A/N: I found this when I was searching through my computer files. It was about a year old, but it was like 90% finished. So, I fixed some minor stuff, changed the dates, and decided to share it with the world.
Personally, I think it's a pile of shit, but let me know how you feel about it. If you want more, just tell me.
I considered myself to be a normal individual. I led a normal life, in which I held a normal job, so I could gather a normal salary. I had a normal apartment in a normal town, where I'd lived for the entirety of my mundane life.
In other words, I was fucking boring.
There wasn't much remarkable about me. I didn't have any tragic backstory or anything. My entire life was, as previously mentioned, normal.
And that wasn't a bad thing. I didn't have any emotional baggage, nor did I have any illnesses, physical or mental. Really, it wasn't that bad.
Until I got side-swiped by a van going 60 miles per hour, that is. That's pretty awful, I would say.. What's worse is the fact that, instead of calling the police, the dumbass driver had the wonderful idea of just fucking shooting me in the cranium.
…Now that I think about it, he was probably a serial killer.
Why am I talking about this? It's not important. Like, on the list of priorities, it's pretty close to rock-fucking-bottom.
Do I sound upset to you? That's because I am. If my anger levels could be quantified with salt, there would be mountains. Entire continents would be formed by my sheer pissiness. You'd be angry too, If you were suddenly taken out like that. I'm completely normal to feel this way.
…I've said "normal" way too many times.
I'm getting of topic. I've just relayed to you the story of my unfortunate demise, so surely that would mean I was, of course, dead?
I should, by all accounts, be a mangled corpse lying by the side of the road. That would only make sense, right?
The fact that I'm talking should clue you in on the fact that I am, indeed, still part of the living. I don't know how, but I think you've probably figured that out by now.
What I do know is that I'm not anywhere I recognize. I had seemingly been transported into a forest.
I, having lived my life in a fairly rural town, was familiar with trees and the like. However, these trees were of a species that I had no recollection of. That wasn't alarming, really. I was an accountant, not a botanist. I could tell the difference between an oak and a pine, but that was about where my skills in tree identification ended.
I'll let you kids in on a little secret. I hate the outdoors. You know what? Hate isn't a strong enough word to describe the absolute animosity I felt towards Mother Nature. Fuck her! Fuck her and all of her creations! All the birds, bees, plants, insects, and other shit can go die in a hole for all I care!
… Maybe I do have a small problem, mentally speaking.
As nice as venting about my inner hate for foliage is, we aren't here to speak about that.
"Where the fuck am I?" I yelled, my voice sounding noticeably higher than normal.
… That was not my voice. Sure, it had come from me, but that is not how my fucking voice sounded. And no, it wasn't a voice crack. My voice, which was normally pretty deep, had become that of a child's prepubescent voice.
I, of course, responded appropriately.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" I shouted, bewildered. Seriously, what the f-
I'm repeating myself again. I mean, I feel justified in doing so. No amount of "What the fuck" was substantial enough to properly demonstrate the confusion and fear that I felt at that particular moment.
I wasn't anywhere I could recogni—WHY IS EVERTHING BIGGER?!
Everything was… Much larger, compared to my natural height. This, coupled with the whole voice thing, led me to a pretty startling conclusion.
My body was much younger than it should've been. I'd "de-aged", for lack of a better term.
Okay, that was freaky. Still, I knew to remain calm. In a situation like this, letting fear take hold was a foolish idea.
… I fucking panicked.
There's no point in lying to you. That whole "remaining calm" thing was bullshit, and you all know that. Who wouldn't panic in a situation like this?
I desperately looked around, searching for some trace of society. Unfortunately, there didn't seem to be. I was surrounded only by the forest. There weren't even any animals around.
…What should I do?
That was certainly an important question, one that I didn't even have an answer for. What even could I do?
I wasn't going to accomplish anything by standing around. Walking around in unfamiliar land wasn't a great idea, but it didn't seem like I had any other choice.
Before I left, an idea popped into my head. That idea was simply to mark this area, so that I could recognize it.
