AN: Today's chapter is from season 7 when Logan visited Stars Hollow, but not quite the scene most might expect (I presume). But since I have a big party to throw today, I don't have time to add the part of this chapter that would mirror (kind of) some of this in the present right now, I'll leave that until tomorrow. I'll just leave you thinking about what kind of interaction Logan might encounter in the next chapter that hold some similarity :)


Chapter 220

April 21st, 2007

"Oh and this is Miss Patty's dance school," Rory continued, showing Logan around Stars Hollow for the first time.

God, she couldn't believe it was the first time - well technically. Even to her there was something so wrong about that. She truly felt like she knew him so much better than that, and she certainly had immersed him in her stories regardless of his whereabouts. He'd been here before, she'd just never shown him around like this - there had been the time he'd looked up her mother without her knowing about it and that one time he and the guys had dropped her off. But this was different. This was immersing him in her history head first.

"Any injuries incurred here?" Logan asked, teasingly, considering she'd just told him in detail about her first attempts at learning how to cycle.

"Only psychological ones," Rory admitted, thinking way more broadly than just those related to dance practice.

"That's cute." Those are some pretty avant-garde costumes there…," he noted the dancers's outfits.

"They are. They're bulbs. It's for the dance of the daffodils. There are three acts, you see. In the first one, the bulbs dance, then they grow stalks and then they bloom into daffodils by the third," Rory explained, as she led him across the street.

"Oh, that's cute," Logan commented.

Also for first time, Rory felt like Logan was humble. Sure, a little critical as well, skeptical… having a healthy amount of humor in his tone, but it was like for the first time he actually had time to really hear all of these stories without having anywhere else to be. While he had always been attentive and heard all her stories, finding them utterly entertaining, it was like he was now completely present, nothing else ticking in the back of his mind.

"Mh-hmm," Rory agreed.

"And this hale-bale maze - this all Taylor's idea?" Logan again demonstrated how much he'd been listening in the past few weeks. It was compensating in a way, and Rory could tell - he had never had so much unused mental capacity before and he was focusing very much on her, trying to undo a lot of regrets.

"Yep," Rory replied.

"This is the same Taylor who is town selectman and owns two businesses," Logan recalled, surprising Rory he actually remembered these details.

"Yeah, he's basically the Mayor of Stars Hollow and Don Corleone all wrapped up into one," Rory explained, cleverly.

"That's fascinating," Logan replied, observing the town like a world wonder.

"That's fascinating?" Rory asked, not quite believing how much he was enjoying this.

"I find Stars Hollow fascinating…," Logan replied, genuinely.

"You're out of your gourd," Rory noted, teasingly.

"No, I'm very much in my gourd," Logan replied. "This is cool. It's like colonial Williamsburg with fewer knickers and Tricorn hats," he added, slightly adjusting the hold he had on Rory's hand.

"And more hay?" Rory finished her thought, looking at the next building to come. She'd really waited a long time to bring him there. "This… is Luke's diner," Rory exhaled, gesturing towards it, proudly. It had been a central point in so many stories she'd told him over the years. God, she couldn't believe it had been years.

"Ah..," Logan noted. "When you were younger, were you in the dance of the daffodils?" Logan asked, raising his eyebrow.

"Maybe," Rory replied, carefully.

"You were, weren't you?" Logan asked.

"Well… therein lies the psychological injury," Rory replied, not wanting to bring up Dean. Not today, definitely not today. Because today was a good day. They took the few steps up towards the diner's door.

"What happened?" Logan asked with concern in his tone.

"I didn't bloom. My headpiece malfunctioned," Rory complained, making a sad face.

"Poor little scab nose," Logan teased, finding the misfortune kind of adorable.

"Yeah," Rory agreed.

They walked through the door and Rory looked around for a good table.

"Wow… the famous Luke's," Logan commented.

They were greeted by Zach which continued onwards to a quick round of reintroductions and a recap on the well-being of Lane and Zach's twins.

"So, is this your table?" Logan said, kind of feeling like perhaps he was trying too hard. He'd tried to remember all of the things Rory had ever told him about this place and bring many of them up to show her how serious he was, still feeling like he was making up for some things.

"Oh, I guess they're all kind of mine," Rory commented. "They're each my own little kitchen table," she added, digging through her bag in search for her phone.

She checked her phone, nervously.

"No call?" Logan asked as they sat down.

"No call," Rory replied, disappointedly.

"Don't worry," he soothed her.

"Rory, hey!" Luke approached, bringing over a couple of menus.

