Attelus stood against the balcony of the main building of the refectories, leaning slouched against the wall and smoking a Lhos stick while gazing across the haze covered city, aptly called Port Suffering. The smell of the Lho somewhat helped with the horrid stench clogging his nose, his mouth, his tear ducts. To the east was the administratum building; the Counting House towered over the rust ridden, a brown and dark red hodgepodge of the run-down world around it. Its black monolith stone structure, such a stark contrast that even if it weren't so tall, it'd stand out. To the north, right in the middle of this damned "city", was the spaceport, which rose even higher than the Counting House but wasn't so grim and black.
'God-Emperor, I frigging hate this place,' he said.
'"God-Emperor"?' said Darrance as he approached. 'You don't use that one too often, apprentice."
And I will use it even less now, Attelus thought, fighting back a frightened flinch. 'Really must emphasise how much I hate this shit-hole, then,' Attelus sniffed.
Darrance laughed. 'Indeed, so. I hate it too. Next thing we know, I might start praying that the Inquisitor gets here soon to pick us up.'
Attelus sniffed again. 'Hey, in all honesty, it could help. I won't be stopping you.'
'Any word from her, yet?'
'Darrance, I only sent the message four hours ago; what do you think?'
The pilot shrugged. 'I know, I am just desperate to leave as well. Why did we have to land here again?'
'Because it's quite close to Scintilla, galactically speaking, but not too close and a webway gate a good distance from anywhere for us to use.'
Darrance grimaced and swiped his hand dismissively. 'Not a good enough reason in my view.'
'Whatever,' said Attelus.
'Speaking of Elandria...'
Attelus' eyes shot to Darrance, his teeth clenching. Darrance looked back at him with eyes that swelled with what seemed to be sympathy. That'd been Elandria's catchphrase.
'What about Elandria?'
'Well, Elandria, she used to say "whatever" a lot did she now? She is still alive, to an extent. Do you...do you want to talk about it?'
'I don't know how talking about it will help anything, Darrance,' said Attelus. 'She's...she's gone. She's still gone. It's not her any more.'
Darrance shook his head. 'Maybe, but you said it before, she still has her mind, literally, and-'
'That's enough, frig it.'
Darrance's face darkened. 'If you are right, will you be able to do it?'
'Do what?'
'For Emperor's sake, Attelus, do not play stupid. You know what I mean.'
Attelus took the almost burnt out Lho from his lips between index finger and thumb, flicked it off the balcony and sighed. 'Anything on Hayden?'
An anger ridden grimace crossed Darrance's haughty, sharp features. Attelus knew the anger meant "do not change the subject," but he didn't care. It was still strange Saderth Darrance with short hair; for years beforehand, Darrance always had his hair long and tied back. Attelus just kept watching Darrance before popping out another Lho from his plasteek case.
'He is still sulking in his room,' said Darrance, finally seeming to give up. 'Both Adelana and Delathasi are standing guard at his door while I am here.'
While nodding, Attelus lit his new Lho stick with his igniter. 'Good. Although, he's not the only one who hates me now. Tathe, Karmen do too.'
Darrance raised an eyebrow. 'Karmen? Why? Is that why you two stopped your...excursions during our time with the Eldar?'
'Let's just say I frigged up, yet again,' said Attelus fighting the urge to throw his Lho on the rockcrete floor.
'I already knew that, apprentice,' said Darrance, grinning. 'It is the story of your life, is it not? You have not run out of those yet?'
'Almost. But being the clever little frigger I am, I bought some more when we got here.'
'You-'
'Oh, for frig's sake, Darrance, are you going to lecture me on the evils of smoking, too?'
'No. Where is Kalakor?'
'Hmm, don't know. He would've slipped in when we went through the gates, so he's probably scouting about knowing him.'
'But you do not know him, do you? Not really.'
'But I don't know frig about you, either. Do I?'
'True. But I'm not a Space Marine who can go invisible and penetrate the warp to travel places, so...'
'Touché, as far as I know, anyway. I can never win against you, can I, Darrance?'
