Hey...

Summary: She wonders if he knows what love is. What happens when he tries to salvage the relationship with the son that he knowingly abandoned? Does she let him back into their lives? Does he get the life he always wanted but was too scared to have?

Again, thanks for reading. Please tell me what you think. Flashbacks in italics.

Suddenly Everything Has Changed
CHAPTER 3

The salty droplets dripped down steadily onto the crisp white paper. Every month after he had left the papers would arrive at his house. And like clockwork, three days later, she would find them on her front porch once again, no return address, nobody in sight. There was always a small envelope attached, it smelled of him, but she never opened it. She had a box, inside sat 39 unopened, perfectly preserved, white envelopes, all with her name printed neatly in his writing.

He picked up the pen slowly in his shaky hand and placed the tip to the paper. He was finally going to give her what she deserved from him so long ago, freedom. He had tried to hold on, have hope that one day they could be a family, but he knew now that it would never be. He had to let her go, let her live her life, let their son live his life.

He stood awkwardly on the front steps, not quite sure if he should enter like he normally does or knock. He wiped his sweaty hands along his jeans and tried to take a deep breath in. Suddenly the door swung open and his eyes fell to his beautiful son.

"Hi Lucas." The boy smiled widely up at him causing his heart to ache for the boy. He slowly knelt down to his level, a semi-forced smile on his face.

"Hey Ryan." Lucas said ruffling his blonde hair between his fingers. "Is you're mommy here?"

He shook his head no. "She went out."

"Ok, what about Peyton?" Lucas questioned him. Again he shook his head no. "Well who is home?"

"Jake." Ryan stated.

"Can you take me to him?" Lucas questioned. Ryan nodded and grabbed his hand and pulled him into the house. Lucas stumbled along, his heart racing as he held his son's hand.

"Jake!" Ryan yelled through the otherwise empty house. He drug Lucas through countless rooms until he finally found Jake sitting on the floor playing with Jenny. "Lucas is here." Ryan said tapping Jake impatiently on the shoulder.

Jake's eyes shot up and met Lucas'. He stood quickly, ignoring the protest from Jenny and stood before him. "Jenny, why don't you and Ryan go play in the next room?" Jake threw over his shoulder. He waited for them to leave before continuing. "Ryan is a kid from down the street." Jake said lamely.

Lucas' lips instinctively curled up into a smirk, Jake was never one for the whole 'lying' thing, and he was so easy to read. "Where's Brooke?" Lucas questioned, letting it slide for a while.

"Her and Peyton went shopping." Jake said taking a seat on the couch and motioning for Lucas to sit also. Jake cleared his throat nervously as he shifted his body. "So what brings you by?"

"Oh, I uh, just wanted to give something to Brooke." Lucas said holding up the envelope slightly. Jake eyed him suspiciously.

"What is…" Jake said but was interrupted by Ryan running into the room, tripping, and the ball he was carrying flying and landing in Lucas' lap. Lucas leaned forward and helped Ryan back to his feet.

Ryan laughed as he took the ball back from Lucas. His soft laugh echoed loudly in Lucas' ears long after the child stopped. "Wanna play Lucas?"

"I can't right now." Lucas said sadly. The boy's face fell and Lucas' heart sunk. "Maybe some other time."

"Over my dead body." Brooke, who had apparently heard the interaction, burst through the entrance and stood angrily in front of the three boys. Peyton entered and picked Ryan up and stood safely behind Jake. "What the hell do you think you are doing here?"

"I just came by to drop this off." He said handing her the large envelope. She snatched it from his hands and glared expectantly at him. He shifted nervously under her intense gaze, not quite sure what to do.

"Well?" Brooke prompted him. He shoved his hands deep in his pockets and his gaze fell to the floor. "You gave it to me, you can leave now." He nodded solemnly and turned his back and trudged dejectedly to the door. He hadn't known exactly what he had expected, but he figured that it was about right.

He rested his fingers on the small gold knob, but something was stopping him from leaving. He kept hearing his son laugh and he knew he couldn't walk away again. He took a deep breath in attempt to calm his rapidly beating heart but he knew it was no use. He turned around quickly before he lost the courage and walked back into the living room. "I want to be in his life." He whispered, almost inaudibly, but loud enough to grab the other's attention.

Jake and Peyton quickly excused themselves from the room, leaving a crying Brooke and a scared Ryan sitting on the couch in front of him. "Excuse me?" Brooke managed to choke out between sobs.

