Chapter 139
September 29th, 2017
It was Friday night and Rory had found a comfortable position in her childhood bedroom, her back to headboard, legs crossed, a pile of pillows on her lap and an adorable 3-week-old latched onto her right nipple, eating slowly but steadily. Em's eyes were already closed, as she often ate in a sleep-like state. It was pretty late already. Rory was supposed to finish feeding Em, burp her, check her diaper, then pack her up in her warmer onesie and put her in her car seat to drive her home, hopefully so that she'd fall asleep and she'd manage to transfer her into her crib for an hour or so until she needed to be fed again. It was the first time they'd really been out of Hartford with Em - Em's first 40 minute road trip to Stars Hollow.
The others were watching Orville in the living room, Lorelai having fallen in love with the quirky humor of the space-adventure show, which normally wouldn't have really been her cup of tea. And Luke and Jess had been hanging out there as well, Jess waiting for Rory to finish.
They'd both already gotten the cutesy-cute 'widdle nose' baby-talk from Lorelai along with offers of help and offered everyone who had asked a turn to hold the little girl. Even Liz and Doula had been over earlier. Lorelai had also explored tentatively about Rory's mental state and physical state, as she remembered well how labor itself hadn't been that easy on her and how it had culminated with Rory kicking Jess out of the room. Everyone had been worried sick once they'd rolled her into the O.R but that had also turned into the reason why Jess hadn't been mad at her for doing that, in part figuring she hadn't been thinking straight with her body in overdrive like that when she'd ordered him out and in part simply because they'd all for a moment thought how horrible it would've been to lose Rory. Rory herself hadn't thought too much about that, actually, having a lot of mixed emotions and perhaps, thankfully, not remembering things with great detail. She hadn't dealt with all of those feelings, not by a long shot. But what had helped was seeing how these tiny little fingers curled up around her finger and how Em's eyes made her realize how this little creature needed her. it kept her grounded now. It gave her a sense of purpose unlike anything she'd ever felt like before.
She often floated back to those first hours she'd spent with Em, as she'd just began to make sense of the world again after her surgery, as she did now.
It was the scruffy voice of Luke that jolted her out of her thoughts, hearing him walk into the kitchen along with a second pair of footsteps, which she was fairly certain were Jess' as unlike her mother who was wearing slippers Jess was wearing his combat boots.
Not many people knew how well she heard everything that went on in the kitchen even if the door was closed. She'd heard many discussions she wasn't supposed to from here, and this was certainly going to be one of those times even if she didn't know it yet.
"So how are you two doing? Have you given what we talked about last time any more thought?" Luke inquired, and continued to take something out of the fridge.
"I don't know..," Jess groaned, opening what most likely was a soda can with a hissing sound.
"Well I had the ring cleaned just in case, you can have it," Luke suggested, making Rory hold her breath for a moment. Was Luke really suggesting what she thought he was suggesting? Rory recalled her mother mentioning something about one of Luke's relatives finding one of his mother's jewelry boxes in an attic somewhere and how Lorelai now had her pick of vintage bracelets. Rory figured this ring must've had something to do with that, even though she felt a little self-centered thinking that.
"I can't take this. Seriously," Jess objected.
Rory sighed with relief but still remained cautious. He couldn't really be serious, could he? And coming from Luke? That felt even weirder.
"Who else am I going to give this to? Liz is already married, Lorelaid has her own, April seems dead set on against marriage - gave me a two hour lecture on the topic last time," Luke continued,
"Well it seems to run in the family, since I'm pretty sure she wants nothing to do with the concept of marriage either," Jess spoke, keeping his voice down more than Luke was, so it was a little harder for Rory to hear them. Lorelai seemed oblivious to the conversation, however. Surely she would've said something had she heard.
"Anyways - the offer still stands, it's your life..," Luke sighed, somewhat dissapointedly, leaving the discussion at that.
