed a little too soon even for her.
"It didn't do it well, clearly - he was really mad," Rory replied, showing her concern.
"Who's really mad?" Luke asked innocently, as he returned to the kitchen.
It was in that moment that Em emerged from the bathroom, having sprayed her shirt with water by accident. The tap was a little tricky downstairs.
"Oh, honey, I think we have a spare shirt around here somewhere," Lorelai said, and took the girl along to get another shirt from upstairs, having seen one in the laundry from the last time she'd been over.
"Jess is mad at me, because I told him I'm seeing someone...," Rory exhaled, explaining things to Luke.
"He didn't sound mad," Luke replied, innocently.
"He was, he was really mad," Rory emphasized.
"I'm sure he'll get over it," Luke commented. While he had never really been the one to agree with the two of them breaking up, he didn't know all the details and it had taken Lorelai a while to explain things to him without going into too many details. But he had by now accepted it.
"I wish I was as confident. I just hope it doesn't get ugly," Rory worried, knowing that if anyone knew about toxic co-parenting it would be Luke.
"There must've been more to it in that case. I cannot imagine him believing that you'd never date or move on…," Luke continued.
"Well there is," Rory began with a sigh, glancing towards the living room, hoping Em wouldn't be back so soon. "The person I'm seeing is Logan and I think what really stung him was that I'm putting more work into Logan than I put into him and me. But there are just things he doesn't know and I just need to do this… I get that he's hurt and I get that I am not the best when it comes to conveying such news. I'm sorry I hurt him, but god, I just hope Em won't get hurt in the process," Rory said, speaking quickly.
"Wow…," Luke exhaled just as Lorelai and Em returned, Em having put on a clean shirt, leaving Luke with little to respond with.
The dinner conversation was definitely forced, Lorelai keeping up most of it while Luke just seemed deep in thought, and Rory observed him carefully. She was aware that she'd just put him in a very difficult position. Jess was his nephew and his best interest and happiness was important to him, but so was Rory's. Rory knew nobody in this household was a huge fan of Logan's which she felt was essentially leaving her in a weaker position. Maybe they would think she was the one rushing into things or acting irrationally?
After being stuffed with all the savory goodness, Em insisted on going to play with Robin, and Luke agreed to go with them to play outside for a bit, leaving the two women at the dinner table. This usually meant that they just kept snacking on whatever was left on the table.
"Mom, I wanted to tell you something," Rory began.
"What?" she asked.
"I've talked with Logan a lot, and I realized you don't know everything that there is to that story. I just really need you to know it because I feel I need someone on my side in this," Rory said, worriedly.
"I'll always be on your side, I can't say that about Logan though," she replied honestly.
"Well that's just the thing," Rory exhaled. "Logan had a pretend marriage, it wasn't real - it was just a partnership. And sure, he made mistakes - I did too - but what we had the last time - it was never cheating on his end. There's still a lot that we need to talk over, we're going to therapy together. We're taking things slow and really putting emphasis into being honest with each other," Rory explained. She knew that she was the one who was making, and had made, all the mistakes - she'd been the one cheating, she'd been the one insisting things to be casual, she'd been the poor communicator and so on. But she knew this much from therapy that she couldn't change any of what had happened.
"I don't know what do you want me to say?" Lorelai shrugged.
"I don't know - that you get why I need to try this?" Rory suggested.
"All I know is that you think you need to try this, and I'm not stopping you. It's your life. But what I keep seeing is that you keep being drawn to him, I can see it - and it's been such a long time, Rory. I think being with him has broken you enough.. I just want you to be careful," Lorelai assured. It wasn't anything Rory didn't already know.
"It seems so much simpler now, us two - we want the same thing, we want this to work out and we're willing to put into the work. But I just don't know where we stand in case Jess makes this into some huge vendetta - get lawyers involved, you know," Rory spoke, a slight glimmer of a teardrop appearing to the corner of her eye. She was really scared of this part.
Rory knew it wasn't the right way to think about it - but she felt like Em was more hers than Jess', even if simply saying this by the extent of time Em had spent with her instead of Jess throughout the years. She felt what Lorelai had felt with her - the two of them against the world. But Jess was no push-over like Christopher in that sense. She just didn't want this part of their relationship to change. She didn't want to lose Em and force Em to see two parents who didn't get along. She didn't want Em to hate Logan for it either, once things went that far.
"Well…," Lorelai began. "I don't know what Jess is thinking, but I think he is allowed to be hurt too," she added. "What you can do is make an effort, apologize a dozen times if you have to," she added. "Don't rub it in more than you absolutely have to," she continued.
It all made sense to Rory. Why couldn't she just have kept her mouth shut about the details? Say that she was going to therapy for herself? It would've been so easy. But she just didn't know how else to make Jess see that they were through, really through. Would there even have been a way to do that without hurting him?