'Maybe one day. I have been at this snarking thing for much longer than you have. Attelus, you have been avoiding it, but maybe you should try speaking to Hayden. That was what I meant to say earlier.'
Attelus sighed again and scratched his scalp rapidly. 'For frig's sake...'
'You have to do it.'
'Will he want to talk to me?'
'Probably not. But you are meant to be our leader.'
'I frigging shouldn't have been.'
Darrance shrugged. 'Lead with that if that is what you believe. That is one of the reasons why he "hates" you.'
'Well, he shouldn't be the leader, either, in all honesty.'
'I agree, but he thinks so.'
'What happened to us, Darrance? What the hell happened to us?'
'We went into hell, Attelus. A world corrupted by the warp, and that corruption infected all of us. Some of us were found more wanting than others. Hayden came the closest of all of us into falling into that pit. Him and Vark, but Vark's dead at Commissar Tathe's hand. But Hayden can still fall...'
Attelus nodded and pushed himself off the wall, and threw away his Lho. 'Yeah, okay. Let's get this over and damn well done with, then.'
He began for the doors, and Darrance fell in step with him. 'You should not be so dismissive. After Sarkeath, I don't think anyone came out of that world unscathed,' said Darrance. 'Psychologically, I mean. I was lucky; I was in the Guncutter waiting in orbit for most of it but, Hayden, Karmen, Tathe and his men. Adelana, you...'
Attelus shrugged; he understood exactly what Darrance meant, so try not being too hard on them.
But it didn't matter if he wasn't hard on them; what mattered was what the Inquisitor did. The Eldar claimed they were cleared of corruption, but Attelus didn't know if that would matter to her at all.
Darrance and Attelus walked down the plain stone black walls and floors of the refectory's corridor. It was only about a metre and half wide, and the tall walls seemed to enclose on Attelus like a nightmare. Light angled through the right-side lead-lined windows about five metres above. The now almost foreign whirring of the air recyclers rumbled inside Attelus' ears.
It was a paradise compared to the rusting, smog coated hell-hole outside, but it couldn't have been more of a stark contrast to the white, articulated, alien world of the Eldar vessel they'd left behind. Familiarity breeds contempt, as they say, and this couldn't have been more true with Attelus and "The Intimidation Factor." Many of the Imperium's buildings were built for just seemed cartoonish and almost foolish now. Before his induction into the Inquisition and augmentation, he had faced down a rampaging, stimmed up and highly augmented Arco-Flaggelant and years before, that one of the infamous alien, lizard-like mercenaries a Loxatil. After that, Etuarq's extremely powerful psychic puppet Inquisitor Nonin Edracian and, after that, frigging Space Marines. Then on Sarkeath, he had held out against one the most terrifying and powerful creatures ever to exist, a Bloodthirster of the Blood God. He had utterly no hope of winning against; all he could do was dodge and dart its endless onslaught of attacks until exhaustion completely overtook him; he only survived because of the intervention of his father and his...brainwashed agents, then Attelus' friends. But even still, all of this while anxiety and fear fuelled adrenaline smashing through his every inch. If he could face those terrifying things, a building was less than nothing.
Besides, Attelus had seen first-hand how easily a sustained orbital bombardment could level buildings such as these. Which wasn't a comforting thought; now he was walking through one, in all honesty.
They turned off into a side corridor to find Adelana and Delathasi standing at a door about halfway down. Attelus felt sorry for Adelana; guard duty was a frigging bore. It annoyed Attelus Darrance had Adelana guarding Hayden without his consultation as he could've got someone else to do it. But Adelana didn't seem to mind as she chatted away with her fellow apprentice in a soft, amicable exchange.
'Young mamzel Delathasi, young mamzel Adelana,' said Darrance as they approached. 'Getting along well, I see.'
Delathasi nodded a nod which almost made her chin hit her throat. 'Yes, master.'
Darrance smiled. 'That is good to see. I am glad to see you two are being friendly.'
Delathasi and Adelana exchanged glances.
