French alert: I am, as you can see, French. I do my best to adapt to English punctuation and grammar rules in general, but some mistakes may have escaped me. Moreover, some expressions that I don't know in English have been translated by online translators. All this to say: do not hesitate to point out an error or a clumsy translation/adaptation to me.

This story started from an absurd delirium that is still going on so I told myself that I could translate it. If you like crack, welcome!


The god of lies folded his arms firmly.

- No, he said.

- But Loki, tempted his adopted brother.

- No.

- Why?

- For one thing, it's ridiculous. Second, it's absurd. Third, I don't need it.

- S.H.I.E.L.D. thinks that...

- I don't care what S.H.I.E.L.D. thinks, Thor! As long as I am alive, I will never go there.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

- Hello my name is Julien.

- Hello Julien!

Loki rolled his eyes. What the hell was he doing there? He glanced at the door. The only door in the room, his only escape route. Unfortunately guarded by his brother who was waiting behind. And also by Tony Stark, who had come to him for the show and was staring out the door glass while eating popcorn. Miserable mortal!

- That's where I met her and it's thanks to her that I managed to quit drugs. I've been clean for a year, eight months and thirteen days.

- Bravo Julien!

- Thank you for confiding in us. Today we welcome a new member. Would you like to introduce yourself?

Loki remained silent as the eyes turned to him. He heard thunder rumbling in the distance. The "gentle" presence of his brother pushed him very slightly to speak.

- ... My name is Loki, sighed the dark-haired man.

- Hello Loki!

The god was startled and nervously frowned. But didn't they feel foolish to say hello like that? Considering their strangely creepy smile, no. Loki thought he had said enough, after all he had confided in his first name, it was huge. But the leader of the circle didn't agree.

- To begin with, why are you here today?

Loki took a moment to think. Not about his answer, but about the risk he was taking if he didn't answer. The thunder would soon come closer. And he didn't want to.

- Because my brother forced me to, he finally said. I didn't want to come.

- Well, well... For the therapy to be effective, you'll have to come willingly next time.

- That's not going to happen, mumbled the god.

- What's wrong?

- No, nothing...

- In that case, perhaps you could explain to us why your brother wanted you to attend this meeting?

Loki clenched his teeth. Why was this human talking to him as if he was two hundred and twenty years old? He wasn't a kid! And then why were all the others looking at him with big eyes while slowly nodding their heads? It was creepy, even for him.

- Loki?

The god blinked. What did he want again? Ah yes, the reason for his presence.

- We had some differences between him and me. And with his father.

- Your father.

- Sorry, what's that?

- You said "his father," and it's your brother. So he's both your father. Not just your brother's.

Loki fought his growing desire to send this human into one of the walls covered with posters of smiling mortals. Mostly scary.

- Yes, he grinned with difficulty. With... Our... Father.

The leader of the speaking group smiles benevolently. Loki looked up to the sky. By the Nine! He was never going to make it...

- Was that all? Simple quarrels?

- No.

And he walled himself up in silence. The man obviously thought it was a good start because he left him alone until the end of the session.

- So we'll meet again on Friday night to review the week. Good day to all.

The first participants were just getting up when Loki had already broken down the door to get out.

- So brother?

- You listened, Thor. You know what happened.

Tony put his head over Thor's shoulder and tiptoed. He too wanted to know what happened. And if he could make fun of the ice giant in passing, he wouldn't say no.

- But what did you think? Did it help you? the blond god repeated.

- For the last time Thor, I don't need help! And I will never go back. Never again!

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

- Hello my name is Nicolas.

- Hello Nicolas!

- Welcome among us.

Loki put his chin in the palm of his hand and gazed at the door. Here we go again. While the blond mortal confided in himself about his difficult childhood and the death of his mother, the god of mischief was thinking about how to drown the mortal on his left with his coffee cup. Mmmm. Oh! He would slap her arm when she took another sip! Loki smiled but was interrupted in his evil plan by his new worst enemy, the master of ceremonies.

- Thank you Nicolas for confiding in us, it's difficult at the first meeting. Loki, you're back, do you wish to speak? Tell us about the torments linked to your family?

But it is that he insisted the bugger! Loki did not appreciate at all that this human tries to get information about him. He wrinkled his eyelids and threw a long glance at him through his black eyelashes.

- No, he grunted.

- That's fine.

The organizer's smile froze somewhat.

- Anna, would you like to tell us how the reunion with your sister went?

The mortal with the coffee cup cleared her throat and Loki got back in her seat. Another pathetic mortal who was about to tell her pathetic and uninteresting life to a group of mortals as uninteresting as she was. What a pain in the ass! He had to figure out how to escape his brother when Thor will try to bring him here next time. Maybe turn into a snake? Thus, Thor's passion for reptiles would make him forget the meeting.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

New week. New session. Loki had not yet managed to escape it. Oh he had tried to transform himself but Tony, always there to piss off the world and in particular his, had very kindly reminded Thor of the meeting...

- We will all greet Loki who is already in his third session.

Loki made big eyes. They weren't going to...

- Hello Loki!

Yes, they were. One more time...

- We'd like you to tell us what you've done wrong in your life. We're not here to judge you. We're here to help you.

The god folded his arms. He doubted it strongly. If these mortals learned that he was largely responsible for the attack on New York, of course they would judge him.

- Take your time.

Loki looked up at the sky and meticulously observed the ceiling without letting go of a word.

- ...

- ...

- ... Anyone else want to talk in the meantime?

A redheaded mortal timidly raised her hand. Inside, Loki sighed with relief. Yes, he was going to learn the life of an umpteenth human, but for this time he was saved.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Damn it! He had been "voluntarily" participating in these useless meetings for a month. Thor wasn't letting go, neither was SHIELD. Ah. And neither was the head of the therapy...

- We are always ready to listen to you, Loki.

The god tensed his fingers violently on the armrests of his chair when a new "Hello Loki! "resounded with great enthusiasm. He was going to have a heart attack one day... The god scratched his eyebrow as he thought about it. Maybe if he spoke we would finally leave him alone? Loki took a deep breath.

- ... I wanted to kill my father, my brother's father at last. I'm his adopted brother. But it was all to kill my father, the real one this time. So I killed him by bringing him and his army into my father's house. Adoptive. And I was able to kill my father. My real father. In the meantime I tried to kill my brother and his friends. Several times. I almost succeeded. Then I made it look like I was dead. Several times. Then I met an alien, I am a god, who gave me a cube to increase my powers. So I tried to take control of the Earth. But my brother and his new friends some "heroes" prevented me.

A heavy silence settled in the room as Loki continued.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Loki, with a bounding step, joined Thor who was waiting for him in front of the building.

- So brother? Did you speak this time?

- Yes. It was very relaxing, Loki said, stretching. Even though these mortals have a very limited open-mindedness.

- Oh. Did you talk to them about... All of them?

- Of course I told them about them Thor. This is a support group, isn't it?

Thor hesitated. Yes, from what he had been told the purpose was to tell his life story, but he still doubted the reactions of the midgardians to Loki's various announcements. Especially concerning his children...

- Even... Even Sleipnir ? asked the blond man, following his brother who was happily leaving in the busy streets of New York.

- I started with Sleipnir. Shall we go for a coffee, brother?


Would you like to see the brothers sharing a coffee on terrace? Then you can leave a review and give your guesses. Espresso or Longo? Who will pay the bill?

Thank you for reading I'll go back to my translations.