Chapter 50
April 11th, 2020
"Life isn't all that bad right now," Rory exhaled peacefully, as she and Paris leaned back on a wide double recliner on the poolside of Orlando World Center Marriott. It was spring break, and the only mechanism they'd fought the masses, wanting to get their kids to Disney World and to a decent hotel that week had involved massive planning, using inside contacts, and paying through the nose.
It actually seemed kind of worth it. Kids were happy and exhausted, the two mother's just the same.
Rory sipped her rosemary lemonade, pushing her sunglasses up her nose, as she glanced around the poolside, fake waterfalls creating a peasant wooshing of the water in the background.
Paris had figured it'd probably be the last time her kids even took an interest in Disney, and it was likely also the last time they could do this together. Paris needed someone like Rory by her side to do this kind of thing - she needed a guide to having fun and letting go almost as much as Rory needed her to pull her out of her shell, make sure she didn't get ripped off or went uninformed about any of the dangers of pool-side holiday. But it was exactly what both of them had signed up for.
Em napped deeply between them, the recliner neatly hidden by the sunshade, as Rory and Paris took turns keeping track of the twins.
"I told you you needed it," Paris couldn't really hold her tongue.
"I never disagreed," Rory shot back.
Despite some friendly bickering, it was a peaceful afternoon, and after a day and a half already at Disney, they both were very happy doing very little, especially now that Em slept and the twins were already at a pretty self-sufficient age and good swimmers, and only really needed a distant lookout to keep track of their activities, their biggest issue being getting into arguments with each other.
"So how does it feel being in the house all by yourself?" Paris asked, but before waiting for her to respond shared her own experiences, "I first didn't know whether to laugh or cry, it was so freeing to just wear whatever I wanted, eat whatever I wanted without someone making commentary, but then I just missed the breakfast talk, you know - politics, world affairs - stuff you can't talk to 8-year-old about, nor to Doyle the past couple of years before that come to think of it," she added.
"Calm," Rory sighed in response. "I've definitely been less anxious. But I've had a lot of work to do. Chilton really isn't very easy on the teachers either. Come to think of it - being a student there was like a walk in the park except now I get to set the deadlines," Rory explained.
"Have you had a chance to…you know," Paris said, glancing down at Em to make sure the girl was asleep, but made the question pretty self explanatory.
Jess had begun the move out of the house already last summer, but for quite some time that had simply meant that he'd slept downstairs on the couch, and been away for work a little more, having had now also the Apparatus Bay to get up and running. And as the plan had been to set the place up for housing him upstairs, Rory hadn't bothered rushing things, both for Em's sake and for the sake of being a decent human being. She really hadn't thought Jess should just rent a place while all his money was going into fixing up the shop. So he had, in fact, stayed until Christmas, Rory having only really had the place entirely to herself for the past four months or so.
Rory rolled her eyes at Paris.
"Yes," Rory whispered, really not feeling like discussing her sexlife in the presence of Em, even if she was fast asleep. She wasn't even lying. But she didn't really feel like it was something to brag about.
Frankly, the whole experience - and not with just one but two guys she'd met at various events - had left her disappointed and almost thinking she was either ruined or had unrealistic expectations. Either way, she'd chosen to avoid casual hookups from there on, not expecting the third guy to be any better, and bought a pricey vibrator instead. It was less embarrassing in their age almost, and didn't ask questions or second dates.
"Anyone fun?" Paris asked as if in part living through her.
Paris had her own very good scheme of making sure she was satisfied, having a few hookup buddies in Manhattan, but she was very firm to make sure buddies were all that those relationships would ever be. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, she was still, several years later, pretty hurt about what had happened with Doyle. It had felt like someone had just changed the rules of the game overnight. She hadn't gotten over it fully to let her fall for anyone. It was kind of sad, but Paris had a good set of coping mechanisms.
"One guy was pretty hot, sort of Justin Hartley-type, but you know… small…, ahem...," Rory coughed, while demonstrating the size of the man's penis with her fingers, seeing that Paris only really meant well and wanted in return to be a little entertained.
"Oh I know the type, alright. It's like buying a Porsche and only discovering it only goes 40 mph," Paris commented.
Rory chuckled.
"Now here we are, two divorcees… at least we have the option for our own time unlike single moms," Paris exhaled.
"Hey, speak for yourself. I never married, I can still be a spinster. I think it has a certain ring to it, actually - I can just imagine myself in an Emily Brontë novel," Rory laughed, pretending to be proud about it.
"I'd rather suggest you read Alias Grace another time, recall what happened to women who had children out of wedlock," Paris replied bluntly, and the two continued their literary banter for a while.
"Hey, why did you never marry him? I am not sure I've asked," Paris asked after several minutes.
