thank you again for the feedback so far. you're wonderful. :)

pretty small update, I'll have more posted soon!

Chapter 5

Addison eventually recovered from her "episode", as she liked to call it, and was ready to get back to work. Having a bad day did not give her an excuse to forget about her top priority: her patients. She slowly eased herself off the floor, feeling a bit dizzy as she stood up. She was both emotionally and physically exhausted, but still had a full day of work ahead of her.

She managed to make her way down the hall, and caught a glimpse of her reflection in one of the windows. "Oh…nice. Very nice." She mumbled sarcastically.

"Uh, Dr. Shepherd?" George O'Malley called from behind. Addison pretended not to hear him, but it was no use. "Dr. Shepherd!" he ran to catch up with her.

"Can I help you, Dr. O'Malley?" Addison whirled around to face the young intern. She noticed his expression change as he saw her face. "What. Is there something on my face?"

"Oh…uh….well, no. I mean, maybe." It was obvious that George was very anxious. He always seemed to be anxious around her though, so this was nothing new.

"Listen O'Malley. Sometimes women have nervous breakdowns. It's what we do." she stared him down, knowing it would scare the poor kid. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"No, sir. I mean m'am. I mean," he shook his head, "one of your patients has been asking for you." he finally addressed the point.

"Do you know the patient's name…" she had very little patience.

"Oh, right." George quickly responded with the patient's name and room number. He literally ran away as soon as he was finished speaking.

Addison quickly headed over to the nearest bathroom to wash off her face and make herself look as perfect as possible before being thrown back into the busy life of a surgeon. She figured that if she were to convince patients that she was the best, she needed to look the part… even if she was feeling her worst.

She raced through the halls, going from room to room. Her day had become so hectic that she had actually forgotten about how terrible her morning had been. Unfortunately, as soon as she realized that she had to go check on Helen Boyd, the day seemed to slow down once again. She approached her patient's room and simply stood outside the door pretending to read through her chart.

"Dr. Shepherd." Dr. Preston Burke walked past.

"Dr. Burke." she responded.

A few minutes later Dr. Burke walked by once again, giving Addison a rather strange look.

She looked the other way, pretending not to notice him.

"Dr. Shepherd." he spoke once again.

"Hey, I didn't see you there! How are you?" She was definitely acting a little bit 'off'.

"I'm fine…yourself…" he seemed perplexed, and rightfully so.

"Good. I'm doing good." she nodded her head.

"Have a nice afternoon."

"Yep, you too." She was a bit embarrassed, but tried not show it.

'Okay On the count of 3 I'm going in.' Addison told herself. "One…two…"

"Oh just check on your damn patient already!" Dr. Bailey shouted as she passed by.

"I was just reading her chart, Miranda! Can't a doctor read up on her patient in peace! …" she realized Dr. Bailey could care less what she was saying. 'Alright. You've reached the point where you've become pathetic. Addison Montgomery Shepherd does not even know the word pathetic, let alone allow herself to characterize herself with it. Go in the room.' She finally convinced herself.

"Mrs. Boyd…" she slowly entered, making sure her patient was not sleeping. "I'm just um, checking up on you... seeing how you're feeling. Dr. Stevens will be coming by shortly to run a few quick tests."

"I'm fine." Helen snapped back.

"Do you feel any pain, headache, nausea…" Addison continued to list a variety of different symptoms.

"Yes, but it's not because of the surgery."

"Mrs. Boyd, I've already told you how terribly sorry I am for what happened this morning, so I'm not going to say it again. If I could change anything, I would. Believe me. But I did everything that I could do, and you're just going to have to accept that." she paused, "However, I am still your doctor, and I do care about you whether or not you choose to believe that. So if you need anything at all, don't hesitate to get a nurse to page one of my interns." she said, using the wit that only she could pull off.