Dbf: HI YA'LL!!!! I'M BACK AND WITH A NEW CHAPTER!!!!
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING WHATSOEVER!!!!....Well now that that's all cleared up....ON WITH THE STORY!!!!
CHAPTER THREE: THE EMU
WARNING: Um....few swear words and use of guns....but no one gets hurt....but other than that i'd say its PG. WELL ENJOY!!!!
Cloud and Sephiroth were walking in a random forest. They both had their shotguns flung over their shoulders. They were wearing these weird hunting hats that have the flaps that hang down and are a stupid plaid color like red and green or something like that. Then they had on camouflage sleeveless shirts with camouflage coats over them. Well Cloud wore his over his shirt while Sephiroth just tied his around his waist showing off his arms. They both had on camoflauge pants and big brown combat boots. Sephiroth had a sterling necklace around his neck with a saber tooth tigers actual tooth hanging from it.
"Hey Sephiroth....Why do we have to wear these goofy ass hats anyway.... I mean their stupid and ugly and....IT'S GIVING ME HAT HAIR!!!! And they totally clash with the camouflage!!!!" Cloud complained. "Plus these boots weigh a ton....it's like wearing ten ton bricks on your feet...." Sephiroth takes off Cloud's hat and points his gun to Cloud's head.
"Hey!!" Cloud said.
"One....You'll wear this hat if you don't want to get shot....and two....IT'S IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU OF ALL PEOPLE TO GET HAT HAIR!!!!" Sephiroth said. "Now shut up!!!!" Sephiroth took the gun away from Cloud's head.
"What the hell are we hunting again?" Cloud said.
"You if you don't shut the hell up...." Sephiroth said cautiously looking around. Cloud just started to look around randomly. Sephiroth suddenly stopped. Cloud bumped into him.
"Hey what's the big...."
"God....Cloud for the seven hundredth time shut your yap...." Sephiroth yelled in a loud whisper. He pointed his gun in a certain direction and looked through the target hole thingy. "Aha!" Sephiroth said quietly. Cloud looked in the direction that Sephiroth had his gun pointed at. Cloud looked at his gun.
"How does this thing work anyway...." he said looking into the gun hole. Sephiroth was about to pull the trigger on his gun. Suddenly Cloud accidently pulled the trigger on his own gun and gunpowder flew into his face. He started coughing like mad. Suddenly the emu that Sephiroth was trying to shoot dashed away at the sound of the gun. Sephiroth growled a little as the gun slowly fell out of his hand.
"....Cloud...." Sephiroth said as he slowly turned around.
"Hey....Uh....Sephiroth is it just me or does something smell a little funky...." Cloud asked. Sephiroth just rolled his eyes. He walked slowly towards Cloud and took a deep breath. Then he slapped Cloud upside the head.
"YOU GOD DAMN FUCKING MORON!!!! CAN'T I TURN MY BACK FOR ONE MINUTE WITHOUT YOU SCREWING EVERYTHING UP!!!! YOU JUST LOST US OUR DINNER!!!!" Sephiroth said. Cloud gulped.
"....D....Dinner...." he said.
"Yeah....I"m trying out this new dish and it calls for spleen of emu..so.." Sephiroth explained.
"..Oh..eww..that's disgusting!! I"m never eating your cooking again!!" Cloud yelled.
"Yeah..well you ate like eight helpings of the dish that I prepared last night!" Sephiroth said.
"Well yeah!! Cause it was good and it didn't make me gag!" Cloud said.
"Liver of Zebra...." Sephiroth said. Cloud slowly turned a light shade of green. Cloud then held up a finger.
"....Excuse me while I go puke my brains out...." Cloud said as he walked off. Suddenly Sephiroth noticed something from the corner of his eye. He immediately picked up his gun. The emu had come back. Sephiroth aimed his gun at the defenseless animal. Cloud returned and saw this.
"NOOOO!!!!" he screamed as he lept on Sephiroth knocking him down. At the same time Sephiroth's gun went off and a bullet pierced the tree bark right above the emu. Sephiroth growled once more as he slowly got up shoving Cloud off of him.
"CLOUD!!!!" Sephiroth yelled as the emu ran off once again. "Cloud....I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!!"
"Why can't you cook normal dishes..like spaghetti and bacon?" Cloud asked.
"I did make bacon remember.." Sephiroth answered.
"I'm afraid to know what you used to make that....a rabbit or something...." Cloud said.
"Nope....that was...."
"STOP!! I DON'T EVEN WANNA KNOW!!!!" Cloud interrupted. Just then they heard a noise. There was a lot of rustling coming from the distance.
"What the...." Cloud said. Sephiroth's eyes widened all of a !!!!" Sephiroth yelled grabbing Cloud's arm.
