Chapter 2:

The Saiyan Prick

The next morning, Bulma awoke to a silent house. She threw off her crumpled outfit and pulled on a small cover-up to replace her day-old clothes, then she proceeded out her bedroom door. The hush of the house confused her, usually there was somebody bustling around at...she glanced at her watch...ten o'clock. The woman padded quickly down the hall, glancing every which way for some sign of life in the quiet complex. As she descended the staircase she saw the answering machine blinking. Bulma walked over to the Capsule Corporation device and pressed the PLAY button.

"Bleep! Bleep! You have...one message...play it now?" the programmed voice asked.

"Duh! That's why I'm pushing the damned button!" Bulma grumbled as she pushed the play button once more, still angry at what had transpired the night before.

"Please enter five digit security clearance code after the beep..." the machine instructed. "Beep!"

"Fine you piece of shit! Let's see...8-3-5-3-2...There! Happy?!" Bulma sighed as she finished the code. "Dad the paranoid has once again successfully pissed me off..."

"Thank you...Bulma Briefs. Your message will now be played...Bleep! Hi Bulma, dear! It's your mother. Your father and I felt so horrible last night, you know - - about what happened, that we forgot to tell you about the emergency conference he was called to this week. It's with the EuroIndustries CEO, you remember him don't you, sweetest? The tall young man who offered to take you to dinner the last time he was in the area? Anyway, his company is the main manufacturer of the parts for our hover vehicles, and they had a problem with the last shipment they delivered, it never came. So once again your father had to leave immediately to sort it all out, but this time he invited me! Can you believe it, darling?! I'm going to Europe! We had to leave early this morning for the airport, and we're there right now. Our plane leaves at 9:35 a.m., and we should arrive at about 5:20, our time, this evening. There's TV dinners in the freezer for you and pre-prepared food for our handsome little houseguest in the largest freezing chamber, all you have to do is thaw and cook them for the time and temp on their labels. We won't be back until Thursday, so try to stay out of trouble 'til then! Tee-hee! All right angel, I love you! Sayonara! Bleep! Bleep! End of message." the machine's voice proclaimed.

Bulma groaned at her mother's reference to Vegeta as a "handsome little houseguest." 'Sure he's not that bad looking, and he is short...but how dare my mother say that! It's just...disturbing...' she thought. 'And to add even more to this wonderful day, she actually expects me to try and endure ninety-six hell-bound hours with the prince of asses! Unbelievable! Can my day get any more horrid?!' She trudged gloomily into the sunny kitchen, portraying the opposite of her mood. 'I guess I should try to make the most of it. Parents gone, Vegeta training, Yamcha and I through...it could be worse! Some therapeutic shopping and flirting will do me good.' she thought as she grabbed a pop tart from their overly large pantry.

Almost instantly after she placed the pastry in the toaster oven, the tile floor in the kitchen - - and everywhere else in the house - - shook with the force of a tremendous explosion. Her overly kind heart forced her to dash to the wide kitchen window across from the sink to investigate. But her hot temper and scientific brain fumed as she saw the damage their "guest" had just recently wrought on his training materials. Her eyes narrowed as she watched the Saiyan "Prince" stalk out of the now-damaged Gravity Chamber she'd constructed to keep him out of her life. His tall hair waved gently as he strut purposefully towards the house. She groaned as she saw the smoke wafting from the giant hole on the roof of the chamber and the numerous tiny pieces scattered over the lawn, sometimes she wondered why she put up with him. This repair job alone would take a while, and his temper wasn't going to help her.

"WOMAN! THAT SHITTY CONTRAPTION OF YOURS BROKE AGAIN! CAN'T YOU DO ANY DAMN THING RIGHT?!" he bellowed into the building, standing a few feet from the door.

She growled in annoyance, for royalty, he certainly wasn't very polite about asking her to fix the machine...and this time was no exception.

"FINE VEGETA! I'LL FIX YOUR TOY...LATER!" she screeched back.

"NO WOMAN! NOW! I AM THE PR--"

"YOU ARE THE PRINCE OF TAILED BASTARDS, BAKA! THIS IS MY HOUSE, AND YOU HAVE NO SAY IN WHAT I DO AND WHEN I DO IT! GOT THAT?!" she interrupted loudly.

"YOU'RE THE BAKA, WENCH! NOW FIX MY GOD DAMNED MACHINE!" Vegeta growled thunderously.

"AT...MY...LEISURE!!! I AM NOT YOUR SLAVE!" she shrieked.

