Chapter 161
September 16th, 2005
"Hello?" Logan picked up his phone just as his ECON 410 aka Economics of Innovation ended. It was his last class of the week and he couldn't be more relieved to get Rory's call right at that minute. It was one of the benefits of dating someone who knew Yale, really knew it - timetables and all. She was never annoyed about him being in class or actually taking one of his assignments seriously like some of his previous girlfriends had been. She also knew just when to call to catch him.
"Hey," Rory said, relieved to hear his voice. She was just driving back to Hartford in her car, just needing to hear the voice of someone who made her feel better.
"Hey!" Logan reflected. "How was the baptism?" he asked, casually.
"Fine…," Rory began, not sounding too convincing. "I don't know. I don't know what's going on," she added. "I'm not handling things particularly well these days," she confessed, it being the first time she'd ever confessed not being all together as she'd tried to seem until now. She'd put on her happy face to go through her community service, her D.A.R luncheons and even tried to convince Logan that he should feel free to talk about Yale whenever he wanted with her. But she wasn't all together and she knew it, even if she didn't yet see a way out of her situation.
"Yeah, I know what you mean," Logan agreed. For a second Rory wondered whether Logan was referring to her but there was just something in his tone that didn't sound right.
"Logan, are you okay?" Rory asked.
"I had a talk with my father the other day. And… apparently I'm going to graduate this year. I'm going to get my act together and I'm going to become a Huntzberger," Logan explained, using his father's exact words.
"What does that mean?" Rory wasn't quite sure she followed.
"I'm going to start attending shareholder meetings, letting the boys see my face around," Logan said. "It means…," he sighed, adding, "my preordained life is kicking in," definitely not sounding enthusiastic at this prospect.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Rory said.
"Hey, always read the fine print on the family crest," Logan joked, trying to make it sound light. He saw no point in Rory worrying about her, though he had to admit that knowing that she genuinely meant it - that she genuinely meant that she was sorry that he wasn't going what he wanted to do, meant the world to him. He was just so new to this, he didn't know what he was supposed to do in this situation - what was one to do when someone worried or cared about him like this. He didn't have the tools or the words to understand this.
"You know… maybe you can talk to your dad and tell him how you feel," Rory replied a little naively, realizing as she'd said it that she should probably be giving herself the same advice.
"Hey, how far away are you from the airport?" Logan suddenly asked, not even bothering to respond to her suggestion. But he knew she'd meant well.
"Why?" Rory asked, sounding confused.
"Let's go to New York," Logan suggested, doing the only thing he knew to do when faced with something unpleasant. And it seemed to him that Rory was in a way in a similar boat right now, needing an escape just the same.
"What?" Rory didn't believe her ears.
"New York, you and me, right now. By helicopter," Logan clarified.
"A helicopter?" Rory repeated in disbelief as she continued to drive. "You're kidding!?" she added.
"We will spend the weekend at the Pierre. You don't have your community service till Monday, right?" Logan added.
"Yeah, but…," Rory said, not knowing what to say or think. She was used to being taken out in style by Logan, but this was something else.
"Don't pack. We'll shop. Much more irresponsible," Logan suggested, adding another notch to this plan of his. This was sounding better and better to him. Being irresponsible sounded like exactly the thing to do, after all he was sensing more clearly than ever how his time was running out.
"Um… Logan…," she said through laughter, not believing it.
"I'll see you at the airport in 20 minutes, Ace," he encouraged.
"Okay," Rory replied. "I'll see you in 20 minutes," she added, hanging up. This sounded like something frivolous, something bad for her, even if it wouldn't be her own money she would be spending. She was finally beginning to understand Logan's way of dealing with things and feeling as bad as she did that day, this sounded like just the thing to fix her mood.
It was two hours later, Rory having driven a little bit more slowly, not wanting to cross the speed limit due to her probation, they were checking in at the Pierre, Logan having been very swift on making sure they had the weekend planned out for them, while maintaining several degrees of freedom.
"So which one would you like - the Metropolitan Suite or the Signature Park View?" Logan asked, wanting to give Rory a pick of rooms.
"Oh… We don't really need the Suite, do we? It's just the two of us," Rory replied, biting her lip without realizing, looking incredibly cute in her modesty. She shrugged slightly and smiled humbly. Frankly she couldn't think of a lot of use for the rest of the room, other than the bedroom - the bed more specifically.
