Chapter 13: A Non-Relationship in Snapshots Part I
Message Received
Starfire snapped the communicator shut, barely being able to avoid seeing its contents. She was up now, heart thumping for an entirely different reason as she clutched the device to her chest.
"Oh, X'hal," she whispered.
She paced her room until she sat on the sill that overlooked the tumultuous ocean and cliffs that the city clung to. Tapping her fingers against the communicator, she began to feel an overwhelming sense of guilt and anxiety, the pit of her stomachs twisting and her breath becoming shallow.
She did the practiced breathing Speedy had taught her, calming herself enough so she could think semi-rationally.
She knew that this message's timing couldn't be coincidental. She pondered the message's contents, not ready to see for herself. Was it a declaration of love, a reiteration of his offer, or a mere hello? Maybe it was the digging of information or a reprimand of her actions? She continued to agonize, her mind spiraling.
It had been on the back of her mind that she needed to address Robin with Speedy, how he had given her an offer that she was trying to examine rationally. Now, she had a feeling things would be more complicated if she chose to answer Robin's text message. No, she didn't think. She knew.
Minutes passed as she wanted to give into temptation, her heart aching to know how he felt, what he was thinking or if there was anything left to salvage when it came to any sort of relationship. Knowing she shouldn't feel these things, and knowing it wasn't fair to herself, Speedy, and what she wanted to accomplish by being here, she steeled her heart and pressed the side of the communicator to clear her notifications, hiding the message until she chose if and when to view it.
Walking to put the device on her bedside table, removing her boots, and slipping into bed, she tossed and turned all night, that unread message subconsciously burning in the back of her mind.
On the Mend
The days turned into weeks leading up to the holiday season as Starfire tried her best to keep things between her and Speedy on the down low. The communicator clipped to her belt was an ever-present reminder of things that needed to be addressed, things left unsaid that needed to be spoken out loud. But it was difficult, looking at him and trying to speak of Robin as she knew it would hurt the both of them. So she pushed it off, instead choosing to focus on what she had and what could be. It was agonizing in the best possible way as time passed and the low heat that built up between them simmered and threatened to spill over.
It was the little things that pulled the strings of attraction.
Platonic touching was fair game. Well, mostly platonic. A hand that rested at her hip when directing her on her shot with the bow. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she tackled him from behind. An intertwining of fingers that rested in between them as they sat on the couch during team movie nights, earning them a sly grin from Bee for only Star to see and menacing looks from the twins. It was sweet and oh so different than she expected it to be. He didn't push or beg or do anything that she thought he would. For all of their public touching, it was all innocence and boundary testing that she didn't mind. Push and pull, give and take that was equal in both their affection for one another.
And the kissing? That was a different story. Not opposed to small public displays of affection, Starfire was surprised when Speedy let her lead the way, her almost always in control as she initiated more often than not. Their early encounter in his bedroom had been the exception, not the rule, she had learned, as he had on more than one occasion shown restraint after that night. She could almost feel the tension being released within him as she gave him permission to explore more during one of their later sessions. His mouth was hot for her as he finally gave himself the go-ahead to transverse her neck and jaw, his hands flexing below at the hem of her top or the sides of her skirt. But it always stopped there, they both flustered in the best way.
While yearning for more at times, greedy Starfire was not. Though recently it was his smirk that stayed in her mind's eye at night and his touch that lingered on her skin. She wanted to be engulfed in what was called the "honeymoon stage" for as long as possible. Consume it as to never lose its taste. To bathe in this physical build-up for eternity.
While the physicality of their relationship started its slow crescendo and momentarily plateaued, it did not hider other parts. Most importantly, it was still just late-night roof talks and stupid jokes and new battle techniques learned and employed. It was all the small moments that made getting through the day bearable. It was learning and sharing. Much like they were doing now.
Starfire was brought out of her contemplation as Speedy let out a noise of distress. Starfire hummed, turning her full attention to him and stilling her own hands.
"Son of a bitch," he said, nursing the small burn on his finger by placing it in his mouth. "The fucker got me again!"
She sighed, placing one of the twins' costumes down as she went to tend to Speedy once again. For being as resourceful and dexterous as he was, something that a kindergartener can do, like crafting, should be simple, right?
