A/N: Answers to a few questions:

Why did I choose the name Desecration? It is a play on the use of the term Unforgivables. These curses are unforgivable and so are named such. In my story, rape is even worse than these and therefore I choose a term for it that would express that horror. I chose desecration because rape destroys and befouls the person's soul and ruins their relationship with their magic, thus killing them.

Will Harry die in the end? No, he won't die. But it will be close.

Will it be Severus/Remus? Yes, as the votes swung heavily in that favor. I won't be dismissing Sirius completely though and I warn you now that the end of this chapter has Severus and Remus finally getting together. It is graphic, but I don't think it goes over the M or R rating.

What about Narcissa? She will be coming back soon. She just needed time to come to terms with everything, but Draco will give her the cold shoulder for a while until he really believes she won't try and separate or hurt them again. I personally don't see her as a bad guy. She was just a distraught mother fearing for her child's life. I mean, Harry is in a bad state and being so bonded to another, even without the whole Voldemort and Desecration thing, is not the most comfortable of notions. Especially to Slytherins who pride their independence and power over others and self-control.

What about Dumbledore? He is going to try and make Harry into his weapon, but he does care about Harry's overall well being and won't do anything to severely hurt him. He will be a bad good guy, I guess. I think he will try to get the boys to trust him as much as they trust Severus, but I don't think he will do anything too drastic as he is afraid of losing the boys' trust completely.

Chapter Seventeen

Harry woke with a smile. He was really warm and something was softly running down his cheek. Opening his eyes, he smiled as he found Draco propped up beside him smiling. The white blonde curtain of hair was draped over his shoulder and pooling behind and between them. Harry curled his fingers in it sleepily and closed his eyes again.

"Well? Aren't you going to tell me?" Draco demanded, but Harry could hear the playfulness in his voice and knew his friend wasn't really mad.

"Maybe." He smirked and cuddled deeper into the blankets around him.

"Oh. I see how it is." Draco huffed and flopped down on his back, crossing his arms over his chest as he glared up at the ceiling. "Now I have to think of an appropriate punishment for denying the all-important Lord of the Malfoy Family."

Harry giggled and slapped his chest playfully, green eyes bright and happy. "Don't be a prat. There's not much to say anyway. I remember my cousin being a bully and tons of chores and no friends at school and being put in the cupboard, but Uncle Vernon didn't hit me once. He's still afraid my magic will get him if he does it again. Things are going rather well at home."

Draco turned to face him and with his free arm gently brushed the wild black hair from Harry's face. "Baby, you know that all that isn't really okay, right? Even though things are better at home now, doesn't mean it's alright or that you should be happy about it."

"I know, Ray." Harry promised. "Really. I do know that now. But why think about it? I'm here with you and Dad and Moony. It doesn't matter anymore."

Draco smiled and kissed his friend chastely before getting up out of bed. "Maybe we can go flying. I can't wait to show you! I found this great Quidditch book when Mother took me away and I've forgotten to show it to you with everything that's going on, but we'll have time today. If we team up, we could even talk Dad into letting us go out."

"We'd have a better chance if we wait for whenever Dad goes back to work and ask Moony then." Harry suggested as he pulled on the clothes Draco handed to him.

"Good idea." Draco smiled mischievously. That melted into true amusement as he looked over at his smaller friend. "You hardly need a sizing charm on these clothes, but I can barely get them on."

"That's cause you're getting fat." Harry sniffed.

"Am not! You're just too skinny!" Draco protested, outraged.

Harry laughed and ran from the room. Draco followed, yelling threats, though his sparkling eyes told anyone who cared to look that he wasn't really angry. He was too happy to be upset. It was hard to be angry when his Harry was filling him with genuine good humor. This was how Harry should always feel.

"What are you two up to?" Remus asked as he smiled down at the boy who crashed into him.

He lifted Harry into his lap and had to hide a frown at how light and small Harry still was. Draco skidded to a stop and glared up at them with mock fury. The blonde had grown, Remus noticed, and subtly cast a sizing charm on the little Lord. The blonde flashed a quick grin then returned to berating the smaller boy in his lap. Harry tried to look remorseful and properly chastised, but was having a hard time stifling his giggles behind his hands.

Severus came to the kitchen table and ran his eyes over the scene. Harry was sitting in Remus' lap and Draco was giving a sound scolding to the brunette. Remus was smiling at Draco and giving reproachful glances to Harry at the same time. Eventually, Draco ran out of steam and self-control and burst out laughing. Harry broke down too and Remus looked over at him with exasperated, joyful eyes.

"They're in a mood this morning." The Wolf offered as an explanation.

"I can see that." Severus sighed and took his seat. "I think I'm grateful that I must return to class, dealing with those two when they're like this is exhausting."

"You are?" Remus said and was surprised at the disappointment he heard in his own voice. He blushed and looked down at his food.

Severus felt warmth twist in his chest at the other man's reaction, but pushed it away. "Yes. Professor Farris will be on call so that he will be here when needed, but the Headmaster doesn't want me missing more classes than I have to." The boys exchanged a glance and he narrowed his eyes at them. "That doesn't mean you get to slack off on your work. You will do as Remus says, and if I hear otherwise, I will be severely disappointed."

Harry looked at him with wide, solemn eyes, but Draco only smiled innocently and said, "Yes, Father." Remus smiled and was almost able to hide his amusement from the dark-eyed man across from him, but Severus was too observant.

