It was around three in the morning at Capsule Corporation. All lights were out save one, the one in Bulma's lab.
Almost there! Just place this thingamagigger in this whatsit, and... Bingo! Bulma stood up and looked at the machine she had been sweating over. It stood seven feet tall, and had two coffin size compartments standing side by side, each with one open side.
Cloning! Who would have thought it would be this simple! Just play "Chopsticks," and run the object through a household microwave, and voila! Bulma pulled out her test subject, a copy of "War and Peace" and placed it in one compartment. Reaching inside, she pressed the big red button marked, "Do not push, this means you!" and swiftly drew her hand back. She had set the trigger to have a five second delay so half an arm wouldn't be cloned, but she didn't want to chance it.
The machine glowed slightly and the ever-annoying music played. Note to self. Wear earplugs when testing more. With a flash of light that had been added in to the machine just for dramatic affect, a second copy of "War and Peace" appeared in the second compartment. "Alright!" She cheered and picked up the second book, "I'll just glance inside and make sure it's all correct..." She skimmed through the pages and stopped after a second, "I really don't know if it's correct," She admitted to empty air, "I've never read the book..." Bulma walked away from the device and headed to bed.
Seconds later, Kakarot popped into the room.
"I thought I sensed Bulma here," He muttered, glancing around to confirm the he was alone in the room, "Oh well, this just gives me a chance to play with her stuff!"
And thus, Kakarot began to play. He walked after a small vacuum cleaner that sensed where dirt was and stomped behind the robot, making it turn around to sweep up the dirt on his shoe. Then he did it again behind the robot.
"You missed a spot!" Kakarot taunted, pointing to a spot on the other side of the room the robot had yet to reach. The robot turned a red eye on Kakarot and tried to vacuum him up. Powering up to Super Saiyan 3, Kakarot kicked the tin sweeper to bits.
Kakarot clapped his hands and looked around for something else to play with. His gaze fell on the cloning machine. It stood shining in the light, sparkles danced along the metal, and heavenly music played. Kakarot reached over and hit the stop button on a tape player, wondering why Bulma had a tape that played heavenly music.
"That seems to be the obvious choice!" He grinned and walked up to the Cloning machine, "I wonder what it does?"
He looked at the simple instructions and read them out loud, "Place object in left chamber, and then press button. After words, bingo!"
"Bingo? Is this some type of game! I love games!" After a short search to find an object, Kakarot decided to use himself. He turned around and ran into the left hand compartment, "Wait, I thought I couldn't read?" He muttered, and then pressed the button.
He felt a tingling sensation that he normal only felt when Chichi wanted alone time, and some elevator music started to play. Then it was over. Kakarot looked around, looked at himself, and nothing had changed. "Must not be finished," He said and walked out of the lab.
In the second chamber, a small tentative voice called out, "Hello?"
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Kakarot arrived home and emptied out the fridge for a midnight snack. He needed to eat at least twice a night in order to hold him out until breakfast. After several minutes of gluttony, he wandered up to bed.
Kakarot glanced out of the right hand compartment, wondering how he had arrived here. Must have used Instantaneous Movement in my sleep again... He got out of the pod and looked around, seeing the second pod. He glanced at the instructions on the side, "Place object in right chamber and press button. After words, bingo!"
"Oh boy!" Kakarot said, "A game! I love games!"
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Kakarot woke up in bed, and stretched. He had fallen asleep right after his snack and didn't even eat again. So in other words, he was hungry. He turned to his wife.
"Hey Chi- Ach!" They were not alone. Dozens of other Kakarots littered the floor and unused portions of the bed. All of them had managed to cram into the small bedroom.
"What is it Goku?" Chichi murmured in her sleep.
"Nothing! Uh, just go to sleep, I'll take care of the boys this morning."
She simply sighed in content and fell asleep again. Kakarot leaned over and pulled out a pair of earplugs that had been rated to stop the sounds of even the planet exploding around the wearer. He stuck them in her ear and let out a sigh, knowing she would never wake up.
"Who the hell are all of you!" He yelled out, startling all of the other Kakarots sleeping, "Where did you all come from!"
They all gave him a blank look then simultaneously placed there hands on the back of there necks and grinned, "I have no idea!' They all echoed. The original Kakarot had a mix of fascination and horror on his face.
"Well!" Original Kakarot said, "I don't know either!" Chichi stirred in her sleep, "We need to get out of here, let's go!" All of the others shrugged and followed the Original.