So, with more difficulty than I would've liked for such a simple activity, I ripped a branch from a tree, and stabbed it into the ground.
With that out of the way, I began my journey. What great wonders would await me? I didn't know. I just hoped that I would find a town or something.
AN UNDETERMINED AMOUNT OF TIME LATER
"This… Is fucking… AWFUL!" I groaned, dragging myself on the ground. Every bone in my body creaked when I made even the smallest movement. My muscles ached with exhaustion, each act of motion sending ripples of pain throughout my body. I looked to the sky, wondering how long it had been since I began my trek.
The sun had barely moved.
I slumped to the ground, letting out a frustrated yell.
I… was not the most athletic person. I think that's pretty obvious, what with all the collapsing and such.
"This is such bullshit." I muttered. "I would rather drink expired milk out of a dead yak's ass than have to deal with this fuck shit."
Hearing a child's voice say that was disturbing. It was kinda freaky. Actually, scratch the "kinda" bit. It was completely freaky. However, I had long since reached past the point where I gave a fuck. Exhaustion will do some weird things to you, I've found.
I needed a drink. Maybe a bit of pot, too. I never liked smoking anything, but I needed something to calm my nerves right now.
My left eye was twitching. That was something I had a habit of doing whenever I was angry. I remember telling my coworkers it was just a muscle spasm so they didn't realize that I absolutely despised them. Then again, I despise most people when I first meet them. I had a few friends, but I hated them for a long time. They just kind of grew on me, like a stubborn plant sticking out of a crack in the sidewalk. I was like a neurotic gardener, dealing with the resilient weeds in progressively worsening ways.
The sound of movement snapped me out of my strange musings. Despite the stabs of pain in my legs, I leapt to my feet, turning towards the noise.
"What." I exclaimed dumbly. It wasn't even a question, just a word mindlessly uttered by my primitive lizard brain.
Before me was a large mass of slime. That would be considered odd on its own, but, as with all things, there was more to it.
I could waste time by describing every detail of this thing, but I won't give it the honor of a thorough explanation.
It was a fucking slime girl. There, you happy?
For a moment, I thought I recognized her from somewhere…
"A human?" She asked to herself, in her clear stupidity. "And so young, too."
"…The fuck is that supposed to mean?" I asked cautiously.
"Hey, human," She asked, a decidedly creepy smirk forming on her face. "Could you feed me some of your semen?"
…
…
…
System has crashed. Attempting reboot.
…
…
…
"E-excuse me?!" I exclaimed, baffled. My cheeks burned with embarrassment, and I knew suddenly that I hated this being.
"You… do know what sex is, right?" She asked.
…
…
…
Reboot failed.
"O-of course I do!" I said. "How old do you think I am?"
She looked at me, her eyes roaming my body in a way that left me VERY UNCOMFORTABLE.
"About eleven." She finally said.
Oh, right. The "De-aging" thing.
"And… you thought it appropriate to ask an eleven year old to do… that?" I asked, flustered. "Couldn't you have found someone… Y'know, OLDER?"
The next words she spoke would forever haunt me. Such vile filth was uttered from her mouth, that somewhere, Satan screamed in pure pants-shitting terror.
"I… Kind of like the younger ones." She said.
…
…
…
This one here, Mr. Hansen.
"… How about no." I said, slowly backing away.
Mischief shone in her unintelligent eyes, and she drew closer, a lewd expression on her face.
Without a doubt, I detested this abhorrent being. Although now, my angry thoughts were colored with fear. I was too weak to stop her from doing whatever she wanted to me. That, of course, scared the living shit out of me.
"You'll enjoy it~" She said.
Now, this offer would've been appealing, had I been of the proper age. She gets her sexual appetite fulfilled, and I get an enjoyable experience. However, the creepiness vibes were off the charts with her. I am not going to stick my dick in a gelatinous blob of hentai bullshit. Not when she's into kiddies, at least. I may have been a bit of a perv, but I had standards!
I opened my mouth to speak, before deciding that the best option was to BOOK IT!
I turned, and ran, my fatigue momentarily forgotten. I prayed that the direction I picked would lead me somewhere safe.
