Chapter 57
November 16th, 2021
As Em had craved egg rolls, Rory had gone with the Black Bamboo this time, making sure there'd be some vegetarian options for Logan as well. It was not like she couldn't eat them too, it usually just wasn't her first choice. Even she theoretically needed to look after what she ate a little to avoid having for example cholesterol problems even if whatever she ate hardly shook the weight or shape of her body.
With the order placed, Rory headed upstairs to shower and to change out of her work clothes. Em wandered along, deciding to hang out on her mom's bed while she got ready. She liked to watch her get ready, and even though Rory wasn't really going anywhere, she gave off that same feeling as if going on a date, and even the 4-year-old could tell something was up.
But as Rory emerged, towel drying her hair, while wrapped in her robe, Em surprised Rory with a very straightforward question.
"Is Logan your boyfriend?" Em asked, as if asking something as everyday as what was for dinner.
One might have wondered where she could even know such a concept, but the kids in her class talked - she wasn't the only one whose the parents weren't together, and since a lot of the kids were older than her, words like 'boyfriend' were thrown around a lot more.
It took Rory a moment to gather herself and take a deep breath before responding.
"How would you feel if he was?" Rory asked, and took a seat next to her on the bed.
"He's okay," Em replied with an indifferent shrug.
"I was going to talk to you about this actually - tonight maybe even, but you are such a clever little girl…," Rory replied, tickling her a bit from underneath her soles lightly.
But there was still something on the girl's mind, Rory could tell. She was definitely not jumping from joy at this piece of news despite having said 'he was okay'.
"Anything you're worried about? Upset?" Rory inquired, tugging her slightly from her big toe. "You can tell me, you can always tell me," she assured.
"What will happen to daddy?" Em asked with genuine concern in her face.
"Daddy will still be your daddy. He's still important to me too," Rory confirmed. "Daddy was actually asking if he could spend a little more time with you during the holidays if that's okay with you, he might even bring you to school on some Mondays" Rory added.
How she'd made that statement made her a little worried whether that was manipulation through the kid though - what if Em didn't want holidays with Jess like Jess had requested. Would he take her by force? They'd never had to do anything concerning custody against Em's will before. They'd been that flexible.
"Is it because you want to spend more time with Logan?" Em asked.
"Oh - no-no-no," Rory replied, seeing how this could take a very wrong turn. "They just happen to happen at the same time. I don't want you to be away more, that's so not it. If I could I would have all my holidays with you, all of my weekends," Rory assured. Sure, there was some fibbin in that - her own time was important too, and if it hadn't been Jess she would just resort to a nanny or Lorelai more, but she loved her to bits and making sure she knew that was a priority. "I love having you around, and I love you. It's just that... grownups also need to have friends their own age, you know. Someone that's special to them in a different way - like grandma has Luke or Lane has Zach," Rory explained, but was pretty sure it was a little too complicated for Em to fully grasp.
"And the reason I invited Logan over is so you could get to know him a little too. But you can always tell me if there's something you don't like, or if you'd rather just spend the evening with me," Rory added.
"We already ordered the food," the kid replied, sounding again almost like a practical old preson. But the way that she'd said it left Rory with not the best feeling. She didn't want to tell Logan to not come, but she realized that she'd have to tread very carefully here.
Rory was desperate for the kid to want to hang out with Logan.
"I promise, we'll do something together tomorrow, just the two of us, okay?" Rory assured, and offered a hug to Em. "I love you, I will always love you" she assured, hoping that was enough. In the back of her head she was already slightly panicking about how she was going to get her prep work done if she took Em to the movies or out for ice cream tomorrow evening, having already postponed her prepwork by a few nights. She'd just have to do it between classes and during her lunch hour. Or she could do a late-nighter. She'd probably have to. This balancing thing was hard.
She needed Em to be on board and assured that she was loved even if it took her away from some sleep hours. Besides, this weekend Em would be at Jess' cutting their quality time short as it was.
