Gaarufurendo

Chapter 2: Guilt

Title means "Sweetheart, girl friend…"

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"Sam…"

Sam's head shot around in the darkness. The voice…He knew that voice. Where did that voice come from? It was haunting; it caused a shiver to go down his spine. He couldn't recall the name though. It was someone important…

A small seed fell at his feet. Sam stared at it, then picked it up. It was a sun flower, he recalled a smiling face as bright as the sun. Who was it? He didn't remember. Suddenly he remembered Jessica.

"JESSICA!" He shouted, holding the sunflower seed tightly in his hand. "JESS!"

"Your too late…" The haunting voice of Jess said. "you could have saved me…"

"I'm- I'm sorry! I should have!"

"You let me die Sam!"

"JESS! I'M SORRY!"

"Your too late…"

"JESS!"

"Too late!"

Suddenly the darkness cleared out, and Sam found himself inside his home near the college. His heart fell. He knew what was happening.

"JESSICA!"

"Too late!"

"JESS!"

Sam raced through the familiar maze and found his way to their room. There was Jess on the ceiling, her face was twisted in laughter.

"Too late!" She cackled.

"JESS!" Sam fought the flames.

"TOO LATE!" The voice turned deep and he looked up and found Dean.

"Wha? DEAN?"

"Wake up Sam…"

"JESS!"

"Wake up Sam…"

Sam pushed up with a start. He glanced around the car and gave a heart shattering sigh. It was a dream…a nightmare.

Dean looked over from the driver's seat. It had been a good week since Jessica's Death. Sam was gaining little sleep; he didn't like it at all. It started out with a slight twitching, then moved on to moaning, then the final stage, screaming out someone's name. Lately it had been his.

Sam shook the cobwebs out of his mind and turned to Dean. "Sorry Dean! Must have had another dream…"

"Nightmare Sam!" Dean corrected. "Man you need to get past this feeling sorry for yourself…" He shoved a bag of cheetos into his brother's hand without taking his eyes off the road. "Here got it at the last gas station. Figure you might be hungry when you woke up…"

"I'm not hungry Dean…"

"DAMIT SAM! You haven't eaten in two days." Dean hissed. "Either you're going to eat it on your own, or I'll have to pull over and shove the food in your throat."

"Ha ha! Thanks a lot mother but I can eat when I feel like it." Sam laughed. Dean could be a mother hen sometimes.

"No because when you feel like eating is in a month…and you'll be dead by then…"

"I'm not hungry for something so greasy, there how about that wording." Sam said.

"Fine then we'll stop by a restaurant or something…" Dean said turning into another lane.

"But we hardly have enough for a hotel room!" Sam said.

"Then we have a date at the bar!"

Sam groaned. "Not again…"

"IF you want you can read your dumb little books while I go make a living!" Dean said mad that Sam was booing his plan.

"Make a living?"

"Well maybe not the right words but…"

"Yeah I get what you're saying…"

Dean gave a sigh. "I know you don't like the fact that I do this, but what are we supposed to do work at Walmart?"

"No…" Sam said. He stared out the window taking in the sights. Her face haunted him. Damn why did he see Jessica's face everywhere? Was this some type of curse? It made him feel guilty that he didn't save her.

"Dude quit blaming yourself…you couldn't have done anything to save her!" Dean said.

"Yes I could have…and I ignored them…how could I ignore them…" Sam said in a small voice.

"Ignore what?"

Sam realized what he was saying and cleared his throat. "Oh! Um…nothing…"

"Spit it out little man!" Dean said.

"Dean…" Sam sighed regretting the fact that he said that.

"Don't whine at me! You're the one who started this interesting conversation…" Dean said. "Now spill it…"

"Dean…how am I supposed to explain to you what I don't even understand?" Sam asked turning away.

"That wont kill the matter, this subject will be brought up again!" Dean said wagging a finger.

"Yes mom!" Sam laughed.

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Sam began to type on the lab top. It was three-o-clock in the morning and Dean was snoring away mumbling about Rachel. Sam didn't want to know what they were doing…

He typed in the keyword at google, "Dream meanings." And pressed enter. He looked around and found the word "Death."

"'To see someone dead die in your dream means that you feel guilty about something…them in particular. To see someone undead in your dream die means that you worry for their safety and want to keep them around." (A/N: not real made it up! )

Sam thought. He guessed it must make sence. He lost mom…dad was missing…Jess died…now all he had was Dean.

He smiled and turned to look at his brother. Maybe he felt remorse for Jessica's death, but he also should be appreciative of what he had. Love…maybe not in the way he wanted…but it was better than nothing.

(A/N: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! A review suggested that I do another chapter so I says to myself "What the hell! Why shouldn't I?")