Chapter 149
March 30th, 2022
"Thanks for meeting me," Rory said, as she hugged her sister. Rory was in town for a Scholastic writing competition with a couple of her 11th graders, and while they and their homeroom teacher had gone for the Boston literary tour, she'd made an escape to steal away an hour and a half with her sister. She had to admit, she was feeling more and more distant from her work - she wasn't treating every moment with her students like a moment to impress them or educated them, more often than not, she just felt like zooming out. It didn't help that her body seem to object sitting still for extended periods of time and her boobs ached, reminding her she needed to get a few more soft bras.
They were meeting at Saltie Girl, knowing it was one of Gigi's favorite places in the city, its light teal color itles against wood providing a pleasant, contrasting, interior that felt energizing.
"Of course, not often I get to see my big sister," Gigi replied. Gigi was in her school uniform, having come straight from school, a simple navy skirt, white dress-shirt and an oversized denim jacket, which she'd dressed up with a few fancy brooches, a large colorful scarf and a pair of pink wooly legwarmers.
"Did dad talk to you?" Rory got straight to the point.
"He did," Gigi replied, placing the menu to the side, knowing exactly what she was going to order already.
"So what did he say?" Rory inquired again, choosing her dish hastily, seeing the waiter approach them.
They ordered quickly - Gigi going for the Tuna Carpaccio and beet salad, and Rory for a slightly safer option for a newly pregnant woman - their signature burger.
"Right... what did dad say...," Gigi tried to recall what Rory had asked a few minutes later. "That he couldn't believe I thought he was having an affair, showed me some pictures of the place he'd been spending his time at even. I don't know… you know somewhere in nature by the sea. There were some guys with him... some friends of his apparantly. I'd never thought I'd see him being the one to fish," Gigi said, squinted her eyes, laughingly. "Something about not wanting to be stuck in the city all the time, and how he didn't want to work as much anymore," Gigi explained briefly. She'd never really understood or really cared too much about what her father did more specifically.
"Good," Rory exhaled. "And about that guy of your's?" Rory asked, hoping to lure the information out of her
"My guy?" Gigi reflected but sounded puzzled for a second. She just hadn't expected to hear the mention from Rory.
"Dad said he saw you flirting with some guy at the cafeteria at the McCrae & Collins building the other day. He wasn't sure how to approach the subject with you. He was kind of upset about it," Rory noted, feeling disappointed but not too surprised that her father hadn't brought up the harder part of the conversation with Gigi.
"Oh.. that," Gigi replied, being caught off guard. But she didn't seem terribly worried like Rory herself would've been in her age had the situation been reversed, and instead her face showed a sneaky glimmer of a smile.
"So who's the guy?" Rory asked, trying to be sisterly, rather than motherly, finally beginning to sense the difference between these two roles with her. Not siding with their father when they'd last talked had made that more clear to her than ever.
"Eric's the junior litigation attorney. He's 29… and I don't know, it's all so fresh. But I just feel like I know him, like I've known him for forever. I just.. Walked into a room bringing him his mail one day and… we both just knew," Gigi explained, dreamily. "I've never felt anything like this," she added, blushing a little. It was kind of sweet.
"Wow," Rory exhaled. Those were some mighty big words from a 19-year-old.
"We have so much in common… I mean sure, there's the age but, we like the same things, same music, art… he just gets me," Gigi explained.
"You realize that the company probably had some kind of a policy against things like that, right?" Rory said, deciding to stick to not casting judgment. She was glad to hear Gigi had found someone to connect with, but just like their dad, she wasn't too happy about the age difference, making her want to become protective. She also didn't want to ruin this by telling her that sometimes, in that age especially, the feelings felt a lot bigger than they'd end up being in the long run. It wasn't what she needed to hear. And as a sister - she just needed to make sure she was safe.
"Oh yeah, I know. I am actually not going back there again, and we haven't even had sex yet," Gigi explained, not being at all coy about the topic of sex. "It can't quite believe it myself, but so far - the build up has been pretty incredible even without it. We've been out like four times, five if you just count coffee. He's just so fascinating to talk to. Even a small touch on my arm… it's like fireworks," Gigi explained, a small smile constantly on her lips. She looked so in love.
"Wow...," Rory replied, not knowing what to say.
"So what did dad say? Did he seem really mad?" Gigi finally inquired, as it finally hit her that it was through him that Rory had found out.
"I was actually hoping he'd talk to you himself, he didn't seem happy but not mad-mad. Confused rather, and he might be imagining the guy to be even older than he really was. But I am sure he just wants to hear an explanation from you, along with everything you just said to me…," Rory suggested, unsure if her dad really wanted all that detail. But surely he wanted her daughter happy even if the match, the very young match, was a little unconventional. Sure, it was weird - but she'd seen way worse age differences in her life which kind of put things in perspective. Besides, Gigi was just seeing the guy, it was not like they were running away and eloping.