"We'll see about that soon enough...FIX IT WOMAN!" he hollered.

"WHAT ARE YOU GRUMBLING ABOUT NOW, VE-GE-TA?!" she asked in a yell.

"I WANT YOU TO REPAIR MY MACHINE!"

"No, before that...I heard you mutter something, but I couldn't make out what it was." she told him, coming out of the house to face him.

"I don't have to tell you. There is no need for me to justify myself." he replied hotly, crossing his arms and scowling at her.

"Who's asking you to justify yourself? I was just wondering what you said so quietly." she answered.

"Humph. There's no way I'll tell you...bitch." he sneered nastily.

"...WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!" she began to yell again.

"Woman, just shut up! Your high voice is hurting my ears!" Vegeta groaned.

"AND YOUR UGLY MUG IS MAKING ME GO BLIND!" she retorted.

"At least it isn't as unattractive as yours." he replied with a smirk, his eyes slowly traveling up and down her.

"What the hell are you smirking at yaro?!"

"I just find that the way the sun is hitting you provides a good view of your hideous body." he grunted, grinning evilly.

"Wha-" Bulma looked down, sure enough, the sheer fabric of her cover-up was almost invisible in the sunlight - - she silently thanked Kami above that she had left on her undergarments as she hurried, red-faced, into the building.

Vegeta chuckled. It wasn't everyday that he had a half-naked woman screaming at him, though he would have rather skipped the last part - - he was unsure of how long his Saiyan hearing was going to hold out against the woman's shrill voice.

"Vegeta? I'll get around to fixing your machine sometime today, I promise you." Bulma told Vegeta from the open kitchen window. "I'm sorry for losing my temper, it's just really stressful for me right now. I would greatly appreciate it if you were to quit luring me into arguments for the time being. Please?"

"Fine." he grunted in reply, only agreeing half-heartedly.

"Thanks!" and even through the window screen, he could make out her happy expression.

After making her request of Vegeta, Bulma turned back towards the toaster. It was smoking.

"OH SHIT!" Bulma exclaimed, unplugging the machine and tossing it into the sink. She turned on the water and let it run over the toaster. Knowing about water conducting electricity, Bulma stood back on the far side of the kitchen as the toaster shorted out and went dead. "Phew!" Bulma breathed a sigh of relief and walked over to turn off the pulsing liquid. "Today just isn't my day."

After programming the maid-bots to clean up the scorch marks on the countertop, Bulma retired to the living room to watch mindnumbing midday TV programs.

"I really should take my shower and go outside for some fresh air. Then go shopping, and th- dammit! I just remembered that my hover car is in the shop and dad forbid me to use his...kuso! Maybe I could take the bus? No, that's just asking for trouble. Ugh! Looks like there'll be no wasteful spending of money for me today!"

And with that, she settled into the couch to watch her favorite soap.

*Breela! I'm sorry! Mionah was just a one-time thing! It didn't mean anything! I swear!*

*Oh Yasta, why? Why?! Don't I mean anything to you? Don't you...love me anymore?*

*Yes, yes I do! I really do love you ! If only you knew the depth of my devotion to you! Mionah tricked me, she forced me into her bed!*

*Oh Yasta!*

*Oh Breela!*

*Oh Yasta! Hold me and never let me go! Love me and never leave me! Kiss me my darling! Kiss me!*

*Of course my beloved!*

- - melt into eachothers arms and kiss passionately - -

*End...(loud announcer voice) Next time on "Days of our Lusty Lives," Yasta and Breela are back together again...but how long will it last? Is Mionah gone forever? Is CeeCee pregnant with Goekun's baby? How will Vickts react to Breela's and Yasta's making up? Find out next week!*

Bulma groaned as she switched to another channel. Shallow plots and naive characters didn't appeal to her as much as they had before. It was a known fact that Yasta was a player, and Breela and Vickts had been a couple during one of her break-ups with Yasta. Much like Yamcha and Bulma, only Bulma was faithful - - except for that one time; but she honestly didn't know that her former secretary was inviting her out to dinner for a date, and that he was hoping for access to her panties later that night! But she had set him straight in the end and fired him before he'd dragged her into his bed. She shuddered involuntarily at the memory. Unknowingly she had switched to a channel that the guide read as "Cartoon Network" and a Japanese anime called "Dragon Ball Z" was airing at the time. She continued surfing the 2097 satellite channels until she came to a paperview program that was showing a movie.

