Vegeta woke up. It was Friday, Friday the thirteenth. Of course Vegeta didn't know that, and even if he did, it wouldn't matter. It was just like any other day, a day to train. He put on his black shorts and walked to the kitchen. Opening the fridge, he cleaned almost all of it out, except for a small plate of Bulma's cooking, which he fed to Scratch. (The cat muttered something about a coat working, but Vegeta didn't hear it.)
After setting down all the food, he shoveled it into his mouth with one hand, and opened up the newspaper with the other. After skimming the headlines, he read his horoscope. It was very short and to the point, "Whoa, shit man, you're screwed." Vegeta rocked back a little and read it again. Still the same.
"Humph!" Vegeta said around a mouth full of food, "Like these pathetic humans can predict my future! OW!" Vegeta yelped as he bit his tongue, "Dammit!" Then he looked back at the horoscope with a little bit of suspicion in his face. Shrugging it off, he walked out to the Gravity Room.
Hopping in, Vegeta started up the machine. At first, it ran fine, and then the gravity suddenly reversed.
"OW!" Vegeta yelled as he hit his head on the ceiling with 400 times gravity worth of force, "What's wrong with this thing nAAAAAAA!" Gravity switched again and he fell to the floor, landing on his chin.
"This machines gone crazy!" Vegeta struggled out, and tried to make his way to the door. Gravity changed again, this time to the wall. Vegeta slammed onto his back, and then looked up. He was on the opposite side to the door. Before gravity could change again, Vegeta powered up and blasted a hole in the side of the room. Charging out, Vegeta rammed into Bulma, who had come out to see how he was.
"What's wrong with you?" Bulma asked.
"Gravity room...crazy...hit head!" He stammered out.
"Weird," She said and walked away.
Casting a furious glance at the chamber, Vegeta walked away. On his way to the pool he passed by Yhamcha, who was hanging out. "Go try out the GR," Vegeta said, "It's working well today."
"Alright!" Yhamcha yelled and raced to the ship.
Vegeta was in no mood to train today, so he walked out to the back yard. Immediately a blueberry pie fell on his head. The Saiyan wiped blueberry from his eyes and glared at the sky. Nothing was up there. The pie had fallen from the heavens. Great, now my hair will be blue forever! He thought, and walked towards the door to hide from the treacherous sky. His foot got snagged in a root and he fell face first into another pie that appeared. Dammit!! He began to get up, but five more huge pies sloshed onto his bare back, pushing back into the ground. Flipping over onto his back, he cupped both hands together and fired a beam into the sky. Three dozen more pies evaporated in the onslaught.
Vegeta slammed the door behind him, and looked around the kitchen for signs of danger. Nothing was in sight except for Scratch.
"Hey, cat! Don't even try anything," Vegeta said and walked to the sink to wipe off some blueberry juice. Just as he turned his back on Scratch, the cat let out an evil grin and started to glow.
Vegeta turned around to see Scratch was now seven feet tall, covered with spiky fur, had six legs, and was chewing bubble gum.
"What's with the gum?" Vegeta asked.
In response, Scratch spat the gum into Vegeta's hair, and then attacked.
The battle was short and vicious, and ended with Vegeta flying away from the deranged creature. He could barley fight today! He had even tried to use his ki again, but it didn't work! The Saiyan flew away from capsule corp., convinced the place was cursed.
"I don't understand!" Vegeta said as he flew to the north, "That damn horoscope can't be true!"
As he flew, hundreds of golf balls pelted him. "Owowowowowowowowowow," The little things were moving fast! "Screw this!" Vegeta yelled, and landed.
Golf balls continued to rain down, and Vegeta hid in a cave until they passed.
"What's going on? What did I do to deserve this?"
The clouds opened up and a huge stack of papers fell at Vegeta's feet.
"That's what you did," The voice of King Yhemma said.
"All that!"
"Well, actually, this is just the table of contents. This is what you really did,"
20,000 books, each the size of an encyclopedia fell all around Vegeta. The Saiyan looked around, completely stunned.
"So, is that all?"
"No, we still have the ones that are in the gray area, but we'll let them pass,"
A particularly tall stack of "The Bad Books" was struck by a strong gust of wind, Vegeta immediately moved out of the way, but the books didn't fall towards him, they fell of an underground bee hive.
"Damn you!" Vegeta yelled at the heavens as the bees swarmed around him.
"Actually, I didn't have anything to do with it," Yhemma said, a little thoughtful.
Beep!
"Aaaauurrrggghhh!" Vegeta yelled and blasted the watch off of his wrist. Seconds later he was jumping up and down with a death grip on his wrist muttering, "owowowowow," To himself. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!"
"Hey Vegeta!" Goku yelled, "Look at me! I've become a Super Saiyan Five!"
"Vegeta, we are so through," Bulma said.
"Yo, Vegeta," Yhamcha said, "The gravity chamber works fine, I can train in 20,000 times gravity now!"
"NooooooOOOOOO!" Vegeta couldn't believe this! What was happening! It can't be true! This must be a dream! It has to be.
"But what if it's not," Yhemma said.
"No!" Vegeta sat up in bed. Looking over, he saw Bulma sound asleep.
What happened? What did I eat? Or maybe I should narrow down that field and ask what I didn't eat, He thought glumly.
"Veggie," A sleepy voice said beside him.
Vegeta glanced down at him wife. "Ahh!" The cry escaped his lips. She was a troll!
Vegeta sat up in bed. Immediately he yanked Bulma up and stared at her face. Aside from having a shocked, puzzled look on it, she was normal. He dropped his mate, who landed with a thunk on the bed. Still not satisfied, Vegeta punched himself in the face.
"OW! Stupid, stupid, stupid!" He yelled, clutching his throbbing check.
"What in the world is the matter with you?" Bulma asked.
"Bad dream," He said, "Hey, whatever you do, don't let Yhamcha in the gravity chamber."
"Okay," She drew out the word slowly.
"Damn it Dende," Vegeta swore, "if this was one of your pathetic pranks, I'm going to kill you."
Dende awoke on the lookout, for once, completely innocent, and looked around. Why do I feel I should be running for my life?
There was a small beep from the ceiling, (Vegeta was about to blast it, but remembered what it was) and the newspaper fell at the foot of the bed. Bulma crawled forward and picked it up, grabbing the funnies, she handed the rest to Vegeta.
He opened it up and, through morbid curiosity, looked at his horoscope. "Whoa, shit man, you're screwed." Vegeta let out a groan and pulled the covers over his head. "Let me know when it's tomorrow," He said to Bulma.
Don't ask. No idea why I did this, where I was planning on going with it, or anything else. I really just wanted to attack Vegeta with pies!