"Come back!" She called behind me, giving chase.
I'd like to say that I said something witty. That I'd made some hilarious quip as I made my escape. I'd LIKE to say that. I really would. Reality, however, is often disappointing.
I screamed. A lot.
I ran for what felt like hours, but was in all actuality only a few minutes.
With every step I took, I knew she was getting closer. I could hear the wet squelches of her movement, as well as her poor attempts at convincing me to hop on the train to the Bone Zone.
My foot caught on something, and I tumbled to the ground. I looked down, noticing that my foot was firmly caught in her slime.
I scrambled against the ground, trying my hardest to pull myself away.
"FUCK OFF, YOU KID DIDDLING WHORE!" I screamed, suddenly aware of how fucked I was (Pun definitely intended.).
"You'll li—" She began, before an arrow destroyed her head, splattering it on the ground.
I turned my head towards the direction it had come, spotting a dark-haired woman with a bow and a quiver full of arrows.
I turned back to the slime, to find that her head had regrown. She looked up, angrily glaring at the woman.
"Hey! What was that for?" She asked, annoyed.
"Leave the human child alone." The dark-haired woman replied.
It was at this point that I noticed other women emerging from the foliage, bows drawn back. They all seemed to have pointed ears. That was odd, but maybe it was just a cultural thing.
… If you can't tell, I was still trying to rationalize everything at this point.
The slime looked around nervously.
"…Let's talk about this." She said.
"There's nothing to talk about." Said the dark-haired woman. "Let him go."
The slime searched for words that wouldn't come. It was clear that, no matter what she said, she couldn't talk her way out of the situation.
The slime sighed, and released me. After an awkward moment, she darted away, heading deeper into the forest.
The dark-haired woman walked over to me, an unreadable expression on her face. She stopped before me, and held out her hand. Sheepishly, I took it, letting he help me up.
Her eyes, a pale blue, bored into my soul. After a moment, she looked away, seemingly satisfied.
…Okay, that's creepy.
"Uhh… Hi?" I said uneasily.
She didn't speak at first. She just kind of… Stood there, looking down upon me.
Oh yeah, did I mention that she's taller than me?
She stood at about 6 Feet 5 Inches, which towered over my child-body. If I were still in my normal body, I would have matched her.
… I miss being tall.
"… What is a child as young as yourself doing here?" She asked. Her face remained impassive, but concern was visible in her eyes.
Of course she had to ask. Why wouldn't she?
I shrugged. Really, what else could I do? It's not like I can answer that. I didn't know why I was there, and you all know that. She, however, would not. Why would she trust me?
You know what? Fuck it. This is a ridiculous situation. What god did I piss off to deserve this?
"Oh, I just enjoy nature, you know." I said, doing my best to seem as if it didn't cause me physical pain to say good things about the outdoors. "I've just been wandering for a while, is all."
Maybe, just maybe, she would take me at face value. After all, I looked like a kid. Kids are supposed to be innocent, right?
Her eyes narrowed.
Fuck.
This woman was far too good at detecting lies, it seemed.
"Child." She said, frustration hidden deeply in her voice. "I'd appreciate it if you were honest with me."
"Why are you wasting time with this human?" A dark-skinned, silver-haired woman asked. "Just kill him and be done with it."
The dark-haired woman gave her an icy glare. I swore I could feel the temperature drop a little bit.
The other women glared at her as well. The silver-haired woman seemed to shrink as she stared at the floor, embarrassed.
"…Or, you know, we could just NOT do that." I said, more than a little spooked at her willingness to murder a child.
The dark-haired woman turned to me again.
"Are you lost?" She asked. "Where are your parents?"
I decided it was best to skip straight to the point.
"Hey, uh…" I struggled for a moment, trying to find some polite words, before eventually just giving up. "Where the fuck am I?"
The woman's eyes briefly widened, before returning back to her face of indifference.
"You've got quite a mouth on you for someone so young." She observed.
"That doesn't answer my question." I said.