"I mean it, Wolf. Don't let these boys play all day." He said sternly.

"I won't, Severus." Remus shook his head, not bothering to hide his smile this time. "We'll be good. Promise."

Severus fought the blush from his cheeks and nodded sharply. These three were going to be the death of him.

Remus was watching Harry work on his science and math. Draco was in the corner studying from one of his own books. He, not being a pureblood let alone Head of a Family, had no idea what the blonde should be studying so he left Draco to his own devices, which seemed to suit the small Lord Malfoy well. He frowned as he remembered the trip to the infirmary that morning so that Poppy could make sure there had been no complications.

Poppy had told him that the damage to Harry had been corrected as much as it could be and that the child would continue to get better as time passed, but Harry would still grow fatigued faster than normal and he'd have to let the boy take naps when this happened. She merely shook her head when he questioned her about the brunette's petite stature.

"I can't correct that. Severus and I agree that Harry is following his original growth rate. Nothing can be done."

That hadn't made him happy at all. Next to the tall, strong, and healthy Draco, Harry's small size was disheartening and with every year they aged it was only growing more apparent. It was infuriating, especially since he knew what made Harry this way. He growled just thinking about it. If he EVER ran into those godforsaken Dursleys…

"Moony?" Harry asked, looking up from his worksheet.

Remus smiled and ruffled his soft hair. "You're doing well, Harry. Keep it up. You're almost done."

The boy smiled and bent back to work. He looked over and saw that Draco was watching him knowingly. Remus shifted uncomfortably under that stare and returned to his thoughts. Poppy had marked down that Harry stood at only four feet three inches and weighed a measly sixty-nine pounds. Draco was only three inches short of five foot and weighed ninety-seven and a half pounds.

Despite what Poppy said, he had offered to stop at the kitchens after the exam to get the boys some food, but they both denied being hungry. Remus noticed Draco had waited to say anything until Harry had. He suspected the blonde was just as eager to get some weight on Harry as he was. That was a relief. If anyone was going to get Harry to do something he didn't want to, it would be the young Lord Malfoy.

He smiled fondly down at Harry. He was really glad at the boy's strong personality finally emerging. When he sent Draco a questioning glance about Harry's confidence and cheerfulness, the blonde had answered that he wasn't hit at home anymore. Remus was astounded at how much that made a difference. He was sure he'd have crumpled under half as much way before now. He knew he would never have made it against the abuse brought down on him due to his own curse if it hadn't been for his mother loving and supporting him. And Harry had no one until now.

"I'm done, Moony." Harry held up his work proudly.

"Good job. Let me check it over for you." He took the paper. Harry beamed with joy when he handed it back with none marked wrong.

"I'm tired of working." Draco said as he stretched. Remus looked up at him suspiciously. "Moony, can we go out flying?"

"You know we can't. It isn't safe." He said sadly as he shook his head.

"We've been at this for hours." Draco whined.

"Only two." Remus laughed.

"I'd really like to go outside." Harry said softly, looking up at his friend through his eye-lashes shyly.

"Ooooh, no fair." Remus mock moaned and covered his eyes. "You know I can't."

"Please, Moony!" Draco came over and added his own pleading look. "We need some exercise and lunch is in a few hours. It's not like we'd be out long."

Remus was seriously starting to cave and scrambled for some ideas. Finally he hit on just the thing. "I know just what to do. Come on."

"Where are we going?" Neville asked as he followed after Ron. They had been in Charms when the redhead had gotten his and Hermione's attention and said to follow him. Hermione wouldn't leave the class early, but Neville had gone along. What was the last half-hour anyway?

"The Room of Requirement." Ron answered.

"Why? And who were you writing too?"

"Crabbe and Goyle, and you'll see." He smiled.

"Harry and Draco are out of the dungeons?" Neville perked up. "We should get Ginny."

"No." Ron shook his head. "We can't draw too much attention to ourselves or we'll get in trouble."

Neville just looked at him doubtfully. They reached the right corridor and found Crabbe, Goyle, and Parkinson walked toward them from the other side. Ron scowled, "I thought I said to keep this secret?"

"We had a free period and she followed us." Crabbe shrugged dumbly.

"What's happened?" Goyle asked.

Ron crossed his arms and refused to speak. Neville stood nervously beside him.

"Oh, come on." Pansy huffed and tossed her hair over her shoulder. "What's it gonna hurt if I know?"

"Everything. I'm not telling you anything, Snake. So get lost. I'm sure these two can tell you about it all later."

"Ron…" Neville warned as he watched the girl's eyes light with fury.

"No. It's alright, Longbottom." She hissed. "I can take care of myself."

With that, she turned and stomped away. Crabbe and Goyle exchanged a look and adopted grateful expressions. Ron preened at that and made his way over to a blank wall. Neville had seen the brief spark of intelligence though and he hung back so he could watch the two Slytherin Sixth Years more closely.

"They're in here." The redhead explained as he paced in front of the wall.

The blondes were about to say something about that when a door appeared and Ron opened it. Their mouths shut with a snap and Ron smirked at them, gesturing grandly for them to enter first. Neville followed and shook his head as he passed his friend. Ron ignored him and shut the door.

The room looked like a grassy field. There were only four trees and they marked out the rooms boundaries (which was as large as the room could get; about 300 square feet), making the rest of the sight an illusion. But the sun in the blue sky felt real and the warm wind shifted their hair and clothes. Above them, they heard laughter and looked up to see Draco, Harry, and Professor Remus flying on brooms.

