Disclaimer: characters of Danny and Lindsay borrowed from CBS. Refers to scenes and content from "Run Silent, Run Deep."
A/N: Some of you have read this on the D/L forum already (thanks for your thumb-ups), but I am uploading it here for the 'rest of the world'. Just a shortie, meant to evoke warm fuzzies and perhaps unleash a SQUEE.
Comfort
"Danny," Lindsay whispered softly as she knocked on the hospital room door. In her other hand she clutched the bag with the tape recorder.
He was standing beside his brother's bed, his back to her. His usually-strong frame looked slumped and defeated.
"I'm so sorry to bother you," she apologized, as he turned around to face her.
"You're never a bother, Montana," Danny replied, attempting to smile. It failed. Seeing him in such a morose state sent a bolt of pain through Lindsay. Fending off a shudder, she held up the tiny silver tape recorder.
"I found this with Louie's clothes. He was wearing a wire when he went to see Sonny."
Danny's red-rimmed eyes widened as he took a few steps towards her. "A wire? Did he get a confession on there?"
Lindsay nodded. "Mac said you'll want to hear this."
Motioning to the hallway, Danny said, "Let's go someplace quiet."
The two of them found a family lounge down the hall, which was thankfully empty. Lindsay handed the recorder to Danny.
"I can leave you alone," she told him, staying in the doorway while he entered the room. "If you want to listen in private, I'll just come back in a few minutes."
Danny flipped on the lights, and sat down on a chair. "Will you stay?" he asked, unable to look at her directly.
Lindsay just nodded, actually relieved at the invitation, and then took a seat next to him. He hit the 'play' button, and his brother's voice filled the room. It ran for several minutes. When it stopped, Danny hit the 'rewind' button, then played it over again.
"Did Mac get him?" he asked hoarsely, referring to Sonny. He was bent forward in the chair, rubbing his temples.
"Yes," Lindsay responded quietly. "He's in jail, and you're in the clear."
"Thanks to my brother," he muttered softly. Danny handed her the tape recorder, then stood up.
"I'm gonna go back and sit with Louie awhile," he said, stretching his arms and rubbing his eyes.
"Mac's going to stop over later," Lindsay told him as she also stood up. "I'm going home now."
"Thanks for bringing that," he nodded at the tape. They walked back into the hallway, and Lindsay dug in her pocket. She handed Danny the business card on which she had scribbled her address.
"Look, Danny, if you need anything, anything at all, let me know," she said. "I live three blocks from here, so if you need a place to crash, or want company…" her voice trailed off.
Seeing Danny like this was killing her, how could she explain that to him? She wanted to throw her arms around his neck, hold him tight, and tell him how she wished she had a button to press that would make everything alright for him.
Instead, she just added, "I mean that," and walked away.
As she strode down the sidewalk outside, a jingling sound in her pocket alerted her. Reaching down, she realized she had forgotten to give Danny something. With Louie's clothes were his own set of dog tags, similar to the ones she had seen on Danny. Gripping the chain, she jogged back to the hospital and towards Louie's room. The door was open, and once again she saw Danny standing beside the bed. This time, he was speaking.
"I forgive you," she heard him tell his brother, his voice on the verge of cracking.
Lindsay realized it was not a good time to interrupt, and crept away silently. The necklace could wait. As she exited the building this time, the dampness in her eyes burred her vision.
When she stepped into the hot shower in the privacy of her bathroom, Lindsay finally let the tears flow. She could deny their existence this way: blame the moisture that dripped down her face on the pounding water. Why did it hurt so much? He was just a guy she worked with, she tried to tell herself. It would be normal to feel sorry for him, for his brother: but why did seeing him so tortured cause her heart to twist up? This was not the Danny she had grown to care for – the one with the quirky grin, silly jokes, and flirty comments. But she cared for this other Danny just as much. Perhaps in a way, this frightened her.
She wept until the water ran cold.
Once out of the shower, she slipped into lounge pants and a camisole, then poured herself a glass of wine. All she had in her stomach was the banana she had forced down when she first got home. She had no appetite whatsoever, and the alcohol burned her empty stomach. The burn spread itself throughout her body, allowing her to relax slightly.
She had just curled up on the sofa when the buzzer sounded in her apartment, causing her to jump.
She dashed to the intercom and pressed the button. "Hello?"
"Montana."
That was all she needed to hear. "Come on up, Danny," she instructed.
Less than a minute later, Danny was at her door. She ushered him in and took his coat.
"Sit down. Are you hungry? Do you want a drink?" she offered.
