Chapter 63

November 21st, 2021

Jess had texted Rory to meet them at the diner before Rory had gotten in her car to drive over to Stars Hollow, having before that gone home to change first.

There wasn't anything that unusual in that as such, as Em did love pancakes and sometimes it just made more sense to walk four houses over for a meal than make it from scratch at Jess'.

Each time Rory saw Jess however, their interaction had been strained these past few times - both being on their toes about what was going to be said or not said, if the other was going to pick a fight or get a reaction out of the other. So mostly, these past few times they'd said as little as possible.

The diner door chimed behind her and Rory made her way over to the side table, the one closest to the register, left of the counter, which seemed to be Jess' favorite since forever. It got the least interaction with other customers and it was also closest to the kitchen.

Rory greeted Luke and several of the other people in the diner whom she knew, before reaching their table.

"Hey, you guys," Rory said as she reached them, and hugged Em sideways, meeting Jess' eyes at the same time.

"Mommy!" the girl exclaimed with her jam-stained mouth and Rory had to watch not to get jam on herself in the process.

"Hey," Jess exhaled.

Seeing the girl was nowhere near done with his meal, Rory pulled out her chair to sit.

"I was actually hoping we could talk," Jess began, before Rory had had a chance to sit. "Luke? Do you mind?" he already managed to gesture towards Luke, who was helping out serving tables that day. The girl was mostly fine eating by herself, but it was good to have someone keep an eye on her.

Rory could already feel her blood pressure rising, already thinking what she was going to say or do if Jess really thought this could be again something he could have control over, like he had done it last time - she wasn't having it.

She nearly objected, wanting to say that she really didn't have time to talk that day or that he should just put it in writing, coldly. But simply wanting to get it over with made her relent.

Luke patted Jess' shoulder supportively, most definitely giving Rory the feeling that Luke was on his side. Not something she'd expected, but then again it didn't fully surprise her either. Luke only knew that side of custody issues. But it could've just been something less direct, and Rory was just reading too much into it. Frankly, at some point she felt she wanted to just have a word with Luke, but she knew it'd be awkward.

Jess led her upstairs. It didn't help that the last time they'd gone up there had been to troll around like puppies, getting an hour or two alone time from their fussy five-month-old baby, after they'd dropped Em off with the grandparents. It had also been the place where Rory had first told Jess she was pregnant.

As the door closed behind her, Rory knew she needed to say something.

"If you think this will just be another one of your chances to yell at me or call me names then…" Rory shook her head, her arms already on her chest defensively. She pulled out her phone, and showed him the recording app she was putting on.

"I'm not," he said, simply. It was clear he hadn't expected the recording, but said, "Fine!" anyways.

Rory didn't respond but took a seat at the kitchen table, or she wouldn't stop pacing back and forth in apprehension.

"I don't like this," Jess admitted.

"Really? No kidding!" Rory snorted.

"I'm sorry about last time. But I am not sorry for asking 50-50, okay? That I should've done sooner," Jess replied.

"So what did you think about the e-mail?" Rory asked, wanting to get some answers. She didn't want this to turn into some row of apologies which they'd both already said, that didn't really lead anywhere.

"Holidays are going to be tricky, and it's something I really need your cooperation on. I asked her what she wanted, and naturally she prefers holidays with you. You've got all the holiday spirit, it's hard to compete with that," Jess replied.

Rory almost wanted to say 'ha' at that, or snort 'what did you think?' but held her tongue. The recording was actually a good thing, making her watch what she said too.

"So you still want her for Thanksgiving?" Rory asked.

"Yes, I do," Jess replied, calmly.

"So what did you have planned, maybe there's something in the activities that… we can get her excited about," Rory suggested, emphasizing the 'we' cautiously.

"I was thinking about watching the Parade on TV together, maybe letting her dress up, we could make pie together. And she'd see you at dinner, I assume…?"

"Yeah, I'll be at dinner," Rory replied. There was more about Thanksgiving dinner than just seeing Em. Also April was bringing a significant other for the first time, and it was just about being a family. She never wanted to have that moment anywhere else than her mother's with Luke's cooking.

"Good," Jess said, appreciatively.

"Well… unless you want to take her shopping I think you could make a road trip together or something - maybe go to that children's museum in Ledyard? Maybe it's time she learn a little more about indigenous people?" Rory suggested. After all this was the first year when Em was reading a lot and could follow the instructions on exhibits. And the girl was definitely curious about museums, even sometimes thinking about how they made them. Thinking like that was well beyond her age.

"Okay, I'll think about that," Jess replied.

Rory knew that Jess was all about letting Em have a childhood - games and fun - hence he hadn't always been the biggest pusher to get her learning, like Rory seemed to be. Jess probably wouldn't have taught Em to read this soon, at first signs of interest, and Rory knew that Jess might think the museum idea was too soon for her. But it was his call.

"Anything else?" Rory asked.

"I think as Thanksgiving weekend is a long one, I think you picking her up on Sunday would be good, but maybe next time I could take her to school on Monday. I want to meet the teachers. I feel like I haven't been there enough," Jess suggested.

"Sure, that's fine," Rory replied and for once she agreed. "You want to start alternating weekends from next weekend onwards or…?" she asked.

"What do you think?" Jess asked.

"Either way is fine," Rory shrugged.

"So okay, maybe next weekend she'll be with you then, since it'll be a long weekend over Thanksgiving," Jess suggested, meeting her halfway.

"Okay," Rory sighed.

"And I can probably swing the school fees next semester, if that's okay. So one pays half the school year, the other the other part, maybe?" Jess suggested.

