Chapter 5: Never

James and Sirius did not return for 3 days. It was early Saturday morning when they came out of the fireplace in Dumbledore's office. Dusting the soot off their clothes they looked up at Dumbledore, who was smiling sympathetically at them.

'Hello, Boys. I was so sorry to hear about your father, James, and really yours as well, Sirius. But, I am glad your back.'

'Thankyou, Sir.' James said, bowing his head.

'Now that you are back at school, I hope you catch up with your friends. Friends can be the greatest help in times like these.' Dumbledore said, twinkle in his eye.

'Thankyou for the advice, sir, we plan to do just that.' Sirius said.

'Excellent, most excellent. I'm glad to see that you boys are being strong about all this.' Dumbledore said.

'Thankyou, sir, we are moving on.'

'That's good to hear boys, but never forget what happened, it may be important some day.' Dumbledore finished, with a mysterious glint in his eye. The two boys looked at each other and then shrugged. They would never understand Dumbledore.

As they turned to walk out, Dumbledore spoke.

'And boys,' James and Sirius turned around. 'Do attempt to stay out of trouble.'

The boys looked innocently at him.

'Trouble? Why would we ever get into trouble, Sir?' Sirius said innocently, while James smirked.

Dumbledore smiled and ushered them out with his hand.

'So are you alright?' Remus asked the two boys.

They were sitting in the common room by the fireplace, all four marauders, including Peter, who looked immensely bored.

'Yeah, I mean, he was always off chasing someone or other, and we barely saw him. You could say I barely knew him. It was upsetting though, you know, it is even if you don't know them.' James said. It was true that he had barely known his dad, but it had still hurt. He had always had a more close relationship with his mother, who was really upset about it. James felt kinda bad that he didn't feel as upset about it, but knew that he couldn't help it. Still he was ready to move on, as bad as that sounded.

'Yeah, really the only reason we were there was because mummy P needed us, especially at the funeral yesterday.' Sirius added.

The funeral had been anything but joyous, which is what most funerals are like, except for the type when you remember all the great things they did. Well this one hadn't been that type. Tears, sad music, sad readings, sad poems, sobs. That was the basic gist of it in James' opinion. His mother had been crying so much that James had to go up and read the poem she had written. After the funeral he was told that he was insensitive, because he was the only one who hadn't cried when up there.

'Well I know the best thing to cheer you guys up completely,' Remus said, mischevious glint in his eyes. Whenever you see a Marauder with that look in their eyes, it is suggested that you run, and run fast, and maybe hide in a closet until you know its safe. 'A prank!' The others said with him.

'What a great idea! And I reckon I know just who to pull it on!' Srius said, mischevious glint forming in his eye. Two marauders with this glint in their eyes, that's even worse.

'Is it slimy?' James asked, mischevious glint coming to his hazel eyes. Oh no, 3 Marauders with mischevious glints, really you need to feel sorry for whoever is in their line of fire.

Sirius nodded, grinning. Unfortunately, Peter hadn't caught on yet, as he was a little slow.

'What is it?' He asked, dumfounded.

'The slimeball!' The three very dangerous marauders cried.

'Oh! Snape!' Peter exclaimed, mischevious glint in his eyes. Now, when there are four marauders with the mischevious glint in their eyes, well, I suggest you maybe take a vacation, away from Hogwarts, as far away as you can get.

'So what's the plan?' Remus asked them.

For the next half an hour the Marauders had their heads together, whispering furiously. Finally their heads came up, and they all not only had mischievous glints in their eyes, but also mischievous grins.

I suggest Antarctica. It's barren, unpopulated land, and very far away from Hogwarts, and Marauders.

As they were perfecting their plan, Lily and her friends came down. James looked up before anyone else, and smiled as he saw Lily. She hadn't noticed him yet, so James took a little look at her.

Lily was medium height, with beautiful red hair that flowed down to her shoulders in delicate curls. Her eyes were a bright green, and her skin lightly tanned. All her curves had filled out beautifully, and they could be seen fairly clearly in muggle clothes, without the bulky uniforms covering them up. She was so beautiful.

James took his eyes away from her, only to see Sirius goggling at Ellen. He supposed he didn't see her in Muggle clothes often, and her wearing something close to a micro skirt and a black top that didn't leave much to the imagination, could pose as a shock to the system.

The girls noticed the boys and smiled. They walked over to the boys, while Sirius tried desperately to see anything under Ellen's skirt as it rode up while she walked.

