A/N: So here are a bunch of little drabbles with no connection to each other or any other posted works. Some of them have longer bits attached to them, but probably won't be posted, and a few were requests. I'll probably do more like these in the future. Enjoy!
Title: Drabbles 1
Genre: Humor, friendship
Rating: T
Warnings: Language
(Death Mech)
"Hey, Lance, can I ask you to build me something?" Matt asked with a hopeful smile.
Lance rolled out from under the chassis of his Valkyrie to give Matt a surprised, curious look. He'd never had anyone on the team ask him to build something for them. "Depends on what it is," he finally replied.
"I want a giant robot that I can ride around in and kill monsters with," Matt said with a wide grin.
Lance arched a brow and shook his head, "Nope, can't do that."
Matt pouted, "Aw, you don't know how?"
"Sadly, no, I don't. And even if I could build a pilotable death mech, I wouldn't build one for you," Lance said dismissively.
Matt crossed his arms to frown, "Why not?"
"Because I'd want the death mech," Lance said with a smirk.
Matt's frowning face morphed into a grin. "Of course," he chuckled.
(Posture)
"Better change the sizes," Lance said offhandedly.
Natalie and Anna glanced around. They looked back down at their notes of sizes for new armor for the team, and frowned, trying to figure out where they'd messed up.
"I'm pretty sure this is all right," Anna said after a few long moments.
Lance shook his head, "If you get the men's armor in the same size, then it won't fit Matt's: he's taller than me."
Natalie blinked in surprise, "Wait, really? I thought for sure you two are the same height."
And looking at the two men leaning against the wall seemed to reinforce that thought. The tops of their heads lined up almost perfectly. Lance and Matt stood off the wall at a gesture from Natalie, who stood on tip toe to be sure the tops of their heads were lining up. Lance rolled his eyes when the mage came to the same conclusion that they were the exact same height.
"Matt slouches when he stands," the gunner explained impatiently. He arched a brow when Matt looked confused, and said, "Stand up straight, Matt. Shoulders squared and back, head up and level, back straight, don't bend your knees. Act like you have a spine, at the very least."
Matt looked confused at the commands, but did as Lance said. And sure enough, he was nearly two inches taller than Lance when standing with proper posture. Anna whistled at the difference that proper posture had on Matt. Natalie looked equally impressed, though her lips quirked in a grin when Matt soon slouched back down.
"Okay, so Matt is taller," Natalie conceded. She glanced at Matt and added, "You should probably work on your posture; having a bad one can lead to back problems."
Matt shrugged, "Hasn't bothered me yet."
(Valkyrie)
On the third day that Anna came back with no game, she was scowling.
"I thought you were a great hunter, the best in Greenwood," Lance mocked as he munched on a bag of chips from where he sat on the edge of his Valkyrie tank. He mumbled around a mouthful, "If you're the best they have, then it's no wonder your village's stupid rock was taken."
Anna glared at Lance, "I'm a phenomenal hunter. It's not my fault that the prey is scared off."
Lance snorted as he popped another chip in his mouth, "Please, I've been through here before, and I know there are tons of game animal out there just waiting to be taken down. You must be blundering through the trees like a fuming rhino to scare all of them off."
Anna's glare deepened as she said in an icy tone, "More like a clunky metal behemoth. Tell me: do you use your tank to go on hunts?"
Lance scoffed, "Of course not. It would scare the game off for… miles… around…" He trailed off as Anna arched a pointed brow.
"Exactly," Anna snapped. "How the hell do you expect me to catch anything when your fancy car is rumbling along giving everything in a five mile radius plenty of warning that something's amiss?"
"It's a tank, not a car," Lance fumed. He scowled over at where Matt and Natalie were smirking at him, "Gods, you're all a bunch of unwashed idiots."
"It takes an idiot to know an idiot," Anna growled. She pointed at the Valkyrie and said flatly, "If you want to eat food that doesn't make you sick, then you need to ditch the rolling metal mass. I'm never going to find anything of substance if your trundling box of booms is warning them that I'm there."
"She has a point, Lance," Natalie piped up to say.
Lance crossed his arms stubbornly, "I'm not leaving my precious Valkyrie behind. What if I need her for battle?"
Matt grinned as he said, "I manage just fine without one."
"Yeah, well not all of us have substituted a brain in favor of more muscle," Lance said snidely.
"So you admit you're weaker than Matt?" Anna asked with a sly look in her eyes.
Lance glared at her, "I am not! You want to see me fight without my tank, then fine." He jumped down and followed the others through the trees. He missed the triumphant gleam in Anna's eyes, and the grin Natalie hid behind her hand. In fact, it wasn't until that evening as they were eating a roast deer that Anna had caught that he realized he'd been had.
(Snow)
"Matt seems happy," Anna noted with a grin, watching Matt leap through the snow like a child.
Lance nodded, looking torn between amusement and exasperation as he also watched Matt dive headfirst into a snowdrift. "Yeah, he always gets like this in the snow. I dunno why, though," he sighed.
Natalie shrugged, "Everyone has their favorite things; one of Matt's just happens to be snow."
