Chapter 90
October 6th, 2016
It had been awkward with her mother since Rory had told her she wanted to write that book about them. Frankly, they weren't speaking. That was more easily thought than done considering Rory had been staying in her childhood bedroom at the time, but the avoidance grew too rough for Rory to handle, so she'd moved in with Lane - thankfully there was that spare room, and Brian didn't need it at the time.
Both she and Lorelai had done their part in staying out of each-other's way these past few weeks. Work and not going out to eat much helped. It was not like Rory had a lot of cash to spend anyways.
Since Rory had spit out what she'd wanted to tell her, having naively actually been kind of excited to tell her, hoping she'd be happy for her progress, she'd read it already from her mother's body language that she wasn't on board, but she'd just kept rambling, trying to explain it anyway. She couldn't believe she'd been so firmly against it.
"You don't have my permission!" - was one of the harshest things Rory had ever heard from her mother. The tone and the wording. It sounded way worse than "You're not quitting Yale!"
The most Rory had heard of her was voice when she'd been around town, but her reaction to that hadn't been very mature - taking another route or simply avoiding her by hastening her pace. She could tell the town was already talking about them too. Rory knew Lorelai didn't want to talk, she knew what it was like when she'd meant it. It was that that hurt so much.
She'd made it to the Gazette that morning, being the first one to arrive which was not the most common situation, usually Esther already being present and filing almost like she had never left. The space - old, cluttered and no doubt full of paper dust - felt calming though. Almost like sniffing at an old book.
It was then as she put her things away, she glanced at the phone for the first time since she'd left Lane's that morning, she noticed it. A voice mail from Lorelai. She took a deep breath and sank to Bernie Roundbottom's chair, gathering her courage to listen to it.
"Hey, it's me," it began. "I know we haven't been talking but you as well as I know how it doesn't really feel right like this. I know you're probably hurt and upset and… You must think I am this big crazy bitch for having said what I did, but you know me - I generally say what I feel. So I just… I just can't," Lorelai continued but stopped on that topic. "But that's not really why I am calling. I've sort of decided I'm going away for a little while… there's been so much going on in my head, it's not about you - it's all me. Because it's just never or now," she exhaled, and Rory recognized a hint of sadness in her tone she hadn't heard in a while. "Luke knows how to get in touch with me if there's anything, but I could be out for a good few weeks, maybe more," she said, not sounding terribly sure of herself. "Bye Rory, love you," she ended the message.
Rory wasn't quite sure what to do with this information. For one her mother was never too thorough on the follow through of such big plans, but what did she know? She hadn't been paying that close attention to how her mother was doing, what she was thinking - how else could she have miscalculated her reaction to the book idea so badly?
She was relieved to hear that Lorelai would still love her regardless, not that she should've been that surprised - same went for her, but it was a necessary assurance. She'd needed it more than she'd realized. She hadn't buried her plan to write that book, even if it was just to use it as a writing exercise and leave it collecting dust at the bottom of one of the drawers at the Crap Shack. She needed to get out of her rut, even if it meant writing just for herself and her mother's eyes.
But as Rory lingered on those thoughts for a few minutes, she became increasingly worried about her mother too. Her mother was never much for going off all by herself. She liked to have a partner in crime. Someone to talk to, someone to complain to. Rory could tell something was up the second the door chimed, indicating Esther's grumpy arrival on how Rory should've turned on the lights so she wouldn't have bothered looking for her key.
December 23rd, 2021
"I never knew Nantucket had such hunky cab drivers. I swear I just spent the past half an hour, from the airport, talking to Jeffrey Dean Morgan's doppelganger," Lorelai blabbered, as she rolled in her suitcase, clearly avoiding all discussion on why she was there, and why she was there alone.
Em was excitedly hopping up and down, just wearing her pajamas, happy to see Lorelai and distracting both of the adults from heavier topics.
"You flew?" Rory asked, sounding surprised. The last she'd checked, the flights were fully booked until the end of the year.
"Yeah," Lorelai exhaled, not providing any explanation. "Aw… you made waffles? For me?" Lorelai said, pretending to be jolly. Lorelai dug a spoon into the whipped cream and helped herself to a mouthful.
This Rory had seen before, and she knew there was a better time than this to inquire into her reasons for…all of it. Hence Rory simply went ahead to pour her mother a cup of coffee and top her own off with a refill, deciding to just get the morning started. Surely she would tell her, eventually. Besides, it was not like they had a day of simply lounging around planned. But the Christmas tree was waiting already by the side of the house and they needed to get the place to meet the Gilmore Christmas standards.
Rory also wondered what had changed Lorelai's mind on coming here. At least to her it had seemed that Lorelai had hesitated at coming to Nantucket because she was afraid of not being ready to face the place - her grandmother's memory. But in this context - she was beginning to think of another scenario. What if it had been Luke who'd been unwilling to spend Christmas with Logan?
But despite that, she couldn't really claim she wasn't happy that her mother was there. As that had been the plan all along. There was enough room in this place not to feel like she was the third wheel, in fact Rory was definitely seeing the positive side of having a babysitter at hand and Em not depending on her solely for her need for attention. Whatever this was, maybe it was at least in part a positive thing?
The three Gilmores were about half-way through with the first serving of waffles, when Logan emerged from upstairs, freshly showered, and dressed in a pair of back sweatpants and light wool quarter-zip sweater.
"Hey," Logan said, his voice showing definitely some surprise.
"Hiya," Lorelai greeted him. "Great waffles, kudos," she commented, having heard Rory emphasize early how Logan had been up early and made breakfast. The quality of breakfast served by the men in their lives were always at least in part treated as a criteria of greatness, and Lorelai was never one to fail to point that out.
Logan shot a questioning look towards Rory, which remained unanswered.
"So what's the plan for today?" Lorelai asked, and bit into another waffle.
This was a classical cry for help from Lorelai, and Rory knew it. She needed to keep moving, keep busy until she no longer could. She wished she wouldn't worry about her, but this was it - this was family, her appearance adding another layer, a less jolly one, into their Christmas celebrations. Suddenly, there were more serious topics on the table than wondering whether one had remembered to put on underwear after their night-time naughtiness.
As the doorbell rang again the next second, before Rory had gotten very far along explaining the general plan, and the courier bringing several large packages to their doorstep the next five minutes, it taking several trips to and from his van, the question answered itself. It was Christmas in the making. That they could do.
AN: Sorry about the shortish chapters. Just feeling a little numb due to the work stuff... definitely don't feel like I'm at my best in writing this right now. But I don't want to stop either.
Also you gave me so many different views (often contradicting ones) on Paris' and Jess' possible relationships. And I definitely don't plan on adding a whole other storyline to this by going too much into either of them, but just I feel like they're standing still a bit, and maybe this is something that could happen in the background.