"The Signature Park View it is," Logan replied to the concierge who'd been checking them in, feeling incredibly humored by Rory. A similar pattern continued throughout the evening: him proposing something elaborate, offering to splurge, spoil her rotten by getting her ten designer dresses and all the shoes she could ever dream of, and she was just so incredibly cute, not caring about any of the big names, rather being scared by the price tags.
Sure, he did get her some things eventually. Doing a little shopping for himself, for their night out and for the next couple of days to change, along with toiletries, loosened her up a bit, and it was incredible to see how she enjoyed herself once she got on a roll. And Logan wanted nothing more than to see that smile on her face again and again as she put dresses by Gucci, Versace, Yves Saint Laurent and Chanel, eventually settling for a much simpler military-look dress by some young designer which she dressed up with some unpricy jewelry, making the shop assistants roll their eyes when she wasn't looking.
They had dinner at Casa Mono, drinks at Balzac and danced at the Slate. Fancy food and drink flowed, leaving them both pleasantly intoxicated. And if not now when? - was the general consensus that was thrown around a lot that day.
They're faces were reddened, both feeling hot and sweaty, as they eventually emerged from the club, Rory already looking a little wobbly on her brand new anke height gladiator heeled sandals, which looked gorgeous on her, making her lean significantly onto Logan's side.
"I have to say," Rory began, feeling all giggly after her fifth Martini of the evening. "You sure know how to have fun," she noted a well known fact, kissing him then. She hadn't really stopped being amazed all evening and complimented his choices of venues and dishes throughout the night, being very easily impressed considering how little she'd actually been out with him like this. Sure, they went to restaurants and pubs in Hartford and New Haven, mostly to casual places like the Rich Man's Shoe or others around Campus. But this was something else. This wasn't about winning her over, this was just him wanting to do this with her, for her.
Logan smiled through the kiss, her words reminding him too much of one other line he'd heard from her a while back. "Uh, and I thought girls just wanna have fun," Logan said, correcting himself laughingly, "that didn't come out right," being a little too drunk himself. He looked back and forth, hoping to catch their car that was supposed to meet them out front, but as the street was very busy so he could've easily missed it. But he was in no hurry, quite enjoying just being with his girl in the moment.
"Don't remind me," Rory giggled, knowing well where he'd gotten that from. "But what I mean is that… Thank you Logan, this evening was just what I needed. Out here, forgetting everything else… I just wanted to be happy and you make me happy. You're excellent at making me happy," Rory said, demanding another kiss from him as she hung to his neck, his arms wrapping around her waist tightly as his neck streched out to kiss her back intensly.
"You're not the only one that needed it," he murmured.
"I know…, but still," Rory said, a look of gratitude in her eyes.
"Anytime, Ace," Logan replied, snuggling into her neck. He felt glad he'd managed to show her a way or (not) dealing. It was the only way he knew, and for once he felt like they were both in a predicament they didn't really want to be in. But having each other meant a lot. It was a relief head back to the hotel room with the same girl, the one he knew wanted to be with him for him and not his money. He was feeling a lot, but just being unable to make sense of it all, as everything in his life was such a contrast of emotions right now, let alone to put any of it in words.
April 27th, 2022
After Rory had gotten back from the dentist's office, she was still feeling very much mixed emotions. Em was acting up again - being annoying as hell about some advertisement she'd seen, demanding a new doll or something equivalent, which Rory had no intention of giving her considering she still needed to clean her room after what happened in the morning.
Rory felt very similar to the way she'd felt after Davie's and Martha's baptism - she wasn't handling things particularly well. In part this was rational, in part it was hormone induced. But she truly felt like she needed to lean on someone other than her 4-year-old. She heated up some Lo Mein that she had as leftovers in the fridge for Em, while herself sticking to the rest of the green smoothie she'd made in the morning, simply feeling too tired to chew. Apparently that was a valid condition now.
She wanted nothing more than Em to go to sleep, but there was no such luck yet, as somehow she still needed to tire Loki out who had lacked the lengthy outing that day. Eventually after Em had gone to bed, she couldn't just climb under the mountain of blankets in her bed like she wanted to but she went to the back yard to throw a ball with Loki. Half an hour or so would suffice, she thought, hoping it to be true, yawning at the thought of it.