Matt called from further ahead, "Hey, the pond is entirely frozen! Can we go skating?"
Anna snorted, "Who wants to skate?"
"Nuh-uh," Natalie said immediately, "I have two left feet when I skate."
Lance smirked at her and asked, "Worried it'll end up like last time?"
"Last time?" Anna asked with an intrigued smile.
Natalie flushed and mumbled, "I, er, lost my balance, and accidentally melted the ice with some magic. The guys had to pull me out."
Anna snorted, "Nice."
"Come on!" Matt called bounding back towards the others with an excited grin. "Don't worry, Natz! I'll teach you how to skate!"
The mage spluttered protests that went ignored as Matt began hauling her by the wrist through the snow. Lance shook his head with a sigh and trudged after them, walking along the furrow Matt had plowed. Anna grinned as she followed, thinking it was cute to see Matt acting so childish, and dragging the others along with him. She crested the hill in time to see Natalie digging both heels into the snow to try and stop the bull-headed swordsman from dragging her onto the icy pond. Her attempts were useless, and she let out a short scream as Matt led her onto the ice.
"Calm down, it's not that bad," Lance chided with a sigh.
"Not that bad?" Natalie shrilled as she clung to Matt's arm. "I'm going to die, I just know it!"
Matt grinned, seemingly oblivious to the mage's terror, "I'll protect you! Now then, spread your feet just a little bit and angle your toes out…"
Anna settled down on her heels in the snow, propping her chin up on her hands as she watched her two friends. Natalie, once she had calmed slightly, began to grasp the basics of skating. Matt encouraged her all the while, giving pointers and tips until the mage seemed to be doing well. Lance stood not far from Anna with his hands in his pockets, scanning the landscape for any monsters though he also watched the lesson happening on the ice. Natalie was beginning to grin slightly as she got the hang of keeping her balance. She had to admit that it was kind of fun once you got the hang of it.
"Got it?" Matt asked cheerfully, still holding Natalie's hands.
Natalie nodded slightly, "Yeah, I think so…"
"Good," Matt said, and abruptly let go of Natalie's hands. He winced as she promptly panicked and fell face first on the ice. "I thought you had it?"
"I don't, apparently," Natalie groaned from the ground. She tried to stand up only to be unable to get any traction to do so on the ice, and slipped back down. "Help?" she begged.
Matt chuckled and held his hands out for the mage to grasp. He hauled her back up with expert balance and guided her back to the edge of the pond. Halfway there, a snowball smacked him in the face. Matt spluttered in shock, and glared at the two on the bank. Anna was pointing at Lance, who was pointing back at her. Both wore wide-eyed, innocent looks. In reality, they'd both thrown a snowball at their friend.
"This means war," Matt declared. He shot across the ice, dragging Natalie with him, and spun to land her safely on her feet on the edge. He leaned down to scoop up some snow, and flung it at Lance, only to scowl as his aim went a little wide. A snowball smacked him in the side of the head, and a giggle from Natalie told him she'd been the perpetrator.
The giggling cut off as another snowball caked itself on the back of the mage's head, courtesy of Anna. And then there were snowballs flying everywhere. Shouts and laughs rang out. Alliances were temporarily made only to be broken few minutes later. It wasn't until the sun began to dip in the sky that a truce was called. The four friends gathered up, grinning and chuckling, and coated with snow.
"That was fun," Anna sighed as she dug out the team's large tent.
Lance was clearing the snow from a large area with magic to set up their tent as he added, "Been awhile since I've had a snowball fight."
Natalie was brushing the snow from her hair as she admitted, "That was my first one. It was fun."
Matt was helping Anna pitch the tent, but he glanced over in surprise, "You've never had a snowball fight before today? What a deprived child you must've been."
(Reluctant Singer)
"You three are so lucky. We never get to hear Anna sing anymore, but you guys probably get to hear her every night!" a villager sighed.
His wistful statement caused the three waiting by the gate to shoot him confused looks.
"Anna sings?" Matt asked.
"Very beautifully: better than any I've ever heard before," a second villager agreed.
Natalie cocked her head, "I've never even heard her so much as whistle, much less sing—outside of her healing magic, anyway."
"Really? That's a shame," the first villager said in an almost-amazed tone.
Lance arched a brow as he muttered, "My life is plenty fine without any more screeches from Anna."
"She wouldn't screech if you'd quit picking on her," Matt pointed out.
"But she's hot when she's mad."
Natalie rolled her eyes, and muttered, "Figures that's why he does it. He did the same thing to me for years."
"You're hot when you're mad, too. Also pretty hot when you aren't."
"Matt, you'll make sure I resurrect Lance after I kill him, right?"
"Er, I guess so?"
"Thanks for the vote of confidence for my life, man."
"Sorry 'bout that, guys, I couldn't find my adventure pouch," Anna called as she jogged up. She smiled at the two villagers and said, "I'm off!"
"Take care, Anna."
The four filed out of the village. Anna shot Natalie a curious look for the death-glare the mage was giving Lance. The gunner merely smirked back at her with an arched brow. Matt subtly shifted between them, cutting off the staring-glaring contest.