She stared at me, deep in thought. Were I a more perceptive man, I might've been able to guess what she was thinking about. Unfortunately, perceptive is not a trait that I have. In fact, I think it would be within reason to say that I was so socially inept that I could be considered legally blind.
After a moment, she shook her head.
"… Child, do you need help getting home?" She asked.
SHIT! Why does she ask all the questions I'm unprepared to answer?
This was way worse than any job interview.
"No." I said, trying to sound unsuspicious. "I could probably find my way back if you simply tell me where I am."
Her eyes narrowed dangerously. There was some trace amount of anger there.
I, for some reason, suddenly felt terrified of the woman before me. I stepped backwards, ready to turn and flee at a moment's notice.
Her eyes flicked over me, and softened.
"You don't need to fear me, child." She said. "I am just… Irritated about something unrelated."
… I get the impression that she's dangerous.
"Ma'am," I said. "Simply tell me where I am, and I'll be out of your hair."
She shook her head.
"No," She said. "It's getting dark. You won't reach any villages before nightfall."
"I'm sure I can manage." I said, perhaps a little too forcefully.
"Perhaps you could… follow me?" She asked, hesitant.
Nope. Nope. Nope. NOPE! There is no way I'm going with anyone after that trainwreck.
"While I don't doubt that you have good intentions," I lied, backing away slowly. "I know that it's always a bad idea to go with someone you don't even know."
She frowned.
"Would you rather be out here after dark?" She deadpanned, unimpressed at my thinly veiled attempts to get the hell away from her. "What if you get attacked again?"
At this point, the only thing keeping me from flipping my lid was the fact that this woman terrified me. I didn't trust her one bit, and was only a few moments away from snapping and speaking my mind.
"If that happens, that will have been my own fault." I stated, a bit of frustration bleeding into my voice. "I do not trust you, nor do I trust anyone in your little group."
She took a step forwards, seemingly agitated.
"I can assure you that you have nothing to fear from any of us." She said, attempting to make her voice sound reassuring. It didn't work. If anything, it just pissed me off even more.
"That lady over there literally suggested that you should kill me." I deadpanned, pointing at the silver-haired woman. "That feels like reason enough for me to distrust all of you."
She began to pick up the pace, swiftly closing the distance between us.
When she got about a foot away from me, I turned and began to run…
And promptly tripped over a tree root.
"I've had enough of this." The woman growled. She grabbed me by the shoulder, and flipped me onto my back. Before I could even struggle, she calmly and delicately placed her hand on my face.
"Sleep." She said, her words almost ringing with power.
Hey, why do I feel so tiiiiiiiiiii…
She'd done something. I wasn't sure what, but it made me feel exhausted.
I quickly fell into unconsciousness.
Time had passed, that much I was sure of. What I wasn't sure of, however, was where I was, or exactly how much time had passed.
I first became aware of my surroundings sometime after I originally awoke.
… Don't look at me like that. I'm not one of those people who magically spring up immediately after regaining consciousness. I'm sluggish at the best of times, and this is certainly not the best of times.
I squinted my eyes, trying to look asleep while still taking in my surroundings. I probably looked like a dumbass, but I couldn't see anyone around me, so I didn't care.
I was in a room. That, of course is obvious. But the room was comfortable, and had a warm, homey feeling. This was odd to me, as I fully expected to be placed in some kind of sex dungeon after the result of that encounter.
I was lying in a bed. I was fully dressed, and not chained or tied to anything, which, as previously mentioned, struck me as weird.
After deciding that I was the only person in there, I slowly got up from the bed. I waited for a moment, listening for anything suspicious. After hearing nothing but silence, I scanned the room for an exit. I didn't really have to look, as there was a door facing the bed.
I crept towards it, and grabbed the handle, before pulling the door open.
The door led into a hallway, which, I assumed, led to other rooms. I looked left. There, I saw a small table, with a couple of chairs.
I looked right, and my heart stopped. The dark-haired woman was standing there, arms crossed.
Of course she was there. I mean, why wouldn't she be?
"Did you have a good rest?" She asked nonchalantly.