Rory sighed. "I guess it never felt like I really wanted to. I love him, but… I love him like the father of my child, a close friend… it's like my mother said once - I never wanted to try on that wedding dress when I thought of him," Rory replied, speaking quietly.
November 12th, 2021
That Friday night dinner had been a little different. Sure, Lorelai and Luke had been over, but so had Paris.
Rory wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not that it hadn't really been the setting to ask Luke what Rory really wanted to ask him. It might have even come out with the wrong tonality considering that the custody issue was still somewhat of a sore topic for Rory. She wanted to know whether it had been him who had talked to Jess about demanding what he had. But she knew that no good would come of it, and hence it was good to have Paris around to keep the topics more casual. Besides, Luke was always a little terrified of Paris, which was kind of good, if he did hava his fault in all of this, despite having probably meant well. But either way she didn't want to make Luke pick sides. It couldn't go that far. She couldn't let it go that far.
So sooner, rather than later, Lorelai and Luke had made their exits that night, leaving Rory, Paris and Em enjoying each-other's company instead. It was the perfect moment for a movie night and the three of them watched Peter Rabbit until Em dozed off.
"Wine?" Rory asked Paris when she returned from putting Em to bed, deciding to make a detour to the kitchen for some more popcorn.
"Half a glass," Paris replied, being in the middle of choosing another movie for them to watch. Something made for grownups.
Rory returned, having poured a generous half a glass for Paris. It was not like she was going to drive anywhere, but was spend the night. They did this a few times a year, sometimes in the City, sometimes here, but usually preferring to do it when both were child free.
While Rory also still had Lane in her life, her connection to Paris was deeper, more constructive. Lane was always there when she needed her, but mentally she connected better with Paris, and she couldn't help it. They balanced each-other out.
"So what did you choose?" Rory asked as she slouched down on the couch next to her, handing her the wine, and stuffed a handful of popcorn in her mouth.
Paris made a mild grimace at her definition of 'half a glass', but let it slide. It was rather about her feeling the signs of aging by ending up with a headache in the morning whenever she had a little too much, which was way less than would've caused the same effect on her ten years ago.
"The Starling was supposed to be good," Paris suggested.
"It is, but I saw that recently," Rory replied.
"Now, we're definitely not going to watch the Holidate, because I can already tell you exactly what happens…," Paris began, and continued to complain that most of the movies these days were too predictable and it was people like Doyle who were to blame for it.
"Let's just choose a modern classic then," Rory suggested and Paris didn't really argue as she just grabbed the reins and pressed play on Lost in Translation. It really wasn't a good movie for late night watching, having a sleepy feel to it. But they weren't really watching a movie together for the movie, it was rather about just hanging out.
About halfway through the movie and a little this and that, Rory felt she needed to crack the lid of the secret she'd kept from Paris.
"I'm seeing someone," Rory barely managed to make you, but Paris could tell that besides the excitement that Rory had in her face, there was also apprehension.
"It's not that Finn guy is it? Because then I might seriously consider having you admitted," Paris snorted, having been aware that she'd brought Finn over to her house that one time and raided her bar.
"No, but I think you might be just as annoyed at who it is," Rory said, knowing there was bound to be a reaction.
"Don't tell me you're getting back with Jess!" Paris practically demanded.
"Nope, not what I was going to say," Rory replied.
"Well, who else is there… wait, no…," Paris exclaimed, putting her glass down. "You're the reason Logan left his family business and his pregnant wife?" she continued, making it clear she had been very much aware of everything going on with the man in London.
"Keep it down, you'll wake Em," Rory scolded her. "And not exactly. And not his baby," Rory felt she needed to explain.
"So it is him?" Paris stared at her eyes wide.
"Yes," Rory exhaled, adding, "and it's not just a casual thing. We're taking this very-very slow, like therapy slow. He's been living in one of my apartments for a few weeks now. He's had a rough couple of years, and I think for once we've started this with the right foot," Rory explained, speakin quickly, not needing to add that she'd had a few rough years herself. She felt strange, almost needing to defend herself, but Paris' calm response was not quite what she'd expected. She continued to explain how it had been a pretend marriage and how there had been a whole lot of miscommunication on both ends.
"Wow..," Paris commented in disbelief and nodded slowly, taking it all in. She knew better than to actually scold her. Rory wouldn't have done that to her if the guy had, in fact, been Doyle in her case which was the closest comparion there was.
"And how does Jess feel about this?" was Paris' next, very perspective, question.
"Oh he's over the moon about it, as you can imagine," Rory replied sarcastically.
"Got his thorns up and everything, eh?" Paris asked.