"Why?" Cloud asked wrenching his arm away from Sephiroth's strong grip. Suddenly a stampede of emus came charging toward the two guys. Cloud's eyes widened.
"..S....Sephiroth....WAIT FOR ME!!!!" Cloud yelled running after Sephiroth. Cloud suddenly saw a bullet rushing towards him. "AHHHH!!!!" He screamed as he dodged the bullet. "SEPHIROTH ARE YOU CRAZY!?!?"
"QUICK....SHOOT!!!!" Sephiroth instructed while running. Cloud pulled the trigger and shot his gun.
"SHIT!!!! NOT AT ME YOU IDIOT!!!! AT THE DAMN EMU!!!!" Sephiroth screamed.
"Oh....Well why didn't you say so?" Cloud yelled while shooting a bullet at the stampede of emus.
"Baka...." Sephiroth muttered to himself as he continued running. The emus were dodging ALL the bullets.
"Damn....they're good!!" Cloud said.
"DON'T TALK....JUST SHOOT!!!!" Sephiroth yelled as he shot a bullet. Suddenly a motorcycle appeared out of nowhere and landed in front of Sephiroth.
"AHHHH!!!! WHAT THE HELL!!!!" Sephiroth yelled as he once again skidded to a stop. Cloud once again bumped into Sephiroth.
"Hey!!" Cloud said.
"The person on the motrorcycle flipped on a switch. Suddenly the emus started making noises and fleeing away like crazy Sephiroth and Cloud watched as they fled. After all the emus were gone they turned their attention back to the person on the motorcycle.
"Um....thanks....who are you anyway?" Cloud asked. The person took off his helmet loose silver hair fell messily around their head. The male figure shook his head to get his hair back into place.
"....K....Kadaj...." Cloud said.
"....B....but....how?" Sephiroth asked.
"Oh....simple really....when I bought this bike I had an emu alarm installed....just incase....ya know....It emits this piercing sound that only emus can hear....kinda like for deer only this once is for emus!!!!" Kadaj said. He looked at Sephiroth. "Uh..Why do you look so pitiful...." Kadaj asked Sephiroth.
"....I never got my emu...." Sephiroth said.
"Uh....: Kadaj said.
"This new disgusting recipe he wanted to try to make called for spleen of emu." Cloud shuddered as he explained this to Kadaj.
"OH MY GOSH!!!! I LOVE EMU!!!! IT IS SO GOOD!!!!" Kadaj said. Sepiroth looked at him.
"You do?" he said puzzled.
"Yeah! Are you kidding?!" I have a whole entire freezer full of emu products!!!!" Kadaj said. "Just this morning I had emu bacon!!!!" Kadaj said. Cloud started turning green once again.
"WHAT KIND OF FREAKIN' SICKOS ARE YOU!!!!" Cloud yelled. Kadaj looked at Sephiroth.
"Uh....Sephiroth....are you....uh....doin' okay...." Kadaj said waving a hand in front of Sephiroth's face.
I think i'm in love...." Sephiroth said as he stared dreamily at Kadaj.
"Uh...." Kadaj said. Cloud slapped a hand to his face.
"....Oh brother...." Cloud said as he dragged his hand down.
"Uh....wanna cook dinner with me later...." Kadaj said a bit scared.
"....Sure...." Sephiroth said in a daze. Sephiroth then fainted.
"Cloud just rolled his eyes.
"Put him on my bike...." Kadaj instructed. Cloud lifted Sephiroth on to the bike.
"God....What does he eat...." Cloud said. Kadaj leaned back and put a helmet on Sephiroth.
"Cloud....put Sephiroth's arms around my waist ....will ya?" Kadaj asked. Cloud did so. As soon as Cloud let go Kadaj stepped on the gas petal and sped away.
"THANKS!!!!" Kadaj called out.
"NO PROBLEM!!!!" Cloud called back. Suddenly he felt something warm on his back.
"Huh...." Cloud said as he turned around. His eyes widened when he saw the emu breathing on him.
"AHHHH!!!! KILLER EMU!!!! WAIT FOR ME YOU GUYS!!!!" Cloud yelled while running after Kadaj and Sephiroth.
DBF: Well that's all for this chapter!!!! Hope y'all enjoyed it!!!!
Cloud: AHHHH!!!! HELP ME!! HELP ME!!
DBF: (rolls her eyes)
Kadaj: What's wrong with him....
DBF and Kadaj: (suddenly see Sephiroth chasing Cloud in an emu costume....)
DBF and Kadaj: (sweat drop)
DBF: Heh....well....R&R!!!!
Kadaj: (currently chasing Sephiroth with a net)