Rory knowingly put a lot less effort into getting ready than she perhaps would've wanted to, as Em watched her get ready. She opted for leggings and a T-shirt that hugged her curves a little more than some that she had, but that was about it - she wanted Em to see that this was just a normal evening, and not see how badly she wanted to look her best for Logan.
So much for a relaxed, stress-free, evening.
Logan arrived, almost as if having timed his arrival according to the Doordash guy.
"Hey," Logan said, as he saw Rory at the door.
"She knows, and she's… sceptical. I'm a little worried," Rory whispered, unable to even say a proper 'hi' in the panic mode she was in. There were already scenarios of Em pouting and saying how mommy loved her less now because of this, and perhaps choosing her father's love over hers. She was just beginning to realize how difficult it might be to get the idea out of Em's head that Em spending more time with Jess in the future had nothing to do with Rory wanting more time with Logan. It had to do with Logan, but rather with Jess wanting Em to have less time with Logan if anything.
"Hey, Em," Logan said, noting the girl on the couch, curled up with one of her dolls.
"Hi," Em replied, not really looking at him.
It wasn't completely icy, but not lukewarm either.
"I brought cupcakes for dessert," Logan declared. He knew this was bribery essentially, he could swear that while the girl didn't show it much, there was a slight reaction of excitement in her either way, giving him a glimmer of hope. He needed to caution himself not to push and take it step by step now. He was also quite surprised it had come up this soon, as Rory and him had only briefly discussed it until now. He was relieved in a way, but there was now definitely the added pressure to impress too.
"I sure hope you brought chocolate ones," Rory played along, knowing it was Em's favourite. She didn't like how this was going - it all felt like a charade now, instead of something she'd wanted to be so natural like Sunday had been.
Rory unloaded the take-away boxes onto the dinner table, and cleared up a few of Em's drawings in the process, Logan staying close by to help her - not that she really needed it.
"She guessed, she asked me - I was almost going to wait a bit. But it seems to be inherently bad timing as she linked more time with Jess to me not wanting her around as much. I did what I could… but..," Rory continued to explain in whisper, with a shrug.
Logan didn't like seeing her like that - stressed. Especially knowing his presence was the cause.
"I'll just eat and be out of here…," Logan suggested. He'd looked forward to this evening, but it just didn't seem the way to do it. He couldn't have the girl thinking he was stealing her mom away from her.
"I don't want that..," Rory said. She wanted him around. She wanted to eat, watch a movie, maybe even snuggle a bit after Em had gone to bed. Was that really too much to ask? She wanted to talk to another human being in person about things - the custody things, work things, and hear about his things - not just text with him before bed.
"Let's just see, okay?" Logan suggested.
Rory nodded, and took a deep sigh.
"Alright - I'll get the plates. Em, what do you want to drink? Logan?" Rory asked loudly, already heading for the kitchen.
"Juice, please," Em replied and made her way to the dinner table, taking the prominent end seat, that used to be Jess'.
"Water is fine," Logan said.
As Rory returned with a juice box and a bottle of mineral water under her arm, carrying three plates in her other hand, she definitely noticed Em's change of seats. Usually the girl preferred to sit closest to her on the side at the other end of the table, but as Logan had just been leaning on that chair, unknowingly it having become his seat during the couple of times he'd been over, she sensed another potential conflict.
"Could you get a couple of glasses, Logan," Rory said, gesturing towards the kitchen.
Rory did what sometimes worked in a classroom setting when there seemed to be some strange group dynamics happening. Usually this was something that might happen with freshmen, but that was all that she had to go on.
Rory opened the food containers one by one.
"Why don't you sit over there," Rory suggested to Logan as he returned, and took Em's usual seat, in front of which Logan had been standing before. This way Logan would sit between the two of them, but at least everyone was out of their normal seat.
Logan complied, not quite following the dinner table dynamics.
"So which one of these is your favourite? So I know not to hoard it all to myself," Logan decided to ask. He was usually pretty good with Honor's kids, even though his experience wasn't as constant as he would've liked. He needed to believe that by simply being friendly he could win her over.
