OMg DiS is My1sT srty so b NiCe n reViEw!11!1!11
My name is Angel Voldemort and my father is Lord Voldemort. I'm fifteen years old and I have long pretty blonde hair with pink streaks in it. I always wear something pink everyday because it gets my mind off of the fact that my father is The Dark Lord. My body is perfect and curved and wonderfully tanned, but I have a horrible scar that goes across my back. One time my father got mad at me because I said that he shouldn't kill people and he threw a samurai sword at me.
I almost bled to death, and I ruined the white carpet in my bedroom! I was really sad and cried for a week, but my Dad healed me with a dark spell and told me I was a bad daughter. As if! I am like, the best daughter ever! Anyone who survives fifteen years living with the Dark Lord would have to be, wouldn't they? But anyway the sword totally left a horrible disfiguring scar on my back and so I can't ever wear tank tops again!
Daddy said he was gonna use me in an evil plot to kill Harry Potter. I agreed because if he will rant on for ages if you don't. And throw a curse or two, but nevr at me. He just throws really big swords at me. So I went to Hogwarts and totally because the most popular girl in school. I was in Gryffindor because Slytherin's for posers and goths and Hufflepuffs for dorks. And Ravenclaw is for the geeks and nerds. And I am totally none of the above! The sorting hat said I would make a good slytherin, but ew! That's totally so nasty because I am not a goth!
And this is where my story begins:
"Angel, you're going to be late for class!" Lavander Brown said from the doorway.
"I know!" I yelled back, "I'm just brushing my hair!"
"You can do that later, Angel!" Hermione said, her bushy hair ugly and bushy.
"You should try it sometime!" I insulted the know it all geeky girl. Honestly why wasn't she in Ravenclaw? She always went around with her face in her book and correcting people like she was better than everyone.
Parvati and Lavander nodded in agreement.
"Well then!" Hermione sniffed, her face screwed up like she was offended.
"Go away you loser! You're just a wannabe anyway!" I said, "Come on Lavander and Parvati! We've got better things to do than hand around with losers like her."
Parvati and Lavander and I laughed meanly and we walked to Charms class where we were learning to to turn our hair different colors! I was so excited that I didn't even have time to make fun of Professor Flitwick for falling off his desk for the sixth time. Harry and Ron and Dean and Seamus were there, as was Neville. Neville was sitting with Hermione because they are both stupid losers and losers stick together right?
"Oi' Harry!" Ron said, "You do that homework Hermoine was talking about?"
"Er..." Harry Potter, the hotness of Hogwarts was looking kinda clueless.
"Oh my god! Isn't Ron so cute!" Lavander squealed happily.
"Didn't you snog him in the common room?" Parvati grinned.
"Oh gross ew!" I said, "Redheads are nasty. Now Harry, he's so hot!"
Parvati looked kinda miffed (cause she went to the ball with him once), "He's not so nice."
"Really? Well who else is so cute? I mean, cute enough for me to date?" I tossed my pretty blond hair back and smiled at the entire class. Dean and Seamus were out of the running because duh, they weren't well known enough. Neville was just EW and that left the Slytherins.
"Draco Malfoy is so hot!" Lavander said.
"Ew hes really not hot!" I said. And he wasn't. Not as hot as me. His face always looked like a ferret. And who wants to date an animal? I am the daughter of Lord Voldemort, I shouldn't date animal people! Besides, his father was my father's hired help. I don't date the sons of hired help. I'm not DESPERATE! Thats' so nasty!
Suddenly there was a pink explosion in the middle of the classroom!
WOW IM DON3 WIT TEH FIRST CHAPTER1!11! I WONDER WUT IS GONG 2 HAP3N? LOL R3AD AND R3VEIW PLZ!1!1!1111!1111! OMG LOL
