Author notes: Hey. A little bit late, but I'm dropping this rather larger than usual update for Shinji's birthday. It's from a movie that I think it fits rather well with Shinji's character and journey, so I tried to make way more references in this one, not only for the scenes, but also for the narrative style. Several opportunities to catch the reference, to this classic movie and enjoy the ride on this Shinji Ikari epic journey with some easter eggs about famous fanfiction too.

As always, thanks for the continuous support.


Shinji was standing near a telephone booth.

As he looked away from it for a while, he saw a blue haired woman staring at him.

He closed his eyes and opened them again, but the woman was still there.

"May I ask what you are doing?" – she asked.

"I'm just trying to make a call, but I think that it's not working."

"Of course it's not working. Who uses a public telephone booth nowadays? It's still here just because of tradition."

"Oh… I see. You know, one of my first memories of my childhood was right here."

A little boy closed his eyes tightly as he sat on the floor, while a purple haired woman was speaking at the same telephone booth.

"Look Rits, I know that he is different. We're all different. What do you mean with 'really stupid'? What does normal mean, anyway? He might be a bit on the slow side, but this boy was selected by the Marduk Institute, so he is going to get the same opportunities as everyone else. Yeah, I'm sure. No, I don't have parental issues. Screw you Rits!"

The woman looked to see young Shinji staring at her.

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry, kid?"

"B-because I'm stupid."

"Hey, hey. Don't ever let anybody tell you they're better than you, Shinji. Did you hear what I said? You're the same as everybody else. You are no different.

Her name was Misato. She was not my real mother, but she always had a way of cheering me up. Sadly, not all people agreed with her. I remember my first day of school at the Marduk Institute so well.


Young Shinji entered the classroom, looking for a place to seat.

Another boy with glasses looked up from his chair

"This one is taken"

Shinji looked around. A girl moved her things over, so Shinji couldn't sit next to her. She shook her head.

Shinji looked to the other side where a boy was sitting alone, occupying three chairs. The boy glares up at Shinji.

"You can't sit here."

Shinji froze in the middle of the class, while the rest of the kids laughed and threw balls of paper on him.

I, I... don't recall what I got for my first birthday or the even my mother's face. But, I do remember the first time I heard the sweetest voice in the wide world.

"You can sit here if you want."

I had never seen anything so beautiful in my life. She was like an angel. I don't know why they called her a devil.

"Well, are you gonna sit down, or aren't ya? Are you stupid or something?

"Misato says stupid is as stupid does."

The girl put her hand out toward Shinji.

"I'm Asuka Langley Sohryu. Charmed, huh?."

Shinji reached over and took her hand.

"I'm Shinji. Shinji Ikari."

From that day on, we were always together. Asuka and me were like sausages and rice inside a nice bento box.


Shinji and Asuka were returning home after class, when a bunch of boys from the Marduk Institute surrounded them, leaded by the class bully, Toji Suzuhara.

"Hey idiot".

Shinji is hit in the eye with a dirt clod. Shinji falls backward onto the ground as the boys glare at him.

"Are you retarded, or just plain stupid?

"Look, 'I'm Shinji. Shinji Ikari'"

Asuka glared at the boys, which made them stop as Toji ordered them to retreat. She helped Shinji get back up.

"What was that? Can't you stand up for yourself?"

"I… I'm sorry."

Asuka sighed.

"Listen, Shinji. You promise me something? If you're ever in trouble, just do something, stupid Shinji. Don't be afraid and do nothing, waiting for things to happen. And remember: never, never run away from your problems, ok? Otherwise, I won't forgive you."

Shinji nodded with his head.


A lot of people called me stupid, but when Asuka did that I didn't mind it. People feared Asuka, so they didn't try to mess with me.

Asuka was so beautiful that she went in a lot of dates with other guys. But she always dumped them for a reason and, after that, she always asked me to play the cello for her.

I didn't know at the time, but she explained to me that the Marduk Institute was selecting kids for piloting Evangelion. You know, those things that everyone saw in TV and that they sell lot's of mech and toys based on that.

She had told to me that everything she ever dreamed was to be able to pilot one of those. I wish she didn't have that dream.

