Hey guys, just a few things I probably should have mentioned before the start of the last chapter - I don't own Grey's Anatomy (supprising I know!) Anyway, I didn't really explain the context of this fic, it's set after Addison turns up, pretty much where the series is up to with the few key differences being that Derek and Meredith are having an affair and that George and Meredith haven't slept together (yet... lol). I hope you enjoy it - please leave lots of lovely reviews because they are really helpful to read. I don't know about other writers, but I'm not one of those plan-the-whole-story out kind of people. I usually only know a little ahead of where I'm actually writing, so reviews often affect my plots.
Bawling with the Babies
"Meredith, you look like shit." Alex glanced at her crumpled figure before turning to open his locker.
"Thanks a lot." She opened her eyes from where sat, slouched against the locker-room wall. "You really know how to make a girl feel good about herself. No wonder Izzy's ignoring you."
Alex shrugged. He was used to this acid banter. Sometimes it was the easiest way to talk, especially to Meredith. At least they both knew what it felt like to be on the outside. "She'll get over it." There was tremor of doubt in his words as he remembered the way Izzy's eyes softened when she held Denny's hand.
"Sure she will." Meredith tried to give him an encouraging smile, but it felt as though the facial muscles required had been paralysed and all through the silence of the morning, Derek's words repeated themselves inside her mind. I love you Meredith Grey.
At that moment, their brief comradeship was shattered by Christina's dramatic entry. As usual she had arrived excessively early – in case, by some strange accident of fate, another intern in the program decided they were going to steal her place as the super-super-committed-workaholic.
"I don't believe it!" She ranted, stomping loudly towards her locker. "Of all the overly-sentimental, numb-skulled idiots…" Suddenly, seeing Meredith under the full impact of the fluorescent lights she halted into what was becoming the morning ritual of complaining about life. "God Mer, you look like shit."
Before Alex could insert his "told you so", Meredith let out a strangled groan, and, heaving to her feet, stormed out of the room.
"What?" Christina demanded, "I was just saying."
Rounds that morning were a tense affair. Meredith may have avoided breakfast, leaving for work before either of her housemates was awake, but she couldn't avoid them forever and as the group trailed after Dr. Bailey she could feel George's eyes wearing into the back of her head.
Oblivious to this silent pursuit the others marched on in their various states of sleep deprivation, each carrying their own concerns. At last, Bailey rounded on the small flock to hand out the daily assignments.
"O'Malley, you're with Dr. Shepherd. Stevens, you and Karev are with Burk, Grey, Montgomery-Shepherd, and you Yang, are lucky enough to score me." The interns paused for a moment, each assessing their fortune for the day. Meredith let a small sigh escape. Fists clenched she told herself she had the strength to do this. It had been over a month since the older woman had asked to work with her. "Well what y'all waiting for?" With Bailey' voice still ringing in their ears they hurried off.
Meredith felt her feet slow as she made her way towards the neonatal wing. She could hear the high pitched crying of sick babies and she wondered whether anyone would notice if she joined them.
At last, she caught sight of the long crimson hair, burning against the back of a white lab-coat. She glanced at her hands and saw that they were trembling as she made her way through the labyrinth of cots. Hearing her approach, Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd spun around, a new-born in her arms.
Terrified, Meredith tried to focus all her attention on the patient. A little boy according to the hospital tag, he was tiny. Shorter than the length of her forearm, his face red and blotchy, eyes still closed and little lips, stretched wide, gulping in lungfuls of air.
"Dr. Grey," Addison wasn't entirely sure what had possessed her to request Meredith today, but her husband had slept at the 'hospital' again last night. Addison wasn't an idiot. She knew her marriage had got about as bad as was humanly possible, but she still hoped that they were faithful. Faithful to this memory of happiness – the only thing they still shared.
Passing the little boy to Meredith, she almost smiled as the infant, confused by the change, burst into an indignant howling. The younger woman rocked the child and talked to it, but the baby continued to cry, at last, in desperation, Meredith kissed him gently on the pink top of his little bald head. To the astonishment of both women, the baby lapsed into hickuppy silence.
Addison glanced at Meredith, and, she wasn't sure what mad impulse drove her to ask what she had been silently asking for so long, she whispered, "Are you still screwing my husband?"