"Hey," she replied.

"Hey, Logan," Luke added.

"How's it going, man," Logan said, shaking his hand.

"Good, good," Luke replied. "So what brings you to this neck of the woods?" he asked, looking kind of surprised to see him. Logan wasn't sure how he felt about that. Should he have asked to come sooner?

"Ah.. the spring fling. And it's my neck… of the woods, I mean. I wanted to show Logan around," Rory explained.

"Well, it's good to see you," Luke said, while Logan just observed the genuineness of their interaction, feeling a little envious even of the two. His father was never that happy to see him.

"Yeah, you too," Rory replied.

"You know April's here for the festival, too. She's hanging out with her swim buddies, but I know she'd love to see you," Luke said.

"Oh, great," Rory replied, and took off her jacket.

They began to peruse their menus but Rory really only had the call from the Providence Journal Bulletin in mind.

"She'll call you. Now, put it away," Logan assured her, as she'd yet again checked it and sighed disappointedly.

"But..," Rory began to object.

"Put it away," he demanded, kindly.

"You know, it's so not a big deal," Rory said, trying to convince herself.

"What isn't?" Logan asked, not quite following.

"Not getting this job. I mean it's not even my first choice. What I really want is the Reston fellowship. And not getting this job is just so not a big deal," she rambled, clearly trying to protect herself from the potential dissapointment.

"Okay," Logan replied, finding her amusing.

"Yeah, I mean…. Providence? It's no Manhattan," Rory replied, trying to belittle it.

"That's true because it's Providence," Logan teased.

"Right," Rory reflected.

Their ordering was interrupted briefly by Luke's objections towards Taylor's plan to block Luke's diner off by hay bales, which provided no doubt a good show of the town to Logan.

Later that night as they were done walking around town and had gone shopping, Logan getting the idea to make them some paella, Logan had sensed some skepticism from Lorelai as she listened to him talk about his plans at dinner. He'd tried to make himself understood, but it seemed Lorelai just didn't get him - and he got that too. Lorelai had always had to work extremely hard to get where she was, Logan's game was more about ideas and connections, which he had a mountain of. It wasn't that he didn't work hard, he just worked differentl - less stubbornly too.

They'd celebrated Rory getting a job offer for the Providence Journal Bulletin after she'd gotten the call along with wine and paella, everyone at the table being truly proud and joyous.

"It's a good job," Rory reflected, hardly having stopped talking about the job offer through dinner. But either way the dinner had resulted in the three eating way too much and drinking a little too much too, which had dragged them out to walk a little, feeling like otherwise they'd just fall too soon into their food coma. But naturally, there was still a little more room in the Gilmore's stomachs so the destiantion of their walk was pie.

"It is," Lorelai agreed.

"Absolutely," Logan reflected.

"It's a really good job. I can't really imagine living in Providence, Rhode Island," Rory commented. "I mean I don't think there's a lot going on there," she added.

"Well there's Brown and RISD. It's a pretty cool college town," Logan added, preferring not to mention why he knew that.

"Yeah, which would be great if I hadn't just spent the last four years in college in a college town. It's a great paper, though. I guess that's the part to focus on," Rory discussed, as they made their way through the hay bale filled streets.

"It's an excellent paper," Logan replied, trying to be as supportive as he could. The problem was however, that for once he was the one who didn't have a plan - where he was going to be, what he was going to be doing. And he couldn't help thinking about whether he would genuinely have a lot to do in Providence. But she didn't want her worrying about that, even if it did linger in his mind. It felt like it was time for him to sacrifice, if it came to it.

"But it's kind of small," Rory pondered. Logan wasn't sure whether her reasons to doubt so much were linked to him or not. But he did remember what she'd said earlier about the fellowship. He didn't want to hold her back, but he had always been the 'aim high' kind of guy too, having never had any reason not to.

"Well you could be the big fish in the small pond," Lorelai said. Logan really wasn't sure which way Rory's mother was leaning - as while the comments sounded supportive, in his case and as much as he knew Rory - the content of this particular comment would've rather leaned both of them against it. Neither was particularly fond of being a big fish in a small pond.

"Yeah, which means I would actually get to write some articles, which would be great. But I don't know. Is it better to be a small fish in a pond where I'm gonna learn more and have career-advancement opportunities?" Rory continued to discuss.

"You don't have to decide until Monday, and between now and then, you can eat a lot of pie," Lorelaid added, clearly being a little too wine-infused in this moment for some heavy duty pro-con listing.