'Hi boys. It's good to see you two back.' Ellen said, looking strangely at Sirius who was jumping up and down in his seat and pumping his fists in the air in triumpth, and was mouthing what seemed to be "Oh yeah!" with It seemed he had seen something under the skirt, not that there couldn't be much that wasn't already revealed by the sheer shortness of the skirt. He seemed to snap out of it once she spoke and grinned.

'It is?' He asked, slightly surprised. Ellen rolled her eyes.

'Oh yeah,' Then she smirked, and her voice changed. 'Especially you.' She finished in a seductive voice. Sirius almost jumped in his seat.

'Really?' He asked, really surprised. It seemed he had forgotten what happened the last time Ellen put on a seductive voice, which was really quite stupid.

'Yeah,' She said, eyeing him down and raising an eyebrow in a sexy manner. 'You know, why don't you come over here?'

Sirius jumped out of the chair and ran around the couch, over to where Ellen was. James smacked his head with a hand, marvelling at the sheer stupidity of his friend, and Remus held back laughter. Peter, of course, had no idea what on Earth was going on. None of them bothered to warn Sirius about what was going to happen. The three other girls managed to stifle giggles, and were becoming red from holding back laughter.

Ellen smirked seductively at Sirius and moved him so that the back of his legs were touching the couch. Sirius was thinking Oh yeah! Christmas has come early! I wont even have to finish that list! She is drawn to me! Ellen started to trace circles around his chest, moving very close, one leg in between his.

'I think your very brave for getting over this so quickly,' She said 'And strong.'

'Well,' Sirius said, attempting to be modest, but smirking at the same time. 'Really?'

'Yeah.' She said in an airy voice. She ran her leg a little way up his, and Sirius grinned. Then she touched his cheek, And then moved her face closer to his. Sirius then took the liberty of closing the distance and snogging her passionately. Ellen started to kiss him back, not looking the least bit worried about the fact that Sirius' hands were travelling very close to the hem of her skirt. Their friends looked shocked at this, and hadn't a clue what Ellen was doing. James pointed, speechless at Ellen, as if asking Lily and her friends what was happening. They shrugged. Suddenly, when Sirius had become fairly involved with moving his hand up her skirt, Ellen pushed and Sirius fell over backwards, doing a somersault over the couch and landing on the floor.

Everybody laughed at him and Ellen pulled her tongue out of her mouth and attempted to wipe it.

'Disgusting,' she muttered. 'That's gonna give me nightmares.'

Sirius jumped to his feet, and jumped over the couch back to Ellen, slinking his arms around her waist.

'My dear, it seemed I stumbled, but I have returned!' He cried, moving his face in. 'Now, where were we?'

Ellen smirked at him.

'No, Sirius Black, It seems you didn't stumble, but I pushed you!' She said, demonstrating by sending him flying over the couch again to land on the floor.

Laughter burst out from the group once again and James and Remus grabbed Sirius up off the ground and sat him down on a chair as the girls walked off.

'Just give up, Padfoot.' James said, patting his friend on the back.

Sirius leapt out of his spot.

'No! I will never give up! Not until I am about to die of lack of sexual activity will I stop!'

'I didn't know you could die from lack of sexual activity?' Remus stated, smiling.

'Prostate cancer?' James guessed.

'As I was saying, I will not give up on Ellen Lacey! Never Ever! I need her and she needs me!'

'She needs you?' James asked, surprised.

'She just doesn't know it yet! But she does! And one day she will realise and I will be there! And until that day I plan to bug her continuously, play pranks on her and dream about her at night! But when the day comes, it will be a fine day! A fine day for Sirius Black-and the world!' He finished with one fist held high and one leg on the coffee table, and passing Gryffindors were looking at him strangely.

'Yeah a fine day when he stops talking about how beautiful her eyes are, or how pretty her hair is.' James muttered to Remus, who chuckled.

'Just leave it, Padfoot. You have no chance.' Remus said.

'James has no chance! But hes been after Lily for years! James hasn't given up, even though the odds of her liking him are 1 to infinity!'

'Hey!' James said in a hurt voice.

'Well it's true, James. Honestly. Well anyway back to the topic. If James can stay at such a hopeless case, then so can I! And I will! As soon as I've had something to eat!' Sirius finished.

James and Remus shook their heads at him and his speech, Peter hadn't yet caught on about what it was.

'Before you eat, we have a prank to pull.' Remus said, mischevious glint returning to his eyes, then to all the marauders.

Yes, I defiantly suggest Antarctica.