Rory sighed again, having knowingly dropped little hints during the past six months or so to steer Jess' thought as far as she could from those ideas. A little comment during a movie they saw or a book they'd both read. Noting during shopping seeing some window display, how she didn't want to wear white, saying it made her look too pale. Commenting while reading a paper how it made zero sense for anyone to really marry these days financially or talking about prices of some of the weddings her mother threw at the inn. She also talked about the poor experiences Paris had had with her divorce. She was ready to start explaining how her grandmother had insisted on a prenup to protect herself, even if she never felt worried about Jess being after the money she now had, if it came to it, knowing how much Jess hated getting lawyers involved in anything. She knew that for a while she could hide behind the fact that she was sleep-deprived, looked and felt the worst she'd ever looked or felt. But how long was that?
It wasn't that she hadn't pictured it. But somehow each time she did - it was never more than a simple city hall wedding with a dress that was barely a wedding dress with no more than a handful of friends present. She could imagine her mother as the maid of Honor and Luke as the best man. But it was almost like she would've done it to get it over and done with. Like doing one's taxes - though she knew it to be an awful comparison and certainly it wasn't as bad as that. She cared about Jess, she really did, she loved him too - but was she ready to announce it to the world? She was pretty sure that was how her mom had felt with Max. Jess was amazing with Em, he took care of her too, and for now he was the person to lean on for her. But he didn't deserve her marrying him out of obligation or peer-pressure.
Rory looked down, only now realizing Em had stopped eating, being fast asleep.
March 14th, 2022
"So how are you?" Rory asked her sister with a sigh, as she called her on a week-day evening. She was snuggled into the couch with a comforter and a cup of cocoa, while Em had joined Logan with Loki outside in the back yard. She could watch them through the window, having not bothered to pull the curtains.
It had been about two weeks since their moment of bonding, which she really would've wished to be under different circumstances. They'd texted a few times since then, but it seemed Gigi was having a busy time in school, and Rory didn't even think it was a bad thing all things considered. Sometimes burying oneself in work helped, especially if it was on a moment where one actually needed to do it, like in Gigi's case the end of her senior year certainly was, if she thought back to her own.
"I'm good, better," Gigi replied, no longer speaking as casually, understanding from Rory's tone what she was really asking. "I actually told my dad about the guy," she added with a note of optimism.
"Oh?" Rory replied, feeling surprised.
"No I didn't tell him about that, that was just too personal...embarrasing, and I am not sure what he would've done with that information," Gigi explained. "But I sort of figured, telling him the guy was a jerk to me, which he totally was, and how he went out with me and then blew me off like I was nothing, couldn't hurt… He noticed I was upset and it was easier to just say that than to lie to him," she explained.
Rory wasn't sure how she'd told the story, but at least she would've at least assumed it would've included something more than going out on a date and she was pretty sure his dad knew better too. Gigi was definitely more wordly and advanced socially than Rory had in her age.
"That's good," Rory replied. In a way she envied the kind of relationship Gigi had with their dad. He was clearly trying to 'Lorelai' a great deal when it came to discussing things with her, even though he might not have realized it - but then again who else did he have to learn from.
"He actually offered to help me get back at him. He talked about his school days, how some guy got his naked pictures plastered all over the lockers thanks to you mom for being an ass to someone and how some girls at his school smeared some guys' car windows with diaper cream as revenge one time," Gigi spoke, laughingly. "He was surprisingly cool about it. So he came to pick me up on his motorcycle one day. Me and one of my friends made sure Kyle saw me climb onto that bike and ride off. I made sure I looked hot as fuck that day," she added, speaking so lightly about it that it was hard to imagine the girl in tears over this guy and her condition just a few weeks ago. Rory could imagine his dad still looking pretty good on a bike despite his age and felt a little better hearing her sound better too. "I mean it was not some elaborate prank or social medial humiliation which would've felt even better, but I do think it kind of worked enough to show him that I'm over it," she continued.
Rory felt a little concerned too - hoping the girl wouldn't take abortion by pill as something too easy. To her perhaps it had really seemed like a delayed morning after pill, and she certainly didn't want the girl to end up in the same position again. She wondered whether it was her place to talk to Gigi about this, and honestly she wasn't sure. Sherry may have been in Gigi's life, but they weren't very close, and while they lived with Lana, as far as she'd understood Lana didn't really interfere in raising her much. But did an 18 year-old need raising? Surely one was allowed a few mistakes, Rory herself remembered many from those years.
