Bad Decisions Part 2 Disclaimers: I own nothing, please don't sue. Recaps: Natalie recalled having a blackout after talking to a cute guy named Larry at Xanadu, then waking up in his bed wearing his T-shirt. She called John to come pick her up but didn't tell him what had happened. Then (after having STD testing done) she admitted to John that she loved him and was ready for another chance. They made love, and she soon found out that she was pregnant. She didn't know who the father was for certain. Then, 9 months into the pregnancy, she let the cat out of the bag…

Previously

"Damn it, John! This might not even BE your baby!" Her hands flew to her mouth, but it was too late. John looked at her, absolutely stunned as his mind tried to absorb her words.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god…" Natalie murmured as she desperately stumbled for the door, tears blurring her vision. John felt like someone had ripped the heart from his chest as he watched her, tears filling his eyes. This child, the baby he loved so much already, might belong to another man? How could she have done this to him? His mind was racing but it suddenly registered that she was opening the door and stumbling outside.

He followed her, grabbing her arm and leading her back inside. She followed without protest, her head bowed as tears streamed down her cheeks. He pointed to the couch wordlessly and she sat, looking down at her hands folded in her lap. "Why?" The word came out a strangled gasp, and she met his eyes. "I—" She shook her head and buried her face in her hands. Suddenly she felt his hands gently but firmly forcing her chin up so that their gazes met.

"Why, Natalie? Why would you keep something like that from me?" She wanted to jerk her gaze from his but his hands held her head steady. "Tell me!" A sob tore from her throat at the anguish and fury she heard in his voice. "You want to know why? I don't know myself what happened that night! I went out to get drunk because you and I had another of our huge fights. I was talking to this guy, then the next thing I know I'm waking up in a stranger's bed wearing his T-shirt. I was terrified, John." She could see the wheels turning in his brain as he slowly said, "The day that you called me." She nodded.

"I had the STD testing done and then when the results came back negative it was like this huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. But I couldn't sleep for a long time because this little voice in my brain would whisper about the things I might have done. I have no idea what happened between me and Larry, and to be honest that still scares the hell out of me." Her tears and words were both coming faster now as she rid herself of this guilt she had borne for almost a year.

"Then I found out that I might be pregnant and for the slightest second I was overjoyed. But then—" Her breath catches in her throat. "I wanted to tell you but I was afraid that you would leave and I'd never have a father for my baby." John's voice was thick with anger and laced with pain as he replied bitterly, "I would've been here for you. I wouldn't have left without finding out if this baby is mine, and if you had told me before we might have had a chance of coming back from this."

She nodded slowly, wanting to protest but knowing she had no right. She stood up with some difficulty and reached down to touch his cheek before slowly walking out of the apartment. The door clicked shut, and on the outside Natalie leaned back against the wall trying to stop the flood of tears. On the inside, John turned so that he was leaning back against the couch as he ran his hands over his face and wondered what the hell he was going to do.

Two weeks later, John nervously looked at the carriage house door before taking a deep breath and knocking. Natalie opened the door, her face tearstained and puffy. She looked at him silently, expecting to be berated again. Instead he merely gave her the slightest hint of a smile and asked to come in. She held the door open, silently giving him permission.

He walked in, looking at the large mess around him. There were dishes piled up in the sink, there was a blanket tossed on the floor from where Natalie had obviously just thrown it down when she came to the door, and there was trash everywhere. He turned to her and she shrugged. "I haven't felt much like housekeeping." She doubled over, grimacing. John was at her side in an instant, guiding her by the arm to sit on the couch. She sat back up after the pain had passed, breathing slowing as she glanced at his hand on her shoulder. She slowly looked up to meet his eyes.

"John," she whispered as his lips slowly closed on hers. He sat on the couch beside her, wrapping her in his arms and pulling her as close as her large belly would allow. His hand slipped down to caress her belly, thrilling at the feel of the baby's answering kick. "God, I've missed this." She smiled against his lips. "I have too. But-" She pushed him back slightly, her hand unconciously rubbing her stomach as she gathered the strength she needed.

"I need to know that this isn't just because of the baby. Are you willing to be with me, or just be in the baby's life? Either way, I understand. I just need to know where we stand." John sighed, his hand moving over her hair. Hadn't he spent the last four days going over this in his mind? He hadn't reached a decision but looking into her eyes he knew that his answer was there. "I love you, Natalie. I understand that you went through something horrible, and given our past experience with secrets you should have known better than to try to hide it, but to be honest it is hardly any worse than what I did. I can't hold you responsible for being frightened and hurt, especially when I think about the nights I woke up to find you covered in sweat and shaking in my arms."

She smiled, embracing him tightly as he kissed her forehead. "I'm going to be here for you no matter what. I promise. Even if it turns out--" He swallowed. "If this baby isn't mine, I'm still going to love him or her as though they were my own. You have my word on that."

TO BE CONTINUED

Author's Note: I'm not too sure about the time it took John to come to these conclusions, or about his little speech. RE the time span though, the girl is about to bust (over 9 months pregnant hello) so he didn't have the luxury time to be angry.