When we turned 18, I was selected to pilot one of those things, alongside with Toji. Asuka wasn't selected. We had a fight. She screamed at me and said lot of nasty things, saying that she didn't want to see me again, ever.

I didn't want to do that. I wanted to tell them to put Asuka in my place. But they didn't listen to me.


Shinji stepped onto NERV shuttle. Rain pours outside as the pilot yells at Shinji.

"I'm Shinji. Shinji Ikari."

"Nobody gives a hunk of shit who you are, fuzzball! You're not even a lowlife scum sucking maggot! We don't want smart people here! We only selected dumb men that can't think or question orders for doing this job. Get your faggoty ass on a seat. You're in NERV now!

Shinji was about to sit on the first available seat, but the recruit sitting there pushed him away.

"This seat's taken."

Shinji tried to sit on the next seat, but another recruit moved over, blocking him.

"It's taken."

Then a man with silver hair moved his case over, making room for Shinji to sit down.

"You can sit down if you want to. My given name is Tabris, the Angel of Free Will, the 13th Apostle, child of Adam, but Lilin decided call me Kaworu Nagisa. Can you believe that? But you can call me by any name you want. I think Karl is a nice name, don't you agree."

"My name's Shinji Ikari. People call me Shinji Ikari."

"You are worthy of my grace, Shinji Ikari."

Karl said a lot of things that I didn't understand, but I enjoyed talking to him.

"So, what do you think is the pinnacle of Lilin culture?"

"W-what?"

"I'm just asking what things you like to do."

"Oh… I like music, but they didn't allow me to bring my SDAT player. I also like to cook, because Asuka was always less angry when she was eating the bentos that I prepared."

"Hm… I see. I don't know much about the thing you Lilin call 'meals', but I do have a favorite dish."

"And which one it is."

"Trout."

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, trout. Did I say it wrong?"

"No… it's just that I don't think those are anyone's favorite dish."

"Well, it's mine for sure. Anyway, like I was sayin', trout is the bliss of Lilith's creations. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. There's trout-kabobs, trout creole, trout gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple trout, lemon trout, coconut trout, pepper trout, trout soup, trout stew, trout salad, trout and potatoes, trout burger, trout sandwich. And my favorite of them all: Rainbow Trout. That, that's about it. Do you know why I'm telling all these things to you?"

"No."

"It's because I like you."

I think I liked him too. But everything would go tumbling down in the next days.


Nine giant white beasts were flying over the sky, activating their powerful AT-Fields that destroyed most of Nerv's defense in the battlefield.

Shinji held his own ground and started to shoot on the enemies.

"Center the target. Pull the trigger."

"That's the way to go! You're doing great, Shinji."

"Thanks, Karl."

Then a big explosion was heard. And he saw the familiar shape of Toji Suzuhara's Evangelion being caught by the blast.

Shinji ran into the middle of the battlefield, while Kaworu gave him cover. He went straight to the place were Toji was and grabbed the remaining of his Evangelion, carrying the destroyed unit in his arms, trying to look for a safe place.

"Ikari? What you are doing? Are you stupid? You dink son-of-a-bitch! I'm done. Leave me there, Ikari. Forget about me. Get yourself out! Did you hear what I said! Goddammit, pull me down! Get your ass out of here!"

Shinji dropped Toji's Evangelion upper body down at the bank, and returned quickly to his position

With three precise shots, he was able to take down the remaining enemies that were over Kaworu. After the targets were destroyed, he approached the destroyed body of his friend's Evangelion.

If I'd known this was gonna be the last time me and Karl were gonna talk, I'd have thought of something better to say.

"Hey, Karl..."

"Hey, Shinji."

They stared into each other, in silence.

"Shinji, what happened?"

"They… got you."

Then Karl said something I won't ever forget.

"I think I was born to meet you Shinji Ikari."

Karl was my best good friend. And even I know that ain't something you can find just around the corner.

Karl was gonna show me how to make a rainbow trout, but instead he died right there in my arms.

After that, I returned to the base and was put into the field hospital, for observation. I got a nice medal. They called me "Invincible Shinji Ikari". But not everyone was happy about it.


Shinji was lying in his hospital bed until he felt two hands grabbing his neck.

As he tried to push away his aggressor, he recognized those hands.

