AN: Loved your comments on these last chapters - they gave me a lot of ideas. Thanks!


Chapter 222

August 31st, 2022

Rory had just been out of bed for the second time that night, the baby deciding to keep her up by kicking her bladder for several nights in a row already. This was getting old, fast.

She climbed back under the covers and felt Logan turn his side to face her, sleepily, and his hand moved to wrap around her bump. It was becoming difficult to reach much else when they faced each-other. But still, the warmth of his hand felt comforting.

Rory yawned, and tried to close her eyes again, but going back to sleep after already being upright was not something she had yet mastered. She recalled how she'd struggled with night time feedings just for this reason with Em. This time however Logan had woken, despite still looking pretty sleepy, knowing her struggle, he tried to stroke her back to sleep, making her feel loved. Sometimes it worked, but he could feel right there under his palm the very strenuous kicking that was going on inside her belly.

"It's like she wants to kick her way out of there," he exclaimed, his voice still a little hoarse, but kept his voice down. He doubted Rory was able to sleep through it either.

"She's certainly trying..," Rory mumbled, keeping her eyes closed but being far from actually sleeping. "Also I had a nightmare that we got the nanny from hell," Rory added, as if it was nothing. Five minutes ago, her heart had been thumping like she'd just watched a horror movie though.

"Wow," Logan chuckled in a low tone. "How do we vet them for that?" he asked.

"Sprinkle them with Holy water?" Rory said, finally opening her eyes. The sun had already begun to rise, so it wasn't completely dark in the room, which in turn would make falling asleep even more challenging.

"Shoot, I think we're all out," Logan commented laughingly. They were indeed interviewing nannies that day, hence the concern was not completely unbased, but he had a little more trust in nanny services in general, having been raised by nannies himself.

Silence lingered for a bit, Rory tracing Logan's tattoos like she often did, deep in thought.

"I think… well... I'd have to look at her first, but I think it would be right if we included something of my mom in the her name. I just feel like mom's feeling like I hate her or want to distance myself, and I can see it getting worse so easily…, but that's not what I want to happen. That's not what I want to do. I just feel like I want to be my own person, you know, your person, the kid's person," she added, having thought about this for a few days already.

"You are my person," Logan replied, and kissed her forehead. "But I thought you didn't want there to be another Lorelai," he recalled her words from before.

"Yeah, but there's Victoria. Maybe either Victoria Jospehine or Josephine Victoria or Vicky or Tori or something like that... I just feel like if we picked anyone else over her, she'd be crushed. Emily only went over well because grandma died so recently back then," Rory explained. She did owe her mom a lot, feeling like she needed to somehow show her that she still loved her, now knowing how else to show it without turning her entire life around.

"Well I'm not a big fan of the name as something to call her on a daily basis, but as a middle name, I'd be okay with it. Josephine can transform well into Josie, Sophie, Jo…," Logan said, knowing that technically Sophie held some meaning to the two of them as well from their first argument. But he didn't want a reference that went back to those times, where they didn't communicate like they did now. He wanted it to be independent of their college times. The name Victoria had a bit too much of a UK feel to him, and Victoria Beckham was just too prominently known as well. But he genuinely had no objections since Josephine was what he really wanted anyways. It'd be a compromise.

"I kind of like Josie and Sophie, though knowing me I'd probably just call her Jo or Fi or something. But formally Josephine Victoria would be nice, wouldn't it? Small tribute to her," Rory added, wanting his confirmation.

"If that's what you want," Logan said.

"If you don't it's okay, we can keep looking," Rory offered.

"No it's not that. I just don't want you doing it just for her. I want it to be something you want, a name you like, not something you do because you want to avoid her getting upset. I think she gets upset over these things far too easily, and frankly I'm glad you're becoming more independent from her opinions. You heard what Birdie said too," he added, having had a similar discussion just a couple of weeks ago at therapy. The general agreement was that Lorelai was just afraid of losing Rory, but that was not a valid concern since she wasn't actually going anywhere, she was just going on with her life that loved her but didn't depend on her.

"Yeah, but then she goes and says how I transform into this completely different person around you. Pretty much blames you for how we are these days... That's so infuriating..," Rory added, confessing essentially that she'd overheard Logan and Lorelai talking the other day.

"I don't really have anything to compare with, but I guess the question is whether that's a good thing or not. Though I'd like to think that when you are with me - you have more freedom to be the way you want to be - work - don't work, focus primarily on the kids - don't, be the corporate wife or be the homebody… I'm not, at least not knowingly, forcing you to do any of these things. Sure our life involves living a little differently than you did a year ago, but is it worse? I guess I'd just like to think that my love for you is not conditional on whether you do only things that I approve of or would choose to do myself if I was in your shoes. For example if you told me to stay out of that delivery room, I would - just because you asked, because it was the way you felt more comfortable," Logan lectured, realizing he'd accidentally touched upon a dangerous topic. This was how he had grown too in the past months, being able to speak with almost no filter around her.

"Yeah, I guess with her it's this one way route - work, be independent, prove myself, 'make it' - whatever that means. I know she'll love me, but she just isn't great at showing it in case she disagrees," Rory replied but quickly asked instead, "You'd really be okay if I just stayed away from all of your corporate dinners and things?" not quite believing he'd say that, the casual example drawing most of her attention.

