Chapter 12

"You know what you are gonna recite at the concert?" Henry ask, a smirk on his face, alerting Gilbert to the fact that Henry knew something he didn't.

"I've got an idea or two," Gilbert said camly.

"Are ya nervous?" Henry asked still smirking.

"Nope. Isn't the first time I've recited. I've got nothing to be nervous about."

"You sure about that?" And at Gilbert's confident nod, Henry dropped his bomb. "Anne's gonna be there."

Gilbert reacted predictably, his mouth gaping open as he processed what exactly this meant, before all of a sudden lunging for a book and paging through it muttering.

"So ya know what your gonna recite?" Henry asked again smirking.

Gilbert glared at him, his answer much less calm, "No! It's got to be perfect."

"Why? I thought you had nothing to be nervous about?" Henry asked innocently. "Unless there is someone gonna be there you want to impress?"

"Your sure Anne's gonna be there?" Gilbert asked anxiously.

"Yup. I was as surprised as you when Marilla gave her permission to attend with Diana. But she is to attend with the Barry's and spend the night at their place afterwards."

"Anne's gonna be there," Gilbert said with a blissfull smile that caused Henry to chuckle. Anne had't thawed to Gilbert, but he was as dead gone on her as ever.

Gilbert could tell Anne was distracted at school when he out spelled her and beat her in mental arithmatic. He considered the concert to be an opportunity to impress Anne. If he could just make her see him as something other than her adopted brother's best friend and a school rival, he was sure she would finally turn that dreamy gray gaze on him and see him as he saw her. He wasn't sure if Henry thought he just wanted Anne to like him because he was used to being well liked or if Henry had realized that Gilbert had gone and fallen in love with his best friend's sister, and probably had been since she cracked her slate on his head. She would turn 14 in less than a month and he had already began counting down the days from then to when he could actually ask to court her. He had a hazy hope that when she was 15 he could maybe start atleast eacorting her to concerts and the like, even if he couldn't actually court her until she was at least 16.

As Gilbert stood waiting for his turn to go on, his eyes scanned the audience until he spotted the bright red hair he was looking for. Henry had riden over with him and his parents and his shock of red hair could be seen as well, but it was Anne's fiery locks Gilbert looked for. He had selected Bingen on the Rhine, after Henry had given a sigh as Gilbert thumbed through his text book, still undecided just what piece would be perfect and said, "Anne has always been fond of Bingen on the Rhine. Lady of Shallot is another favorite of hers, but I'd say your safer with Bingen on the Rhine, it is masculine enough."

"The Lady of Shalot is her favorite?" Gilbert had asked.

"And it would sound ridiculous coming from a male and Anne might think you were mocking the work. Pick Bingen on the Rhine."

So Gilbert selected Bingen on the Rhine and poured his heart and soul into mastering his performance.

When Gilbert's turn came he made his way to the stage and knowing that if he looked at Anne he would likely forget the entire thing, he kept his eyes resolutely elsewhere until he got to the lines he thought of as hers, "There is another, not a sister," he said as his eyes flicked to her, finally gazing upon her. The pain in his voice though was not acting, it was very real as he continued. Anne was ignoring him, reading a book rather than giving him a single opportunity to impress her. He did his best to cover up the disappointment that rang through his very soul.

As soon as he exited the stage he found a spot outside alone and in the cool night air leaned against the building, letting the dejection he felt wash over him. Was he never to gain her favor? Was he to go on like this indefinitely? Every opportunity to impress her ignored or rebuffed? Gilbert was at a loss on how to thaw Anne Shirley's heart, his ever present optimism that she would forgive him ebbing away.

"She didn't read a single page of that book, mate," Henry's voice said from the dark off to the right. Then leaning up against the wall, next to him, he said, "She hates that book, it was Oliver Twist. Refuses to read it. It wasn't even hers. She picked it up off the seat between her and Rhoda Murray and as soon as you left the stage she laid it back down. I know Anne, and she was listening to you. Her eyes had that glassy shinny thing they do when she is absolutely thrilled and she says she feels her soul has been touched. Anne would never admit it, but she was spell bound by you in there."

"Why does she hate me? She is friendly to Mrs. Lynde and you said what Mrs. Lynde said of her was worse than me," Gilbert said quietly.