"Greg! Vince!" The blonde waved at seeing them. "Come on up! We could put on a mini-game!"

"Don't have a broom!" Crabbe yelled back.

"Just wish for one." Ron told them and snickered at the dumbfounded looks they sent his way when a broom just appeared in his hand. With a whoop of joy, he entered the sky. Neville followed next, but going significantly slower.

Harry was better with the whole fear-of-strangers thing, but they still made him uncomfortable and shy. Therefore he flew up to the blonde and asked quietly if he could be on his team.

Draco took one hand from his broom and wrapped it around his shoulders, "Of course you're on my team."

"I'll be referee." Remus offered. "Neville, Ron, and Gregory on one team. Draco, Harry, and Vincent on the other."

They all agreed and the game began. The teams were surprisingly well-matched. Harry had never (in his memory) flown before, but Neville was hardly any better. Draco was almost as good as Ron and Greg and Vince were evenly matched. Still, Draco's team was loosing half-an-hour later. Harry was panting over his broom and his hands had begun to tremble. Draco called a time-out and flew over to him.

"I think I need a break." Harry smiled tentatively. He was sorry for stopping their fun, but he knew pushing himself until he fell would make Draco a thousand times more upset. The blonde nodded easy agreement and Harry looked around wistfully. "I don't really want to go in yet, though."

"Alright." Draco nodded and gestured Remus over. The amber-eyed man came obediently. "Will you take Harry's place on the team? He needs a few minutes to rest."

"Maybe we should go in." The man frowned worriedly.

"It's doing him good to be here." Draco argued. "Lying out on the grass will be peaceful and he will get some rest."

"Alright, but let us know if you want to go in." Remus conceded.

"I will, Moony. Promise." Harry hugged him and flew down to the ground.

"I can go down with him." Neville offered when he saw his de-aged friend leave the game.

"No. Remus will take his place." Draco waved the offer away. "Now come on! I'm gonna win now!"

"In your dreams, Malfoy!" Ron laughed and did a competitive little turn in the air.

The game continued and Draco's team began to make a come-back. Harry smiled as he listened to Draco's gleeful triumph after every score and his barked orders to the other players. His eyes drooped closed and soon he was fast asleep.

"Can I help you, Headmaster?" Severus asked as he entered Dumbledore's office.

"I just thought it would be nice to have a private lunch so we could discuss some things." The old man smiled with bright twinkling eyes. He gestured for the other man to have a seat and waved his hand so that his desk was cleared off. Another wave brought plates of food. Severus hesitated, but in the end took the seat. "I began to teach the boys how to duel. They were coming along nicely. I think it would be a good idea to continue to practice. Say, after your last class you can bring them up here?"

"You taught them to duel?" Severus hadn't been told this, though he couldn't blame Draco for that. He had been preoccupied with Harry's illness and the vision.

"I did." Dumbledore nodded and took a bite of his sandwich. Severus followed his lead. "Harry is remarkably strong. He did all the spells wandlessly and held his own against Draco when the little Lord was armed."

"Wandless." Severus repeated, though he wasn't surprised after what he had seen him almost do to Narcissa. The boy was incredibly strong. Stronger than he remembered him being before the spell de-aged him.

"Yes. I've been thinking about that." Dumbledore said thoughtfully.

Severus jumped. He hadn't realized he had spoken out-loud. He narrowed his eyes, certain he hadn't. With a sneer, he strengthened his mental barriers. Subtle, snooping, conniving old man, he thought, confident the man couldn't hear his surface thoughts anymore.

"I think that ten years with the Dursleys made Harry fear his magic in such a way that he bound it to him and locked a huge portion of it away. He couldn't lock all of it away of course and that was what leaked and did his accidental magic." He leaned back with a smile. "Now that he has returned to those years and was guided into respecting and priding his magical ability, he never locked it away. All his magic is free now. This could be the power that the Dark Lord knows not."

Severus tensed. Damn that prophecy. Damn the Dark Lord. And double damn Albus Dumbledore. "Sir, he is a child. I stick by the belief that it is foolish to expect a child to save us."

"And I tell you again that Harry will not be fighting alone, but we can't change his destiny. We can only prepare him for it and protect him as much as we can." Dumbledore sighed. "You will bring him up for lessons?"

It wasn't really a question and Severus nodded. Besides, the old man had said to bring the boys up when he was done with his classes. At least he'd be in the room if anything happened. And he did want Harry and Draco to be able to defend themselves. Dumbledore needed to be watched, but if he could teach the boys how to survive than Severus wasn't going to stand in the way.

Harry was still asleep when the Quidditch game came to an end and Draco said he was hungry. The blonde said goodbye to his Slytherin friends and smiled superiorly at the defeated redhead. Neville had congratulated him, so he deemed it better of him not to rub the chubby boy's face in his defeat as he was doing to the fuming redhead.

Yes. It had been a good day. He followed Remus back down to the dungeons under the Invisibility Cloak while the werewolf cradled the sleeping Harry in his arms. They got back down to the dungeons and Harry woke to eat. He didn't wake up all the way until Draco suggested redecorating the playroom. It was too baby-ish, he complained. Remus agreed, laughing, and the boys had a ball changing the colors of the room and getting rid of old toys that no longer interested them.

By the time Severus got back, the room had a ceiling and walls that reflected the outside weather. Men and woman on brooms and randomly colored robes flew around playing Quidditch. The boys liked to run around trying to tag certain figures and discussing the moves watched them perform. The carpet was still a rich, grass green.