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They landed fifty miles from the house and sat on top of a mountain. Kakarot quickly counted all of the other Kakarots and tallied up forty-seven. O. Kakarot suddenly perked up in realization, "Hey! I can count, too! I like this story!"
"Alright!" He yelled, getting everyone's attention, and placing a Generals cap on and holding a pointer in one hand, "We are in trouble. Somehow, we have multiplied several times, and we don't know how. All I remember is playing a game in Bulma's lab, is that what everyone else did?"
All of the other Kakarots nodded in unison, creating a rather scary image. Kakarot the Original continued to pace, "We can't all be here, because Chichi would get pissed and hit us with the Spatula of Doom!" All of the others nodded and held their heads in remembrance, "So we have to find a way to get rid of forty six of you other Goku's in a way that well be okay."
"Forty seven," One corrected.
"No, if we got rid of forty seven, then no one would be left, and we need to keep at least one."
"No, when I left the lab last night, I saw another Goku flying off in another direction. I'm sure it would have clicked that I was supposed to be the only one-" Several wanted to protest that they were supposed to be the only one, but the one speaking cut them off, "-But I was too hungry to think. Speaking of which, who emptied out the fridge! That jerk owes me some food! I'm starved!"
"I saw one leaving in another direction as well," One said.
"Is saw a couple of them go north,"
"I saw five leave in a group, all of them were chatting and laughing,"
"You mean there are more of you!" O. Kakarot cried out, "How are we going to get rid of all of you!" He yelled.
"Hey!" one in the back called out, "What do you mean, "Get rid of"? I happen to like life here! I'm not going to die just because you want to be the only one!"
"What are you going to do about it?" Kakarot uno said, "You'd better fall in line, or I'll get you!"
"Oh yea!" All of the Kakarots yelled, "You may be the original, but we have all your strength, and we'll just gang up on you!" Suddenly Original Kakarot noticed he was a little out numbered.
"Forget this," The one who had started the whole revolt said, "I'm going to find some food, and then spar!"
The rest mumbled agreeance and walked away.
The original Kakarot stood alone on the hill, "I am so screwed."
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Vegeta walked out of the Gravity room covered in sweat. He was not in a good mood (what else is new) and he looked ready to kill someone.
"Hey Vegeta!" Kakarot said as he passed the other Saiyan in the hall.
"Morning," Vegeta grumbled. He turned to the door and keyed in his personal code so Kakarot couldn't use it to make himself stronger. He turned around and saw Kakarot walk by him in the hall again.
"Hey Vegeta!"
"Shut up, you stupid moron."
He turned around and saw Kakarot had moved behind him as well.
"Hey Vegeta!"
"I told you to shut up!" Vegeta snarled, "Now get out of here!" He pushed past the saddened Kakarot and walked down the hall, leaving the two clones to simply shrug at the Princes odd behavior.
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Chichi walked into the kitchen and saw her husband rummaging through the fridge.
"Morning Goku," She said, and grabbed a cup of coffee.
"Morning Chichi!" He said, "Uh, we're out of food..."
"I'll make a run into the store later on, okay?"
"Okay!"
Chichi walked into the small living room and turned the TV to the news.
"Hey, Chichi?" Kakarot said from the doorway, "We're out of food."
"Yes, you told me already. I'll get some later on."
"Oh, Okay!"
Kakarots head disappeared, only to reappear.
"Hey, Chichi?" Kakarot said, "We're out of food."
"I know!" She shouted, then pulled out her cookie cutter of doom and hit him on the head with it, "I'll get the food when I go shopping! Now be quiet and go out while I watch the news!"
Kakarot walked back into the kitchen and grabbed a clone that was walking towards the living room. "Better not," he said, "She's in a mood."
All the other Kakarots in the room nodded in understanding. It must be that time of month.
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Piccolo sat on the lookout, not meditating. (Did you survive the shock of that surprise? I hope you will not be permanently damaged, and I am sorry for any injuries that statement may have caused.) He was watching Dende give an impromptu performance on the trumpet.
SSSSqqqquuuuueeeeeeMMwwwaaAAAAAAAABBllllLLLLAAAAaaaAAYYYYYyyyyy.
What in the hell did I do to deserve this? He asked.
"Tried to take over the world," Dende stopped playing to answer, "Tried to blow up said world, blew up moon, tried to kill Goku, killed Goku, fused with Kami, and made me give up my childhood to be a guardian of a doomed planet, and crushed my last trumpet."
At least he's not playing anymore, Piccolo thought.