"So, we heard you sing well, Anna," the swordsman commented cheerfully.
Anna flushed, "Who told you that?"
"Those two at the gate," Natalie replied, finally giving up shooting Lance a glare through Matt's body. She turned her attention to Anna's embarrassed face and asked, "How come you've never done it before? Sang, I mean."
Anna shrugged, and mumbled, "I'm not that good."
"The two we were speaking with seemed to think otherwise," Matt said with a puzzled look.
"Practically thought your screeching could charm anyone," Lance added in a bored tone.
Anna rolled her eyes, "The villagers say a lot of things about me that aren't true. Exaggerating my skills is about all they do all day." Her cheeks were still pink.
"Can we hear you sing some time?" Natalie asked hopefully.
"I think I'd rather spare you guys. I'm really not that good," Anna mumbled.
"Aw, come on: let us be the judge of that!" Matt pressed. He fixed Anna with puppy-dog eyes and said, "Please?"
Lance snorted and sighed, "You might as well agree to one song, just to shut them up: they'll never stop badgering you otherwise."
"I'd really rather not, if it's all the same," Anna said, self-consciously rubbing her arm.
"Tonight at the campfire, then!" Matt cheered.
(Battle Cat)
"Hey, Matt? Have you seen my ammo pouch?" Lance asked from the far side of the campsite.
Matt glanced around in surprise, "You lost your explosives?"
"I swear it was right here," Lance grumbled as he scowled down at the pile of clothes he'd left in a heap the night before.
Natalie snorted, "Well maybe you shouldn't leave your valuable stuff sitting out unprotected all night long?"
Anna arched a brow, "So there's a thief running around with Lance's boom-bringers?"
There was dead silence between the four as the ranger's statement sank in: there was a thief running around with high-level explosives and deadly poisons. But before any of them could actually panic about that fact, NoLegs suddenly appeared, wearing Lance's Army Hat, a miniature bandolier of bullets, the missing ammo pouch, and he had a tiny rifle floating to one side, and a tankard on the other. There was no way the cat could see, as the oversized helmet was covering his face all the way down to his mouth. The four humans gaped at him, and the way he was swaying slightly as he sat there. Anna's eyes narrowed as she smelled a distinct scent drifting through the air.
"Damnit, furball, give me my stuff back," Lance snapped, stomping forwards.
NoLegs gave a slurring meow, which Natalie translated through a laugh as, "Hasta la vista, baby." A split second later, and all laughter vanished when the cat opened fire. The recoil sent bullets flying everywhere, and the team scattering with yelps to take cover behind trees and rocks.
"What the hell, NoLegs?!" Matt shouted.
"I smelled it: He's on the 'nip!" Anna cried.
Natalie groaned, "Not again! He always does something stupid when he's had cat nip…"
Lance growled and snapped, "Well he's picked the wrong person to steal from this time. I'm making a hat out of that damn cat."
The gunner loaded a bullet into his gunblade, ignoring his friends' protests. He ducked around the tree, took aim, and promptly threw himself back into cover before firing when a bomb was lobbed in his direction. The explosive fell short, but it still sent chunks of dirt and rock flying all over. Before the dust could settle, Lance ducked back out, but his weapon was shot out of his grasp by a bullet. Whether that shot had been by luck or skill didn't matter: the gunner had been disarmed, and was forced back behind cover.
"Pinned down by a furball," Lance grumbled. "I'll never live this humiliation down."
Anna gave a tense chuckle and said, "Maybe we should let NoLegs fight with a gun more often since he's so good at it." She winced as another explosion rocked the ground.
"That won't be an option, because I'm gonna kill him."
"At least he isn't advancing," Matt noted. He dared to poke his head around the tree, but soon pulled back with a yelp as a bullet whizzed past. "…But his accuracy is improving."
"His high shouldn't last too much longer," Natalie mentioned as she flinched from a hail of bullets hitting the tree she was hidden behind.
And sure enough, the bullets and explosions died. NoLegs gave a woozy sounding meow, and Natalie cautiously peered out to see the cat had slumped over, and was sleeping. "It's safe now," she announced, stepping around the tree.
Matt immediately darted over to restrain Lance, who had begun storming towards the cat with a look of murder in his eyes. "No killing my pet," he warned.
"Your pet just nearly killed all of us!"
Anna rolled her eyes, "If we went by that logic, then all of us would have to kill each other. Matt stabbed at Natz when they first met, you shot both of them, and I shot Matt."
Lance opened his mouth to argue that point, but said nothing after he considered her statement. He blew out an aggravated sigh, and nodded. As soon as Matt released him, he strode over to the cat, snatched up his ammo pouch and hat, and kicked the cat for good measure. NoLegs woke with a hiss, and stared up at Lance in baffled confusion. He glanced around at the war-torn clearing, smoke craters and bullet holes everywhere, before shrugging and vanishing.
"Not even an apology," Lance grumbled as he began picking up anything salvageable.
A/N: I hope that at least one of these made you laugh! So Battle Cat was requested by FierceDeityMask and Guest reviewer, Little Follower. Valkyrie tank was requested/inspired by Florarena Kitasatina. Leave me some reviews, please!