"Yes, if we ever make it to Weston's," Rory complained dramatically.

"Seriously," Lorelai added.

"Yeah, where is this Weston's of yours?" Logan threw the question in the air.

"Normally, it's not far away. But all this hay is blocking all the parking spots It's too much hay," Rory whined.

"Yeah, well… we're burning off a lot of calories, so thank goodness you ordered an extra pie," Lorelai added.

"Two extra pies, actually," Rory said.

"Nice!" Lorelai cheered, causing Logan to chuckle quietly.

"To be quite honest, this is one of the best jobs I could imagine getting," Rory continued, not being ready to let it go yet. And by the look of her - not any time soon.

Logan nodded in agreement.

"That's really great," Lorelai said, excited for her daughter, and Rory could just already sense in her tone that she just wanted her to grab it, she could tell. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush - she recalled her mother's words, even if they'd been spoken once when they were trying to speak in cliches.

"I know, but it's just one of… you know? It's not THE best. It's just…," Rory continued and sighed deeply. "I don't know. I mean, if I take this job, I'm giving up the chance at the Reston fellowship," Rory came out with the real reason she was hesitating.

"Which you really-really want," Logan agreed, having understood as much.

"I'd be giving up The New York Times, you know? But then, is it idiotic to give up a great job for this chance at another job? Not even a job... The fellowship's only a six-week paid internship," Rory argues.

Logan wasn't going to point out that technically another option would be to accept the job but keep hoping for the fellowship, because he knew how much reputation for being reliable counted for in this business. And Rory had told them earlier how the Providence Journal Bulletin had been in a rush to get someone over there, already aiming to have her start off remotely ASAP. Doing that to them, wouldn't have been fair, and that poor reputation would've followed her around at least a couple of years if she went that way. Besides, he figured with all the resumes she'd sent out, she was bound to get some other pretty decent offers sooner or later anyways. This was just one.

"Yeah, but if the fellowship is your dream, I don't know, I guess people should go for their dreams," Logan discussed.

"Yes, honey. I want all of your dreams to come true," Lorelai felt she needed to pitch in.

"You got to go for it sometimes. Screw the 401k," Logan encouraged with a shrug.

"Oh, well..," Lorelai began and Logan just knew it this was potentially trouble. "Not everyone can live in that dream world," Lorelai added.

Auch - Logan felt the burn.

"It's not a dream world, necessarily," Logan pointed out, deciding to debate her.

"Yes it is, if you're talking about following your whims and neglecting financial security," Lorelai pointed out.

"I'm not saying to neglect financial security," Logan said, controlling his tone carefully.

"Okay," Lorelai agreed, but he could tell she wasn't convinced.

"Not at all. When you're 22, I don't think a 401k needs to be your top priority. That's all I'm saying," Logan specified.

"Right, well, all I'm saying is… food costs money and rent costs money and a salary gives you money, so that can be a good thing," Lorelai explained. Logan was definitely feeling a comment towards his expense again, the paella having been a rather fancy kind with jumbo shrimp, mussels and calamari and the selection of wines he's served along with that dish earlier. Logan made a mental note to tone down on the spending in front of her, not wanting these things to be a constant thing between them. The truth was he as far from poor, with his earnings from the past year or so, and he hadn't even thought about it when he'd decided for that particular dish, if anything he'd wanted to show off his cooking skills as a well-appreciated skill in the Gilmore household, hoping to win Lorelai over.

"I agree. I'm aware of the reality of money," Logan assured.

"Okay," Lorelai replied, huffing slightly.

"All right you guys - figure out my future! I'm gonna go pick up these pies," Rory said, leaving them outside of Weston's.

"Okay," Lorelai chimed again.

"I just got my first credit-card statement," Logan said, realizing how that must've sounded like boasting a little.

"You just got your first credit-card statement?!" Lorelai reflected, with a hint of judgment. But Logan could tell that despite her tone, she got it - at least in part, having had that jolt to her system once too after moving out from under her parent's roof.

"Earning money is great. It's just not everything," Logan added.

"No, I agree," Lorelai said.

"And I think in this particular situation, Rory should take the gamble," Logan admitted what he'd secretly been thinking. It wasn't that he didn't want to move to Providence - well he didn't, but he would've been willing to do it. But it was more about believing she was meant to do greater things - in big, exciting cities. If not New York, then Boston, L.A, San Francisco, Seattle, Chicago, San Diego, Baltimore… all big cities with great papers.

"The gamble?" Lorelai frowned. "Rory's not a gambler, you know?" Lorelai added.