The toy chest was still there, but was stripped of paint, leaving behind its natural wood color. Their favorite toys were put up in it, but over half had been given to Remus to get rid of. Two matching desks for their school work sat side-by-side and an art easel stood in the corner for Harry who requested lessons. Draco preferred music and had spelled box to play the most popular music whenever he tapped it with his wand. (Well, tap it with Harry's wand, really. He still hadn't been given his old one and Harry's worked better than perfectly for him anyways.)

"Well, well." Severus smiled as he looked around the room.

"Do you like it?" Harry asked, running up for a hug.

Severus bent and easily lifted him up onto his hip. "I do. You two are growing up with quite the sophisticated tastes."

"Of course we are." Draco sniffed haughtily and crossed his arms.

Harry giggled and Remus laughed. Draco glared at them both and stalked elegantly from the room. Severus followed him to the dinning table with a smile. He placed Harry in his chair and went to sit in his own. Once they were all seated, food appeared on their table.

"Is Mother coming?" Draco asked, unconcerned.

"Do you wish to see her? I told her I'd contact her when you were ready." Severus answered.

"Not yet, then." He answered and served himself.

"After dinner, the Headmaster would like to continue teaching you to duel, if that is alright?" He looked at Harry. "If you are tired, I can reschedule."

"I'm fine." Harry smiled. "I took a nap today after flying."

"Flying?" Severus raised an eyebrow and stared coolly at the werewolf across from him. Remus blushed and looked at his plate.

"We didn't go outside!" Harry rushed to inform him. "Moony didn't do anything bad!"

"Then where did you fly? Certainly not in here." Severus drawled.

"We went to a magic room that grants you what you wish." Draco answered. "And stop looking like that. We really needed it and look at Harry. He's never looked better!"

It was true. The boy had color in his face and his eyes were free of shadows for the first time in many weeks. Severus conceded, but couldn't give in gracefully and decided to bicker with the young Lord for several more minutes. Harry could tell his father wasn't mad anymore and smiled over at Remus who winked back. Giggling, he finished his dinner to the sounds of the "aristocratic discussion" as Draco called it. He decided he really loved his family.

Harry and Draco learned spells and dueled for three hours. Severus had wanted to call a halt twice, but the headmaster talked him out of it. Severus regretted retreating and promised to put his foot down next time when Harry fell asleep twice in the bath. Draco was tired too, but had managed to remain awake until his head hit the pillow.

He sighed as he tucked the boys in. Guess they wouldn't need a bedtime story. He was just glad he wouldn't have to grade the written tests or homework for his Potions classes and could go straight to bed himself. Dumbledore had told Farris that was his job while he remained on staff. He went to the sitting room and poured himself a drink. Remus was sitting on the couch by the fire, a book in his lap.

"How did it go? Were either of them injured?" He asked.

"No. They did really well. Draco is only a bit more powerful than Harry and he picks up spells faster. I think that's because he half-remembers them and Harry is learning for the first time." Severus sat by the amber-eyed man instead of across from him. He smirked inwardly when the Wolf didn't shift to put more distance between them. He sighed and leaned back, letting his hair fall away from his face.

"Why is Draco stronger?" Remus asked softly. He didn't want to disturb the dark-eyed man's rest.

"He is equipped with a wand, and Harry's wand at that." Severus took a sip. "Harry may never need to use it again. Though it could come in handy. It is the brother to the Dark Lord's."

"I wish you wouldn't say that." Remus' eyes bore into the other's face. The dark eyes opened and stared back. "I hate hearing that name from you."

"What would you prefer?" Severus asked softly, without a sneer.

Remus blushed at hearing the smooth, silky voice, but didn't turn his eyes away. "Say Voldemort or, if that is impossible, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named or You-Know-Who. Harry believes that to refuse to say his name makes Voldemort more powerful."

"That's the Headmaster talking." Severus sneered and looked into the fire. "In general, that belief is true, but in my case… I can't say his name without causing myself pain."

"Severus." Remus reached out for his hand, offering comfort. Severus let him. "I can't even imagine… the strength it took to turn your back… and offer yourself as a sacrifice in order to help us defeat this madman."

"No you don't." He said softly. "But I don't expect you to understand, Remus."

The werewolf's breath caught at hearing his name come out of the other's mouth so easily. His hand tightened around Severus' and a surprisingly gentle smile spread across the man's thin lips. "I think we've come far enough to use our names with each other. Though I will always think of you as a Wolf."

Remus flinched and tried to yank his hand away, but Severus wouldn't let it go.

"I use to be afraid of what that meant. And that was the root of my animosity toward you. I can admit that now." He leaned closer. "I can also admit that the fear has turned into respect. As much as you can't understand the road I've walked, I can't understand yours."

Remus stared deep into the other's eyes and felt his heart begin to beat fiercely. He understood. He understood that Severus Snape saw the strength he possessed to continue passed everything he had endured and he knew that he returned that respect completely. But he wasn't sure he could give more than that. Give that extra bit more that he saw in those dark bottomless eyes. He smiled. It was a painful expression. Of all the people he had thought himself in danger of seeing that expression from Severus Snape wasn't one of them. He stood and walked quickly to the fire, wrapping his arms around himself as laughing blue eyes and wild black hair filled his mind's eye.