"Hmmmmm...'Titanic.' I wonder what this is about..." three hours later she was moping on the couch, tears flooding down her face as she watched the credits roll by. "That...*sob*...is so...*sniff*...sad...*sob sob sniff*...I can't...*choke sob*...believe that Rose...*cough sob sniff*...lost her...*sniff*...one, true...love *sob sob sniff choke sob cough cough sniff*!"

Vegeta had just entered the kitchen to get himself some food when he heard the strangled noises being emitted from the living room. Curious to see what the cause of the woman's recent pain was, he strode quietly to the doorway between the two rooms. He stifled a growl when he saw she was crying over a stupid movie on TV.

"No wonder you're so fat. You sit around on your lazy ass all day and cry over crappie movies on the tele-division." Vegeta grunted, leaning against the door post.

Bulma nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard his snotty voice. But she recovered quickly and turned around to give him a piece of her mind - - "For your information, it's a tele-vision, not division, baka. And this movie I just finished watching was a tragedy! It's supposed to make you cry! AND I AM NOT FAT!"

"Nan-de-moh, I could care less about what this box is called and the type of movie you are watching. Where's my lunch baka-woman?" he growled.

"I don't know." she replied icily.

"Yes you do! Since that other female is gone, it is your job to provide sustenance for me. I am, after all-"

"I know, I know...'The Prince of the Saiyans!' Fine, I'll get your damn food." she grumbled and headed into the kitchen.

"Good."

"Grrrrrr! Here!" she handed him a box of chicken corndogs from the freezer.

"And what am I supposed to do with this? It's cold and you know very well that I do not eat frozen stuff. Raw yes, frigid no."

"You take one out..." she demonstrated. "And put it into the microwave for 1 minute and 10 seconds. Then, it's done. You can only nuke a few at a time. Have fun!" and she walked back out into the living room.

Vegeta growled but proceeded to do as she had instructed. He warmed up about 20 corndogs and wolfed them all down in satisfaction. He then followed her into the other room.

"What baka movie is on now?" he asked rudely as he plopped down on the couch next to her.

"...Ummm...It says here that 'Terminator 2' is on now. I never did see the sequel." Bulma mused.

"Who cares about this 'Sequel' movie, I know enough about earthen word definitions to recognize that a 'terminator' is a destroyer!" Vegeta responded, almost excitedly.

Bulma rolled her eyes. "Typical male. Loves blood, battle, explosions, and death. I guess all species of men are the same, be they human or Saiyan."

"And all species of women are the same too..." Vegeta added disinterestedly.

"Really? How so?"

"You're all bitches."

This "innocent" comment earned Vegeta a vicious smack from a pillow, while the impact didn't

hurt he braced his ears for the squawking that was certain to follow, yet didn't. He looked over at the woman curiously.

"What? Oh! Why didn't I scold you?" he nodded questioningly. "Simple, I want to see this movie too you know." she replied sweetly.

An hour and forty minutes later, Bulma regretted letting Vegeta watch the movie. His thirst for battle was not whet by the vicious ongoings of the motion picture, instead it was increased greatly. The sound of blood spurting from wounds and the dull thud of lifeless bodies hitting the ground mixed with the dying screams and gasps of victims seemed to sing a sweet melody to his barbaric ears. He had smirked with morbid satisfaction every time a new person died at the hands of the robots from the future, Bulma was aware of the uncanny similarity of the "Terminators" in the movie to the androids that her friends were preparing to fight in only two years. She shuddered at the thought that that maniac named Dr. Gero might have originally concocted his idea for evil artificial humans from a simple movie such as the one she and the Saiyan Prince had only just finished watching.

Vegeta noticed this quick movement from the corner of his eye. He almost groaned at the woman's public display of fear, didn't she have any pride? Even if he was mortified by the movie, he had enough sense to lock it up and save it for mental training later. But inside, he knew that the movie wasn't what had caused her shudder, he could almost sense that it was something else. But that thought was the last one he had before his mind went blank.

"I am unsure as to what is bothering you, Bulma Briefs. But I should hope that it does not cause you to worry so much as to curse your lovely face with unsightly wrinkles. I am far overdue for my training, but I do hope to see you again." the "Saiyan Prince" said as he walked away.

Bulma's light skin paled even more as she heard the grammatically correct speech coming from Vegeta's mouth. Her jaw fell down in dumbfoundment as she regarded him in disbelief. Bulma remained staring stupidly out into the space where he'd been for some time before at last recollecting herself. 'Was that Vegeta or did I just imagine it all?' she wondered as her brain slowly reviewed what had happened. 'I feel like Alice must've when she entered Wonderland!'