"Egg rolls and the noodles that look like worms," Em replied.
Logan observed the dishes and decided the Mei Fun with what looked like chicken was probably what she'd meant. He placed the box closer to Em, as Rory aided him to do the same with the egg rolls after grabbing one for herself.
Rory also handed Logan the box with a 'V' marking, hinting that she'd thought of him.
"Thanks," he replied, trying to not look at her as lovingly as he perhaps would've wanted to. Below the table however, he was very aware of Rory's knee touching his thigh the way that she was sitting, but it had a good, almost calming, effect.
"So what's the school play going to be about?" Rory inquired from Em, having spend the drive back discussing what food to get instead.
"It's Santa's workshop, we're all going to be elves," Em shared.
"Did they tell you what costumes you're going to need?" Rory asked.
"No," Em replied.
"They left me and some other parents off the last mailing list so I was uninformed today that they were having a meeting after school," Rory explained to Logan, and made a mental note to write the teacher herself to make sure she wouldn't miss anything next time. She was going to either have to ask Lorelai to make the costume or shop for it now, not like last year when she'd been very late on the task, and eventually had had to ask Paris to go buy it in person and FedEx it to her from the City from a place that didn't ship.
"But I did run into someone I knew in high school so the wait wasn't that bad," Rory added, for a moment feeling awkward as she was having to carry the dinner conversation.
"Oh yeah?" Logan responded, after swallowing a bite of his Szechuan Eggplant.
"Yeah, he went to school with me and Paris. A bit of an annoying guy back then, but he seems to have turned out as a pretty okay guy," Rory commented.
"You know I actually knew quite a few guys from Chilton," Logan pitched in, leaving out that he'd known quite a few girls as well.
"You did?" Rory asked.
"Yeah, mostly probably those who were my age, but yeah," Logan replied and took another bite.
"I can't believe I didn't know that," Rory replied, but realized that perhaps she should've. West-Hartford wasn't a place that big. Even if Logan went to one boarding school after another, the kids from the same circles would still hang out in the summers, party together during holidays or knew each other from middle school or earlier.
"Glad to be able to still surprise you with something," Logan chuckled.
"Well his name is Tristan DuGray," Rory shared.
Logan almost choked on that name. "You knew DuGray?" he chuckled. "Oh, man..," he continued to laugh.
"Yes, he was there for two years while I was there. Paris had a gigantic crush on him," Rory commented, and laughed. She was actually strangely interested in telling him sometime that Tristan had had a crush on her too, there was some level of jealousy she'd always liked from Logan, the kind that activated him and made him put in some extra effort. It was not that he needed to do that at this point or that she was unimpressed - but at times she did long after that cocky college guy attitude, even if it was just in bed.
"We used to hang out all the time in the summers," Logan commented, but decided to leave the details at that, at least for the time being considering Em's presence.
"Right," Rory noted and nodded, and bit into her egg roll. "And Em - Tristan is Liam's dad, you know," Rory said to Em, wanting to engage her more in this conversation. "He's the new kid in your class, right?" she added.
"You know Liam's dad!?" Em asked in return like it was some big thing.
"Yeah, I went to high school with him," Rory explained, spelling it out for her in simpler terms.
"He's weird. He speaks Spanish and does this really weird thing in math class…," Em put it rather harshly.
"But speaking another language is good, isn't it? I bet they just had more Spanish speaking kids at his former school," Rory added, knowing Em didn't probably mean it in a bad way. It did make sense them having moved over from San Diego.
"I guess," Em replied, and slurped some noodles into her mouth.
"What was the weird thing in math class?" Logan asked, feeling genuinely curious.
Em got up and walked over to the shelf where they kept spare paper and returned with a sheet of paper and a pen.
"He like wrote the numbers up here," she began, writing a few random double-digit numbers with a multiplying sign between them. "And then he just started drawing lines and crossing them out. It was really weird," she explained, and draw an almost grid-like structure.