"You really don't get it to you?" Henry said quietly. "Were orphans. No one has wanted us our whole lives. Even here she was almost sent back because she wasn't a boy. I was one year and one week from aging out of the orphanage when Marilla adopted us. I didn't know how I would take care of Anne and Tommy when I would have to leave the orphanage. We never talked about it, but I could tell Anne had thought about it too. She knew that we would be split up. Even if I could get work nearby at one of the factories, she would have another two years to go in the orphanage before she could join me outside it, and Tommy even longer. And there was no guarantee we would be together as a group again. It was highly unlikely. All we could do was pray we would be adopted into families. We had sworn a pact that if one of us was adopted we would make the best of the situation and never look back. We couldn't afford to look back if such an opportunity ever came, though the older we got the less likely it was. I made Anne promise right before she left that she wouldn't cry to leave us behind. We had pulled together as a family, but we were at fates whim. No one has ever wanted her in her life other than me and Tommy. Matthew was the first person out of the orphanage that wanted her. She's brilliant and sweet and I couldn't have picked a better sister and anyone who can't see that, well I'd call them a fool, but Anne can't see that and she's no fool. For her, its easier to not let you in, afterall no one has ever wanted her and its no secret everyone in Avonlea thinks your great. Why would you want her if you have the whole of Avonlea at your feet? When you can have anyone you want with a smile and wink?" Standing up straight, Henry said, "I'll see you inside mate. Charlie had a bit of drool about him that I intend to see too."

Gilbert watched Henry walk away his mind reeling. Could it be that Anne really didn't see that she was exactly who he wanted? The only one he wanted? He couldn't have anyone he wanted, or he would have Anne. The one girl he wanted did seem to want him. Henry's words implied Anne was protecting herself from what she precieved what would ultimately be a rejection from him. He could never reject Anne, all he wanted was to be accepted by her. Taking a deep breath Gilbert closed his eyes and imagined Anne's features in front of him. He had to keep persevering, because if he could just thaw her attitude bit by bit, someday he would be rewarded with those dreamy eyes locked on his and a sweet smile that was just for him as they promised their lives to each other.

...

"They jumped on old Miss Barry?" Gilbert asked Henry his eyes widening and laughing as Henry recounted Anne's most recent misadventure.

"Aye and it served Anne right to get the surprise of her life. My sympathy was of course with Miss Barry. Maybe Anne will finally learn not to invade other folks beds. Of course she maintains that she didn't mean to invade Miss Barry's and it doesn't count as invasion when she seeks out me and Tommy, because we've always slept together when we needed each other. That girl just doesn't understand that she can't just come crawling into my bed with Tommy anymore because she's scared or feeling lonely. It isn't the orphanage and a fella doesn't want to wake up from any sort of dreams to find his sister or little brother nearby. Its down right embarrassing. I was tempted the last time to tell Marilla about it and ask her to explain things to Anne, but having to explain it to Marilla would be just as bad as explaining it to Anne and I couldn't do it. Explaining it to either would have been embarrassing. And if I can't bring myself to explain it to them, I doubt Matthew could either, so there's no help there."

Gilbert, having an inlinking of what his friend was referring to, burst out laughing. He, of course, would find it a dream come true to wake up to Anne in his room, but he saw how Henry would find it frustrating and embarrassing. Actually he thought, while it would be a dream come true he would also be awful embarrassed since unlike in Henry's case, dreams of kissing Anne were what tended to put his body in an embarrassing state and to face her in such a state, no, Gilbert thought, that would be awful.

"It's not funny," Henry said crossly. "It was never really a problem at the orphanage. And while I knew it wasn't proper behavior at the orphanage and that they had girl and boy's dormitories as was proper, survival meant more than proper behavior, but Anne can't seem to break the habit. Though it isn't as frequent as when we first arrived and Tommy almost always sleeps in his own bed these days."

Gilbert sobered up at this reminder that Anne's habit of sneaking out of her room to join her adopted brothers was a habit born of desperation for warmth and safety. He remembered that Henry had once told him that the head girl would lock Anne out of the dormitory leaving her with no where to sleep. His mind drifted back to what Henry had said outside the concert, and he was hit by the realization all over again that Anne had overcome things he couldn't even imagine and that he didn't want to ever give up on earning her regard, that she had valid reasons for her reluctance to accept him.

"So Anne gave a heartfelt apology," Henry said cheekily, stressing the two words, never missing a chance to rub in the reminder of her apology, or lack there of, to Gilbert for the slate incident. "And Miss Barry toppled to Anne's natural charm. Anne claimed her to be a kindred spirit after all and has decided that there are far more kindred spirits in the world then she once believed."

"Aye that there are," Gilbert agreed. Silently adding that while the world might have many kindred spirits, each person only had one soulmate and he was convinced his was Anne.