"… What the fuck did you do to me?!" I yelled, anger briefly taking precedence over my instinct to flee.
"I did nothing sexual, I can assure you of that." She said calmly.
My eyes narrowed. I hadn't brought that up, but it disturbed me that she felt like she had to clarify that.
The woman smiled, which surprised me. She'd originally come off as indifferent and somewhat abrasive, so this was new territory.
"Sit down." She said, pulling up a chair at the table. "We have much to talk about."
Reluctantly, I sat opposite to her, unable to meet her eyes. I wanted so badly to explode at her, to scream angrily, to swear and curse until my throat had gone hoarse.
I didn't do that. This woman scared me. She just seemed dangerous. I might be repeating myself here, but I cannot stress how much my body wanted to jump out a window if she so much as looked at me.
"I… apologize for putting you to sleep like that. I couldn't allow you to run into the forest with night approaching." She said.
"How… did you even do that?" I asked. "Put me to sleep, I mean."
Did she poison me? If so, how? Was it a contact poison? If it was, how did she not get knocked out herself? Did she prick me with an arrow or a knife? I think I would've noticed that.
No matter what I thought, I couldn't figure out an answer.
"Oh? That was a simple magic spell." She said.
… huh?
What bullshit was she trying to feed me? Magic didn't exist.
What, did she think I was a child?
…
…
…
Oh wait she probably did.
I sighed, and, despite the horrible pit in my stomach, looked her dead in the eyes.
"I might be a child, sure, but even I know that magic is a crock of shit." I deadpanned, my eyes narrowed.
She looked genuinely taken aback, like I had just said that the sky was green, or that shit was edible.
"It doesn't exist." I continued, building up steam. "It's just fake bullshit that only morons and the mentally unstable believe in. The only people who perpetuate magic's supposed existence are either brainwashed husks, or people trying to sell you some fake-ass product that doesn't actually do anything."
She looked at me, concern washing over her face.
"Have you not received proper education? What village do you even hail from?" She asked.
"Lady, why do you even care?" I asked. "Why'd you kidnap me and take me here? Like, seriously, what made you think that was okay?"
She sighed, and rubbed her temples.
"I do not wish for a child to be harmed because of my inaction." She said, frustration creeping into her voice.
"You don't need to worry about me." I said. "I would've been fine."
I, of course, wanted to leave. Though, if I tried, I had a feeling that she'd stop me.
She looked into my eyes once again, seemingly searching for something. She must've seen something, as she frowned, and shook her head.
"You have the eyes of someone many years older than yourself." She said. "It is saddening to see a child with such eyes."
I wasn't quite sure how to respond to that. She'd never believe the truth, so I decided to feign ignorance.
"… Exactly how is that a bad thing?" I asked. "Also how do you even gauge that?"
For the next few hours, she kept asking me about where I grew up, and what my childhood was like. Me, being unable to think up a reasonable answer, simply diverted the conversation whenever I could.
It's not like I could just tell her my life story. That slime creature from earlier had pretty much convinced me that I was in a different world. As far as I knew, those things didn't exist on earth.
I couldn't just lie, either. The few times I tried, she'd called me out instantaneously. It was actually kind of impressive. I would probably have admired her for that skill, if it wasn't causing me so much trouble.
So, since faking a backstory wasn't an option, and telling her the truth obviously wasn't one, I just proceeded to not answer any question she asked me.
I zoned out for a while, thinking back on our previous encounter.
Now that I think about it, why were those women referring to me as 'human'?
That was something to file back into my mind for later.
There wasn't much else notable about the conversation, so I won't bore you with the details.
Eventually, her temper seemed to reach the limit.
"Child." She said, gripping the table with almost enough force to shatter it. "I cannot help you if you evade every question I ask you."
She was still calm, but I could see that it was barely maintained. She was close to snapping, and it was oh so tempting to push her along.
"What are you even helping me with?" I asked. "Just point me to the nearest village. I'll figure it out from there."
"Where even are your parents?" She asked, seemingly about to explode.
That was not a question I could answer. My parents were at home… in a different world.