"Look at you! The idiot bastard Shinji Ikari. A hero! And look at me. Now, I'm nothing but a goddamned cripple! A legless freak. Look! Look! Look at me! Do you see that? Do you know what it's like not to even be able to run away?"

"I… I think I do."

"Did you hear what I said? You cheated me. I had a destiny. I was supposed to be an all-star basketball player or to die trying. But you cheated me out of it! And now I'm crippled! I don't have my legs. I will have to live without being able to fulfill my destiny! You understand what I'm saying, Ikari? This wasn't supposed to happen. I was Toji Suzuhara. And now? What happens now?"

"Y-you're still Toji Suzuhara."

Toji looked at him with pure anger in his eyes. Then, confusion. And, finally, sadness, as he loosened his grip on Shinji's collar, returning to lay on his own bed.

After the doctors allowed me to go, I went back to Misato's apartment.


As Shinji opened the door, he saw doctor Ritsuko standing next to Misato, who was laying in the bed.

"Hi Shinji."

"Misato, I think we should continue tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah, probably is better. Thank you again, Rits."

The doctor looked at Shinji's medal.

"You sure fulfilled your destiny, didn't you, boy?"

The doctor left the room and closed the door as Shinji walked towards Misato.

"What's the matter, Misato?"

"I'm dying', Shinji. Come on in, sit down over here."

He sat down near her bed, holding her hand.

"Why are you dyin', Misato?"

"It's my time. It's just my time. Oh, now, don't you be afraid, sweetheart. Death is just a part of life. It's something we're all destined to do. didn't know it, but I was destined to be your guardian. I did the best I could."

"You did good." Said Shinji, tearing up.

"Well, I happened to believe you make your own destiny. You have to do the best with what life gave you."

"What's my destiny?"

Misato asked Shinji to come closer and gave him a gently kiss on his forehead, putting a small metallic cross on his hands.

"You're gonna have to figure that out for yourself. I will miss you, Shinji."

A few days later, she passed away. Ritsuko told me that Misato got sick because she had worked too close to a radioactive device to protect us all. Misato was a good person. I miss her. Every day. I will carry her cross with me until the day I die.

I stayed in her house and had nowhere to go and nothing else to do.

Until I got a message from the Sub-Commander saying that they would hold a special celebration to honor the heroes of the war.


Shinji was standing on a stage in front of a huge crowd. He was wearing his tight plugsuit. Standing next to him, Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki was making his speech on the microphone.

"And thanks to the unique skills of heroes like Shinji Ikari, NERV will assure that the world will be saved and that no other power on Earth will be able to…"

Suddenly, several gas bombs began to be fired, scattering the crowd, as several hooded men tried to climb onto the stage.

"Death to NERV!"

"The Evangelions have only brought doom to the world."

Shinji was taken aback by the situation and fell to the stage floor, coughing heavily from the effects of the gas, as two hooded men approached.

"Look how lucky we are, Keita! We just caught Mr. Hero."

"I'll be happy to finish this idiot."

"Hey, stop it! He's just a soldier! He has nothing to do with it." - said a female voice approaching, which made the two men turn around.

"Sohryu? What you mean? He's the poster boy for NERV. We just finish him off and we'll..."

"Are you deaf by any chance? I already said no and..."

One of the men grabbed Asuka from behind and put his hand over her mouth.

"You know what, Sohryu? I'm already tired of your arrogance. How about we take the opportunity to finish her off too, huh, Musashi? Musashi?"

The man looked at his companion, only to realize he was on the ground, knocked out, as a berserk Shinji Ikari ran towards him.

Asuka took advantage of this moment of hesitation to free herself from her attacker, knocking him to the ground.

"Asuka?"

"Shinji! Come with me."

They ran together until they reached a busy street in the center of town.

"You can't keep doing idiotic things like this, Shinji. Are you stupid? They could have killed you!"

"They were tryin' to hurt you."

"A lot of people try to hurt me. History of my life. I don't need your help. I can handle my own problems! Why can't you just leave me alone? See, that's why I hate you!"

"I can't help it. I needed to do something. I… I love you."

"Shinji, you don't know what love is."

"I would never hurt you, Asuka."

"I know you wouldn't, Shinji."

