The ring was set, Cell stood in the middle with his eye's close, waiting for the start and his ultimate challenge. The reporter and his camera man stood on the side lines, having failed to interview the super being, and waited for the rest of the arrivals.
A dust cloud rose from the road, and the black limo came into sight just moments later. The door opened very majestically for a door, and the world champ stepped out.
"Cell! I am here to undo your-" The champ tripped on a root and impaled himself on a rock.
Vegeta landed ringside and looked at the champ with a scowl on his face. Seconds later the Saiyan was rolling on the ground with laughter.
"The chump didn't even make it to the ring?" He said between fits of laughter, "I hope you got that recorded, because I'm going to watch that for three day's straight!" He said to the cameraman. (A/N: What? Do you think I'm going to sit here and write about Hercules antics for seventy-two pages just because he was in the real Cell games! Pfff! Yeah right!)
Sixteen came in on the other side of the ring, looked around, nodded, and picked up a squirrel to pet. "Such a pretty squirrel!" He cooed, "Who's a pretty squirrel? You're a pretty squirrel! Yes you are!"
The rest of the gang landed behind Vegeta in lines as precise as a firing squad. The front line turned to the back line, Vegeta pulled out a banjo, and the whole crew broke into a line dance.
"Spin your partner round and round, and don't let them see that frown. Be as happy as you were at birth, because it's the end of the Earth," Vegeta sang.
The reporter stood there in shock and muttered to himself, "They really are hicks who play the banjo."
"Alright!" Kakarot said, "I'm going to fight first! Right Cell?"
No response.
"Cell? Hello? I said, I'm going to fight first!" The tall Saiyan walked up to Cell and face the front of the android. Seconds later he sighed and walked back.
"Father, what's wrong?" Gohan asked.
"He's asleep."
"Well, that's not a problem," Piccolo said, "He has Saiyan blood in him."
"So?" Vegeta asked.
"HEY CELL!" Piccolo yelled, "DINNER TIME!"
The monster came awake and looked around, wiping drool from his face.
"Tenth day already?" He mumbled, "Okay, time to fight!"
Kakarot walked back onto the ring and took a fancy pose. "How do you like this!" He said, waving his arms in a mockery of martial arts.
"Not bad, but how about this!" Cell made his wings stick up vertical, covered his mouth with one hand, and grabbed onto his foot with the other.
"AUURGH!" Kakarot yelled, "I surrender Cell. It is obvious you are better then me." The Saiyan stepped down and sulked in a corner.
"I'll go next!" Krillian said and hopped onto the ring.
"You?" Vegeta said, "But you are to weak, unlike me, and you can't fight with great warriors, like me, and will just be in the way, unlike me."
"Yea, but I just want to do one thing." Krillian charged up a huge beam and held it in front of him, "You want to see who is the smartest warrior around here Cell? Then watch this!" Krillian threw the Ki blast in the complete wrong direction and it blew the reporter and camera man to hell.
"Wow!" Vegeta gasped, "He is smart! I should have done that!"
Cell gaped at the brilliance of the maneuver, "Holy crap! That is smart. If they had been killed right off the bat then we could have shaved seven episodes off the Cell Games Saga!"
Krillian walked off the stage and was replaced by Gohan.
"Yo!" The boy called to the android.
"What's up homie," Cell said back.
"You'z trashin on my pop and my bros out here. I can't allow you to do that anymore,"
"You'z talking to me? You'z talking to ME?" The green thing said.
"Yea, but you ain't pissed me off yet, I'm gonna wait until you make me mad, then I'll kill you with a flourish and suspense,"
"Try it b-" Cell was cut off by android sixteen.
"Oh shit," 16 said, and suddenly blew up.
"What's wrong with him?" Krillian said, kicking the rolling head of the android towards the mountains.
"Who knows," Trunks said, making sure his hair was just right, "He's just a stupid robot."
Gohan turned and angry eye at Cell. The other eye he kept happy, because he's always happy. "You just killed my friend," He said with a growl.
"I didn't do it!" Cell yelled, and hid behind a pillar, "It was Vegeta! He's the one who did it!"
"What!" Vegeta yelled, "Cell! You have mocked my Saiyan ancestry, tricked me in battle, but this time you've gone to far! You will pay the ultimate prince for… Uhhh… You will pay the ultimate…" Vegeta scowled and pulled out a piece of paper.
"You wrote it down!" Trunks gourped.
"It's a long speech!" Vegeta scrosseled.
The Saiyan read through the speech, "Gasoline? You will pay the ultimate price for gasoline?" He said confused, "Aww, screw it!" He flung himself at Cell and fired off thousands of blasts that did no apparent harm to the creature.
"Hold on Vegeta!" Gohan yelled, "Something's not right."
"What now!"
"Well, I was just reviewing the script which we are so diligently following, and I'm supposed to get mad and transform by now."
"Sooo…"
"So, I haven't!"
"Well," Yhamcha said, "I guess I'll have to do it then."
The human began to flex and yell, but out of the blue a meteorite smashed him into the ground.
"Is it just me, or are these stories just getting more and more random?" Tien asked.
"So, how am I supposed to die now?" Cell asked.
They all looked at me.
What! I don't have any idea how to do it! I protest.
"Uhhhh," Piccolo said as he thought, "Hey! Gohan! Cell wants to steal your candy!"
"WHAT!" Gohan yelled, turning to the android, "You little bitch!" Gohan flared up into Super Saiyan Two, "I'll kill you! Kamehameha!"
"Yea!" Kakarot yelled, "That's it, give him the old Kamehameha times infinity plus one, Gohan!"
Tien turned to Krillian, "Ya know, we never get to do anything half as cool."
"Yea, but we also stay alive longer," Krillian pointed out.
"Oh yea…"