Shit, that's actually kinda sad when I think about it.
Avoiding the question seemed like a bad idea, since she seemed seconds away from beating me to death with a table.
"Well, you see, it's like this… but also not that." I said, hoping that she wasn't about to chokeslam me through the floor.
"You've got to be kidding me…" She groaned, facepalming. "Why are you making this ten times harder than it should be?"
"I'm just trying to get home." I said. "Let me leave."
"Where even is your home?" She asked, one eye twitching.
"Uhhhhh… I'm not legally required to answer that question." I said hastily.
Wait, why the fuck did I just say that? That was absolutely the most suspicious thing I could've said.
I'm a real dumbass, aren't I.
She sighed, and closed her eyes.
"You don't have a home, do you?" She asked, suddenly calm again.
That question caught me off-guard. I didn't expect her to be so blunt. Unfortunately, that left me in a problematic situation, since I didn't have a home in this world.
After a moment, she sighed.
"If I let you leave right now, what would you do?" She asked.
…
…
…
It was at this moment that I realized I was an idiot.
I had literally no plan for… wherever this place was. I didn't know anything about… pretty much everything relating to this world.
Come to think of it, how DID I get here?
As important as that thought process was, it would have to be postponed for now, as there were more important things at hand.
I looked down at the table, not saying anything.
"I'm not hearing an answer." She stated flatly.
I could feel the earlier anger returning. Honestly, she was such a bitch. Perhaps I could poison her with salt…
That's another awful joke. I apologize.
She tapped her fingers against the table. Clearly, she wasn't going to let me not answer.
"Alright, fine." I said, my tone venomous. "No, I don't have a fucking place to go. There, are you happy?"
She closed her eyes for a moment, and sighed.
"I'm not." She said. "Your answer is actually quite saddening to hear."
My eye twitched. She was starting to feign concern, and it was pissing me off.
"I would've figured something out." I said. "I'm sure I could've found a job. Your actions were unwarranted and unwelcome."
She sighed yet again, seemingly disappointed by my answer. For a moment, she was quiet, which left me feeling suddenly uneasy.
"Tell me, child." She said suddenly. "What do you think of me?"
…
…
…
HOW THE FUCK DO I ANSWER THAT?
Obviously, I really disliked her. I'm pretty sure she knew that, too. Still, I felt like she might get angry if I told the truth. However, she'd also get angry if she caught me lying.
Fuck me, I've gotten myself into some deep shit. Well, they say honesty is the best policy, and If she does get angry, then fuck it. In for a penny, in for a pound, I guess.
Once I began speaking, I could not stop the spew of vitriol coming from my mouth. In hindsight, I didn't think she deserved to hear all of that. At that moment however, all I saw was red.
… I might have some anger issues, now that I think about it.
"…To say I dislike you is a gross understatement. I fucking despise you. That doesn't make you special, either, because I despise lots of people." I hissed, my face twisted into a sneer. "Please fuck off and die."
I looked up at the woman, expecting anger. What I saw instead was her looking down at the table, a pained expression on her face.
A pit formed in my stomach. Why wasn't she mad? Why did she look like a kicked puppy?
"… So, I suppose I deserve your anger." She said slowly, emotion leaving her voice completely. "But please… I'm not trying to hurt you."
The pit grew bigger. What was she getting at? She fucking knocked me out. If that's not an attempt at harm, I don't know what the fuck is.
Still though, she seemed kind of hurt by my tirade. Had I the presence of mind, I would've apologized.
However, anger, once released, was much harder to reign back in. So, naturally, I kept going.
"You fucking kidnapped me, you idiot!" I roared.
She sunk lower into her chair.
"You would've just gone further into the forest…" She muttered quietly.
"YES! That was the plan, you stupid cunt!" I countered angrily. "I was going to find a town, BUUUT NOOOO! Instead of giving me directions and sending me on my way like I FUCKING ASKED, you decided to knock me out and take me to your house!"
"What if another monster found you…?" She asked weakly.
"Then that would've been MY fault! Seriously, why do you even care what happens to me?" I asked.