That morning as Severus Snape walked into the Great Hall for breakfast, everyone went silent. Many shocked faces greeted him, and then people started to laugh. Soon the whole great hall was filled with laughter.

You see, his appearance had changed a bit, well a bit was an understatement really. His usual black greasy hair was now a fluro pink moehawk with its own private fireworks display. On top of this he wore nothing, besides a pink frilly pair of underpants. On his back in huge flashing letters was "The slimeball tries Pink! Love from the Marauders." And on the front of his pale body was another phrase that read "Take a picture; it'll last longer"

Though the other part to this spell was one of the most cunning things about it. When Snape looked at himself, he would see no difference. Just himself with greasy black hair and normal robes on. And what was even better, was that if anyone tried to tell him what he looked like, it would come out something along the lines of "Goodness you look smashing today!"

The Marauders came into the hall while Snape was attempting to find out what was so funny. They too laughed loudly at Snape, and Sirius snapped a few shots. Then they went down and sat with the girls.

'This doesn't have anything to do with you, now does it?' Anna asked the 4 accusingly.

James, Sirius and Remus all looked innocent, while Peter didn't catch on and simply nodded his head, grinning until Sirius whacked him under the table and he finally got the idea.

'Your attempt at innocent is very reassuring.' Lily said sarcastically.

'Well whoever did it are pure geniuses,' said Ellen, looking at Sirius. 'You know whoever did this, I might possibly think about going out with-'

'It was me!' Sirius cried, leaping out of his chair. 'I am the mastermind behind the master prank! Now how's about that date?'

'Hmm let me think,' Ellen said looking thoughtful, Sirius looking excited. 'No!'

'But, you said that you would date the genius behind-'

'No, I said that I would think about dating the genius behind it. And I thought about it!' Ellen said, smirking.

'You thought about dating-m-m-me!' Sirius asked, looking astounded.

'Yeah, for a millisecond. Why?' Ellen asked, raising an eyebrow at him. But now Sirius was off in his own little world.

'She thought about dating me,' He babbled. 'Yes!' He cried, pumping his fists in the air. 'I knew she liked me!'

'Like you? In your dreams, Black! I will never ever like you!' Ellen cried.

'You can't take back what you've already said!' Sirius said, skipping around in a circle chanting something along the lines of "She likes me! I knew it!" to a tuneless song. As he was doing this, with Ellen putting her head in her hands and shaking it, and the others staring in bewilderment at Sirius, Professor Albus came to their section of the table.

'Alright there, Black?' She asked. Sirius jumped a couple of feet in the air and turned to her.

'Ahh, yes Professor! Perfectly fine!' Sirius said, beaming innocently.

Professor Albus simply raised an eyebrow and decided not to go there. Then she turned to those still seated at the table.

'Potter? Evans? You have your detention on Monday night in the library, at seven 'o' clock sharp. The Librarian will tell you how your punishment will be served when you get there.' Professor Albus said, turning around once Lily and James nodded, shaking her head at Sirius, and walking back to the staff table.

'How perfectly boring.' James remarked. Lily was slightly surprised. She had thought he would have taken this chance to remark about how wonderful it would be to spend time with her. Maybe he had just forgotten.

The boys left soon after, claiming they needed to see to production of very important pictures. It left the girls together to muse over their morning.

'I am so sick of Black! I swear if he attempts to ask him out I'll-I'll-' Ellen couldn't seem to express what she would do in words, and instead demonstrated it with some very picturesque hand movements. Lily smirked.

'You know Ellen, I think you like him.' She said, watching her friend closely. It took a moment for Ellen to reply, but that moment of silence gave away her secret to her friends.

'Of course I don't! That's absurd! Are you feeling ill?' Ellen asked.

'Aha! You do like him!' Lily cried in triumpth. Ellen tried to protest, but Anna butted in.

'Don't bother denying it!' she exclaimed.

'We know your secret!' Alice added in.

Lily gasped.

'You liked the kiss didn't you? You didn't just kiss back so your plan would work, you kissed back cause you like him!' Lily screeched.

Ellen was silent for a few moments, and her friends thought they were about to get a huge confession. But then she stood up.

'I will never never never never never like Sirius Black, Got that? Never in a million years!'

And with that she stormed out of the Great Hall, leaving her bewildered friends speechless.

A/N: well next chapter done…wow I am zooming! This is much easier to write than my previous story…but that's probably because of the pairing! Anyway! I'm sorry that their hasn't been much of Lily and James…but the whole next chapter is dedicated to them so ill hurry up and write it! Please Read and review!