"What a disgusting feeling."
Asuka stared at the boy that was crying over her, with a mix of pity, disgust and sadness. But she made no motion to stop him.
After a few minutes, the boy's tears stopped falling, and she took that opportunity to lightly push him away and stand up, looking out at the red sea and the apocalyptic scene that surrounded them.
"Asuka, I... I."
She looked at him, indifferently. "Let me guess. You're sorry right? Did you want a body that badly to put in that tomb you built? Ha! That will never happen!"
"Tomb? What tomb?"
"Are you stupid? That memorial over there that you made. You even left Misato's cross nailed there."
"I... I didn't make that."
"What?"
"I didn't make that."
She stood up, grabbing the boy hard by the collar.
"What do you mean you didn't do it? Did anyone else survive? Did you see anyone else here? Who else was going to make a memorial for us?"
"I don't know, Asuka! I don't know! I just woke up! I thought I was still in that place until you..."
She let go of his collar, abruptly.
"What do you mean? I saw you lying there on the beach before I laid down here. And I'm sure those are your footprints!"
"I don't know Asuka... I don't know."
"Aaargh! Go to hell, you idiot!" - Asuka said, walking furiously in another direction, turning away from the boy.
"Asuka, wait!"
"Don't follow me! I don't want to see your face again."
Asuka continued walking for a few more minutes until her mind became confused. Ahead of her, several poles placed in the sand, forming a memorial identical to the one she had found before.
Driven by curiosity, she decided to climb the rocks to better analyze the structure.
A few minutes later, Shinji Ikari slowly approached the girl above the rocks, who was looking at the lower part of the beach.
"Hey... Asuka."
The girl slowly turned around, with a terrified look on her face.
"Shinji... what have they done to you?"
As the boy focused on his companion's face, he could barely notice the existence of about ten memorials identical to the previous one along the shore.
Shinji opened his eyes, startled. An unfamiliar ceiling.
As he tried to stand up, he noticed that his arms were tied together and began to scream for help. Fortunately help didn't take long to arrive.
A familiar redheaded girl opened the door to the room, approaching slowly and carefully touched the boy's face with her hand.
"Hey. Take it easy. Shinji, what's the last thing you remember?"
"I... I... I saw you... Unit 2... and then I..."
"Shhh... calm down. Yes, all that stuff happened, it was horrible, but it's over now. You managed to win and we are here alone, waiting for the others to come back too."
"Really? So hm..." - he nodded, heading toward his restrained arms.
"Oh, that? Well, you were having some very strange nightmares so it was necessary to tie you up. But don't worry, I'll get you out in a minute. Just try to stay away from my neck, okay?"
That caused the boy to lower his head again, covered in shame.
"Well! Today was a really productive work day for us, Shinji. We got some valuable supplies and completed the tasks we needed to ensure our survival for a few more weeks. Thank you for your hard work."
"Y-you are welcome, Asuka. Hm... what should we do now?"
Asuka looked at him, with a smile on her face.
"Well, you know... I guess I'm bored."
"Oh... so... you mean"- he blushed as old memories began to resurface in his head.
"Hey, Shinji. Do you like me?"
"E-eh? What... why are you asking me that?"
"Just answer the question. Do you like me?"
Shinji paused, trying to find the right words as he struggled to cover up his embarrassment and face the beautiful girl who was looking at him. After thinking for a while, analyzing all possible scenarios, he finally answered.
"Y-yes."
Asuka immediately gave him an angry look and rapidly closed the gap between them, making the boy shiver in fear and regret his words. Only to playfully fickle him on his forehead.
"Idiot! I already knew that!"
"But... but... but... how..." - the boy stammered, amused and half angry to see her chilly and mocking reaction to this important confession.
"Hey, hey... take it easy. I know it was hard for you to confess for the first time, but I've actually heard that same confession 28 times. Well, at least it's a good way to make sure you're telling the truth."
Shinji looked away, visibly annoyed.
"Hey, what's the matter, idiot?"