It was not to be so, as Starfire couldn't help but giggle. Speedy had been demoted to several different tasks a few times now, his first task of sewing ending with blood all over the fabric and scissors giving the same result. He had been finally been given a hot glue gun, the repetitive task of gluing on red felt and blue fuzz also ending in injury.
She scooted closer to him, he positioned above her as he sat on the couch and she on the floor.
"May I see?" she asked and motioned for his hand which he retracted from his mouth and gave to her. She pretended to inspect it with great care, flipping his bandaged hand in every direction before placing a light kiss on his thumb.
She looked up at him through her lashes. "Better?"
Though entirely innocent, Speedy gaped but recovered quickly, quipping, "I think I'm cured. Mind helping me with other areas? See I've got this really bad ache—"
"Speedy!" Starfire chastised, squealing as she let go of his hand and he moved quickly to tickle her sides. Finally releasing her, she shook her head playfully, breathless, as she turned back to her needle and thimble. "Truly, I do not understand why this is so difficult for you. On my planet, even young children know how to handle a needle and thread."
"Well, I am basically an infant," he joked, turning more serious. He fiddled with a scrap of fabric in his fingers, shrugging. "I guess sewing is just one of those things that a lot of guys don't know how to do. Though I could see how it could be useful."
Starfire gave a noise in agreement, her tongue sticking out cutely, Speedy thought, as she rethreaded the needle in concentration. "Tamarians are a most resilient people. Warrior culture demands we know how to mend our uniforms or battle armor. We can spend days, weeks, or even years on the battlefield, not knowing when provisions will show, if at all."
Starfire continued her mending, unaware that Speedy gave pause to think about her statement. He then asked, "Does Tamaran have anything like Halloween? Or any other cool holidays that may or may not involve scaring children?"
She gave a quiet smile, holding up the costume for her inspection. "The closest would be the honoring of those who have joined X'hal in the next life, the grentilsik. I would say it is similar to the Day of the Dead here on Earth. We fly, burning our energies as to light up the desert sky once every three revolutions around our sun." She paused, setting down her work, satisfied, and turned to meet his gaze. "You have seen how we celebrate the day of birth. We also have the celebration of friendship, blorthog, in which young and old partake…"
Drifting off midsentence, Starfire gazed blankly for a split second, as if stuck in a memory.
Speedy, oblivious, said, "Well as long as this blorthog doesn't involve anymore meat crowns, I think everyone would be willing to celebrate. I think you made Aqualad swear off all meat entirely."
Starfire absentmindedly nodded in agreement, returning his grin. "That would be wonderous. But first, we must do one holiday at a time." She stood, stretching from side to side. She then folded and placed her finished costume on the coffee table, away from their clutter. She then went to take the mess that was Speedy's outfit and he handed it to her sheepishly.
"Do you know what you're wearing? For Halloween?" he asked, half-serious and half-suggestively, his mask wagging up and down to follow his eyebrows. A realization donned on him then, him snapping his fingers. "I got it! We could do a couple's costume."
"Are we not too old for the dressing up?" she said, picking up on the little word of 'couple' and becoming hesitant.
"I would hardly call 19 too old, Star. Besides, we also have the last Titans get-together of the year that weekend. Costume party and all." She couldn't stop his enthusiasm as he mused about character possibilities. Wouldn't, even if she was cautious about the idea and what people would think. What certain people would think.
After landing on the most perfect outfit idea and getting her approval, Starfire finished the last part of the twin's outfit, stitching the emblem to the front. Smoothing it flat and folded to put on top of its counterpart, Speedy snuck behind her to wrap her in an embrace, she literally caught up in his eagerness and warmth, never wanting to leave.
The Approval
Starfire melted.
Speedy shuddered.
He patted the worm's back in what he hoped was a friendly manner, the insect cooing and warbling at Speedy as Silkie stared up with his black beady eyes.
"There, there," Speedy got out and gave a few good pats but then retracted his hand.
But the worm had other plans. Squirming into Speedy's lap, Silkie turned over, moving his legs to entice Speedy to rub his belly.
With Starfire watching, her hands interlocked near her face in anticipation, Speedy reluctantly tickled the larva, enticing more strange noises from the creature and squeals from his non-girlfriend.
Author's Note:
Hello all! I decided to cut this chapter into multiple parts so at least something would be posted. The next chapter should be much longer and a lot is already written but no promises on timeline. Thanks for sticking with me!
