I haven't written in like a week. Oh and this week I'm going to have some trouble writing too because this it's Midterms, so I have a lot of tests and stuff to get ready for. Some one asked me how tall I was from way back, so I'm 6'5". Kind of scary for anybody who isn't use to a giant girl. Oh yeah, and everyone seemed to want Kyo to be with Tohru and Kyra to be with Haru, so I'll think about that. (A/N I can't tell you what I'm going to do because that would ruin the surprise.) Ok here is the story.
Point of No Return
Kyra's POV
I woke with a start. Instead of finding myself in that hut, I was in a bed inside the room I had been given. I vaguely remembered the night before up to the point where I fell asleep. A knock on the door caught my attention and I pulled my blanket up as a type of shield.
"Miss Titsugumi? Are you awake?" Asked a kind female voice. I was debating with myself for a moment before I invited her in. She was a middle-aged woman with brown hair pulled into a loose bun at the nape of her neck. She smiled at me and I smile back.
"How are you feeling today dear?"
"I feel better, thank you. Um, who are you?" I asked her my curiosity getting the better of me.
"My name is Danika Yaksita, I am a servant here, and a good friend of Hatsuharu's mother." I felt guilty about the way I had treated Haru yesterday so the sound of his name made me cringe.
"How is… he?" I was appalled at my own selfishness. Why didn't I talk out my problems with Haru instead of running away? I've probably driven him away for good now, I thought sadly.
"He stayed home from school today. He was out most of the night searching for you so his mother let him stay home." I felt fresh tears roll down my face. He searched for me even after I pushed him away.
I jumped out of my bed and ran to the window.
"Can I be alone for a minute please?" I asked Danika and she left me. I changed as fast as my broken wrist would allow and then I climbed from the window. It was over cast and looked like it was going to rain soon so I tried to move as fast a possible.
I stood in front of his house for five minutes before I could shore up the courage to knock. The rain began before the door even opened, slowly at first but then it seemed like a monsoon. Haru's mother stood in the door way.
"I need to speak to…" I began before she cut me off.
"I don't know why you rejected Haru. I don't know why you are here. But I do know that you are not welcome." With that she shut the door on my face. For the first time since I had met Haru I felt anger.
Anger at myself, anger at his mother, and anger at the stupid sky for raining on me.
I took a few steps back from the house and turned my face to the sky.
"Why do you hate me!" I yelled at the sky for a few minutes, but thunderclaps always blocked my words. My tears mixed with the rain and I turned to walk back to the main house when one of Haru's and my conversations came back. "If you need me at anytime my window is the second to the left." I whirled around and ran to his window. It was higher then my window and my mind was screaming.
I had come this far; I could deal with being short! I climbed a near by tree with my good arm and looked inside. He was lying on his bed sleeping. It could have been my imagination, or the light that made his eyes look slightly puffy as if he had been crying, but I clung to a tiny sliver of hope. With that new hope I propelled myself towards his window and grabbed the sill with one hand.
My plan kind of ended there so now I was dangling from a window with no where to go. Determination pushed me to swing my bad arm up. With it I forced the window open. With strength I didn't know I possessed I pulled myself up and into Haru's room.
I sat on his floor breathing heavily and sopping wet. I closed the window and just looked at him. I had been right, his eyes were swollen and my heart clenched at the thought of me causing those tears. Softly I kissed each of his eyelids as if that would fix everything then his lips, which I loved. I had to have one more kiss I kept telling myself and I would be fine for the rest of my life as long as I had one last kiss. Finally I turned to leave not glancing back at Haru knowing it would only cause more pain.
Reopening the window was a challenge, but I made it all right. I even lowered myself with my one arm again so all I had to do was let go and forget about Hatsuharu. I tried to make my fingers let go, but they seemed to have a mind of their own.
"Why does the world hate me?" I cried softly, since I had left the window open.