Severus watched his back for a minute. Calming himself as the embarrassment, desire, rejection, and anger slowly gave way and he took control of himself once again. What was he thinking? How could he say all that… sentimental drivel! It wasn't like he wanted anything from this… man-beast… in front of him. He was just tired! Pretending to have a child was breaking him apart; turning him into someone he wasn't.

He stood and made his way to his bedroom. Grimly, he thought he wouldn't have to cope with all these new weaknesses for much longer. Once Harry remembers… Once that happened… He'd be a father no more. Harry would never want him. Closing his eyes against unwelcome pain, he pushed open his door. Hating himself, uncertain, angry…. A hand on his arm halted his progress and his eyes snapped open.

"Severus, don't." Remus pleaded in a whisper. "I know… I know what it feels like to be afraid of losing everyone you love. I know what it feels like to be absolutely alone, and I know the fear of opening up and allowing yourself to be vulnerable to loss once again. I know because I've been in both positions. I… I lost everyone. I lost my friends, my Pack, my cub. I wandered alone for years. Then Harry came to Hogwarts and I followed. Sirius came back to me and… and we became lovers. He was… He was my first. Do you understand? He wasn't interested in men, but that filthy prison shattered him and we needed each other to heal… And then I lost him. He's never coming back and if it weren't for Harry… If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be standing here. Do you know why?"

Severus could say nothing. He was trapped in the other man's passionate and pained, tearful amber eyes.

"Because… because I will not survive being alone again. Not after truly understanding what it means to have a family and a lover. It is more unbearable to be alone than it is to live with the fear of losing the ones you do have. So… please… please don't lock yourself away again now that you've found something to fear losing. Have faith that Harry will stick with you and don't push him away thinking you'll be better and safer alone. Please, trust me when I say that you will only find that you've made everything worse."

Severus looked away. He couldn't. He couldn't admit to needing anything, let alone needing someone. He cared for Harry, but Harry needed him more than he needed Harry (or at least that's what he told himself). But this sudden confusion surrounding this other man couldn't be explained away or given excuses. He wouldn't let himself be made vulnerable.

He pulled his arm out of the other man's grip and shut the door. It wasn't like he had proposed anything. The Wolf had taken everything out of proportion. He cared nothing about him or his past with the mangy mutt. He was being friendly for Harry's sake nothing more. That speech was useless and unnecessary. With a deep frown, he gulped down a sleeping potion and collapsed into bed.

Outside his door, Remus Lupin sat heavily on the couch and cried into his hands. He felt the connection that was growing between them and, just like Severus, he was fighting it. He was fighting it because his first love still haunted his mind and heart, and he didn't think he could love like that again. He wasn't sure if that would be fair to his second partner or to Sirius. But he believed what he said that being alone was worse. He wanted a companion to care for, protect, and support. Confused, lonely, and mourning the loss of his friends and lover, he cried himself to sleep.

The week passed quickly due to the happiness that surrounded it. Harry and Draco worked on their Occlumency and academic studies in the morning after breakfast. Then they went flying after lunch and only came back to the room when Severus' classes finished. Different Gryffindors and Slytherins always met up with them. Draco preferred his Slytherin friends, but was growing fond of Ginny and Neville. Ron and Hermione were annoying and he didn't like the way they sometimes stared at Harry.

Harry's opinion ran really close to his blonde friend's, except he didn't like Pansy all that much. She was too clingy and argumentative, and her voice was very like Petunia's. Everyday he had to stop flying so that he could take a two hour nap and always woke back in their quarters when their father got back and had dinner.

Dueling and magic lessons came after that and the boys had great fun, especially when Dumbledore let them team up against him instead of against each other. No matter what anyone else said, they just couldn't put their all into a fight against each other. What if they accidentally got hurt? The thought was too horrible for both of them and they only threw mild curses and charms at each other. Their father never let them get as tired as they had the first night, but Harry still fell asleep almost as soon as he was in bed. Draco faired better and was able to stay up for a story.

But the boys were the only ones blissfully happy. Severus and Remus walked around tense and tried hard to avoid each other as much as they could. It wasn't very hard during the day since they were busy with the boys and doing separate things, but at night it was hard to escape the other's company. Severus could only handle a few minutes of this before fleeing to his room and his sleeping potions. Remus didn't cry at night again, but he often stayed up staring into the fire pensively until he was pulled into troubled dreams. Neither knew how to stop the attraction that had formed between them, nor had the strength to act on it.

Saturday morning came and the boys got dressed and went to breakfast as they did every morning. Their father and Remus were already seated and this made the boys suspicious. Usually their father didn't come to breakfast till later. Harry smiled and hugged them both before taking his seat, while Draco just gave them good-morning.

"Since I don't have classes today, I'll be staying with you." Severus began as the food appeared.

"You mean you don't have to do homework?" Harry asked excitedly. He loved spending time with his father and on the weekends he usually had to take time out to grade things and stuff.

"No. I don't have homework." Severus smiled. "Professor Farris is doing it for me."

Draco snickered, "Father, I thought cheating is bad."

"Only when you are caught. And I'm not cheating." Severus glared.

"What are we going to do today?" Harry interrupted.

"I'd like to talk to you about things you will remember come Sunday night." Severus answered seriously.

"I'm coming too!" Draco said immediately, not liking the implication that he wasn't invited.

"You may come, but I will want to talk to Harry privately later." Severus said sternly.

Draco pouted, but let it be.

