Life Sucks

Prologue

All I could feel is pain.

I closed my eyes and prayed this nightmare would end.

But it continued. The pain increased as he pushed further into me.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered in my ear.

I didn't feel beautiful. I felt disgusted with myself.

I was relieved when he pulled out.

He fixed himself up and kissed me, "This is our little secret. Ok?"

I nodded fearfully before he walked out.

I curled myself into the fetal position.

Why did he continue to do this to me? What had a 14-year-old girl done to deserve this for the past three years?

What had I ever done that had been so horrible, that God would allow my older brother to rape me?


I glanced at the clock next to my bed. 2:37 a.m.

The crying from the next room continued.

I groaned and reluctantly got out of bed.

This shit was gettin' on my nerves. At this rate, I would never get any sleep.

I walked into the room. She was still crying.

I gently picked her out of the crib, but she continued to cry.

For a five month old baby, she had some powerful ass lungs.

Carried her downstairs to the kitchen and fixed her a warm bottle of milk.

When she finally fell asleep, I took her back up to her crib.

I stayed for awhile and watched her sleep. She was a beautiful baby.

But this was gettin' hard. I couldn't do this by myself.

I was only 17 and bein' a single parent was takin' its toll……


Dear Diary,

I hate it here! I hate livin' here. I especially hate her! That bitch of a step-mother!

She thinks she knows everything.

He tries to act like he cares, but I know better.

See, that's why I did what I did.

I wanted to show him exactly what type of bitch he married.

But something went wrong. And now, I don't know what to do.

I'm stuck with this...secret...


No matter what anyone else says, it was an accident.

I didn't mean to do it.

I was tryin' to protect the only person I cared about.

My mother is the only person in the world that I cared about.

The only person and he took her away from me!

What else was I supposed to do?

I've always been taught that 'an eye for an eye' is wrong.

Does that mean 'a death for a death' is wrong too?

Like I said before, I didn't mean to do it.

But I knew no one would understand. So I ran. I ran for ten years.

Murder is murder. My mom didn't raise an idiot. I knew it was a crime.

Even for a six year old.