Chapter 212
July 26th, 2022
Rory had just been out of bed, needing to relieve the pressure to her bladder, but slipped now back between the sheets, wanting to linger a moment longer. Logan was by now quite used to her doing that several times a night - it hardly distrubed his sleep just briefly registering the loss of contact.
And now Logan could definitely feel her warm and naked body slip back besides him, even positioning his hand back to its place on her hip. His eyes were still closed, but he could just sense her eyes on him, her breathing not quite being that of a sleeping person even a few minutes later
"You got enough sleep tonight, Ace?" Logan asked, beginning to open his eyes. On some nights she got up a lot and then struggled to get back asleep - that sometimes meant she woke up not terribly well rested while on others led to interesting night-time encounters - often the naughty kind, Rory needing an orgasm before she drifted back to sleep.
Her eyes were indeed open but she enjoyed the softness of the bed under her - this was an exceptionally good bed, almost as good as the one they had at home, and her changing body was appreciating the support her small bodypillow that she'd brought along, provided when she bothered to position it just right.
"Uh-uh," Rory replied. How could one really complain about waking up in paradise - the palm trees behind their window, rustling gently in the ocean breeze, birds singing and knowing one didn't have to be anywhere on time for another week. By now there was likely a delicious breakfast spread waiting for them downstairs in the kitchen, as they'd grown to expect, but they'd had a late dinner so neither was yet starving.
"How do you think it'll work… the night-time waking because of the baby?" Logan asked, having thought about it for some time now. He recalled from years ago how Honor had complained about Josh sleeping like a log through some of the worst colicy nights with her youngest.
This brought back memories for Rory for sure. She recalled how Jess had in the very beginning insisted on getting up with her and helping her however he could, even if just changing the diaper or burping part. But it had become pretty clear within a couple of days how pointless that was, Jess often dozing off while she breastfed. By the morning they'd both been exhaustes.
"That depends," Rory replied, wondering how to put it.
"On what?" Logan asked, wondering why she was thinking this over so carefully.
"On whether she'll learn to latch properly, I guess. I know sometimes breastfeeding doesn't work out so if that's the case there would be a lot more you could help me with. But if it is anything like with Em, there rarely is much for you to do at night. Evenings - yes, night - not that much," Rory replied, but she was aware that she was choosing her words carefully. She didn't want to make Logan feel like she was this big know-it-all because of her former experience and he was asking silly questions. Nor did she particularly want to reminisce about those former times openly. She knew those memories stung - for both of them. She didn't want to discuss and compare the times with Jess much, despite knowing that those times had included both the good and the bad.
"I don't know - I kind of feel like I'd feel guilty if you have to do all the waking up at night. It's bad enough now already - I just don't like seeing you struggle," Logan explained.
"Oh just wait until labor, that's the real guilt trip - or so I've heard," Rory tried to laugh about it, but Logan knew her well enough to know this was a nervous laughter.
"Yeah, I can imagine," Logan said, compassionately. "But just so you know, you can wake me anytime you need help, right?" he offered, which just made Rory's heart melt. Of course she was going to wake her if she needed him, but it was sweet of him to say it.
"Well, I guess we'll just have to take it one day at the time, and see what happens. Just look at Paris - having Ariel early was hardly in her plans," Rory said, knowing well that Paris would've gladly been the kind of 'write down' her due date and stick to it and had she not been a medical professional she probably would've been the kind to go for the scheduled C-section much like Sherry. But Paris knew better than that - she knew the healing was a lot easier if these things happened naturally.
"Yeah, it's the uncertainty that makes me worry. I'm not really used to having this little control," Logan confessed.
"And you won't have control for quite a while. It was one of the biggest things I had to get used to after having Em. Like before a child you could just get up at noon and go about your business, or go to bed at 2 AM if you felt like writing, but after… it's like you go to bed when she lets you and you wake when she demands it. Thankfully, as you've see, it gets better with time," Rory explained, laughingly.
"Hm-hm," Logan said, caressing her bump gently.
"Do you know if Finn was in the room with Paris when Ariel was born?" Rory asked, having just briefly called Paris yesterday for personal congratulations. But knowing better than what Paris needed the most right now was peace and quiet, she hadn't interrogated her too much on the specifics. As far as she knew it had been a natural birth, pretty low birthweight which at the same time had made the labor not that difficult. And now the baby was being monitored for getting enough oxygen and jaundice. But everything seemed to be under control, even if they were probably going to stick by the hospital for a few weeks. She also hadn't dared to touch the Finn subject much, other than hearing that he was being helpful.
"He was, yeah. He said it was the most mind blowing thing he'd ever experienced," Logan shared, knowing that was a lot coming from someone like Finn.
"Good, I think it's good he got that experience," Rory agreed. They'd talked about the fact that Rory had kicked out Jess from the delivery room, and how she'd regretted it later on. She'd told Logan how she wanted him there, but couldn't really promise that her hormones wouldn't just go kicking him out just the same.