The boys were curled up against their father's side on the couch in the sitting room. Remus had excused himself, but Severus stopped him. Severus told himself he had requested the Wolf to stay only because he had a right to know what Harry did and had nothing to do with needing support. He tightened his arms around Harry and avoided looking at the man across from him. Would this weekend be the last? Would Harry's First Year be enough to renew the boy's hatred for him?

"Father?" Draco asked curiously. "Aren't you going to start the story?"

Severus nodded. "As you know, you will turn eleven Sunday night and when you wake up you will remember everything that happened to you during your eleventh year. As Draco may know, eleven is a special age in which you get invited to go to a magical school to learn all about your abilities and gifts."

"But we've already started learning." Harry questioned.

"That is because you two are special." Remus smiled at him.

"We know that much already." Draco sneered playfully. Harry hit him with a giggle.

"I feel that it would be wise to prepare you for your next set of memories." Severus continued, ignoring them. "I'm afraid they are going to be very surprising, Harry."

"What do you mean? Do I not get to go to school? Do I stay with the Dursley's?" Harry asked wide-eyed.

"No. You come to school, but you also find out the truth about your past." Severus sighed. "Remus told you that your parents were killed, but wouldn't answer you when you asked by whom. I'm going to answer that question now."

Harry nodded, tears filling his eyes. Draco reached across his father and clasped the small boy's hand in his own. Harry squeezed it tight, gratefully. Remus often told them about Harry's first parents, to the point where the two boys (especially Harry) almost felt like they knew them. Being reminded of their horrible deaths wasn't going to be easy, but Harry really did want to know so he steeled himself and looked up at his father unflinchingly.

"Harry, your mother and father were fighting in a war against very bad people. The evil man in the visions you and Draco see is the leader of those bad people and when you were a baby you hurt the bad man very badly. That makes you very special. They gave you the title The-Boy-Who-Lived and for ten years the Dark Lord was gone and we had peace. But the Dark Lord wasn't truly dead and he started trying to make himself a never-dying body when you turned eleven. Do you understand so far?"

The green-eyed child was clinging to his father tightly, his eyes wide and horrified, but very clearly aware. He did have questions, but his throat was too tight to ask them. Draco swallowed hard. He had known this story, but it was different hearing his father tell it and having his baby's sharp emotions clawing at his chest. But he knew what Harry needed to know and would be strong and ask those questions for him.

"How did Harry beat him? How did his parents die?"

Severus looked at him questioningly. He wanted Harry to ask, but the look on Draco's face told him not to push. "There are three very Unforgivable curses. One causes great pain; one takes over the mind of the victim leaving them helpless and at the spell-caster's mercy; the last Unforgivable kills the person instantly. It is called the Killing Curse. The Dark Lord used it on both James and Lily Potter. He then turned to use it on Harry, but it bounced off of him and hit the Dark Lord, destroying his body, leaving behind the lightning shaped scar."

Harry buried his face into his father's chest and cried. Draco huddled closer and shivered as silent tears ran down his cheeks. Remus couldn't stand it and threw himself onto the floor at Severus' feet so that he could reach both boys. He rubbed their backs and soothed their hair as he crooned to them. Severus held tightly to the boys and watched him through blank eyes that hid his internal pain. Eventually, Harry calmed and Remus climbed up onto the couch beside him.

"What happened after I found this out?" The green-eyed child asked tiredly, looking back up at his father.

"You were taken from the Dursleys and found out about your fame and a little about your parents. You came to the Wizarding World and everyone was in awe of you. They wanted photos and to stare and talk to you. A lot of people thought you were a spoiled and pampered hero." Severus took a deep breath. "I was a spy for Dumbledore. I was once a Death Eater, but I turned away from them and Dumbledore asked me to continue so that I could bring him information that saved many people. It was very hard, but I agreed because I needed to atone for all the very bad things I did….

"Because of this, I wasn't allowed to befriend you. You were my Master's enemy and we knew the Dark Lord would be back eventually. I had to create an alibi so that the Dark Lord would accept me back and my animosity toward you was that key. But I took it farther than I had to because I dislike arrogance and was certain you would be arrogant because of your first father and because of your celebrity status. I said cruel things to you and I treated you unfairly."

"I think I remember that." Draco said slowly. "But I also remember you saving Harry. He almost fell from his broom, didn't he? But you saved him? I remember being disappointed. I wanted Harry to get hurt. I was mad at him for refusing to be my friend. I didn't understand why he was being mean to me so I was mean back." He looked over at the shocked Harry. "I don't think you liked us all that much."

"I… I didn't like you? You were mean to me?" Harry asked in a small voice.

"That's why I wanted to tell you before you remember." Severus grabbed the boy and pulled him into his lap and held him to his chest. "I want you to know that we care for each other and we're a family. What you are about to remember is really the past even though it won't feel that way to you at first. Things have changed between us as we came to understand the truths that we hid from each other. These past weeks weren't a lie, Harry. This is the truth now and our relationship is stronger because it overcame so much."

"I love you, Baby." Draco wrapped himself around him. "I'm really sorry for what I did. I just wanted you to notice me and be sorry for sending me away and choosing the side of someone who hates me. That redhead, I think. He hated me and always has and you wanted to be his friend and not mine. But that doesn't mean what I did was okay, because it is never okay to hurt you. I was very wrong. I'm sorry, Baby. Don't hate me again! Please, don't hate me!"