They walked in silence. Asuka touched Shinji's plugsuit.

"That uniform is a trip, Shinji. You look handsome in it. You do."

"Asuka…"

"What?

"I'm glad that we are together again."

"Me too, Shinji. I have so much to tell you, you won't believe what's been going on..."

We walked around the rest of the day, Asuka and me, just talkin'. Until we got into her place. It was a very old apartment complex. She apparently had forgotten the keys, since we had to jump the wall to enter the building.

"Well… here we are. Thanks for walking me here." – she said while picking the lock of the door.

They stared into each other's eyes in an awkward silence.

"Do you… want to stay?"

"I want to help you somehow and be with you forever, Asuka. I'd make a good husband."

"You would, Shinji."

"But you won't marry me."

"You wouldn't want to marry me. Trust me."

"I want you to have this".

Shinji placed the box with his medal in Asuka's hand. Asuka looks up at him.

"Shinji, I can't keep this."

"I got it just by doing what you told me to do. I didn't run away, Asuka. I actually did something worthy. All because you were there with me all the time, inside here." - he pointed to his chest.

"Why're you so good to me?"

She softly kissed his mouth and took his hand, guiding him inside the apartment.

It was a wonderful night.

Shinji was still asleep as the sun was raising, while Asuka carried her backpack, leaving the apartment building, and walked toward a waiting cab.

"Where are you running away to, miss?"

"I'm not running away." – she answered, as she entered the car.


After I woke up that day and Asuka wasn't there anymore, I didn't have anything else to do. I was angry at her. So, I decided to break my promise. I ran.

I ran until I reached the end of the road. And when I got there, I thought maybe I'd run to the end of town. And when I got there, I thought maybe I'd just run across Tokyo-3 district. And I figured, since I run this far, maybe I'd just run until I reached Mt. Asama. And that's what I did.

For no particular reason I just kept on going. I ran clear to the Sea of Japan. And when I got there, I figured, since I'd gone this far, I might as well turn around, just keep on going. When I got to another ocean, I figured, since I'd gone this far, I might as well just turn back, keep right on going. Until one day someone called my name.


"Shinji? Shinji Ikari?"

Shinji stopped to look at the source of the familiar voice.

Toji was walking across the street way, using a cane. A woman and a little girl were walking next to him.

"Toji Suzuhara? Toji Suzuhara!"

"Hello, Shinji."

"You got new legs. New legs!"

"Yeah, I got new legs." – he lifted his pant leg to display his metal leg. "Custom-made titanium alloy. It's what they use on the space shuttle."

Shinji looked at the prosthetic legs, with worried eyes.

"You can't play basketball with those."

Toji nodded his head.

"No, I can't. But guess what? I'm still Toji Suzuhara. A doctor. Husband of this lovely lady, Hikari and father of the cutest thing in the world, Tsubame. Thanks to you!"

"Toji Suzuhara" – Shinji smiled.

"So, Shinji, you've been running for a long time, right? May I ask you why?"

"Well… I guess it's because nobody told me to stop."

Toji laughed a playful laugh, while Hikari whispered something in her husband ear.

"Oh, yes. I guess there is one person that would be able to change your mind. Hikari here is actually friends with Asuka, you know."

Shinji looked away.

Toji stared at him, confused, while Hikari whispered something in her husband ear.

He then picked up a small business card, and started to write something on it.

"Hey, Shinji there you go. That's my card, you can call me or drop by my house anytime you wish to talk. I also written Asuka's number on it, so if you want to get in touch with her, I think she will appreciate it."

Shinji looked back at him and picked up the card just nodding.

And so, I came here.


"I don't have a phone, so I needed to find a telephone that I could use. But this one is not working anymore. I guess destiny is saying that we are not meant to be together. After all this time, she wouldn't recognize my voice or even remember about me."

The blue haired woman looks at the card for a while.

"I don't think that this is destiny. You know that you could have asked anyone to lend you a cellphone or buy one yourself, right?"

"Oh…oh… I… I guess I didn't think about that."

"Either way, you don't need to call. He also wrote her address on the other side of the card, see? It's just five or six blocks down that way."

"Down that way?"

"Down that way. Maybe you can call that destiny."

"Oh."

