Napoleon the Ham
By: Ericka aka "Kit-ten"
Chapter 1
It was another day. Another morning, another afternoon, another evening…A day in the life of Napoleon Dynamite. Napoleon awoke at 5:30 am. Ready to start another kickin' day at work.
long sigh
"GOSH I gotta get up again!" He stumbled out of bed and managed to make it to the bathroom to have a good wiz…and then to wash his hands…..then shortly after to brush his teeth. After that, he went back to his room to start putting his clothes on. A bright fire engine red shirt complete with old dirty ass black pants...Long sigh
It was getting close to 5:45…he had to be there by 6.
"I'll never make it if I don't go now!" He yelled to no one in particular…except maybe for himself. After sitting and thinking for a second about absolutely nothing, he made a bee line for the door and sprinted down the street eager to make it in time for his shift. Rosemary would give him HELL if he wasn't there by 6am SHARP! He was getting out of breath while he was running…why he didn't take his bike, we'll never know. The atrocious BRIGHT yellow arch was coming into view. He runs up to the door only to find it locked.
"Open the door!" in his annoying low key voice. The one girl Ericka looked at him pitifully. Like she always did. Finally after watching him yell through the glass, she decided her entertainment for the morning was up and finally unlocked the door for him. He ran in.
"Gosh I was here on time!" She snickers and proceeds to go back to the front counter.
long sigh AGAIN
"Napoleon GET IN THE BACK!" Rosemary yells from her cave. Oh yeah we forgot to mention. Napoleon gave his boss Rosemary the nickname Maleficent. Because she's an annoying bitch. That is all…back to the story…
He obeys and walks to back cash. Where he only goes EVERY MORNING for drive thru. He looks for the headsets. long sigh
"Why isn't there any headsets ever back here GOSH?" He yells.
"Napoleon you know we keep them in that bin." She says from her den. She gets up and slinks over to him. Pulls out a tethered looking black block of crap.
"Hurry up put it on! You have a customer it might be JOE!" Joe was the boss of Mcdonalds, and her lover….who abuses her and treats her like shit…but meh Napoleon didn't care. He presses the button down to speak.
"Hello…can I take your order?" Low key Napoleon voice.
The customer doesn't hear anything.
"Hello? Hello? Is anyone there? I'd like a number 2 with an Oj please." long sigh
"CAN I FRIGGIN HELP YOU?" Napoleon yells again. The customer gets pissed and pulls up. loooooooooooong sigh He opens the door.
"Yes?"
"I said my order! Why didn't you hear me?" The angry customer says. Napoleon recognized him at once. HE CAME THROUGH EVERY MORNING! He was about in his 70's at least, in a crappy station wagon from the 80's.
"Sorry the headset's not working."
"Well I want a number 2 with an Oj please." Napoleon rings it up.
"4.25" He says rather rudely. The old man hands him a 5 and glares at him. He didn't' like Napoleon very much. He gets his change back and storms off to the next window where he's greeted by an oriental woman of older age. Long sigh
"I hate that guy!" Napoleon yells to himself. He stands in his sad lonely drive thru box for a second too long cause the next thing he knows he's getting yelled at by Maleficent.
"Find something to do NAPOLEON!
"GOSH!"
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Well what do u think? Would you want to read more? LET ME KNOW! Cause at the moment I'm bored at work and I have nothing else to do!
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