Waking Dreams
A/N: Done a bit of research (read: watched 'Shattered' on channel four, which is basically Big Brother but every time the contestants fall asleep £1000 is taken off the prize money) I've learnt a bit more about the side affects of sleep deprivation. These include hallucinations, increased libido, lethargy, introspectiveness, memory problems, paranoia, irritability loss of time perception, increased reaction time, and an inability to communicate. All of these symptoms can begin to occur with fifty hours since the last sleep. I didn't know it happened so fast either. Helps the continuity of this fic though!
Nagi woke in Rammi's arms. Not for the first time, but there was never anything more to it than there would be a child joining their parents in bed after a nightmare. It was like having an older brother, Nagi had decided. Now Farfarello was trapped in the labs Rammi was shifting back to his old ways, turning up everywhere Nagi looked.
He was twitching in his sleep now, and Nagi watched with mild interest.
You told me I could have his body
* I told you I could help. *
You're helping him.
* I'm earning his trust again. You're not the only one with an agenda here. Remember, you're here on my grace. *
You couldn't make me leave, boy.
* Don't underestimate my power. *
I know your mother. If you've inherited her strength I'm surprise you can read facial expressions, let alone emotions.
*You forget, I was born with no gift. I'm a leech. I have the power of whoever I take it from. And he was powerful. *
Was?
* Yes, 'was'. You don't think I'd share, do you? *
Do you kill? Is that your method?
* No. But it's fun. *
I can't disagree with that. Remember that.
* Is that a threat? *
Perhaps. If I can't have the boy, I'll take you. I'm older, wiser, and more powerful than you. I'm closer to telepath than you.
"Rammi?" The Indian boy blinked grit from his eyes and tried to focus on a nose too close to his own to see clearly. "You were having a nightmare."
"Was not," Rammi growled defensively.
Nagi smiled. "You don't have to do that with me," he said softly. "After all, nightmares are why I'm here."
Rammi considered for a second. "I just didn't want you to think I was... weak," he lied. "I'm supposed to be protecting you from your nightmares, and here I am having my own."
The brief flicker on Nagi's face told Rammi that not only had Nagi believed the lie, but he'd even had to swallow back the doubt Rammi had been claiming he was trying to prevent causing. Strange kid, Rammi though, and ruffled his hair.
"I should get ready for classes," Nagi said with childish reluctance, clearly with no intention of doing as he suggested. He pouted.
Rammi chuckled and Nagi's petulance. "Yes, you should," Rammi told him. "You don't want to attract Hertz's attention."
Hertz!!
Rammi flinched suddenly, one hand going to his forehead, gasping slightly. Nagi jumped.
"What just..." Nagi stared at him through large frightened eyes.
"Headache," Rammi lied desperately. "You know, as I sat up. Probably a bit of a hangover, or maybe weather. Yeah, weather. I'm sensitive to the pressure like that."
Nagi sighed, sitting up and pulling away. "You looked like someone punched you between the eyes. I knew I couldn't trust you," he said quietly, "but I at least thought you would be straight with me."
"I am!" Rammi objected crossly. "What reason, I pray you, would you have preferred to hear?"
A look of introspection etched itself on Nagi's young face. Rammi hated to see the boy looking so old.
"A telepath," Nagi said eventually. "An angry one."
"No, it wasn't Schuldig," Rammi snapped tiredly. He was growing to hate his fellow student with a vehemence previously reserved only for Hertz and Greg May. "It was just a headache, okay? Now, you have to get ready for lessons. So do I, in fact."
Rammi was disturbed at how close Nagi had come to guessing the truth there, or a semblance of. On the other hand, it was even more disturbing that it had happened at all. It shouldn't have, not while he was awake. Maybe he was starting to suffer from sleep deprivation? The irony almost made him laugh, but it wasn't that funny. He hadn't been getting as much sleep as he was used to recently. And even if it wasn't that, the idea that his control was slipping was truly disturbing. Suppose he were to lose control of his gift? Not the telempathy. Who knew what he'd pick up if he weren't concentrating? He didn't want to be a mere smoky pyrokinetic or weak healer.