Logan would've liked to argue. There was a lot Rory did that Lorelai didn't know about. There was the partying she occasionally did very willingly, there was definitely a lot of risks she by now took in bed too - the phone sex and the fairly recent exploration into some public fooling around coming to mind. But Lorelai clearly didn't know how Rory also liked to take risks in her writing, trying out different topics and styles or in her studies - by testing fresh angles or pushing the professor's tolerance limits towards alternative interpretations. She gambled alright, but Logan knew he wasn't earning any brownie points by bringing that out.

"I know that," Logan said, biting his tongue, simply for the sake of agreeing. And he did understand where he got that. Rory liked to weigh her options, and he did agree with that observation. He just knew it didn't define her.

"You're a gambler, but that's not her," Lorelai said just as Rory walked out. Logan was genuinely a little offended by that statement though, it was very close to her saying he was not like her, like they weren't compatible. And that hurt.

Sometime in the middle of night Logan woke, realizing Rory was up making her pro and con list. He got dressed, and got teased for that, and went out into the kitchen to get a glass of water, his head slightly throbbing from the wine earlier - too many sulfites possibly. He was relieved to be dressed, as Lorelai walked into the kitchen.

After some awkward smalltalk, he finally decided to say it, feeling like their earlier conversation wasn't quite finished. He needed to defend himself.

"I want you to know I'm not a gambler," Logan said, unsure how much of this Rory was overhearing. But he didn't care, he didn't want to keep any secrets from her.

"Okay," Lorelai responded.

"Look, I know that Rory tells you stuff, and you know all these things about me, like I know you know I went to Vegas and all that. And I just want you to know that's not who I am. I don't want you to be worried," Logan said.

"Well.. I am worried," she confessed. "I'm a mom. That's what we do," she added.

"Okay… well. What exactly are you worried about?" Logan asked, deciding to be upfront about it. Clearly reading this woman wasn't something he'd mastered quite yet.

"Okay..," she began. "I'm worried that you're not worried enough. You take things lightly. This whole 'you got to surf the waves' attitude. 'Cowabunga, dud.' I mean, you just lost millions of dollars," Lorelai touched on the sore subject, though putting it pretty colorfully.

"I know," Logan reflected. "I know I did, believe me. And I don't feel 'Cowabunga, dude' inside," he added. "Believe me, I know I made a big mistake," he added.

"You do?" Lorelai asked, sounding all surprised. Maybe that was a good thing?

"Yeah. but I don't want to act like that in front of you. I mean, for one thing, the whole self-flagellation thing - it's kind of embarrassing, and I just… I want you to think well of me," Logan confessed.

"All right, well," Lorelai hesitated, being caught a little off guard. "It's good for me to know. It's good for me to know that you know you made a mistake," she added.

"I made a mistake. I messed up. I really messed up," Logan assured.

"Okay," she reflected. "I think 401k's are important. I think responsibility and paying your bills and dealing with the reality is important," she added.

"Ah well, I'm beginning to learn about reality. I grew up with a lot of privilege," Logan explained.

"Right, you had that whole silver-spoon-in-the-mouth thing, and that's not how I raised Rory," Lorelai said, this being no news to either of them.

"I know that," Logan said, knowing also that Lorelai had very much grown up with a silver-spoon in her mouth as well.

"This was not a silver-spoon household. This was spork city all the way," Lorelai confirmed.

"I get that, and I respect that because I just spat out a whole place setting of sterling silver royal Danish. I left my dad's company, I left that world because I have my own values," Logan said.

"I understand that," Lorelai said.

"I thought you would because that's what you did. You left the world of privilege to do things your way," Logan felt he just needed to say that.

"I guess I never thought of it that way," Lorelai admitted, and that truly came as news to Logan that she hadn't seen the similarity yet. He had to admit, it made him feel very good about himself for a second there.

"And you did it when you were younger and had a baby to take care of. It was really impressive," Logan added, putting on his best charm along with it. A compliment never hurt.

"I don't need you to be impressed by me, I just need you to know it wasn't easy," Lorelai said, with some rebellion in her tone.

"I know that," Logan assured.

"I didn't get anything like 'boom', you know?" I worked hard for everything I got," Lorelai stated.

"I want to work. I'm ready for work. And I want to work hard," Logan added eagerly. He really did crave the work already. He didn't know how to be like this, just sitting with his hands on his lap even if he wasn't really one for manual labor.

"All right then," Lorelai chimed.

"All right then," Logan reflected, smiling a little.