'Delathasi,' said Darrance. 'I have been meaning to speak of this to you for a while, but I have been quite pre-occupied, but after your exemplary performance on Sarkeath, I am going to recommend you face the trials.'
Delathasi gaped and exchanged a glance with Adelana. 'Are you...Are you sure, master?'
'Of course, I am sure,' said Darrance as if it was the most ridiculous question ever uttered, and Attelus actually tended to agree.
Delathasi had performed far and beyond the call of duty. Attelus just hoped the young woman would survive it. Not long after the death of Omnartus, Attelus had gone through the trials to become a full-fledged finally assassin, then the trials to become a master-assassin in the eyes of the Cult. Until then and thereafter, a Cult that had been an unknown distant thing which Attelus held no care or loyalty towards, but his ascension was necessary so he could access the Cult's vast resources and recruit elite killers for Jelcine Enandra's cause. Attelus had taken both of those trials over the period of three weeks; no other member of the Cult had managed both trials over such a short time, and Attelus' only survived due to the enhancements given to him by Farseer Faleaseen.
And Attelus sure as hell never wanted to go through that torture ever again.
Attelus stole a glance at Adelana, who smiled at Delathasi, her new friend? He'd never considered the two of them getting along so well, but it made sense; both were in similar situations. Both were sweethearts despite everything they'd been through.
Darrance had seen this, though. Perhaps he should be the leader instead of Attelus?
Delathasi seemed to fade into the background for Attelus, but that was because she didn't adhere to his ideal of beauty; he knew he could be shallow sometimes. He should've learned that when he was so dismissive of Adelana's friend Seleen three years ago when he came close to leaving her to be killed by Space Marines during their escape of Taryst's tower if it hadn't been for Adelana begging him to save her.
Then it turned out Seleen wasn't just from Velrosia too, but she was a truly kind person who was there for Adelana the whole way.
Attelus looked back to Adelana; even if she weren't leaving, he wouldn't let her go through the trials; he couldn't risk losing her to that farce; she was too valuable to the Inquisition.
And to him.
And he doubted she'd ever want to; she'd been there with him when he'd gone through it and...
'Excuse us, ladies,' said Darrance, bringing Attelus back to reality. 'We are here to speak to Hayden.'
'Yep!' said Adelana. 'Head on in.'
Darrance nodded and opened the door, and headed inside; Attelus followed.
'Th-thank you,' said Attelus to Adelana, which made her raise an eyebrow.
'Okay, Attelus,' she said with a giggle that shook her ponytail. 'Thank you, to you too, I suppose.'
Attelus felt his face flush wild as both Delathasi and Adelana laughed.
With the lights off, Hayden was a shadow among shadows in the small space as he sat on his bed, his back to Attelus and Darrance as they entered. The sniper was hunched forwards so badly it made Attelus try to straighten his own posture.
'What do you want?' said Hayden, his voice the ghost of a croak.
It took a second for Attelus' photo-contacts to adjust to low-light vision. But Hayden wore his syn skin bodyglove, so he was still an almost indistinguishable blob from the neck down.
'We just wish to talk, old friend,' said Darrance.
'Old friend? Old friend? The old friend who stalks me where ever I go? And lectures me? Has people guard my door?'
'Darrance was just doing what I asked him to,' said Attelus. 'I'm in charge here, so if there's any one who you should be upset with, it's me, not him.'
Hayden snorted. 'I'm already upset with you, and I have no interest in talking to you. You young fool.'
'As I said, Hayden: I'm in charge here, so we're talking whether you want to or not.'
'Attelus Kaltos, the tyrant, huh? Pretty good ring, actually. Or I should say "in all honesty"? The power's gone to your head, eh?'
Attelus sighed. 'In all...I didn't want to be the leader of this expedition, Hayden. I shouldn't have been placed in charge, at all, in all...And if I was a tyrant, if this pathetic level of power had gone to my head, you'd likely be already dead.'
'Aww, it's such a burden, isn't it? Boohoo woe is me, I'm Attelus "billions of people are dead because of me, and I keep my scar so I can remember my mistakes, but I'll keep going because "purpose", blah, blah...blah," Kaltos. What a load of crap.'