Lucas knelt down in front of Ryan and tried his best to keep himself composed. "Hey buddy, can you let me and your mom talk? Why don't you go practice for our game?" Ryan nodded and quickly exited the room.

Brooke finally found the strength to meet his piercing blue eyes. "You know?" She questioned softly. She unknowingly pulled herself away from him and wrapped her arms securely around her legs to protect herself. He ran his hand over his face and nodded slightly. "I'm going to kick Nathan's ass." She mumbled furiously.

Lucas subconsciously moved closer to her, his eyes falling from hers and intently inspecting the tan carpet. "I've known." He whispered remorsefully. He shakily wiped away some stray tears that had managed to slip out and spoke again. "It's why I left."

She felt a new surge overtake her body and swiftly rose to her feet; her tears dried almost instantly and her body heated up. "You knew!" She screamed loudly, he answered with a silent nod. Her hand impulsively crashed against the side of his face and sent him stumbling backwards. "How could you?" She screamed in his face.

"I was scared." He mumbled. Her chest heaved up and down rapidly as she stared at the boy she now hated. She never knew she could feel so much hatred for a man that she loved so much.

Brooke scoffed. "So was I! But I could never just walk away from him. It was one thing when you abandoned me, but knowingly abandoning your own child?" She laughed bitterly. "How's it feel Luke?" She said oblivious to her use of his nickname. His eyes rose to hers, confusion was evident in them. "How's it feel to know you're just like Dan?"

Her words stung viciously at his heart. She was right, he had turned into the man he despised his whole life. He had worked so hard to never be like him, but in the end he lost the battle. "Congratulations Danny junior." She spat at him.

He stood motionless as her words sunk deeper and deeper into his mind. "I'm sorry." He mumbled weakly as the tears streamed down his face.

"I'm sorry too." She said equally as soft. His clouded blue eyes met her brown ones. She licked her lips as her tears trailed down her cheeks too. His heart shattered into millions of pieces at her next words, and he finally realized how bad he had hurt her. "I'm sorry I ever married you, I'm sorry that I ever fell in love with you…I'm sorry I ever met you."

He watched helplessly as she slipped the small gold band from her finger and tossed it at his feet. He knelt down and picked up the ring and held it tightly in his grasp. "I never stopped loving you Brooke." He stated.

She nodded, and reached behind her and opened the front door. His head sunk lower and walked through the doorway. "Me too." She whispered to his back. He paused mid-stride, almost unseen, and then continued to shuffle down the stairs.

He pressed the pen harshly against the paper, his name indenting the document. He lifted the crystal glass in his hand and took another long sip, the liquid burned as it ran down his throat. He dated the paper and slid it into the large manila envelope.

He grabbed a sheet of paper from beside him and began to write. His tears stained the paper but he didn't care, he had to finish this letter. He had to let his feelings be known, he couldn't live like this anymore. His eyes turned slightly to his glass, that was now empty and he grunted. Laying the pen on the paper he grabbed another bottle from the small fridge in his office and held it to his lips as the liquid poured down his throat.

He sat roughly back into the leather chair and continued to write, stopping every couple of seconds to further empty the bottle. He read over his letter, and signed his name at the bottom. His tongue ran across the adhesive and he sealed the envelope and laid it on the larger one. He stood abruptly and held the bottle vertically to let the liquid rush into his mouth.

He stumbled around aimlessly as the room fell darker. He could have sworn he saw someone standing in the corner. He reached out and grasped at the air causing him to fall forward and crash onto the couch. Pain seared through his head as he tried to stand so he decided to stay lying down. His eyelids became heavy as he scanned the room. He gripped the gold ring in his hand as the whole room went black.

Suddenly a jolt radiated down his arm, his chest tightened as he tried to sit up. He stumbled over to the desk and punched in the familiar numbers. A deafening ringing echoed through his ears and he could feel the blood rushing around behind his eyes. "Hello?" He heard as the phone crashed against the wooden desk. His body fell limply to the surface, papers crashing down around him as his body folded to the floor.

He could hear a distant voice, but he couldn't hear who it was. He struggled to move; to just open his eyes, but the intense pain running throughout his body wouldn't let him. The person shook his shoulder but he couldn't move; his body shook limply in their hands. There was a faint cry, 'Lucas', it said and then, he couldn't hear anything.