"I can't wait..," Logan said, and kissed the top of her bump.
"For labor?" Rory said, looking a little panicky, not quite agreeing with that train of thought.
"To meet her...," Logan said thoughtfully, continuing to caress her stomach, hoping to feel a kick.
That calmed Rory a little.
"You know, we do have that hatful of names in my bag somewhere. Mom shoved it all into a zip-lock," Rory said, gesturing towards her suitcase in the cupboard, not even thinking about getting up. They'd asked people to give them their name suggestions during the wedding reception.
Logan was up within seconds quite intentionally enjoying his nakedness, and Rory appreciated the sight, and went to look for the bag in question.
"I kind of would like it if the name was one-syllable, at least the nickname that is, like Em is," Rory mentioned casually. They had the middle name almost decided - Josephine after Honor's middle name.
"Let's see…," Logan began, opening up the zip-lock bag. The bag itself was sizable, filled with litter paper clippings Lorelai had cut up from some misprinted invites.
"This one must be my mom's or someone from her side of the family I bet," Logan began, reading out a couple in the same handwriting. "Mira and Dora," he said, explaining that he recalled having great aunts by those names.
"And then there's Quinn," Rory said, squinting her nose, tossing another name suggestion aside.
"Rose?" Logan read out.
"That one is probably Luke's, after his mom," she said. "I don't hate it, but not a huge fan. I just get Titanic flashbacks from Rose, besides - Rosie is a little too similar to it maybe," she added, referring to Colin's daughter.
Logan agreed, nodding along, leaning now his back against the headboard, a bedsheet loosely draped over his legs, while Rory stayed on her side where she was most comfortable.
"Ella?" Logan picked out another card.
"Cinderella..," Rory mocked, not liking it much.
"Mae?" Rory read out another.
"That's okay..," Logan said, and Rory placed the name into the good pile. The name discussion had been going on for months now, and they just didn't seem to get any closer.
"Rae is also a little similar," Rory pointed out, form her head.
"It's cute, it's a little like Rory, got some attitude to it," Logan said. "Maybe as a nickname - short for Rachel? Raleigh?" he discussed.
"Unsure if it'll go well with the last names though," Rory pondered.
"It's not that bad," Logan commented, not ruling it out.
"Hope?" Logan read out.
"Grandma's sister's name," she replied. Hope hadn't been able to make it to the wedding, her health not being what it used to be. But her daughter had been there to congratulate them. "Not bad, though wouldn't it be odd to have Emily and Hope in a pair just like in their family?" Rory discussed.
"Maybe..," Logan replied.
"Blue?" Rory read out, pondering, " I wonder who wrote this?"
Logan shrugged. "But if she has blue eyes like you, it'd be kind of cute. Definitely a celebrity baby name," Logan chuckled.
"You know you can't really tell for a while what color eyes they have. They mostly just have grayish eyes when they're born and then it changes," Rory explained.
"I wonder how much different she'll be," Logan said, thinking this compared to Em. Em looked a lot like Rory, and he did wonder how much of a role the father played her. He could barely see Jess in Rory but then again he didn't know his features anywhere as well as he knew his own. He kind of wanted to look at the girl and see something of him. This was a whole new set of needs he was feeling - things he wanted out of life.
"Yeah," Rory sighed. "I just… I just want the hard part over with. Sometimes I just wish they'd knock me out of it and then I'd wake up to a perfectly healthy baby. Just the whole thing - the labor - it's not just hard on the body, but mentally too. All that worry, her health, my health. Snap decisions we're demanded to make," she said, illustrating it by snapping her fingers.
"I guess I never really thought of it like that," Logan commented, suddenly becoming more serious as well.
"Yeah, you'd think I knew a thing or two about this, or I was going into this with more information and experience and this should somehow make me all calm about it. But I'm not. I just sometimes feel like I don't want to think about any of that part," Rory sighed, in the back of her head thinking that this was probably also the reason she didn't feel like going into that discussion group at the maternity center where she went for yoga.
Logan took in her words, but didn't really know what to say. He was just realizing he didn't know the half of what this process involved - but while Rory didn't want to discuss it, preferring to hide and think about getting it over with, he just wanted to get some of that control. The only way he knew was through knowledge. Knowing there were groups like this for mothers, did make him wonder what the father's thought and whether this helplessness was something he was all alone.
"But I don't want to talk about this, especially not now when I have a gorgeous naked husband in bed with me. In an empty house. Children were nowhere around. And this gorgeous bed that doesn't break easily - as we proved yesterday," Rory said, seductively, tossing aside the sheet that had been covering Logan and climbing to straddle him, aiming to do some bad things to him to avoid thinking about the former. Anything to distract herself from worrying too much - and right now it was entirely reasonable too.