"Don't want to go to lessons," Nagi whined playfully. Rammi laughed, shaking away his anxieties. Both of them knew Nagi was putting it on for Rammi's sake, but Rammi couldn't help but be warmed by Nagi's childishness. It had more than a little to do with the fact that Nagi wasn't in any way childlike, so these moments of mischievousness helped make Rammi a little more comfortable with the normally solemn boy. Unfortunately, thinking of Nagi as a child, someone to protect, almost a younger brother, made keeping certain promises that bit harder for Rammi.
"You have to," Rammi told him, tickling his waist and making Nagi squirm. "Got to be a good little psychic."
"You don't go to lessons," Nagi blinked owlishly at his friend, the creases in the corners of his eyes betraying his amusement. Rammi realised with a swallow that Nagi found Rammi's behaviour immature and entertaining, and believed the charade. Partly, Rammi reminded himself, because it wasn't a charade. This was a real side to Rammi. No one had made him grow up in the way they had Nagi. His mother still spoilt him like she had the chocolate-eyed boy proud of his collection of fly wings.
"I have friends in high places," Rammi told Nagi. One day Nagi would get tired of the evasion, but he hadn't questioned it yet. "Plus, I'm third year. Not got a great deal to do." He tipped Nagi out of the bunk. Nagi fell towards the floor but stopped a few inches above, drifting the last handful of centimetres. Rammi watched him calmly. Not a lot of telekinetics could influence themselves.
Nagi sighed. "I hate this place," he told Rammi, all trace of child gone.
"We all do, Nagi," Rammi held his gaze. "It's just that for most of us the only alternatives are even worse."
"I hadn't thought of it that way," Nagi admitted. "I suppose it's the same for me. I couldn't... I'd never survive," he trailed off. "I hate that I belong here."
"Those of us that truly belong here don't feel that way," Rammi said softly. "That's how you can tell that Crawford was born for this place. You... you're suited to Rosenkreuz, but you don't belong here."
"That's almost comforting," Nagi said wryly.
"In the desert there is no sign that says 'thou shalt not eat stones'," Rammi murmured as Nagi departed to his lessons. Nagi didn't hear him, but someone else did.
Wish I had some bloody stones. I could pound some sense into you.
* Oh, shut up * Rammi snapped irritably.
* * *
Schuldig wanted to be angry, but he wasn't sure he could summon the enthusiasm. Crawford was still asleep against the wall, though he was up to his chest in water. It wasn't vulnerability that made Schuldig hesitate. It was the sheer fragility. Another hour or so and Brad would be dead. That was it. No more Brad. Oh, maybe his gift would wake up him with a vision of him impending doom, but he was still chained to the wall. No more Brad. Poof. Gone. Out with a whimper, not with a bang.
Schuldig turned off the hose and nudged the cover off of a drain in the middle of the floor. The water drained away quickly and as a chill began to settled Brad woke up. He shivered where he sat and watched as the last of the water trickled away. It scared him how close he had come to death, and how little he cared.
"Don't suppose you know when Nagi left?" Schuldig asked softly.
"You lose your sense of time, when you haven't had enough sleep," Brad yawned. He looked at Schuldig. "It wasn't his fault."
"Oh?"
"Something... happened." Brad flinched at the memory. Schuldig studied him and decided not to push the issue. "So, now what? What possible torture could you have left?"
"You remember how Hertz took the text away?" Schuldig asked gently.
Hope kindled in Brad's eyes. "Has he order you to..." he trailed off as an odd grin spread across Schuldig's face.
"Nagi just told me, between classes, that he finished scanning in the texts just before that," Schuldig told him. "You mean nothing to anyone here any more."
"That's not true," Brad contradicted him sharply. "You hate me, which means I mean something."
Schuldig laughed bitterly. "Do you know what happens to people I hate?" He let it sink in. "Goodnight, Bradley Crawford. Goodnight and goodbye."
And with that, he left.