"The world may hate you, but I don't," said a voice from above me. I looked up to see Haru's exhausted eyes. "I woke up when you kissed me. I thought it had been a dream, but I looked and say the window open and had to know."
"I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble Haru, I'll leave you alone." I replied finally letting go. My feet never touched the ground. Haru had grabbed onto my wrist and was pulling me up into his room. "No, this will only make it worse," I sobbed trying to free myself. He shut the window when I was all the way in and turned to me.
"What is going on. One minute we're fine and happy. The next you are pushing me away. What's wrong?" Tears were still cascading down my face and I didn't know what to say.
"I'm afraid that if I got to close to you, you would reject me." Haru fell to the floor beside me and pulled me into his arms. At first I struggled, but my non-existent energy was gone. I lifted my arms and hugged him back. It just felt so right, how could it be wrong?
Rubbing my back softly Haru surprised me.
"There is something I didn't tell you about me." I froze. I knew I should be angry, or sad, but the prevailing emotion was relieved. We both had secrets. "When I was little, I was constantly angry. Because of the Zodiac story adults said, 'Oh the ox must have been so stupid to let the rat ride on him,' It was like they were calling me stupid and it was the rat's fault. So I developed a deep hatred for Yuki before I even knew him. My parents put me into a martial arts program to help release the anger, but it didn't work. One day I saw Yuki and it all came out. I said terrible things to him. 'It's the rats fault that I'm called a fool,' I said and Yuki just replied, 'Are you a fool?' I was so stunned all I could do was answer, 'no' but I was set free. All the anger from over the years was released and I felt better. But now I have two selves. White Haru whom you are use to, and Black Haru, who you have met a few times. Whenever I am very angry I become reckless and sometimes crude in my Black Haru self. I didn't tell you before because I was scared of rejection." I hugged Haru even tighter. Fresh tears came but this time they were from joy.
"You have no idea how that makes me feel," I said into his ear. Gently he pulled me away slightly so he could look me in the eye.
"I would if you told me," he replied pushing my wet hair from my face.
Haru's POV
I had just told her my secret. There was no rejection in her eyes, but there was a strange shadow. Thinking about what she said made me wonder. Why was she relieved that I had a secret?
"Haru, I also have a secret. But no one knows about mine. Yuki and everyone in your family knows about yours, but I have never told anyone mine before. I to am terrified of rejection and I have no idea how you will take this news." I was happy that she was gong to share her secret with me, but if I was the only one who knew then it must be huge.
"Well, here goes. As you know, when I was little I was kidnapped because my father was so rich. My mother drove herself mad waiting for my return. My father had never liked me, he only put up with me because my mother loved me so much, but when he lost her to insanity he blamed me. I grew up with just servants for friends, and they weren't even that. My father paid them extra to tell him if I did anything wrong. Sometimes they would make things up just for the money. He would beat me every time they said I had done something wrong so I developed a way to hide. During the beatings I would retreat within myself, there I could see what was happening on the outside, but I could not feel it."
"Slowly I have become dependant on that skill to keep from going insane myself. I started the technique while I was kidnapped. The men who had kidnapped me were… pedophiles. They would 'loan' me to people for periods of time so they could use me as they pleased. I was so traumatized by what these people made me do I started to pretend I wasn't there when it was happening. Like I was watching a movie, a horrible, sick, disgusting movie." She stopped her body was shaking. I was horrified by her past. I realized then that her gift was not what she was afraid of, it was her past. She probably was thought of a 'damaged property' to some people because of what those people did to her.
I held her while she shook, my heart running a mile a minute in my chest. I wished I could find those people and kill them with my bare hands. Black Haru was here and I could not be held responsible for anything I did.
Kyra's past is so horrible. I was told a while ago that I switched points of view to often, so this one was almost completely Kyra. Well, I better start my homework or I'm gonna be barbecued by my teachers. I hope to hear from everyone on what they thought. Ok bye now!