"Why haven't you told me this before? It may not be important to you, Asuka, but it is important to me. I..." - he was silenced by her index finger that gently touched his lips.
"Let me tell you something important too." Even though I've heard it a bunch of times"-she moved her lips toward his - "I still feel like it's the first time."
As they laid on the ground, cuddling, Asuka realized that the sun had already set and they would need to start making preparations for sleep.
"Hey Shinji... It's late. I... I'll need to tie your hands again, you know? For my safety and yours too."
The boy looked at her and nodded, with a sad smile.
"Asuka... when I wake up again... won't I remember any of this?"
She looked at him, gently stroking his cheek.
"Probably not. But don't worry, I'll make you remember. Just like I've been doing every day."
"But... how long will we have to live like this?"
"Are you stupid? For as long as it takes, of course."
"So? What were the results?" - Asuka said as soon as she heard the sound of the door opening.
Misato looked at her with a serious look and simply spoke. "Asuka, you'd better sit down."
Obviously, the girl refused the advice and kept her stance, arms crossed, with a frown that challenged her former guardian to continue her speech.
"Asuka... Ritsuko has done every test and examination possible, considering our limitations. But it is virtually certain that the damage done to his mind by the events of Third Impact is irreversible. His mind will remain stuck in that loop forever. His brain can no longer retain the new information. That's why every time he sleeps, he will lose those recent memories and think he is again living through the events of the day of Third Impact."
Asuka didn't show any reaction, other than clenching her fists slightly.
"Is that it? Then you've wasted your time! This diagnosis I had already made, alone, months ago while you were still at the bottom of that red sea. And we managed to survive anyway. It only takes a few minutes a day to make him understand his situation and then..."
"Asuka, stop!" - Misato said, raising her tone. "I know it's hard, but the sooner you stop deluding yourself the better. Look, you are simply outstanding. Not only did you manage to survive that hell, but you managed to take care of Shinji and make sure he survived until now without going crazy. What you've done for him is simply amazing, but there's no way to evolve any further than that. He is no longer a functional human being. His mind will no longer be able to keep up with reality in the world and all we can do is see to it that he has a survival within a controlled environment, just like..."
"Just like my mother?" - Asuka said angrily, causing the former major to take a step back. - "So what? I don't care. I'm not going to abandon him. Just like I would never abandon my mother if I had another chance. I'm not going to let you people do to him just like they did to her."
"Asuka... please try to understand. What's gonna happen down the line? Someday he's gonna wake up and look in the mirror and notice his face's aged ten years overnight. Imagine how sad and unfair it would be for you and for Shinji if in 14 or 15 years you became a grown woman and when you look at him you will know that he will continue to act like a 14-year-old child every day? Wouldn't it be very strange for you to continue to hold those feelings under those circumstances?"
"That's not... I..."
The conversation was interrupted by a knock on the reinforced glass that separated the waiting room from the exam room. Both women turned to see the image of Shinji who, with a sad look on his face, was showing a sheet of paper with a message written in simple kanji.
Asuka looked at the message, stunned, and then looked into the boy's eyes one last time before running out of the room, tears in her eyes.
Misato looked into Shinji's moistened eyes and sighed, with a look of sadness.
Asuka was waiting in the boarding line. Going back to Germany was not something she liked, but it was the best thing to do. Staying in Japan would bring back memories she would rather forget.
However, her thoughts were interrupted with a familiar voice that caught her attention.
"Asuka! Asuka!"
She turned around to see a breathless and panting Misato Katsuragi approaching.
"What do you want?"
"Asuka... you could have let me know you decided to go back to Germany. Why do you want to..."
"It's none of your business, Misato. Tell me, why did you come to see me? It certainly wasn't to say goodbye or anything of that sort."
Misato looked into the girl's cold eyes and pulled out of her purse a familiar device.
A SDAT.
Cautiously, Asuka took the object from the former major's hands, put the headphones in her ear and pressed the play button.
'- So, that's all for today, Shinji. Do you wish to say anything else?
- Yes, doctor. If you see Asuka... please tell her I'm sorry. For everything. And even if she hates me, I... I would like to see her again.'