Her expression went from sad, to frustrated, to enraged, all in that order. For context, that happened in less than four seconds.
… I have the distinct feeling I've fucked up horribly.
"BECAUSE I WANTED TO FUCKING HELP YOU, MORON!" She screamed. Gone was her emotionless mask, her sophisticated way of speaking having also fled the scene. What remained was an emotional wreck.
It felt like I had been doused with a bucket of cold water. I started to actually feel pretty bad. Of course, that remorse was overshadowed by pure, pants-shitting terror.
This had to be a ruse. For some reason, I just couldn't believe her. Yet, there was a growing part of me that bought into her lies.
"W-wha—" I stuttered, before she continued.
"I'm an orphan! My parents were killed before I turned twelve! I spent YEARS by myself!" She roared. "I'm not going to let that happen to someone else!"
"But I'm no—" I began, before she cut me off once again.
"Don't start that "I'm not an orphan" bullshit with me!" She exclaimed. "You're obviously a runaway! Either your parents are dead, or they're abusive pieces of shit. I don't really care which is true at this point!"
…What?
How did she come to that conclusion?! I can't even begin to fathom where she got that from.
"What the fuck?" I asked. "That's not even remotely true! I have wonderful parents!"
She did not like that particular declaration.
"Oh, really?" She asked. "Then why did you avoid every single question I asked about your life?"
… Maybe I did sound a little suspicious. Still, I thought it was pretty obvious I wasn't abused. I'm not sure what the signs are, but I don't think I exhibit any of them.
"Stop jumping to conclusions." I snapped. "I admit that I've dodged your questions, but you are so far off the mark that it's laughable."
She crossed her arms, scowling.
"Oh, is that right?" She asked, glaring angrily. "Then tell me what I'm wrong about. Tell me the truth."
She emphasized 'truth'. I had a feeling that lying was a particularly bad idea. However, I kind of had to. There's no way she'd believe the truth. She'd just assume I was lying.
"Well, It's not a situation I can really talk about…" I said, my hands out in a placating gesture. "Trust me though, there's nothing to worry about."
I prayed to whatever deity that was out there that she would believe me.
Of course, she didn't.
"Of course you can't." She growled. "Stop bullshitting me."
Fuuuuuuuck.
Okay, let's see if I can somehow fix this situation.
"I know that it might sound like I'm lying, but I really can't tell you." I said. "You wouldn't believe the true story."
Wait, why did I say that?
She stood up from her chair, slamming her hands down on the table.
"Try me." She growled.
Well… Shit. What do I do now? Do I… Do I lie? No, that's a terrible idea.
Fuck it. Just… Fuck it. I'm going all in.
"I'm… actually in my twenties." I said. "Recently, I woke up in this body after having died horribly."
Her eyes, full of fury, narrowed dangerously.
"No." She ground out, glaring at me with full intensity. "I don't believe you."
That was expected, but still unfortunate.
"I've had enough of your lies." She said. "I've been trying to help you, but you've made it so difficult."
She took another step towards me, reaching out to grab my arm. I stumbled backwards, keeping distance between us.
I didn't believe for a second that she wanted to help me. It was obvious that she was incredibly pissed at me, to the point where she looked like she might toss me out a fuckin' window.
Still, the way she spoke of my parents pissed me off so much that I just had to say something about it.
"My parents are wonderful people!" I growled. "Don't you dare insult them by suggesting that they were abusive!"
She closed her eyes for a moment, and then took a deep breath.
"If you weren't a runaway, you wouldn't be miles away from any human village." She quietly stated, her anger having been temporarily reigned in. "Perhaps you do have good parents, but you ran away for some reason."
She was calming down. That was a good sign… I think. Maybe if I continue to tell the same story, she'll eventually believe me.
"I woke up in the forest a while ago." I said, attempting to keep my pissiness from bleeding into my voice. "Again, I'm in my twenties, and I woke up in this body after dying horrifically."
Her eyes narrowed, and I instantly knew that I had blown it.
"Why would you tell me such an obvious lie?" She asked. "It just makes me trust your words even less."