"And just for that thought, I will now continue..."
"Goku's coming!" Piccolo yelled out, relieved to have any form of interruption, and skipped to the end of the lookout.
"I skip?" He asked me.
Yes you do.
Piccolo shrugged and skipped to the edge of the platform, where Kakarot just landed.
"Why are you skipping?" he asked.
Piccolo was tired of Kakarots visit already, "What do you want?"
"I have a problem. I think I cloned myself last night, and my clones made clones of me."
"Don't listen to him!" A voice behind Piccolo yelled, "He's an imposter!"
Piccolo turned to see a second Kakarot land on the lookout.
"I am not!" the first yelled out, "you'd better shut your mouth, or I'll shut it for you!"
Both Kakarots leaped at each other's throats.
Now, before we get into this entirely cliché fight, I have just realized it is going to be very confusing to write out. But this heroic author will try.
Kakarot grabbed Kakarots gi and threw him to the other side of the lookout, where Kakarot sprang to the other and punched him in the face. Kakarot kneed the other in the stomach, then Kakarot kicked Kakarot in the side and Kakarot punched Kakarot in the gut.
One badly beaten Kakarot finally stopped and turned to the unscathed Kakarot, "You know, he could have at least called us one and two. Cause I'm Kakarot, and so are you, but you take all the attacking Kakarot roles so I keep getting the crap beat out of me!"
"You're just sore because I thought of it first," Kakarot said, sticking out his tongue.
"Enough!" A thoroughly confused Piccolo shouted, "What are we going to do?"
"I don't know, I'm the original, so they should all just listen to me!"
"Hey!"
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Vegeta blocked the punch from Kakarot and returned the blow, knocking the other Saiyan back into a mountain. He smirked and crossed his arms, waiting for the clown to emerge from the rubble. Suddenly he was slammed into from the left. He pivoted in air and saw Kakarot grinning at him, not even having a bruise on him.
Bastard! Vegeta knocked Kakarot back into the ground, and then was hit from behind. He turned and blasted Kakarot and was hit from above.
Kakarot landed next to Kakarot and grinned, "This is fun!"
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Piccolo quickly called over a telepathic link for all the z-warriors to meet at the lookout. Naturally, all the Kakarots did too. So, on a very crowded lookout, Krillian tried desperately not to be stepped on, and Piccolo called everyone to order.
"We need a solution to this mess! But we can't just kill off the extra Goku's. Does any one have a plan?"
"I believe I can provide an answer," a voice said.
Piccolo turned to see the supreme Kia standing beside Kabito.
"What do you suggest?" Piccolo asked.
Instead of saying anything, the Kia walked up to two Kakarots and placed his earrings on them. The two became one. He looked just like Kakarot, only his ki was higher. The supreme Kia took one earring off the newcomer, and put them on another Kakarot.
Soon, all Kakarots became one. The only one who didn't like the solution was Vegeta, because Kakarot was a billion times stronger now from the fusions, and he was left behind again.
He walked away, muttering about someone named Brad betraying him.
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I don't think I've even written, "Kakarot" more times in my life. And I didn't betray Vegeta; he went home and did the same thing. Now, a never before done feature... Alternate ending!
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Piccolo quickly called over a telepathic link for all the z-warriors to meet at the lookout. Naturally, all the Kakarots did too. So, on a very crowded lookout, Krillian tried desperately not to be stepped on, and Piccolo called everyone to order.
"We need a solution to this mess! But we can't just kill off the extra Goku's. Does any one have a plan?"
"Oh my god! It's Goku!"
Everyone turned around to see a teenage girl climb over the lip of the lookout and latched onto the nearest Kakarot. She looked up at the tall Saiyan with hearts in her eyes.
"Ouch!" She reached up and pulled a paper heart out of her eye, "You're my hero! Will you marry me?"
"That's it!" Krillian yelled, "Piccolo, I need to use a telepathic link!"
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A few hours later, the whole z-clan stood in the middle of the mall, yelling at the top of their lungs, "Goku's! Get you Goku's! Only $59.99! Limited supplies!"
The mall was packed with teenage girls, all having been called by Krillian. Money was being thrust at the fighters as girls walked off with their Kakarots, finally being able to marry the man of their dreams.
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Hey, I was just thinking. I love to do these humor stories, but I can also do serious ones. I might start a second short story saga with all serious stories in them, mostly agnst. Let me know if you want it! Oh yea, I've just started counting in order to separate my segments (As you've most likely noticed.)
