Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters within this chapter.

Title: Missed Chances 4?

RECAPS: The plane carrying Todd Manning and John McBain went down. Natalie had been waiting for it and quickly rushed to the crime scene as Bo thought about how slim the chances of either of them being alive was. Unbeknownst to them, John was slipping through the woods haunted by the memory of something he had done and his hands covered with blood. He then found a small hotel and booked a room, picking up the phone to call either Natalie or Michael. Natalie got a call from John and left to go meet him. Bo, feeling suspicious, put a tail on her. She went to the motel where he's staying, knocked on the door and he answered.

Previously

Natalie's eyes went from the address and room number on her hand to the room number on the door. Satisfied that it was the right one she knocked. Her eyes widened and she gasped as the door swung open, revealing a very bruised and half-naked John McBain.

John smiled weakly and moved aside to let Natalie come in. She did so and he shut the door. "Were you followed?" She shook her head. "Uncle Bo put a tail on me but I shook him pretty quick. He's probably still driving down that road," she said with satisfaction in her voice. He chuckled and shook his head, running his hand over his hair.

Natalie tried to keep her mind off the fact that he had clearly just showered and was wearing only his ripped pants as she embraced him, thanking God that he was really there. "I'm so glad that you're alive," she whispered. He inhaled the rich strawberry scent of her shampoo as he rubbed soothing circles on her back. "I'm here." She pulled back, her eyes slowly moving to his well-toned chest.

She swallowed and turned around, trying to catch her suddenly shaky breath. "Sorry about the pants, I hadn't really packed for an overnight. My shirt was beyond repair." She turned around, silently thanking him with her eyes as she picked the shirt up with one finger, examining it before dropping it again. "Clearly." She turned around and sat on the bed, patting the empty space beside her.

John sat, making sure to keep space between them. "So, we should probably get right down to it." He smiled at her. "Have I ever told you that I love how blunt you are?" She smiled; seeming to glow in the light of his smile that was seen far too little. "All right. The transport was going by the book at first. Everything was routine—which you know is the code word for boring right?" She smiled and waited for him to continue.

"About thirty minutes in, the trouble started. Margaret Cochran came in from the back of the plane waving a gun and yelling about how she needed Todd to deliver her baby." Natalie gasped but remained silent to let John continue. "I finally talked her into letting me do it after reminding her that police officers are trained in childbirth." He swallowed, and Natalie reached down to take his hand into hers, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"She started hemorrhaging just as the final contraction came. The baby was a little girl, but she wasn't breathing." His voice cracked at this point, but he held up his hand when Natalie started to speak and he continued. "I did everything they taught us to do, but it was no use. The baby died. Margaret's hemorrhaging had stopped and she was too weak to do anything but scream for her baby." He wiped his eyes angrily and took deep breaths. "I couldn't save her," he whispered. Natalie gripped his hand tighter, offering her his strength and giving the tiny soul that had never had a chance to experience life a moment of silence.

Finally John was able to continue. "Todd had gotten loose during the mayhem, and he tried to shoot one of the guards. The bullet ricocheted and hit the pilot instead. We tried to keep the plane airborne, but it crashed. Everything went black, and the next thing I knew I was waking up to a wall of flames. I fought my way out of the plane, listening to Margaret scream for help. Todd was already dead. I passed him on my way out. But Margaret—I could have saved her, Natalie. But I chose to save my own sorry life instead."

Natalie brought his hand up to her lips and kissed it fiercely as his head dropped. He was too ashamed to meet her eyes. She reached a hand and gripped his chin, forcing him to meet her gaze. "John, there is nothing you could have done. If you had gone back for Margaret, you both would probably be dead right now. You did nothing wrong." "But how do I know that she wouldn't have survived if I'd just goner back?"

Her heart broke at the pleading that was in his voice and his eyes. "She was already weak from the blood loss and labor, John. I highly doubt she could have made it through the flames and far enough away from the plane for her to survive." Her hand moved to cup his cheek. "What you're suffering? It's called survival's guilt and it's suffered by millions of people who have been in your situation. You have done nothing to warrant your hiding from the law, John."

His eyes locked on hers, taking solace from the assurance and warmth he saw there. His hand reached up to brush the hair away from her face and then moved down to lightly stroke her cheek with the back of his hand. He wondered about what he was doing, but he was tired of missing chances.

Natalie licked her lips, and she watched as John moved forward. "John," she whispered as he captured her lips with his. She returned the kiss eagerly, running her hands along his strong shoulders as he tangled his hands in her hair. Her mind screamed at her to stop, but her heart wouldn't let her. This was a long time coming.

TO BE CONTINUED