Harry launched himself out of his father's arms and held Draco tight. "I don't hate you! I could never hate you, Ray! Don't cry. Please. I'm sorry I didn't choose you, but it'll be alright. I love you and Daddy and Moony and no matter what I remember I won't forget how much you took care of me and loved me and saved me from the Dursleys."

Severus held the crying children as he closed his eyes tight. He hoped Harry was right, but he couldn't really bring himself to believe it. He remembered quite clearly the things he said and did to Harry and knowing the truth to how he grew up made his actions all the more horrific. It didn't matter that he was there to stop Quirrell from killing the boy. That did nothing to excuse his malicious hatred for the innocent child he was hurting.

"Daddy?" Harry asked softly, still wrapped in both Draco's and Severus' arms. "You said… you said you were mean because I was a celebrity and you didn't know that the Dursleys were mean, but you said that it was cause of my first father, too. What did you mean?"

Remus looked to the dark-eyed man and knew Severus wouldn't be able to answer. He leaned over and smiled sadly into Harry's face. "Your first father went to school with Severus. He was in the same grade, but they were in different Houses. Hogwarts has four Houses and Gryffindor and Slytherin have the biggest rivalry. They always want to beat the other really, really badly. So James and his friends, including me and Sirius, picked on the Slytherins, especially Severus because he was the smallest and he never fought back. Severus would always get his revenge after we made fun of him or pranked him, and wouldn't do anything while we were being mean. That made him seem like an easy target."

"We didn't like each other." Severus interrupted harshly. He didn't want to talk about this and he didn't want Harry to know the extent of that hatred. "We both did things that made each other mad and we were… rivals. I thought you would be like your father because you look so much like him. So I lashed out in petty anger."

"My first father hurt you lots?" Harry wouldn't let it go and his large eyes filled with more tears.

"We were children and being stupid." He brushed Harry's tears away. "Don't think I am an innocent victim. I wasn't. And I hurt your father too. And worse, I hurt you, Harry. I'm very regretful of that now, but that isn't going to change what you are going to remember. I wanted you to know all this and to know that I am sorry."

Harry nodded and bit his lip. "You… you love me now, right, Daddy?"

"I do. You are my son. Even if you don't want me to be your father, I will always see you as my child." Severus stood and cleared his throat, obviously done with the emotional subjects. Harry reached up for him with a teary smile and he lifted the small child onto his hip. "Let's go flying for a bit. You two said you wanted to show me."

"Yes." Draco forced a smile and got to his feet. "You should see us race and Harry is really good at catching the snitch!"

Remus followed after, doing his best to help Draco cover up the awkward moment and to make them all forget what could possibly come to happen Sunday night.

The weekend passed and no one brought up the topic of the returning memories again. Instead they spent every moment they could together having fun. They played, flied, painted, danced, and ate their favorite meals. Severus made them practice Occlumency and dueling, but only for a couple hours. Severus tucked them in every night and read them bed time stories. It was the best weekend yet.

"Baby? Are you awake?" Draco whispered. Their father had left and both were suppose to be sleeping. But the blonde was too afraid of what the morning might bring and couldn't sleep.

"Yeah?" Harry answered groggily and turned over to face his friend.

"I… I'm… well, don't… Don't hate me tomorrow, okay?" He stumbled awkwardly.

Harry smiled and moved forward to kiss him softly. "I promise, Ray. I won't hate you."

Draco nodded and hugged the smaller boy. "Say it again?"

"I love you, Ray, and I will never ever hate you, no matter what I remember. I know who you are now and I won't forget that when I remember who you were then. Better?" He laughed.

"Yeah." Draco laughed with him. "It's a little better now."

"Good." Harry's eyes closed and he began to relax.

"Baby, if you do get mad or hate me, will you talk to me about it and give me another chance?" He whispered.

"Ummhmm." Harry murmured with a slight nod, already almost asleep.

"Goodnight, Harry. I love you too." And Draco finally closed his eyes.

Severus stood by the fire and was on his third drink. Remus had been called away to Dumbledore's office as he was tucking the boys in and he was glad for the time alone. He was so deep in thought he didn't realize the time passing or that Remus had returned. The werewolf silently watched the man as he stood somberly in front of the fire, drinking a warm and rich alcoholic drink. His senses could smell the sorrow, the fear, the longing rolling off the other man.

Remus knew pain. Knew it intimately and carried its terrible burden wherever he went. Life was a battle for him and it always had been. No one had ever understood that. His friends hadn't and Sirius had only just begun to realize just how terrible and difficult it was to just keep moving. But this man before him knew. He knew all the types of pain just as closely as Remus did. Full understanding hit the werewolf then. He was looking at the only man in the world who could possibly ever understand just what it was like to have to battle for every smile and brief happiness granted to them.

He truly understood for the first time that Severus' life had been hard from the very beginning and every year made it even more difficult. And Remus felt his heart constrict at the strength and beauty displayed in Severus' survival. The Potions Master had never submitted except for the brief period in his life when he had worn the Dark Mark willingly and later threw himself at Dumbledore's feet for mercy. This man had known pain and torment of a kind and Remus was no longer alone with the knowledge of suffering and the crueler reality of the world.

Severus, tall and darkly handsome, who had a bright and burning darkness in him that refused to bend again, was now starting to break at the thought of losing the only person he had ever loved. Worse, Harry was possible the only person who had ever loved him back. Remus wanted with all his heart to sooth that pain, to comfort the beautiful man before him. He wanted to let him know he wasn't as filthy as he imagined and that he didn't have to stand so ridged and alone any more. That it was okay to soften and allow himself to feel again and to be happy.