"If you told me you hate them… Sure," Logan added. "Would I love going on my own? Would I love having to sit through boring topics without anyone to swap secret messages with? No. Would I miss seeing you all dressed up? Of course! But if I knew you were miserable - there wouldn't be any of those things either. So yeah, if I knew you hated it, then - yes, I would just have to be fine with it," Logan assured.

"I wouldn't do that, you know. I might go less or something… but I wouldn't not go. Because no matter how much freedom you say you give me, it is my role as a wife to be by your side. To support you. It is my role to disperse rumors that we're split up because I don't show myself enough and also to make sure no other tall-legged….ah… you know what I mean..," she added, not wanting to get too into those scenarios.

"Does what? Tangle me in their web?" Logan shot back, loving the wordplay.

"I don't doubt you, and I really don't want to compare you to Mitchum. But I just know that these things happen. I do worry that if you're away a lot and I am at home with the kids, months on end. I know that there's always a chance that we might drift apart… and then before we know it it's the 12th event you are going to by yourself and then there's that Italian supermodel you see for the 5th time, and then you find something to talk about and one thing leads to another…," Rory blabbered.

"I promise that when we're at the 12th time I'll just stay home, okay? I'll take you on a date instead," Logan assured, not even wanting to think about a scenario like that. "I'll just want to be at home, watching TV with you. I'll call in sick if I have to. Just you and me and Em and Josie…," he added, stroking her bump again. The name just came out and it kind of fit.

He even got a few kicks in response a couple of seconds later.

He knew this scenario was just an hypothetical one and he also knew how Rory's mind could go down the rabbit hole if they let it. She had made great progress already with her insecurities - talking about all of these things was a big step for the better.

"Hey, Josie..," Rory chimed, testing the name out, stroking her bump. It was not as short as she'd wanted originally, but it rolled off her tongue easily enough.

Rory rolled up her top, having yesterday seen her actually move visibly. She'd been hoping to show Logan, but no such luck right then.

"Hey, what do you think… I was thinking about getting a tattoo when she's born," Logan confessed, having been browsing around instagram for child related tattoo ideas for a few weeks already. "Right here," he gestured at his collar bone. He worried she might see the craving for one as a need for release, but for the first time it was not why he wanted to do it. He just wanted her permanently on his body. He wanted something that symbolized his love permanently in his skin.

"Like her name or something?" she asked.

"Maybe, or maybe something more symbolic," Logan said, actually having thought about somehow getting his wife marked on him as well. Maybe even something to symbolize the baby they'd lost, accepting it?

"But you don't want it on the collar bone. As far as I've heard they can take a few weeks to heal. You're going to need your shoulder those first few weeks," Rory said. "You know - burping and shushing," she added, recalling Jess walking back and forth the living room for hours with Em.

"Right... I'll think of another place then," Logan replied, feeling silly for not having thought of that.

"I think I'm going to go do something with my hair… I won't have much time to deal with it once she's here. I just want something simple, that looks nice even if I just get out of bed…," Rory said a few moment later.

Logan nodded, not really having a lot of requests in that department.

"Anything you wouldn't want to see on me?" Rory asked, craving his approval nonetheless.

"Unless you plan on going blonde or some crazy color…," he joked, not quite picturing her like that anyways.

"Would short hair be horrible?" she asked.

"Maybe not shorter than mine…," Logan shrugged. He was pretty sure she'd look good even then.

"Okay..," she exhaled.

"So what's your plan for today?" Logan asked, falling into their casual morning topics, putting anything heavier on the side.

This was what married life was - life with a pregnant woman. It was about keeping her company as she rested - as much as she could, even if she couldn't fall back asleep. It would be about getting up in a few minutes to make her breakfast and coffee. It would mean knocking on Em's door to wake her while she took a shower. He at least believed he was doing a pretty good job at it.


AN: Not a lot happened today, I know. But I felt like I needed to show some simple day-to-day moment too. At least there were some (beginnings of) decisions made.

General ramblings on this story (if you feel like you want to shoot ideas with me) - DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS / discussion on what might happen:

I want some 'drama' in this but nothing too abrupt... just haven't been feeling like writing it right now.

I know I've abandoned Jess' storyline a bit (there's still a big secret that he doesn't know about and I am unsure whether I even want to let that slip), there's still a babyshower to come and Rory's book to cover (maybe she'll get offered some big chance of a book tour which she'll struggle to decide on?). Also are you guys interested to read about the nanny search or should I just skip it? I'm not too sure if Rory is feeling up to a lot of intimacy these days anymore - so kind of stuck on the smut front too (I have one idea, but if you have any more - shoot). I am not really sure what to do with the NY place - I mean they'll get one for sure, but I keep feeling like there are more and more reasons that speak for moving there completely (next year Em would go to primary school anyways for example) but I kind of love their house in Hartford too. Jess is far either way, in another state, so the commutes to him are long either way.

I am thinking ending the story with the birth of the baby (+ epilogues with glimpses into the future) right now... this has been so long already. Not ruling out sequals if I feel like it. But I feel a little stuck right now what do do with them - I feel like I can't just jump over these last 1.5 months either because it'd be to inconsistent and I don't want the baby to be too premature either.

Your ideas are welcome!