"I didn't know you did multiplications?" Rory asked in confusion. Sure simple 5+5 the girl could do, but this was something else. It wasn't even in their curriculum.
"I think I know what this is," Logan said, asking if he could take the paper from Em. "It's this Japanese multiplication method, it makes multiplying really easy," Logan continued. "I learned this once. Let me see if I can remember," he pondered, and began to draw a new grid next to what Em had drawn before without meaning.
Multiplication was a bit over Em's head still, even just the concept of it, but Logan did manage to demonstrate what Liam had been doing in class. "He's a very smart boy, just like I've learned you are a smart girl in reading and writing," Logan added, hoping a small compliment would ease things. Right now he wasn't at all sure where he stood. The Japanese math trick seemed to have at least opened some line of communication, but Em was surprisingly hard to read for him still.
"Can you show me that again?" Rory asked, being quite curious how Logan had managed to multiply 32 by 31 that easily.
They ate, multiplied and talked a little about school, until the three all felt stuffed.
"Can I have a cupcake now?" Em asked.
"Don't forget to ask nicely, Em," Rory looked at her crookedly.
"Please can I have a cupcake," she repeated her question, making puppy-dog eyes.
"Alright," Rory relented.
"It's a wonder you still have room for one," Logan exhaled and laughed in a friendly manner, feeling he himself needed to stretch a bit, not being used to eating like these girls. And Em was a humble eater compared to Rory, but similarly to Rory she seemed to always have room for dessert.
"You should've seen her at the End Of the Summer Madness last time," Rory recalled and continued to explain all the things the girl had had an appetite for, while Em ate her cupcake.
"So Em - what do you think - would it be okay if I stuck around for a little longer and watched a movie with you guys? I've really enjoyed your company," Logan said, knowing he was being more bolder than he probably should've been. But he just wanted to show the girl what kind of a person he was - he wasn't one to hide, not really - he was the straightforward guy. And he almost hoped that the girl would appreciate that.
"You can," Em said, though from the corner of her mouth. "But I pick," she bargained.
"Sure, you pick," Rory replied, desperately trying to hide the smile that was creeping onto her face. It wasn't the end of the difficult road, but it seemed to be that at least they'd crossed the first dangerous bridge.
It was strange watching a movie, an animation called Back to the Outback, like this with the three of them all sitting on that couch together, Em having positioned herself in the middle of them, and snuggled into her mother's side. Rory wasn't sure if that was purposeful, but at this point she didn't even mind. It was not like she was going to start cuddling or even showing any kind of physical interaction with Logan that evenign. She wasn't going to do that probably for a while yet, and it seemed to be something Logan understood, thankfully.
But they did exchange these little glances every now and again, both wondering what the girl was thinking.
They talked over the movie, just like they always did - Logan sharing some of his stories from the times when he'd visited Finn in Australia, what animals he'd seen and so on, which seemed to win him again some brownie points. Em might not have loved him, but she at least knew he came with stories and interesting skills - he was at least interesting to her, that he was sure of.
As the movie ended, Logan suggested it was time for him to leave, wanting it to be him to give them their space. Rory was actually a little sad about that, because she'd secretly hoped he'd hang around to cuddle a little bit longer, talk a little more, but she realized that it was best not to push the little step that they'd achieved here. Talking and cuddling would just have to wait.
She sent him off with a quick, but truly appreciative kiss, on the porch, out of Em's sight.
"Thanks for this," she said, not really wanting to let him go.
"Anytime," Logan assured.
It was only then she realized that Logan's car was nowhere in sight.
"No car?" Rory called after him.
"I like the walk," Logan replied, and walked off down the road with that signature look of his, craving to be with her more than was possible right now.
It was still a lot for Rory to get used to. Having him back in her life, seeing all the ways that he'd changed - both his struggles, him eating less meat, caring about other things more next to his orgasm, him having lived in London where people walked a lot which was likely influencing the current move too. She was hungry to know and understand him more. But slow was all she was getting right now, and she returned to Em in the living room, mentally fighting her craving for more.