Okay, new plan. Since she wouldn't believe me, and she probably wouldn't let me go, I just had to run for it.
We can probably all agree that it was a stupid idea, but what else could I do?
For a moment, I just sat there, trying to seem like I was thinking up an answer. Then, in an explosion of movement, I shot up from my seat, and practically dove for the door.
"Where do you think you're going?!" She roared, throwing the table out of her way.
I didn't answer. Instead, I kicked the door open, and attempted to get the hell out of there.
I say 'attempted' because she immediately grabbed me by the back of my shirt.
"I'm tired of your foolish antics." She growled. "I've done nothing but try to help you, and yet all you've done is throw it back in my face."
…You know, this might not be the best time to mention this, but the way she's leaning over me gives me a really nice view of her cleavage.
I'd think it was hot if I wasn't so terrified.
"You wouldn't let me leave." I said, attempting to placate her anger. "I simply did what I thought was necessary."
Suddenly, she picked me up, slinging me over her shoulder. I panicked, struggling against her. Yet no matter what I tried, she wouldn't relinquish her hold of me.
"W-what are you doing?" I stuttered.
She began walking out of the house, taking me with her.
"I have come to realize that I can't talk sense into you." She said, her voice practically smoldering with rage. "But, I know someone who can."
As she walked through the quaint little village, I spotted multiple women peeking out from houses, doorways, and corners. Some of them looked curious, others were wary. However, a couple of the gazes seemed… hungry. Like, if it weren't for the woman currently holding me, they would've probably fucking jumped me.
Is this how a cow feels when they're being stalked by coyotes?
Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with this place? First the slime, and now this? Was I just in a weird region, or was everywhere like this?
"I fucking hate this town." I grumbled lowly. Still, the woman carrying me seemed to hear it, scoffing in indignation. I wasn't even sure why. I was insulting the town, not her.
We began to approach a large building that was primarily made of stone. From looking at it, it was obvious that this structure in particular was much, much older than the wooden houses which surrounded it. The door was large, and looked very sturdy. It could probably tank a few hits.
The woman knocked on the door, the sound seemingly enhanced by the sheer size of the entrance. There was silence for a moment, before the door opened, revealing an attractive blonde-haired woman.
The blonde-haired woman blinked in surprise at the sight before her, seemingly caught off-guard.
"…Why don't you two come in?" She eventually muttered, ushering us inside.
Her house was very warm on the inside. I could feel myself begin to sweat just by being in there. Other than that though, it seemed rather comfy. It was well-lit, there were paintings and other decorations on the walls, and the furniture seemed really nice.
"Now, Yuri," The blonde-haired woman began, addressing the woman currently carrying me "Would you mind explaining what's going on?"
Before she could speak, I butted in.
"Hey, could you put me down before you have your little pow-wow?" I asked. "My side is startin' to hurt because your fuckin' shoulder is digging into my hip."
She glared up at me.
"Will you try to run again if I let you go?" She asked, her voice cold. I wasn't sure why she asked that. We both knew that she would catch me.
The blonde-haired woman watched our interaction, a somewhat concerned expression on her face.
"Yuri," The woman said. "Please put him down."
Yuri hesitated for a moment, before begrudgingly releasing me. Knowing better than to run away, I simply stood beside her.
"Micaela, I wanted you to talk sense into this boy." Yuri said, sounding exasperated. "I've been trying to help him, but he won't listen to me."
Wait, the blonde-haired woman's name was Micaela? That sounded… familiar. I couldn't quite place it, but…
Holy shit.
HOLY SHIT!
This world was monster girl quest.
A/N: I tried to make Yuri someone who was well-meaning, but still a little jacked up in the head. That's why she's so clingy. I don't know if I did a good job though. Honestly, this chapter went on for waaaaaay longer than I meant it to. It's at over six and a half thousand words.
Also, I tried to make it so the main character had anger issues, or something similar. He's not supposed to be likable, so don't complain about him being boring. If there's anything to complain about, it's the terrible plot.
… I should probably get back to working on The Friday's End.
