Chapter 10: Girl Talk
Starfire upped her pace as she placed her hand on the controls, pressing the positive button until reaching her desired level of intensity. The balls of her feet pounded and bounced on the treadmill, her even breath becoming more ragged with each step. Her calves ached and sweat dripped off her as she tried to match the beat in her earbuds but was having little success. Finally reaching her desired interval of time for this pace, she quickly set the controls to a brisk walk, arms above her head as she tried to regulate her breathing so she could begin again.
She did not know if she wanted to forget the last few hours or never let them go.
Having gone over everything that had happened more than a dozen times, she let her mind relive the memories once again.
When they were sprung, Speedy's hands continued to linger on Starfire, as if he had just had a taste of forbidden fruit and he never wanted to let go. Starfire, however, slid from his grasp with some effort, her cheeks reddening at being caught red-handed.
"It is not what it appears," Starfire stammered out, looking to Speedy for some explanation. "We… we were just—"
"I was just helping her get something stuck out of her teeth," he joked. He stood with a satisfied smirk, earning an unamused glare from Starfire. "What? He's not entirely stupid."
"Speedy!" she said, exasperatedly, while Kid Flash yelled a 'hey!'. Speedy continued to look at her, shrugging.
"It's pointless lying anyway. Kid Flash has an uncanny radar for drama and the biggest mouth out of all the Titans. How long were you standing there anyway?"
"Long enough," Kid Flash admitted and gave him the side-eye. "And I am deeply offended by some of the comments just made. I just came up here to say goodbye." He sped right up to them, creating a breeze in his wake. "So… how long has this been going on?" He had his hands on his hips as if this were a casual meeting between the three of them rather than a massive secret that was just uncovered.
"It's none of your business, KF," Speedy replied as he saw Starfire bit her lip, her brushing her hair with her fingers with nervous energy. "And I prefer it if we kept it out of everyone's business."
"Please," Starfire interjected and pleading him to understand. "I would prefer if this occurrence did not leave the three of us as well."
Kid Flash's eyes flashed from Speedy to Starfire and back again, as if deep in thought.
"Your secrets safe with me," he finally said, making a show of crossing his heart and putting up a hand in a salute. "Scouts honor."
Of course, Kid Flash took back his word and the entirety of the Network knew the details of the ending of the party within a few hours. And the Network talked. Oh boy, did the Network talk. The goings-on within the Titans East and a certain alien and arrow-slinging vigilante were all anyone talked about the next few days.
There were whisperings from the boys about how Speedy managed to do it and was still alive to tell the tale after that night (these things were mentioned as to assure that Robin was not in hearing distance). Most of the girls were concerned and unsure of the situation, especially Raven, but most continued to speculate anyway.
While embarrassed initially, Starfire held her head high after the incident and only knew that their rendezvous on the roof had been leaked when she received a concerned call from the empath. After reassurances that yes, she was fine, and no, that the kiss had been her decision and was given some backstory on how this kiss came to be, Raven finally let go of some, but not all, of her hesitancy.
"Ok, but if he does anything remotely out of line, I'll make sure make sure he only has the most terrifying nightmares every time he closes his eyes."
Starfire giggled. "I thank you, friend, but I do not even know where we stand. It is an unsure thing as of now."
Raven paused. "Well, from what he said on the roof, he definitely likes you. And you seem to like him. I would maybe just take it slow. It's just..."
Starfire nodded into the phone, even though Raven couldn't see. "You fear I am using Speedy as a, what is it called? A 'fallback'?"
"Yeah, a little. Are you?"
Starfire bit the inside of her cheek, uncertainty creeping in and emotions tangled together that were hard to decipher. She spoke as honestly as she could. "No, I do not believe so. The way I feel around Speedy, it is different this time. I cannot describe it."
But she did know how to describe it. It felt like light after being in the darkness for so long. A warmth that trickled from her chest to her limbs and made her feel weightless. A boy that brought so many different possibilities and effortlessness with him into her life. But she could not say that to Raven.
Another long pause from Raven and she answered, "Then I am happy for you, Star. Just work on making the unsure more sure." She let out a heavy sigh like all this emotional talk was getting to her. "I've missed this and talking to you properly. You're coming back for Christmas, right? That was part of our deal when you left."
Starfire, surprised at the change of topic and a little heartsore at Raven's admission, replied, "That would be glorious… if you would still have me. I miss you all so dearly. It is just…"
"Robin?"
Starfire changed the receiver to her other ear and started to twist a strand of hair. She sat down on the edge of her bed, fretting. "Do you think he knows?"
"I haven't seen or talked to him since the party last night and I can't read his emotions right now. He seemed in a pretty good mood when we left, though," Raven answered honestly. She then voiced one major concern that came to mind. "What happened, anyway? The dancing, the talking, the hug at the end. The situation just seems a little, I don't know, more complicated when you look at it from that angle."
