The Great Saiyaman blocked the bullets with his palm and moved in on the bank robber.
"Now you will suffer the wrath of my 'Dramatic pause kick!'" Gohan kicked the robber in the stomach, the whole scene pausing as his foot made contact.
"Ha ha!" He yelled, "Evil succumbs to my power!"
"'Dramatic pause kick?'" Videl asked.
"Now!" Gohan yelled, "Fare well all you citizens! I am off!"
Gohan took off in the air, flying at top speed back to Orange Star High School. (1) He landed on the rooftop and got to class just seconds before Videl returned.
"Ug!" She whispered to her friends, "I just can't seem to figure out who this Saiyafreak is!"
Well, that's not very nice, Gohan thought, and was just about to point this out, when Videls watch rang.
"Another robbery?" Gohan asked.
"No, just a reminder that I need to tape 'law and order' tonight," She said, and turned off the alarm.
Before her hand was off her watch, it rang again.
"Yea chief?"
"The bank on west and commonwealth is being robbed! Please help!"
Time Passes...
Gohan flew above the city, following Videls' chopper by a discrete distance.
The robbery was simple, three guys with nunchucku's. Videl and GSM took them out with ease. The press, who happened to be right there, asked questions, and then the Chief of police ran up.
"Videl" he yelled, "Another robbery!"
They both took this one out, for the robbers seemed pretty stupid. (2) Seconds later, the Chief came up again.
"Another one!"
All of them were taken out, and Gohan sat down on the curb after this one.
"Gees, how many bank robberies can one town have?"
A passer by gave him a response, "Well, we really don't have any one with normal jobs. Everyone here is either a robber or a bank teller. No one has any other job, as you can see by this street for example."
The man pointed and Gohan looked down the street. Bank, abandon warehouse, bank, abandon warehouse, bank, abandon warehouse, bank, abandon warehouse, bank, abandon warehouse, bank, abandon warehouse, bank, abandon warehouse, bank, and one more abandon warehouse.
This is such a stupid town! Gohan thought. (3)
"Op! Speaking of which, that bank is being robbed right now!" The man said pointing.
Saiyaman immediately ran to the rescue, but when he got inside, his jaw dropped with shock. That dudes flying!
"Hey!" Gohan yelled, "How can you fly?"
"Well," The man said, "I'm simply a super strong human who could rule the universe if I wanted to, but decided it would be more fun to simple rob banks and make a little money from it. I have chosen to never show myself until this moment to make the DBZ timeline just that much more dramatic."
"Oh, okay. I assume this means we're going to have to fight?"
"Yea, again, just because this cartoon is based on fighting and macho ness,"
"Cool," Gohan jumped down into a fighting stance, then looked down at himself, "Ah! What happened? I look like crap!"
Gohan had once been three-d, and his muscles were in perfect form, but now he was two-d and completely messed up.
"Oh that," the currently unnamed human said, "We just switched over to a new artist. They always use a good artist right up until someone starts to fight, then switch over to a bad one."
"My bicep is on the back of my arm!" Gohan said, twisting around to look at his arm. (I will never forgive DBZ for taking a bad artist and having him draw Vegeta's sacrifice during the Buu saga, or having all of Kakarots fights with kid Buu have good artists, and have Vegeta get a bad one. Grrrr!)
"Shall we fight?" The human asked.
"Sure," Gohan resumed his stance, "But just to make it easier for Brad, what's your name?"
"Joe."
"Joe? That's not a great name for a villain!"(4)
"Just go with it!"
Gohan flew in at Joe and threw a flurry of punches that Joe blocked all of. Joe then went on the counter attack, knocking Gohan back through a whole mess of skyscraper basements, knocking them all down.
With a dramatic flourish of power, Gohan raised from the pile of rubble, several pieces of stone and steel floating with him. His eyes were an aqua green and his hair stood in several short spikes that waved with the sudden wind. This looks so cool! Gohan thought, looking to the side and giving the fan operators a thumb up. They smiled back and rolled the fan away, not wanting to stick around.
"You are mine!" Gohan yelled, and dove at his enemy, "I will crush your bones! I will tear out your heart! I will kill you! I will-"
Joe stepped forward and punched Gohan away, knocking down several more Skyscrapers in the process.
"Mesenko-ha!" Gohan fired his blast.
Joe blocked with one hand, then held up his other, "Some-stupid-attack-ha!" He yelled.
Gohan blocked the blast and held up both hands, "Rapid fire!"
Joe dipped and dodged to avoid the small balls of death, which rained down on the city instead. Skyscrapers toppled. Gohan stopped his attack, and Joe burst out of the dust, and high tailed it to the desert that just happen to be close by, Gohan chassed after him.
In the city, the dust began to clear, and several inhabitants looked up to see the place in ruins. Only one skyscraper had survived the onslaught. It stood pristine and beautiful in the afternoon light, and many took this as a sign from some god that they would be spared. Seconds later, Gohan and Joe flew back to the skyscraper and blasted its base, causing the whole thing to collapse. Satisfied that they had done as much damage to this city as possible, they nodded to each other and flew off to the desert.
Time Passes...
Gohan continued to fly into the dessert, now being chased by Joe, when he suddenly rammed into another flying being in the sky.
"Ouch! Vegeta! What are you doing here?" He asked, rubbing his head.
"Going to the city to buy new spandex," he said, rubbing his own scalp.
"Uh, the city is kind of destroyed," Gohan admitted.
"That's fine," Vegeta growled, "it saves me the trouble."
Joe flew up to them, and looked at Vegeta.
"You have weird hair," He pointed out.
"Shut up!" Vegeta blasted at the man. Joe took the blast head on, and wasn't even singed.
"Alright," Vegeta said, "You must be pretty strong. But I have a new attack. Watch this!"
Vegeta suddenly flew straight at Joe, and lowered his head. Joe was impaled on the black spikes of Vegeta's hair, and fell to the Earth, holding his stomach.
"What a cruel world!" He yelled.
"You're welcome," Vegeta said to Gohan. He was about to fly off when he heard something.
"The life I once had is now gone," Joe continued his death speech, "And now I am going to lie amongst the dessert creatures and come to terms with my existence. Is it fair that I die, with my end brought on by freakish hair, and know I could have ruled the world? How will I… Ach… Oh!" Joe fell face forward.
"About time," Vegeta said.
"And life," Joe continued, "Was it not a gift I have squandered? Am I now never to hear the birds sing-"
"Oh shut up!" Vegeta yelled, "Most of the villains just yell when they die! Short and sweet! Just yell and be over with it!"
"Very well," Joe said, "Ahh." He died.
"Where do these people come from?" Gohan asked.
"Who knows. (5) Let's go and tell Videl all of your secrets."
"Sure!"
Lot's of footnotes. At the very end of this, I got an awesome idea for a story, but it will have to wait until later, because it is late, and I must go out and boogie. (6)
1) Nothing really, just a number in the middle of two brackets.
2) They were armed with garden hoses.
3) It seems ever G/V story I read has at least seven robberies in it. Just a little cliché destruction.
4) I am all for new villain names, let me know of a few.
5) I don't even know.
6) Just another stupid footnote.
