Chapter 109

January 19th, 2022

Logan had just finished his mid-week conference call with his employees that morning. The business was going well, but he could already sense some dissatisfaction, or at the very least, confusion on the fact that he wasn't grabbing every straw to make his little start-up grow rapidly. That was what most business was about, wasn't it? There were fundings and projects to apply for, challenges and hackathons to compete in, risks to take… but he wasn't hearing any of it. And sure, he knew that to fulfill his investors' goals it needed the business to grow. It did, it already had. But he was being extremely cautious about having it grow exponentially. He'd seen the workload grow, he'd seen the number of staff grow - but he desperately wanted to avoid switching back into anything similar his work at the HPG had been. He didn't want that kind of pressure - that kind of responsibility. It was almost like he was afraid of success, fearing it'd pull him along like a tidal-wave. Realistically the real challenge was keeping a fine balance between success and staying small - almost something from the repertoire of the degrowth movement. He didn't really know how to do that either.

About all of this he'd talked to his therapist extensively over the past two weeks. But he really felt like he was just scratching the surface of it.

But the minute the conference call ended and he got up to stretch himself, there was the perfect distraction, scattering all of those thoughts of uncertainty. He'd figured out a clever way to keep Loki busy while he had his meetings - a toy ball into which he'd hidden a few treats usually kept him occupied pretty well. The schedule was pretty tight with a puppy - every few hours there was a reason to take him outside, even if just for a few minutes. But workwise - it truly was the perfect balance. Logan had heard the recommendations of at least a dozen workplace ergonomics advisors, health specialists - even Marjorie repeating her mantra to look after him - "one should get up every hour and rest one's eyes, back... mind for 10 minutes". But naturally it had never been a feasible option. Now he was doing this out of free will and only in part because he had to.

He stepped into his sneakers and pulled on his coat. That move, along with getting Loki's harness from the hook, was enough to alert him - no words, which the dog wouldn't have heard anyways, necessary. It was strange. Logan did talk to him, but less so than he'd expected, the few times he'd tried and gotten no response, working strangely discouragingly. He was learning quickly, as was Loki. Hence their exit from the apartment contained no such sweet-talk or encouragement, but it was the puppy's body language that he studied, almost as if they were both in a way handicapped in understanding each-other. The slightly wagging tail, a species trait considering his curved tail, and his observant eye-contact with him spoke of excitement though.

Loki was nowhere ready for lengthy trail runs just yet, everything just being too interesting and needing to be explored from his point of view, keeping their pace slow and Loki's attention span short. But it didn't mean they didn't take longer walks - Logan just needed to be prepared to carry him part of the way or simply take his car to reach some further destination. But it did give him that added sense of purpose, something he frankly didn't understand why he hadn't done sooner. Maybe something like this would've stopped him from crashing as hard as he had a year ago? But then again - perhaps a hard crash was just what he'd needed to get to this point.

Currently Logan was just taking a casual stroll along the small pocket park right by his apartment building, having seconds ago nodded casually to a neighbor that had passed him. What he hadn't expected though, was the sudden buzz of his phone, the initial reaction being that this must've been something to do with the business.

His reaction, seeing his sister's certainly felt like a relief, being happy to hear from her. But it was quickly followed by dread of the possible reasons she could be calling about.

"Hey, sis," he picked up cheerily, not wanting his hesitancy to show. He felt he owed her that much.

"Hey!" Honor replied energetically. "Listen, we have a bit of a situation…" she began, and Logan could already feel his blood pressure rise with the sound of those words.

Logan was already mentally preparing himself to delve into the inner workings of the HPG.

"Alright," he said with an involuntary shrug.

"So mom finally found out about you and Rory," Honor let out an exhale but didn't elaborate.

"Ah-ah," Logan noted, having been in part expecting this. But he'd kind of hoped this part would've just been skipped, forgotten about - and ignored by his mother, pretending it wasn't a part of her disillusional world. Her opinions towards Rory had never been a secret and with that in mind Shira really hadn't been at the top of the guest list at their wedding, despite having briefly thought about it.

"Not about the wedding even, I think... I sure wasn't going to be the one to tell her about it. But apparently one of her friends blabbered out that you and her were buying Gunderson's old place," Honor explained.

"Right," Logan sighed. He had no idea of the connection. The guy they were buying the place from was not named Gunderson, but these were small circles and that shouldn't have been a big surprise.

"And she wants to have dinner with the two of you," Honor replied, cautiously, already sensing Logan's opposition.

"Yeah, that's not going to happen…," Logan replied. One thing was humoring her mother to a dinner once or twice a year, but for the life of him he couldn't find a good reason why he would ever subject Rory to that woman ever again. Especially after what had happened with Odette. He could just picture it so clearly - one wrong word, something about Odette's baby or how their wedding had been perfect. He just didn't want to do it.

"It doesn't have to be at her place, I could host it..," Honor didn't give up. She was right about the fact though that doing it on her turf would caution Shira considerably.

"Why? Why should I?" Logan replied, abruptly, and even though Loki couldn't hear him, even he noticed his change in body language from relaxed to frustrated.

"Because what else has she? She's all alone, she's rethinking a lot of things. When I spoke to her she was actually sober as far as I could tell. None of her usual… happy fluff," Honor explained, always being the more empathetic one of the two. "She's lonely...," she added, in a sad tone.

"Well maybe she should've thought of that a few decades ago," Logan replied, defensively. His gaze focused on Loki for a minute, directing him away from a suspiciously dirty pile of snow, just in case, as the puppy would literally taste anything new he found. This little distraction, however, was good enough to direct his thoughts away from her mother's actions in relation to Rory and Odette.

"You're going to have to tell her about the engagement eventually," Honor chimed in, having sensed Logan's fury scattering a little at least.

"I don't know. Do I?" he shrugged, for a moment flirting with the idea of cutting her out completely. Frankly he was surprised Shira didn't know already. They'd posted it online and everything. Was it just about having him tell her why she wanted to see them?

"Oh come on, Logan. What, you're just going to avoid her forever? First you avoid the company, I know how much you want to steer clear of it," Honor said in an accusatory tone. "Then next you'll change your name, keep your kids from her. What's next - cutting all ties with me too because I remind you too much of the past?" Honor exclaimed in all honesty, suggesting a number of things that had already crossed his mind but which he hadn't yet spoken to her.

"Don't go putting words in my mouth. That's not what I said," Logan argued.

"It won't kill you. Rory is a big girl. You got your second, or I don't know… umpteenth try with Rory, why doesn't she deserve a new chance? With you, with Rory..." Honor suggested.

Logan wanted to argue, but the way Loki was finding enjoyment in a particularly fluffy pile of snow, finding it annoying when snow got onto his nose and tried to get rid of it, just didn't let him. The sight was just too adorable. Loki was making him an old softy.

"I'm not promising anything…," Logan replied, knowing this needed to go through Rory first.