Disclaimer: Nope don't own them or anything like it.

Spoilers: It's set Post Grave Danger so spoilers for Season 5 & 6

Author's Note: It's a darker story than others I've posted, no one beta'd so any errors our mine own. R&R let me know what you think.


She felt herself drifting up through the layers of sleep to wakefulness and wished she could stay in warm darkness that was enveloping her. The world of light and noise held no joy for her now if it meant something had happened to her family, the CSIs were the only people in her life who gave a damn if she was alive or dead. She remembered that the bomb had blown up and quite possibly taken most of that family with it. Sara wasn't sure she could face that kind of loss again.

Each loss had gotten harder and harder. There was the car crash that had killed her grandparents. A loss that may have started the downward spiral that led to her father's death and her brother's eventual overdose until she was left without family ties. Each time the foster families she'd enjoyed living with had been taken away until she stopped making any effort to get to know them. She'd formed loose relationships in college and at the San Francisco lab. It was only here that she had connected to her co-workers on another level and for the first time in years she had a sort of family.

Brass and Dr. Robbins had become her surrogate Uncles, Greg, Nicky and Warrick her brothers, Catherine filled the holes left when her mother went to prison, but was more an older sister than parent figure. While the other lab rats and police officers were assorted cousins and friends. It was only her role with Grissom that caused confusion in the scenario. She didn't have familial feelings for him, except in the lets start a family way. He was more than a friend and mentor, but less than a lover. All she knew for certain where Grissom was concerned was that regardless of his role he was a vital part of her existence even if all he could be was her supervisor. Maybe that was why she had stayed holding onto the possibility Grissom would figure 'this' out long after common sense told her to give up.

The thought of losing even one of them hurt, but to lose all of them including Grissom had her chest constricting painfully. She wanted to know what had happened, but was afraid to learn the truth. In this case ignorance was bliss and in her denial she could pretend at least for now that when she opened her eyes everything would be okay. That she'd been alone because the guys were processing a crime scene and working on catching the bad guy, but they'd come visit before and after shift.

Sara wanted to drift back to sleep to return to a state of blissful unawareness, but a repeating scratching noise was keeping her awake. The first time she'd noticed it, she'd dismissed it as one of the nurses noting her vitals in the chart, but it hadn't stopped and it was keeping her awake. Opening her eyes a fraction to avoid the stabbing light she waited for her eyes to adjust so she could look for the source of the noise and tell it stop.

The noise stopped as the writer noticed her eyelids opening. She heard the chair scrape against the tile floor and something else made a small noise that she couldn't identify. The noises were followed by warm slightly calloused fingertips brushing hair away from her face. Sara felt herself choke on the déjà vu; Jim had done that at the crime scene before the explosion did that mean he was okay and Grissom wasn't? She felt the tears well again, but wouldn't let them fall until she knew.

"Sara?" If her eyes weren't fully open before than they were now. She had heard Grissom say her name in a thousand different ways over the years, but none had prepared her for this. It was a soothing balm to her conscience knowing he was alive, but the tone had triggered a cascade of feelings. There was the flicker of intense desire, a wish to comfort and be comforted which combined to set off a riot of butterflies in her stomach while the tears she'd been holding back dribbled down her face.

"Griss?" He leaned closer, blocking out some of the sunlight so she could see him better. Reaching out she touched him first to reassure herself he was real and then with a single finger she traced the abrasions that hadn't been there the last time she'd seen him. "Bomb?"

"Yeah. After they got us both safely out my flashlight slipped out of a pocket and bounced down the stairs and set it off. No one was seriously hurt." He caught the hand that had been near his face in his own larger hands. Her skin was still colder than usual, but warmer than it had been last night.

"Good."

"How do you feel?"

'Tired, thirsty, hungry and my chest hurts."

He nodded and she saw something flicker in his blue eyes giving them an intensity she didn't recognize. "I'm not surprised you haven't eaten or slept since before your last shift, but we'll have to check with the doctors' before you can have anything. I had them note on your chart in bold letters that you're a vegetarian and that means no meat." He stroked the hand he was holding, as he weighed how best to share the next part. "Honey your chest hurts because they had to do CPR and shock your heart, but Al assures me that's normal in cases of severe hypothermia and that you'll be good as new in a week or two."

He wasn't looking at her as he continued, though he continued to draw small circles on her hand with his thumb. "It scared the hell out of all us; to find you and then only have it be too little too late. Everyone wanted to be here when you woke up, but the Doctors and Nurse Ratchet out there wouldn't let anyone stay."

Looking into her expressive mocha eyes he saw the unasked question. "Brass and Robbins convinced them that as your Doctor I should be allowed to stay. Of course they neglected to mention that I'm a PhD not an MD."

She smiled at that, it wasn't a stunning smile, but it warmed his heart to see anything other than fear in her eyes. Sara wanted to ask more, to savor this side of Grissom, but the exhaustion was back and she couldn't seem to keep her eyelids up. "Close your eyes Sweetheart the guys and most of the lab will come back this evening after they move you out of CCU. So you should rest now because when you wake up everyone who loves you will be here."

Her eyelids fluttered closed, but opened up a moment later. He saw the fear, as if she was afraid this was a dream. "It's okay Honey you're safe and I'll be right here when you wake up." She gave a little sigh as she drifted back to sleep.

He thought Sara might have heard his little slip when he spotted the small smile on her face as she slept. He watched her even breathing for a few minutes until he was certain she was really asleep before sitting back in the chair and picking up the pen and paper he'd set aside. The scratching noise of his pen moving across the page started again. He didn't think about the past or the future. Today he just focused on the present, pausing every few minutes to watch her breathe or gently touch her hand or face to reassure himself that she was alive and warm, reminding himself that there would be plenty of time for everything else later, Sara was alive and healthy and he wouldn't let it be it too late.

TBC