She knew it was too late to call Logan, but she just needed to call. She needed to hear him.
"Ace?" Logan picked up his phone in the darkness of his hotel room, sounding concerned.
"I'm sorry to wake you," Rory said, bursting into tears as she said it, all of her emotions unraveling. In part this was about holding it in for the better part of the day, in part it was the way this call reminded her of all those late night calls to Logan back when he'd been away in London her senior year making her nostalgic on top of everything.
"Hey-hey-hey, what's wrong?" Logan asked, sitting up, feeling worried.
"I just… I don't know if I can do this..," Rory fretted.
"Do what?" Logan asked, sounding concerned and confused. She wasn't backing out on them, was she?
"Have this baby when Em hates me… I can barely handle her. I can't succeed at anything, I'm a mess… I just… I don't know what to do," she sobbed, sitting down at the bench in the backyard, keeping up the routine of tossing the ball to Loki on automatic. She saw no fun in doing it at this moment, it was like doing the dishes.
"Rory..," Logan sighed, feeling in a way a little relieved. He was surprisingly insecure with her still, fearing that by going to London in the first place, he was somehow jeopardizing what they had.
"I can't handle it.. Whoever thought this was a good idea?" Rory shrugged, sniffling.
"We did, because you're not in this alone, okay?" Logan assured her. "I'm sorry you're feeling like this, and I wish I could step on that plane right now and just come home. Because I don't want you feeling like this. You've got this.. You'll get there," he continued, his heart wrenching at the thought of her being at home all by herself.
"And guess what, this was all just topped off with Seth telling me he regrets 'letting me go'," Rory chuckled through her tears.
"He, what?" Logan couldn't believe his ears. "Where did you see him?" he asked, still in disbelief.
"At the dentist's office," Rory explained.
"What did you say?" Logan asked, partially hoping to just distract her. It was in the middle of the night in London, but he didn't really care.
"I lashed out in front of a waiting room full of people," she confessed. "Embarrassed him pretty bad, not my proudest moment," she added.
"Well good. He deserved it," Logan assured.
"Still… I didn't handle it well, I was too harsh, too… I don't know… just I unloaded on him all this crap with Em…," Rory explained. The crying began to wear off, thankfully.
"And how are you feeling?" he asked, knowing that whatever she was feeling mentally was only a apart of it.
"Like I could sleep a thousand hours," Rory admitted, yawning as she thought of it. She threw the ball again.
"What it sounds like is that you could use a day off," Logan suggested, hesitantly.
"I can't just take a day off," Rory argued.
"A mental health day is a thing. And come on, when was the last time you took a sick day? You're having a hard time, you have too much on your plate so take one thing off your plate, even if just for a day," Logan continued.
"And what would I do?" Rory didn't really know what this would help. Her problems would still be around.
"I don't know. Go see your mom, Lane… sleep…," Logan listed. He just wanted her to feel better, both mentally and physically.
"How am I going to do this, Logan? I can barely handle one kid…," she fell back into that spiraling thought of hers.
"You're not doing this alone. You won't be alone, I promise," he assured again. "You just need to get some rest," he added. "Take Em to school, bring Loki with you or… I'm sure he'll love a day with Robin," Logan added, referring to Lorelai's dog.
"Maybe you're right," she sighed.
"Hey, and if you want - you could probably still take our appointment. If you need to…," Logan suggested, knowing that their bi-weekly appointment at Birdie still stood for tomorrow evening.
"I don't know…," Rory hesitated, unsure if this was something for their therapist or just her insecurities and hormones running amok. There was no cure for the latter except for childbirth.
"I love you, you know that right? Mess and all," Logan confirmed.
"I'm sorry for waking you," Rory apologized.
"I want you to wake you. I don't want you to feel this way, and if waking me up makes you feel even a little bit better - you can always wake me," Logan added.
"I love you," Rory said, getting the ball from Loki as he returned yet again, the dog seeming impossible to tire out. "So tell me about your day?" she encouraged, her tears having by now dried up. She just needed to hear him, despite the time - she needed something else than herself to focus on.