"I just think he might react badly, you know. I don't know, that he'll suddenly start telling who I can or can't date, like for the first time ever… and I don't want it to be this big thing," Gigi replied, rolling her eyes.
"It's strange between you two… the way I see it at least...," Rory began. "Like he's being the cool dad, you have all this freedom, but he's like on his toes all the time too," she added.
"Well I don't really know him as anything different from what he is," Gigi shrugged.
"Did I tell you about that one time he barged into a room after my mom, who'd just caught me and Logan making out," Rory chuckled, feeling a little nostalgic, having just been writing about her grandmother's vow renewal though from her grandmother's perspective into that file she had on Emily. "Sure, he was drunk, but it must've been one of the most embarrassing moments in my life," she added.
"He might have mentioned something concerning the first time he met Logan," she replied.
"But as your older sister… I do feel it's my obligation to tell you to be careful," Rory said, trailing back to that guy of hers. "What's his last name?" Rory asked, going by her mother's standard questions.
Gigi groaned, but playfully so, and after a few quick swipes on her phone she just handed over her phone with Eric's social media profile open for Rory to explore, showing how neither she or he had nothing to hide. It was rather like she was showing off something she was truly happy about.
At the same time Logan pulled up in front of Honor's house, seeing Honor just returning from her mid-day ride with her favorite roan American Quarter, named Casper due to her ghosty tonality. The stable-girl, Jenny, was just leading the horse back towards the stable as Logan got out of the car, and Honor unstrapped her riding helmet and removed her gloves, placing them onto the porch rail for the maid to put away later.
"Hey," Honor greeted him, "I'd hug you, but I stink," she added, self-critically, making a much bigger deal of the fact than it really was.
"Hey," Logan replied, and gave his sister a quick kiss on her cheek anyways.
"I'm running late for a meeting, so you might have to entertain yourself for a bit," Honor suggested, as they headed inside.
They hadn't really agreed on the specifics of him coming to see her, Honor having just suggested that he should just drop by whenever. Working from home had its perks - like having a chance to fill the time slot of a postponed meeting with some horseback riding or helping one of her sons with his homework if they were home from school. But naturally it wasn't all perks with several weeks in London at least every couple of months, early mornings because London was several hours ahead of them and feeling exhausted by 9 PM because of it and not having enough energy to hang out with Josh on most evenings.
"I believe I'll manage," Logan replied, not really having anywhere he needed to be at a specific time, as Rory had said she'd be back in time to pick up Em, and he was pretty sure those two could use some alone time as well. Hanging around Honor had always been easy for him - he didn't need to pretend to be someone he was not, and even if he did she always got him.
"So how's Rory? Em?" Honor inquired, casually, and hung up her jacket. They moved through the living and dining room towards the vast kitchen to grab something to drink. "Rosa made this incredible chicken salad the day before, I asked her to make me a big bowl of it this morning, so if you get hungry just help yourself, " she added, gesturing towards the fridge.
Logan nodded, thankfully. "They're good," he returned to her earlier question. "Work's keeping Rory busy - she's in Boston today for some competition. She's been writing a little too," Logan explained. He desparately wanted to tell his sister about the pregnancy but he was afraid to jinx it too, besides he was pretty sure Honor wouldn't be able to keep it from Rory that she knew if she did end up telling her. He had agreed to keep the secret with Rory the full 12 weeks, Paris, due to her own pregnancy and medical expertise, their therapist and their doctor being the exceptions.
"Oh well, I'm off…30 minutes, tops," Honor said with a sigh, as she glanced at the time, having not realized how close she was cutting it. The casual polo shirt she'd worn underneath her jacket worked well enough to go into a meeting, especially an online one. She headed to her study which was adjacent to the kitchen, not bothering to close the door between the rooms.
Logan made himself a cup of tea, and feeling a little hungry, helped himself to a small plateful of chicken salad to fill his time, while he replied to a few quick e-mails on the side. As he sat there by Honor's kitchen counter, his mind couldn't help but follow Honor's call that he could hear almost all of it from where he was sitting.
He recognized most of the voices on that call - there was George, Honor's right hand on the ground while she was away, a guy Logan actually had really liked and hearing his voice, actually kind of made him miss the silly old bugger. He'd been out for drinks after work a number of times and he knew the guy made a mean John Cleese impression as well as knew everything one ever needed to know about travelling to Burma, having grown up there in the 1950s and early 60s. There was Darcy, the marketing exceutive, Olivia, the head of legal and possibly Stanley who used to be Darcy's assistant but had by the sound of it moved up a notch.