Darrance frowned and shared a glance with Attelus. Darrance's head seemed to float in the green-lit room.
'Hayden, we are here because we are concerned for you,' said Darrance. 'If you are like this when we get back to the Inquisitor; she might-'
'Kill me? I would rather die than deal with this crap. I would rather die than work under Attelus any more.'
'Well, once we're back, you won't have to,' said Attelus. 'But please try to appreciate our perspective; what you almost did was-'
'Was what? Evil? Frig it, Attelus, we are employed in the damned Inquisition! How many worlds besides Omnartus have died at their order over the millennia? Thousands? Millions? You are the history buff; you should know. Those "innocent civilians" were a pittance in comparison to that. It was either them or all of us dying in complete agony.'
Darrance said, 'Obviously not, Hayden-'
'Saderth, how was I supposed to know this fool would be able to free us? How was I supposed to know? Adelana said I should have had "faith" in you, but how could I in that situation?'
Hayden finally turned to them, his red filled eyes wide with anger, the bags around his eyes so sunken, they seemed ringed with blackness.
'Why is everyone on me? This little fool slaughtered-'
'This is not about him, Hayden. We have already gone over this. At least Attelus regrets what he did, even if he did it without his control.'
'And what? I should regret something I didn't even do? If I had been in charge-'
'We would never have reached Sarkeath by now,' said Darrance. 'And we never would have received that lead to our enemy. The apprentice might be a pain in the rectum, sure, but he needed to take the lead on this.'
Attelus couldn't help roll his eyes; thanks, Darrance.
'Whatever you say, Saderth,' snapped Hayden. 'Then he should have handed leadership over after we arrived on that accursed planet.'
'To who, Hayden?' said Attelus, as he folded his arms across his chest. 'Who should I've given seniority to when we landed on Sarkeath?'
The sniper furrowed his brow for a second, then his eyes locked on Attelus.
'Let me guess,' said Attelus, 'I should've given it to you, then?'
Hayden grimaced. 'Yes.' Then he turned his back on them again.
'Old friend-'
'Darrance! If you call me "old friend" again, I cannot be responsible for what I'll do to you.'
Attelus was glad Hayden had his back to them as a smile slowly crossed Darrance's face, like a sword being drawn. Attelus knew an "I would like to see you try" smile when he saw one. And, well, Hayden would lose. Hayden was bereft of his Long-Las and not a close-quarters combat specialist like Darrance and Attelus, despite his size, not to mention Darrance had a powersword sheathed at his hip.
'With respect...friend,' said Darrance. 'You are talented at a great many things, but leadership ability is not on the top of that list.'
Hayden groaned and rubbed his face into his hands. 'This is how you are supposed to help me? Again, lecture me because I had the balls to-'
'Yeah, such frigging balls,' said Attelus as sudden anger overtook him. 'Such frigging balls that you backed down a split second after Tathe killed Vark. You didn't give a shit about the mission or sacrificing a few for the good of many, as you imply. You were just frigging scared. You were just afraid to die.'
Hayden launched to his feet and turned on them. 'You little bastard! Are you saying I'm a coward? What'd you have done if you were there, huh?'
'In all honesty, I don't know. Fear is ever-present in the back of my mind, Hayden. Forever tapping away at my will, so perhaps I would've been like you. So I won't...I can't call you a coward or judge you for that as it would make me a gigantic hypocrite.'
Hayden didn't say anything; he just glared at him.
'But...If you killed those people, your survival would've been proven pointless,' said Attelus. 'You would've been corrupted, lost to Chaos, rendering all of your struggle through the battle worthless. Betraying your humanity.'
'How do you know that?'
'Because it's obvious, Hayden, and you know it,' said Attelus. 'Why do you think General Tathe wanted you to kill them so damned badly? I think I think you need to recognise you made a mistake, the surviving soldiers of the Imperial Guard have realised that, why not you? I think I know why you're not perfect, Hayden. No one is, not even you. Let's go, Darrance.'
Darrance nodded, then they turned and left Hayden to lurk alone in his dark room.