Unknown to him, Remus' eyes began to shift to gold. It was less than a week to the full moon and the smell of the man not more than five feet from him was intoxicating. It was spicy and powerful and sharp. He knew that he could smooth those edges, could taste the sweet that the bitterness hid. He just had to take it, just had to reach out.

Severus turned, too drunk to be surprised when he came face-to-face with the Wolf. He opened his mouth to say something and was shoved firmly against the wall, a mouth on his, a tongue sliding against his, a gentle growl vibrating from the other man's chest against his own. His warm drunkenness evaporated instantly as his heart began to race as adrenaline swamped his veins.

Remus was his height exactly, but was several inches smaller in waist and shoulders, and he was shocked to find out just how strong the other man's slender body was. There were steel-strong muscles under that soft golden skin. Hungry gold eyes stared into his own and for a brief moment he felt fear and then he felt relief. Relief that this man who had bourn all his burdens without destroying his compassion and gently heart wasn't afraid to be dirtied by touching him, nor was he afraid of the darkness he contained. Relief that the pain and absurd fear over Harry was retreating as fire and pleasure sparked along his senses.

Two strong hands grabbed his hips and held them still as the werewolf leaned against him, thrusting once against him, viciously, before stilling. The kiss turned gentle when he didn't fight back or try to escape. Honey brown hair fell against Severus' cheeks and neck and he itched to wind his fingers through it, to touch it, but he couldn't allow himself that and his arms remained limp by his side.

The werewolf's eyes became molten as he pulled his mouth away. Severus took a deep breath, trying to stop himself from panting. But he couldn't stop the gasp as the warm mouth returned, this time to lick and suck at his neck. He moaned and his hands finally came up to wrap around the man's hips, pulling him against him to give evidence of his growing desire.

"Severus."

Remus' voice had gone low and hoarse, a slight growl remaining. Severus looked into the golden eyes. His mind reached out, loosened by the alcohol and the desire saturating his mind. Respect, lust, and remembered pain hit him. Remus' mind pressed into his awareness and he was awed by the torment contained within the gentle loving mind. Pain controlled and soothed and embraced instead of chained and conquered as he had done.

He smiled grimly. It wasn't love that brought them together. It wasn't lust or desire for each other's body. It was the need to exist beyond harsh reality, the desire for relief, and the need to share strength so that survival is no longer so tedious. He knew he wasn't quite as sober as he thought he was. He knew he would most likely regret going farther than they had. He knew he was backing himself into a corner where he'd either have to break or adapt. But he couldn't push away the burning heat of the other man's mind or his hard powerful body. He couldn't dredge up the self-denial necessary to refuse himself the pleasure and promise awakening along his every nerve.

"Wolf."

He drew the name out, slowly spilling it from his lips, caressing it; his head tilted to the side, his body shifted. Remus reacted to the seduction by clamping his teeth on the pale skin offered up to him while his hands tore open the man's outer robes. They fell from Severus' shoulders and soon his shirt was being unbuttoned.

Severus gasped and slowly rubbed his hips against the Wolf's. Remus growled and began licking and kissing, his hands exploring the exposed chest before his mouth could do the same. Severus' hands buried themselves in the soft graying hair tugging and pulling as he let his passion rise as Remus' hot, wet mouth awakened him.

They were kissing again and this time Severus was battling, testing for dominance. Remus' shirt fell away. His followed after. Pants were becoming undone as they pushed and shoved and fought to make the other submit. Both were sweating now. Teeth marks littered their skin, ringed their necks. They nipped and arched, knowing they would fall; they would lose control to the burning pleasure; but who would be first, who would open themselves to the ultimate release and submit themselves fully?

Remus' strength gave way with a cry of passion as Severus' fingers slid skillfully into his cavern. He had never experienced anything like it and his legs gave out. Sirius had never fought him like this, had never made his blood burn and burn. It had always been sweet between them, Sirius always surrendered and was taken, but this… This battle, this passion, and heat, he was losing his mind.

Severus followed him to the floor in front of the fireplace. Their naked bodies writhed together and Remus cried out again as his legs were spread and Severus entered him with a swift, painful thrust. But he knew pain and this pain was welcome, was joyful and perfect. He arched and begged for more. And Severus answered.

They moved together; hungry, starving, and full of need. Severus sank into the man under him, who was wrapped around him. He tasted the Wolf's soul, his magic; he licked up his tears and swallowed his cries. Remus gave everything; he let him be taken and consumed and rejoiced at the growing hunger Severus displayed when Remus expected revulsion. He howled and wound himself tight around his lover, the end was coming and he was certain it would destroy him.

The explosion came and they both cried out hoarsely, arching and thrusting violently until the waves calmed. Panting, they collapsed next to each other. Remus' golden eyes glowing and half-lidded, Severus keeping his closed as sweet exhaustion sung in his soul. Their scent filled the room. The sound of fire still echoing from the hearth and filling the room with its light. The heat was theirs and they rested in the peace.

Remus smiled widely as he heard his lover's breath even out in deep sleep. He gently stroked the damp skin and petted the silky, potion-stained hair. A gentle kiss and still the man didn't stir and he chuckled deeply before standing and gathering the man in his arms. Without a word, he carried Severus into the bedroom and tucked him in, curling up next to him with sated contentment.

Chapter end.

A/N: Thanks to everyone who helped me clean the chapter up and make it better! You know who you are:)