HEARTS DIVIDED: I Love You
by tarskeewee08
Evangeline smiled her body ached in the familiar way reminding her of the passion from the night before. She rolled over and opened her eyes. He wasn't in the bed with her. She sat up and looked around and didn't see him.
"John?"
Not hearing him she laid back down. Hugging herself on top of the sheets she looked up at the ceiling. Last night was magical for her. He was everything she could've hoped for and he woke her up several times through the night to make love to her over and over. She'd never been insatiable to a man. Kevin loved her but he never commanded or demanded her body like this.
She turned her head staring across the room. Her eyes traveled back to the sheets and she saw a dark red rose petal. Picking it up she fingered the soft velvety petal and smiled at the image of how they were all over the bed last night. She was falling in love with someone all over again and it felt strange. Love was dangerous for her she couldn't survive another heartache. Maybe they could manage to keep it all in perspective. God she hoped so even she felt her heart slipping toward him with every passing moment.
"Morning Beautiful" John
said pushing open the door with a tray.
Evangeline sat up on the
pillows and smiled "What's this?"
He came in and placed the
tray on her lap "Room Service"
Her breakfast consisted of
sliced melons, pineapples, kiwi, strawberries and mango. He had
coffee and buttered toast. She looked at him surprised. "Did you do
this?"
He plopped down next to her popping a strawberry in his mouth grinning. "I can't cook so this is best I could do."
She picked up another strawberry and fed it to him. "Well looks like you did just wonderful."
He looked at her then picked up a cube of pineapple running it slowly against her lips before feeding it to her. She took his fingers in her mouth with her tongue. Chewing she smiled "Thank you"
"Wow….let me give you another one"
He fed her another one and this time after she accepted it he kissed her hitting the tray and making the contents spill. They both laughed and she swallowed the fruit.
"Have you called to check on KJ yet?" she asked Picking up the few slices of fruit that spilled over onto the sheets.
"No
he's okay."
She looked up and frowned "Call John, please. I
need to know he woke up okay. He's never woke up without me there."
He saw her anxiety and smiled "Okay.." getting up he went to pants and get his phone calling his mom.
"Hey mom"
"Hey
John"
"How's KJ?"
"Fine….he's been up with Jason
playing all morning. Didn't know he got up at 5 am."
John
looked at Evangeline who was waiting impatiently and nodded that he
was okay. "Yeah…forgot to tell you that. Did he have a problem
with us not being there?"
"He whined a bit but that pacifier
is a big comfort to him."
"Yeah it is."
"Well we will
be there around noon to pick him up. I'm taking them to the beach
today"
"That's fine I'll have lunch for you."
"Thanks
mom bye"
"Bye"
Evangeline held her breath waiting for
news on her baby. John came over to the bed smiling taking the tray
away. "John…what did she say?"
"He's fine, was cranky
this morning but he's playing with his cousin and having a great
time"
He put the tray down and climbed back on bed "Now
where were we?"
Leaning back she smiled. "I think we were
about here" she said slipping her hand to his butt and squeezing
it.
He smiled and pulled her sheet down revealing her breast then lowering his face to them kissing and licking them lovingly. She ran her fingers through his hair as he sucked and pulled at her.
Pulling away her sheets he positioned himself between her legs again dragging her down underneath him. Bringing his face back up to her neck he showered it with kissing and love bites. She moaned feeling him slide into her effortlessly. Her body now well adjusted to him. She held onto him while he made love to her again in his signature way and she thanked god again for sending her this man. She had to believe there were greater forces at work. He slid in and out of her and his panting in her ear was hypnotic. The more she heard it the more she wanted him. Everything about him she craved.
Feeling his back flex with the muscles as he arched it under her hands she smiled at the power and strength of his body. Being his arms was the most the protective feeling she'd ever experienced and though he was stronger ravenous in the way he controlled her body he was also extremely gentle and loving.
Licking her lips she groaned as he drove himself deeper inside of her. Panting she fought to breathe as the pleasure and pain of his drilling her intensely and nibbling her neck made her stomach clench and inside of her thighs shake.
Then he said something that stopped her heart. Opening her eyes as he kept pushing into her she thought maybe her mind was playing tricks on her.
"I love you" he said again more hoarsely and her blood ran cold. He couldn't have said that. But he did. It's not possible yet, Or is it? She was a woman of logic and the wheel in her head started spinning as it tried to work around what he said. He loves me? Are we there now. Is this it? I want him. Oh god I need him so badly but Love. The last man she loved left her shattered by leaving her. What if he went back to work and was killed. What if he got hit by a bus tomorrow? What if he died in a plane crash? She tensed and her heart beat fast. NO! She couldn't do the Love thing it hurt to bad she wouldn't survive another loss. She couldn't survive it.
He didn't notice her change in their love making and kept on with his need for her. She closed her eyes and forced the words from her head. She wouldn't deal with that yet. She would deal with the moment. Feeling him grip her tighter and shake on top of her she knew he was about to explode and she relaxed as he unleashed inside of her. Once done he collapsed on top of her. Kissing her face he pulled out and rolled over.