"Nah, I'm good," he yawned. He collapsed onto her sofa, stretching out his legs. Lindsay sat on the end near his feet, her legs tucked under her. She studied Danny for a moment. The fatigue was etched into his face.
"I would ask how you are," Lindsay said, "but it's probably a stupid question."
Danny smiled sadly. "Like I said, I've been better." His voice was heavy with drowsiness. "But thanks for letting me come over."
Lindsay was quiet for a moment, thinking. "I just wanted to do something," she admitted softly. "I really care about you, Danny."
His lack of response made her wonder if she had said too much. Glancing over, she realized Danny had fallen asleep. His left arm was draped across the back of the sofa, and his chin was tucked down on his chest. Unfolding her fleece Montana State blanket, she draped it across him. She leaned over him to carefully remove his glasses, then set them on the coffee table. As she was balanced precariously over Danny's body, his left arm fell down across her back, pinning her on top of him.
"Lindsay," he muttered in his sleep.
Did he just say 'Lindsay'? She thought. She lay there on his chest for a moment, unsure of what to do. She briefly imagined him waking up and recoiling in horror at seeing her there on top of him; and sending her tumbling to the floor. But to move off of him would surely wake him up, and he needed his rest. So after a few moments, she allowed her body to relax and fold into his. She felt guilty for enjoying the warmth and closeness. She may have imagined this scenario many times over, but it was never under these circumstances. Still, she felt a sense of serenity as she rested her head on his chest, concentrating on the sound of his heartbeat. Before long, she drifted off to sleep.
It was still dark when Lindsay awoke in the morning. She had never spent a more peaceful night: even though his belt buckle was digging into her belly, and her legs were stiff from lack of room. Being so close to him had made her feel as if they existed in their own private universe, if only for the night.
Now she felt him stir underneath her, and she held her breath as his eyes opened. How would he react? She watched a series of emotions play across his face: first confusion, at where he was. Then anguish, remembering the past 24 hours. But when he saw her, a tiny smile formed at the corners of his mouth.
"Montana," he murmured sleepily. Her camisole had slightly ridden up, revealing her lower back. His fingers lightly grazed the skin there. The warm touch made her breath catch.
"Wow, Messer," Lindsay tried to joke. "We just slept together, and you haven't even taken me on a date yet."
Her reward was the smallest of grins. "I'll make it up to you," he promised.
He hadn't removed his arm from her back; in fact, she thought maybe he was holding her just a bit tighter. Feeling daring, she wriggled down a little closer against him, savoring the sweetness.
"How did you sleep?" she whispered, wondering if she had been able to bring him as much comfort as he had brought her.
"Mmmm," was all he said, his eyes beginning to drift shut once again.
"Do you need to call the hospital?"
He shook his head. "The nurses said they would call my cell if there was any change."
Still on top of him, Lindsay propped herself on her elbows. Looking at his lips while he talked, she desperately wanted to kiss him. But now was the wrong time. Hopefully, there would be plenty of time for that in the future. Presently, she wasn't going to take advantage of his current vulnerable state.
"I gotta get going," Danny said, fighting to wake himself up. "My parents are going to be there soon."
"Let me make you come coffee first," Lindsay suggested. "You can take it along." She reluctantly rolled off of him, and the sudden lack of physical contact chilled her to the bone.
Fifteen minutes later, they both stood in the doorway, awkwardly attempting their goodbyes. Lindsay slid Danny's coat over his shoulders, and handed him a travel mug filled with steaming coffee.
"Thank you," Danny started.
"No need to thank me," Lindsay shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm glad you came."
Danny shook his head. "No, I mean yesterday. When you got those DNA results…" He cleared his throat. "Why did you come to me first, anyway?"
Standing on her tip toes, she pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.
"Because, Danny, I believe in you," she whispered. She suddenly remembered the dog tags from Louie's belongings.
"Wait one second, I have something for you." She padded over to her own coat, and dug them out of the pocket.
"They're Louie's," she explained as she presented them to Danny on her outstretched palm. "I thought you might want to hang on to them."
Obviously touched, Danny fingered the tags delicately, then put the chain with Louie's tags over his head. Next, he took off his own necklace, and slipped it around Lindsay's head. She felt her eyes grow moist.
"Keep these safe for me, okay?" he asked.
Unable to speak, Lindsay merely nodded. Danny took her chin in his hand, directing her face upwards, and kissed her lips softly.
Then he was gone.
A/N: Complete. ) Now I have to get back to finishing Miles to Go.