Shinji hastily grabs his suitcase and card as he stands, starts to running into that direction, taking a few steps before turning back to talk tothe woman again.

"Thanks. It was nice talking' to you!"

But she wasn't there anymore.


It took Shinji a few minutes to arrive at Asuka's house and several more minutes for him to gather the courage needed to get near the door.

He stands in front of the door and rings the doorbell.

Once.

Twice.

He takes a step back, preparing to walk away as Asuka opens the door, wearing not but a green robe.

"Hey, you are earlier than…"

She stares at him, in shock.

"S-shinji?"

"H-hi."

"How are you doing? Come in. Come in."

Asuka shuts the door. Shinji looks around, in awe.

"Yeah, before you will judge me, I know it's messy right now. Hey, it's way better than the last time, right? Give me a break! I just got off work. Just sit here for a while. I got something to show you."

Asuka picks up a scrapbook and turns the pages. Shinji noticed his old medal, exposed in a picture frame.

"I kept… I kept a scrapbook of you. Of your clippings and everything that the journals said about you. There you are. This, I got your running."

He smiles a sad smile.

"Asuka. I ran away. Sorry, I broke my promise."

"No! No, no, no. There. Listen, Shinji. I don't know how to say this. Um, I just... I want to apologize for all that I did to you. I was messed up for a long time, and I should have told you that..."

The doorbell rings. Asuka quickly moves to attend the door to reveal a young woman carrying a young boy.

"Hey!"

"Hey Nozomi!"

Asuka grabs the boy in her arms.

"He is doing really well, Asuka. How do you do?

"Ah, listen, next week my schedule changes, so I'll be able to... but thanks for picking him up. I owe you one."

"No problem. Got to go. I'm double parked. Sis is going to be there at papa's house, Come to see them next weekend if you can, alright?"

"Okay, bye."

Asuka puts the child on the floor again.

"Hey, look. This is a very good friend, Mr. Ikari. Can you say hi to him?"

"Hello, Mr. Ikari." – the boy says, offering his hand.

Shinji just stares for a while before taking the boy's hand.

"Hello."

The boy looks at him and then at Asuka.

"Is he st…"

"Shhhh! Watch your tongue. How many times I told you that you can't say mean things to other people?"

"Sorry, mama. Can I go watch Ultraman now?"

"Yes, you can. Just keep it low."

The little boy runs into other room and picks up TV remote control.

"You're a mama, Asuka!"

"Yes. I'm a mama. He is very special to me. His name is Shinji."

"Like me." – Shinji says, staring at the boy.

"I named him after his Daddy."

"He got a daddy named Shinji, too?"

Asuka sighs and put her hands on his shoulders.

"You're his daddy, Shinji."

Shinji continues to stare at the boy for a few seconds before his eyes widen and he starts to back away from Asuka's touch.

But she grabs his arm with a firm grip.

"Hey, Shinji, look at me. Look at me, Shinji. There's nothing you need to do, okay? You didn't do anything wrong. I'm the stupid one here, not you. Okay?"

They stare at each other's eyes for a while, before turning their heads to stare at the kid that was in the other room.

"Isn't he beautiful?"

"He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. But... is, is he smart, or is he..."

"He's very smart. He's one of the smartest in his class."

Shinji's eyes tear up and Asuka softly caress his face.

"Asuka. I… what I should do now?"

"We… will need to talk. I can tell you everything that happened in my life. But I have no right to tell you what you should do. You're gonna have to figure that out for yourself. If you don't want to see me again, I would unders…"

Shinji pulls her closer to him and, holding her as their lips touch into a soft, gentle and longing kiss.

A few seconds after, Shinji breaks the kiss, looking ashamed.

"Sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't brush my teeth."

Asuka stares at him, dumbfounded. Then, chuckles. And after a few seconds starts to laugh, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him on the mouth again. An adult kiss.

She rests her head on his shoulder, softly whispering.

"Shinji… do you want to stay?"

He pulls her into a caring embrace.

"Asuka. I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is."

She let the tears fall, while pushing her face closer to his chest.

"You know… some people would say that I don't deserve you. That I only hurt you. That you should let me go and move on. Find a nicer person to make you happy."

"Oh. I guess that they are really stupid."