No matter how much Logan admired how well Honor handled that meeting, having very specific messages to get across, including dividing up responsibilities to get this project to where it needed to go, it still took effort to try and focus on it not being his thing, he found himself wanting to speak up at least a few times - add his own two cents, but he reminded himself to keep out of it. At least for now.
Talking to a therapist about the trauma that these past years had been in his system - mentally and physically. He'd little by little begun to divide up the things that had formed his life in the past years. It wasn't never just the company. It hadn't been just Odette. There had been friends, even if not his best friends. There were his favorite books stores, bars and restaurants, many of which even the New York one's he loved didn't live up to. And even Odette hadn't been the sole reason for his unhappiness. He was himself to blame and he knew it - Odette had just gotten desperate and he, they, hadn't had the sense to pull the plug before it got toxic. She hadn't paid enough attention to Logan's wellbeing - and as a friend, as a wife, more importantly - that was on her too. Logan still hadn't decided whether he should contact her or not, but it kind of pained him - as if it wasn't properly finished. As if there was s blow to come from her direction sometime in the future if they didn't talk, peacefully. But it did feel like poking the hornet's nest in a way.
The HPG had had its issues. Sure, the work was hard, time consuming - all consuming sometimes. The bigger problem was how he'd used it as an escape, turning the parts he'd once enjoyed to something he did because he didn't want to go home. At least he was beginning to saw these things - each one of these things was a small part of the bigger picture, and it was turning the pieces the wrong way or trying to put the piece in the wrong place that had been the problem, if one were to think beyond the simple conversation he could've had had with Rory five and a half years ago to avoid all of this. But the past was the past - he knew that too.
"So, what's up?" Honor emerged from her study, jolting Logan out of his lengthy train of thought. She'd gotten more comfortable in the meanwhile and was walking around in her socks, having stipped off her riding boots in her study.
"I just felt like I hadn't checked in in a while… I don't know… Rory said something the other day…," Logan began, sounding surprisingly hesitant for someone like him.
"Well, what did she say?" Honor replied, curiously.
"That you're carrying my weight, you know... At the company. As if you're just waiting for me to come back and you're treating this like something that just needs to get done," Logan said, his hands fidgeting with the empty tea cup in front of him.
The truth was, Rory's words had affected him more than he'd let on at first - he was in fact beginning to feel the guilt of just dropping off the face of the earth like that and dumping all of it on his sister. But it was the fact that Rory was pregnant that had truly made him come out here. That had been the tipping point. He'd tried picturing what kind of a role model he wanted to be for his child - and this wasn't it. He couldn't just do what he wanted, there were also things that just needed to get done, while keeping his sanity in check. He needed to do something to make up for this.
"We've talked about this, Logan," Honor sighed. "You loved the work, for the most part, but it also damaged you. You don't want to return, you want to sell it if I want that too, yet you've never really pushed hard enough to make that happen," she summed up the viewpoint she had of it.
"Yes, but I do feel guilty. And before I go hopping towards some other project, I guess I just need to know if there is something I should be doing here. If you need help - I'm here to offer it. I can't jump in with two feet, I don't want this to become my main thing - I don't think I'm ready for it. But if you want my help - you have it," Logan explained, generously.
"You have nothing to feel guilty about, Logan," Honor sighed. "Yes, I guess in a way I am holding your spot here… I can't imagine doing this forever, but I have thought about various scenarios on how to let the thing go altogether, but honestly I don't like any of them much. It may not be my dream job, but I do take pride in what you, dad and grandpa too have built, and I don't want to see it take the wrong course if it is out of my hands. It's like the odd uncle that nobody really likes but still misses for his quirky jokes when he's not around… I know, not the best analogy perhaps," Honor continued, shrugging at her mediocre joke.
"You've built it too, by now you definitely have," Logan reminded her.
"Nothing that compares," Honor shrugged.
"If you want, need my help - I could consult, I feel like I could do that. Just help you, you know," Logan said.
Consulting felt like just dipping his big toe into the water without actually having to take the plunge. He held his breath a little whether some big fish would bite onto that toe and drag him into the deep end though, but from what he'd talked to his therapist about concerning this - he knew that was a fear without any real basis. He was in control of how deep he'd go, and objectively thinking exploring the parts of this that had never been his problem, reminding himself of something he'd actually enjoyed, he knew it was probably good for him see how it'd feel, even it he discovered in the process that he really was through with it for good.
"Well, thank you, that's kind of you to offer," Honor exhaled and moved closer to hug her brother. Naturally she knew she could've asked for help before, and her brother would've helped her, but this was something more solid, assuring her a little that she didn't need to avoid the topic around him altogether.