He reached for her and lay on his chest replaying what he said during their lovemaking. Listening to his heart beat fast in his chest she told herself that he didn't say it.
Stroking her back he smiled at their love making. His biggest fault all his life is when he fell he fell hard. Kelly could testify to the relentless way he pursued her after only one day. Truth be told he was in love with her the day he met her. Now he knew it was true. He was in love with Evangeline. He loved everything he knew about her and everything he didn't. After Kelly he was sure it wouldn't happen again. He had turned his loss into a bitterness that kept women at bay.
But his defenses were down now and he knew what he wanted. He also knew who he wanted.
"I love you" he said again smiling, waiting for her to respond. She said nothing "Did you hear me Van?"
Lifting her head she looked at him with tears in her eyes. "Why did you have to say that?"
He let her go and saw the pain on her face "What?"
"You love me? John we take a step forward and you run ahead of me every time. Can we just grow and learn from each other before we start confessing undying love to each other?"
John sat up "What is wrong with me expressing my feelings as I become aware of them?"
"Nothing….but Love, how is it possible you can use a word like that with…."
"With what?" he snapped narrowing his eyes on her "With my wife?"
She rolled her eyes "John…that's not what I mean…We are working to know each other."
"Why are things so clinical with you? Why does it have to meet a timeline?"
"What does that mean?" she snapped pulling the sheet up over body.
"Everything. Your deciding to have KJ at the selected time. Your deciding to grieve for a certain time. Your deciding to marry me at a certain time."
"I lost someone John, I can't just forget that."
John shook his head. "You say that as if you were the only one. I loss someone too but I'm not going to live my life in a fog anymore. Don't you want to love again?"
Biting her lip she looked at him uncertain. "I can't fall in love overnight just because it feels right. It's not logical. It's not who I am."
"That's bullshit. You are just pushing me away because of your fear. You are closing off your heart to me to remain in control, to remain distant and unreachable!"
Evangeline blinked at him hurt "That's not what I'm doing."
"It is Evangeline. What you have with me is real. Not because of what's in here" he said touching her head. "But because of what's in here" he said touching her heart.
Evangeline saw his pain and softened. She didn't mean to hurt him and she felt horrible that she did. Reaching she touched his face. "I'm sorry John, I don't want to hurt you. I guess you're right, it's all based on my fears of you hurting me. Promise me you won't give up on me. Promise to remain patient."
He kissed the inside of her palm pressing her hand to his face. "You are a magnificent woman Evangeline. Why you don't know that is beyond me. Men can easily fall for you within weeks."
She smiled "I'm glad that you have"
He kissed her forehead. "Get dressed lets go get our son and show him Atlantic City"
She smiled and got out of bed.
John watched her move around the room to gather her things and smiled. He would keep his promise nothing would tear them apart. They were a family and this family he would protect against the entire world if he had too.
After arriving at his moms they ate lunch and talked with her and his dad about the places they plan to see today. KJ cried, kicked and screamed when they took him with them. Evangeline couldn't believe how attached he was. John told her it was his time with kids his own age. It made a world of difference for a toddler. He rarely got to play with other kids at home.
Evangeline felt guilty and made a mental note to get him into some structured play time when they got back.
The first place they took him was to the Abescon Lighthouse.
She will never forget the way KJ tilted his head all the way back looking at the tall structure sucking his pacifier. They climbed the long stairwell upward and John had him on his shoulders as they went.
Evangeline followed and marveled at his strength but was reminded of their love making and the way he held her through the night, she said a grateful prayer to god for making him so strong.
Once at the top they saw the entire City and the water that surrounded it. It was breathtaking. KJ clapped his hands wildly at the view as John held him and pointed out different places he grew up. KJ looked at him confused and grinned. John laughed and continue to talk to him like he was 16 years old telling him where all the girls hung out.
Evangeline watched content. After leaving the lighthouse he took them to the Ocean Life Center Aquarium John rented a stroller in the shape of a big fish and strapped KJ inside. They stopped several times during their walk through the aquarium to view the tiger sharks, northern stingray, bluefish, weakfish, and kingfish. KJ was mesmerized and Evangeline held John's free hand as he pushed his son's stroller with his other.
They went to the touch tank and the staff there put horseshoes, hermit and spider crabs, sea urchins and a star fish in KJ's hands as Evangeline took pictures with the disposable camera she bought when they arrived. KJ smiled and let the little creatures crawl around his hand. John grinned at how brave and curious he was.
Taking him to the bathroom and changing him. They decided to head back to the beach house and lounge on the beach. When they arrived John took KJ to change and Evangeline put on her bikini getting a large blanket and a cooler with drinks and beer for him.
Once out on the beach behind the house. She laid out the blanket relaxing on top watching John take her baby to the shore. When the water hit his feet he squealed and ran back up toward her. John grabbed him and took him further in as Evangeline watched frightened by how far they were, even though the water stopped at John's thigh, her baby was small she couldn't help it.
The day faded into a cool afternoon and soon they were building sandcastles as she fell asleep in the warm comforting evening sun. Before drifting away she smiled at how happy she was. It couldn't get any more perfect than this. She loved him too.