"Karma's a bitch," Rory said in passing, having just recently heard the phrase somewhere so it was fresh on her mind. She wasn't entirely sure she believed that, though there had been times she'd contemplated on the matter in length.
"Yeah," Gigi agreed, hopefully. "Listen, I actually wanted to ask you something else," she began.
"Yeah, sure?" Rory asked, expectantly. She quite enjoyed this new role in her sister's life.
"I know I originally wanted to major in psychology, but I'm having some second thoughts," Gigi continued, and explained to her how she was also considering going into a business major and using the psychology angle within that field, or even pre-med, communication or anthropology. She'd also read about something called legal psychology so she wasn't even ruling law school out. She seemed to have the grades to take her pick. But Rory was pretty sure this was just graduation anxiety, she'd felt it too.
"Well it's not something you have to decide on right away, once you're in - there's room to shop around. That's what shopping weeks are for," Rory explained. "But I guess what helped me… was just talking to the people who studied different things. It gave me some insight into what kind of traits it took, what the work was like, what subjects they enjoyed and what was a pain. You may think that there are all types of people in all fields… but there are definitely some things that group them together. Like a similar drive for certain things," Rory explained. It was something she'd spoken once or twice even to her own students about, truth be told, but she felt giving her advice to her sister was more personal.
But what Rory realized as she said it was that she hadn't really herself talked to many teachers about getting over this importer syndrome feeling she was experiencing. Sure there was Max, but she wasn't sure her and his goals coincided too well. She felt she too needed to talk to someone who wasn't as determined, someone who maybe had done something else altogether in between or worked part time. Was it even possible to be a good teacher if one wasn't all in?
"Yeah, but where am I going to meet these people? I mean sure, I don't really have a lot of time to figure this out now, but I don't just want to go to college to shop around aimlessly, you know," she explained. And Rory knew damn well what she meant.
"Well.. I could recommend some people whom you could talk to if you want," Rory recommended, automatically thinking about Colin's law firm, which would most likely at least rule out one major field for Gigi in her opinion, not thinking she'd enjoy it. But who knew - it was better she experience it herself. "There's my friend Colin who's also in Boston, they've got a big law firm like 15 minutes from you. And my friend Olivia lives in Lexington. She started out at the art department, tried to make it as an artist for a while but got her Master's in Health and Recreation Sciences, if i remember correctly. She develops art programs for special-ed schools, retirement homes - places like that," Rory explained, being happy to help.
"That'd be great," Gigi replied.
"Okay, I'll see if they'd be up for it and we'll see. Oh, and before I forget - I did promise to go shopping with you, that was actually why I called," Rory said. It wasn't entirely true, she wanted to know how she was handling things, but it wasn't the only reason.
"You really don't have to," Gigi replied, almost sounding like she didn't want to burden.
"I want to, if you do," Rory replied, hesitantly. She almost felt like perhaps her sister thought she was too cool to hang out with her older sister sometimes. "I actually meant to ask you if you'd maybe consider being my maid of honor at the wedding. If you did.. That'd mean we'd need to look for your dress," Rory suggested, hopefully, but was already interrupted with an excited squeal before she fully finished that sentence.
This wedding she really did spend a lot of time thinking about. She'd thought for a few months whether she'd ask her mom to do it, but somehow her mother had said something a few weeks ago that had left her thinking that Lorelai didn't really want that role. Something along the lines of 'being too old for standing up there with all the eyes on her' and how Rory would need someone to look after Em. Sure there'd be nannies, but she knew her mother's help with Em would be irreplaceable, especially if the girl wanted to be the flower girl for them. It was not like she was inviting Jess to the wedding to handle Em for her. So she'd actually asked Lorelai whether it'd be okay to ask Gigi and she'd said she didn't mind.
"I'll take that as a 'yes'?" Rory replied, laughingly and crossed off another line from her wedding to-do list. She couldn't wait.