"He and I have decided to try to be just friends again. Nothing more," Starfire rushed to get it out, hoping Raven wasn't too judgmental of her actions. She then hesitated, uncertain as to whether to share the rest. But Raven was one of her best friends and confidant, and so she said softly, "But he also asked me to come back to the Tower if and when I am ready."
More silence for a few seconds.
"And what did you say to that?"
Starfire bit her lip. "I told him that this is my home now but still he pressed. I do not want to give him false hope, Raven, but I also do miss Jump and you and Cyborg and Beast Boy." She got up to pace now, making rounds around her room. "This transfer was supposed to bring clarity and help bring me to an understanding as to what it is that I truly want. But now…"
"It's all muddled up," Raven finished. She sighed on the other end of the line, understanding flowing through her. Starfire could feel her hesitancy as Raven continued speaking. "As much as it pains me to say this, you left Jump for a reason. With the Speedy situation, I know it makes things even more complicated, but I don't think you've explored your options yet to make an informed decision."
"Agreed, however, how do I not jeopardize my potential renewed friendship with Robin while I am staying here with the Titans East? With Speedy present?" she asked forlornly. She walked over to the bed, lying down now and curling into a ball, already knowing the answer.
Raven spoke gently. "I think it's a little late for that, Starfire. Once he finds out about the kiss, I'm not sure how he will react, but it won't be good."
A single tear slid down her face, the realization that she could lose him completely and all over again as her best friend sinking in.
"You ok?" Raven asked with concern after Starfire hadn't replied after a few beats.
"I will be fine," she replied. She turned so she was looking at the ceiling and wiped the wetness from her face with her free hand, forcing cheerfulness. "I will be there for Christmas in a few weeks' time. I cannot wait to see you and our friends again and do the bestowing of many hugs and do the eating of many ginger cookies."
"We can't wait either," Raven said, not fully believing the alien but letting it slide. "We'll deal with Robin. Plan on coming and just think about what I said about making a decision."
And Starfire tried taking Raven's advice. She really did. While one half of her brain mulled over the pros and cons of Robin's proposal and whether it even still stood after the events at the party, another, more persistent part of her brain made her retrace those said events in excruciating detail. Over and over and over.
Even now as she jogged, she could still taste and feel him as Starfire touched her lips in remembrance.
Smoke and his tongue sliding against hers. Fire at her waist as his bare fingers skimmed the skin above her skirt. Her hand knotted in the front of his shirt. She had felt powerful, the feeling all-encompassing, as they ignited. And as much as she push-pulled with her decision to kiss him, she couldn't quite say she regretted it. Not yet.
"So," Bee said and appeared seemingly out of nowhere as she prepared to run on the machine next to Starfire. "Speedy? Really, girl? Spill. Your leader commands it."
Starfire jumped, surprised by Bee's appearance, and hit the buttons in front of her to slow her pace to a walk. Taking her time, she wiped her face with a towel, taking out one of her earbuds, and sighed.
So it began.
"What is it you wish to know?"
"Everything," Bee teased, increasing the incline of her machine inch by inch. "Or anything you're willing to share. Is he a good kisser?"
Starfire blushed instantly, saying diplomatically and evasively, "He is quite adequate."
"Adequate? Don't let Speedy hear you. His ego is too big for that."
Starfire didn't agree or disagree, rather turning uncharacteristically quiet for a moment as she continued her cool-down part of her workout. She then spoke, voicing a concern on her mind saying, "Do you disapprove of our… encounter?"
Bee became thoughtful. "As your leader, I probably should. Dating coworkers is a big no-no usually, especially given your history," she said bluntly, Starfire becoming meek and apologetic in nature. Bee just waved her hand, continuing. "As your friend, however, and as a person who is also dating a teammate, I don't have room to talk. All I know is that you seem happier now than when you came here, and I think that's all that matters. Of course, out of all the boys, I wouldn't think that Speedy would be your choice with Aqualad right in front of you, but girl, you do you." Bee turned impish then, back to teasing Starfire.
Starfire giggled then and relaxed as they continued to glide forward at the same speed. "Aqualad is a fine specimen, but there is just something about Speedy that I cannot place."
Bee snorted. "Well, it can't be his attitude or his hot head."
"No, it is more than that. He is brash, yes, but can also be well-meaning and thoughtful at times." Starfire got a little lost as she spoke, ruminating on the times he taught her something or comforted her.
Bee gave a small smile. "Do tell."
So, she did.
Author's Note: Sorry for the short chapter. I wanted to post something so this was the result. Next up, Speedy and Starfire define their relationship.