The audio ended, and the device switched to track 02.
'- So, that's all for today Shinji. Nicely done.
- Doctor?
- Yes?
- If you see Asuka... please tell her I'm sorry. For everything. And even if she hates me, I... I would like to see her again.'
"What kind of sick joke is this, Misato?"
"Asuka... he says that every day. That he is sorry and wants to see you again."
"I understood that, I'm not dumb. I'm asking why you came here to show me this?"
"I... I don't know. I just thought you needed to know about it. It just breaks my heart to see him like that and..."
"And you decided to share this burden with me? Just to make you feel less guilty about your decision?" - Asuka said, turning her back on her former guardian and picking up her bag to go back on the line.
Misato lowered her head, embarrassed.
"Look Misato. It's useless. It's not your fault. It's not my fault. He made his decision. He decided to push me away because he felt it was preventing me from having a full and happy life."
The flight attendant was making the final boarding call.
Asuka turned her face and looked at Misato.
"And that's why he is and always will be an idiot!" - she said, breaking down in tears.
"Doesn't he see that being with him is the only way I can have a full and happy life?" - She said as Misato held her in a tight embrace.
Shinji opened his eyes, startled. An unfamiliar ceiling.
But something was different. A television connected in front of him was playing a video.
'Do you, Asuka Langley Sohryu, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband and to maintain, from this day forward, the life span of both of you?
- I do.
- I now pronounce you husband and wife.'
Asuka? She was beautiful and... older. And she was... getting married? But…
He began to shiver until he realized that a SDAT device was on the bedside table. Quickly, and by reflex, he reached for the device, hoping to escape this reality. Only to be again surprised by the sound he heard.
"Hello, my dear idiot! Calm down. This is not a dream. It is real. You managed to save us all from that hell. 14 years have passed since that day and even if your mind can't remember everything clearly, try to look around your room and see the life we built together. And when you are ready, put on some decent clothes and come have breakfast with me. I love you."
He looked again at the walls of his room and noticed that they were full of pictures and captions, forming a chronological order of events. The world slowly recovering from the consequences of the Third Impact. Misato, Ritsuko, several people from Nerv, and his friends were alive and well. And in each year, a picture of him with Asuka, with the television playing the wedding video positioned in the place corresponding to the year 2025.
Suddenly, all these events were settled in his mind as if they were real. As if he had really lived through it and experienced it all. The feeling was wonderful. If this was a dream, he would not want to wake up. And as soon as this thought came into his mind, a wave of sadness hit him again.
Slowly he got up and dressed, taking a few more minutes to get up enough courage to open the door.
As he opened the door, he could only see the beautiful redheaded woman who was just setting the breakfast table. Hearing the door opening, she turned toward him and cracked a big smile.
"Hey, hey, good morning, Mr. Sohryu. Would you like to meet your daughter?"
Shinji looked down to see a little girl who was hugging Asuka's legs.
"Go say hello to Daddy."
"Hi, Daddy!"
The little girl jumped into Shinji's arms as he struggled awkwardly to hug the girl, still looking confused.
"Asuka... is this real? How can I know for sure that I'm not..."
She slowly stood up and walked towards him, extending her arm and caressing him on his cheek.
"Shhh... It's okay. Don't you remember what your mother said? Any place can be paradise... as long as you don't run away from me. Idiot!"
Asuka stared at the man who was crying tears of joy, his eyes showing a mixture of affection, understanding and love. And she made no motion to stop him.
Author notes: Once again, thank you all for the continued support and reviews and sorry for the delay.
I promised that this chapter would be more lighter and fluffier but once I've re-watched the original movie I thought that, despite being labelled as romance comedy, it was really a rather tragedy/sad tale, so I got to improvise a little bit.
I intended to post it on mother's day, since Asuka's struggles in this one were kinda based on my own mother, who took care of my father until the end even after he got a similar mental condition, so, even with the delay, I guess it still counts as an homage.
Will try to post another chapter by the end of this month. One that will start with Shinji on the telephone booth :)