"The school is paid for, the whole year," Rory replied. "But if you want to… I don't know, maybe just start a college fund? She'll need money wherever she'll end up going. I have school covered for now. I really don't see the need to start dividing that up. She has her trust fund, and that really is not my money but hers, but then there wouldn't be any need to touch that before she's 25," Rory explained.

"You know how I am with the money," Jess replied, uncomfortably. He'd never enjoyed how it made them less than equal. He wasn't a poor man, but not that far off from living hand to mouth either, even Rory knew that. He had had better times when he'd been writing, and he had savings for a rainy day, but Rory saw no point in forcing himself to use that money unless Em really needed it. Being a small business owner was hard enough and for Rory this really wasn't the matter of principle.

"Yeah, I know," Rory said, recalling well how against accepting her grandmother's input buying the house he'd been at first.

"So you'll have her for Christmas?" Jess continued.

"That would be the idea, yeah," Rory replied with an exhale.

At that Jess actually looked a little sad. "If you're okay with Logan… maybe being around too, you're welcome to join us for dinner or in the morning to open the presents," Rory offered.

At the sound of that name Jess' face tensed up, and he was definitely holding back what he wanted to say, Rory could tell.

"I know you don't like him, I get it - I really do. You have every right not to," Rory added. "But just like you need my help to get her to like the idea of holidays with you, I need you to not hate him publicly," Rory said, knowing that it was a lot to ask. "And that is something I'll have to learn how to do too when you find someone yourself," she added, hoping that wasn't crossing some line for him. She didn't have a clue at this point how hard that would really be.

"God, Rory…," Jess exclaimed, and intertwined his fingers in his hair and pulled on it in frustration. He shook his head.

Rory's eyes were open wide, her mind preparing a defense internally on whatever was coming.

"Do you really know what you are getting yourself into with him? I mean, some of the stuff they write about him…," Jess began, holding back.

Clearly Jess had googled him.

"When Em told me he'd been over for dinner - I lost it for a moment. Not in front of her - of course. I mean I didn't do anything other than google him… but just… I can stand the thought of him around her. And reading about him really didn't help," Jess began, looking tortured.

"Those stories are not true, most of them at least - he had a bad breakup, his ex black-mouthed him and he just let her, not wanting to resort to her level," Rory explained. She almost wanted to add that he'd been depressed, but she held her tongue not wanting to add any more potentially negative aspects to Jess' knowledge on him.

"You really trust his words over what they write?" Jess asked in disbelief.

"Yes, and I have his friends' word and his sister's. And all of them are really my friends too," Rory added, confidently. "He's had a tough few years, there's a lot you don't know. But he's a good person. He's giving Em a lot of space, asking her opinion if it's okay for him to hang out with us, not overstaying his welcome and so on. I would've wanted him at Thanksgiving too, but I get it - we can't rush it with Em, and he agreed. He's not the enemy, Jess, he respects you too," Rory added.

"That's a little hard to believe...," Jess replied with a weak snort, doubtfully.

"You'll see," Rory shrugged.

"I'm not sure if I want to be in the same room with him at Christmas," he added, truthfully.

"We'll see - there's a long way till then," Rory shrugged, but was actually beginning to think maybe they should meet just the three of them first, maybe getting someone more for balance to be around. Maybe Jess just needed to say whatever he needed to Logan to get past this block. His image of Logan was an old one and not a particularily good one, having seen Logan at his worst. Or if it really seemed like the worst idea by then, surely they could work something out so they wouldn't actually have to be in the same room.

"Okay," Jess sighed, and rose from his seat, indicating that they'd covered the most important things for now.

"I do want you to be happy too, Jess," Rory said as she rose, as a show of good faith.

"Yeah, and I don't want him to hurt you, nor Em," Jess added. It was not what Rory had expected, but she both understood and appreciated it. She just needed to hope that he'd adjust and get past his fears.

"I know..," Rory said, and stepped close offering him a brief, friendly, hug. It spoke of thankfulness as even having this conversation couldn't have been easy for him. It was hard for him to talk like this, and his earlier much more agitated talk a few weeks ago had most definitely been his defense mechanism, that Rory had by now figured out. But writing things down had helped her to say what she'd needed and him to absorb what she'd said without reacting too soon. It really felt like things might turn for the better, communication wise at least.

As Rory made her way back downstairs, Jess walking ahead of her, her phone pinged as she was ending the recording having nearly forgotten about it. She glanced briefly at the message Logan had sent.

"I forgot to ask you something earlier," Logan began.

"Would it be okay if I contacted DuGray to catch up?" he typed next.

"I know I probably don't even need to ask, but… I don't know, just in case that is too close to Em's school or not knowing how things were with you two before… I thought I'd check first," Logan added.

Rory was really not very used to seeing Logan hesitate or double-check anything with her this much, it even showed some insecurity on his part. But she was kind of glad he'd asked.

She, however, wasn't sure what to reply. She kind of wanted to tell him in person what it had been.

She began to type something, but retracted her words several times, standing at the bottom of the stairs to finish replying before she gave Em her full attention.

Seeing from the corner of her eye, that Em was already finished and pulling on her jacket, she realized she just needed to get this response over with.

"Sure, no problem," she typed. "Just maybe tell him you're seeing me in passing or something?" she added, hoping Logan could read enough from between the lines or if he needed to know more, he'd ask. It was ancient history, and not even a very content-filled history at that. It had been just a few meaningful moments - nothing serious. And Rory actually knew better than Logan realized that he was a little lonely in Hartford, rebuilding one's life wasn't that easy. And in that sense she really wanted him to have a life beyond her and his work too - maybe this could indeed help?