"He wants to define our custody agreement. For two and a half years he's had no interest in it and now, when I'm seeing Logan, he suddenly needs it. You should've heard the way he spoke to me," Rory explained, shaking her head. What had happened in one day since she'd been to the therapist with Logan and that night was quite miraculous really. She'd gone from feeling like she'd deserved what Jess had said to feeling like Jess was overcompensating about something if he spoke like that. She knew him that well, she'd just forgotten how this type of mental agressiveness was his coping mechanism. It had been so in the past as well.
"Well… my guess he's just scared she'll call Logan 'daddy'," Paris commented plainly, and continued to explain how she'd had a similar worry with Doyle's wife. Thankfully her kids seemed to have better taste than their father.
Rory shrugged, taking in Paris' valid point.
"But if you do end up going to mediation or court, which I hope you won't," Paris began. "You should definitely start by making a list of all the things you've done with her, and roughly maybe even going back to look at the time spend at each household, expences, the quality of that time. Like weekends are quality time, while workdays rarely are. So one might think a day is a day, but it really isn't if you're stuck at work all day. With a good lawyer you should have no trouble proving that nor that you've put a lot more money into raising her. It would be wise to communicate the same point without the lawyers," Paris continued.
"I actually saw a lawyer already, and he said roughly the same thing. Though I just wish I'd been to see her when I was more level headed. The way Jess spoke to me just shut me down completely. I went down the rabbit hole of believing I actually deserved that... And I just… it just makes me so mad that he's so insecure that he chose that way to do that. And that was after I'd just offered him to take Em for a few extra days so I could go to therapy with Logan," Rory explained. "But I know that was a bad way to start that discussion, I know… that was my fault," she added.
"So you put everything on paper. Send your suggestion to him in writing, make logical arguments and so on… You are both better on paper, you both know that. You wait at least a day before you respond, and another before you press send, to make sure you're not writing anything in the heat of the moment," Paris suggested.
As writing form was also what Jess had recommended, Rory began to think that he hadn't been very smart himself by having spoken his request and not written them. This was actually making her think that he hadn't been to a lawyer yet. It seemed something one might have just put together based on something one read or heard, not actual legal advice.
They went on about this for a while, Paris sharing her own positive and some less positive experiences. This was the bright side in this - Rory actually had people on her side too, people who knew very well how to do this if it came to it. Hearing Paris speak like that felt truly empowering in fact. It was just what Rory needed to not fully get over feel like a victim.
As the movie ended and Rory set up the pull out couch for Paris, Rory made her way upstairs, checked briefly on Em, lingering for a few seconds to admire her sweet face, before going into her room.
She tucked herself into her blanket on her side, but didn't feel quite like going asleep yet. Her phone already had a received 'good night' message from Logan from a few minutes ago.
"I totally overreacted yesterday. Bottling those emotions up wasn't a good move. I'm sorry," she typed and sent to Logan, feeling embarrassed of her breakdown in the car. It wasn't that bad, it was 50-50 at worst, nothing like Luke had been threatened with years ago for example, not across the country. She would be okay.
"It's okay, you feel what you feel," Logan responded quicker than she'd expected.
"Paris talked some sense into me. She's staying the night," Rory explained.
"I told her about you too," she added.
"Do I want to know what she thinks?" Logan replied.
"She actually didn't say all that much about you. Sort of just accepted it, I guess," Rory replied, beginning to ponder indeed whether her reaction being so mellow was a good thing. Maybe she indeed didn't think it was a bad idea? Or maybe she thought it was the worst idea and hence kept her words to herself? No - Paris never did the latter, hence the pondering actually left Rory with a pretty good feeling.
Maybe they were just past things like that?
"I feel honored," Logan replied, and Rory could swear she could almost hear his low chuckle on the other side of that screen.
"I think this Jess thing is going to be okay, I just have to stay calm about it," Rory typed.
"I think so too," Logan replied, hoping he was not overstepping by having an opinion on something between Rory and Jess and their daughter.
"I hate that I am the cause of it though… even if indirectly," Logan added, based on what they'd talked about in therapy the night before.
"I think the reaction would have been the same had it been Seth or anyone else just the same. You're just the the salt to sprinkle on the already bleeding wound," she added, dramatically.
"Seth - yuck!" Logan responded, unable to hold back that even looking back he was feeling pretty jealous of the fact that Rory had actually considered him as dating-material.
Rory sent back an emoji with the tongue out, knowing well what he meant.
"Would it still be okay if we came with you to Honor's on Sunday?" Rory then decided to type, taking a deep breath. She did want Em to have a fun day, and she did want to see Honor and Logan herself. It was even within the state lines, thinking of Jess' request. Not every time she saw Logan needed to be about the physical, and maybe showing Em what good friends they were, was actually a good, slow, beginning.
