Elizabeth walked into the Infirmary, with Zelenka at her side. The team were being given a medical check after getting back from their failed mission. Elizabeth almost expected to hear Carson's soft brogue delivering his usual lecture, but of course, he wasn't there.
Instead, one of the other doctors was having to deal with Sheppard and the others. John was sitting up on one of the beds, squinting as the doctor shone the penlight into his eyes.
"If you stopped squinting, Colonel," the doctor said. "It would be much easier to check you over."
The doctor sighed, and Elizabeth hid a smile. Carson normally dealt with the more awkward patients on Atlantis himself. The other doctors generally tried to avoid dealing with John and Rodney in particular.
"Are you alright?" she asked as the doctor finished checking John over.
"I'm fine," he said. "I just had a slight argument with the central console. But you should see the state it's in."
Elizabeth obliged with a smile. "But you couldn't land on the planet?"
"There seemed to be a giant force field round it, stopping us from getting there," Lorne reported.
"I'm not really surprised," Elizabeth said. John gave her a questioning look.
"Radek found information on the planet in the Ancient's database," she responded to the look, turning to draw Radek forward.
"It seems that the Ancients had found problems with this planet. The put a marker on it in the database, like a warning beacon," Radek explained.
"What sort of warning?" John asked, feeling a sense of fear for both Rodney and Carson.
"We're still trying to translate it accurately," Elizabeth confirmed. "But it seems as if they faced the same problems as we did."
"How did they get their people off the planet?" Teyla asked.
Elizabeth turned and exchanged a glance with Radek. "They didn't," she replied.
OoOoO
Rodney scrambled over to Carson.
"Oh God, Carson," he said, his voice rising with fear. "Are you having a heart attack? Don't die on me. Elizabeth will kill me if you die. Think what Sheppard will say if you come back dead. Carson!"
Rodney suddenly realised the noise he heard from Carson had switched from groans to a gentle chuckle.
"Don't worry, Rodney," he said, gasping slightly as he spoke. "I'm not dead yet. It's not a heart attack. Just a punctured lung, I think."
"A punctured lung!" Rodney's voice went up an octave again. "But that can kill you. Dear God, Carson, do I need to do something? Do I need to stick a needle in you? But we don't have any needles. I can improvise. I can find something."
"Rodney," Carson said as soothingly as he could. "You don't need to do anything. I won't say I'm alright. That would be lying. But I'm not going to die on you. Not just yet. Help me to sit up."
Rodney gently helped Carson to sit up. The doctor sighed slightly as he made it upright. He wasn't lying to Rodney, but he wasn't quite as well as he had told Rodney. His broken ribs had obviously pierced his lung. The only good part about it was that it was just a minor tear, at present. However, if he wasn't careful, it could get worse. And then he would need urgent medical attention.
"Are you really going to be okay?" Rodney said, touching Carson's shoulder gently. It was almost as if he was scared that if he touched his friend, he would fall apart.
"Listen, Rodney," Carson replied. "A friend of mine at university punctured his lung when he was playing rugby. He played almost the whole of the second half before he came off. And he was a second row forward, so he was in the middle of things. Now he was a wee bit silly to do that, and he got a right rollicking from everyone. But if he can manage that, then I think I'll make it to the Stargate without dying on you."
"That might depend on what we encounter on the way," Rodney said, ominously.
"What do you mean?" Carson asked.
"Well, don't you think it odd all the things that have happened to us since we got here?" Rodney asked in response.
"We do seem to have had rather a lot of bad luck," Carson replied ruefully. "I feel abit like one of those rats they experiment on. They put them in a maze and they have to try to find their way out. But they keep blocking their path, and changing the maze."
"That's it!" Rodney said, snapping his fingers. "That's what's happening."
"What do you mean?" Carson asked again.
"We're in the middle of some kind of intelligence test," Rodney replied.
"A bloody dangerous one then," Carson responded.
"Just look at it," Rodney ignored him. "I ended up at the bottom of a cliff, when a bit of the said cliff gave way. That seemed like an accident, but was it? Then you encountered a man-eating goat, on a planet which had seemed devoid of wildlife just minutes earlier. We were then attacked by a flood, when there was no obvious water source nearby. And finally those birds appear like a bad version of a Hitchcock thriller."
"There does seem to be rather a lot of coincidences there," Carson admitted.
"And I find it hard to believe in that many coincidences unless they are man-made, or wraith-made or some-other-intelligent-being-made," Rodney replied.
"Some intelligent being with a very sick sense of humour," Carson said. "They aren't just experimenting. They're trying to bloody kill us."
"So what will get us out of here?" Rodney asked, half to himself, half to Carson.
"If we achieve our goal," Carson said promptly. "That's what happens with the rats. If they achieve their goal, they get a reward."
"And our goal is?" Rodney asked.
"To get to the Stargate," Carson said.
"So," Rodney said thoughtfully. "If we can make it to the Stargate, we might get to go home."
"It's worth a try," Carson said.
"Okay," Rodney said, clapping his hands together. "It might be a case of the cripple leading the infirm, but let's get going."
OoOoO
From somewhere above them, two eyes watched all they were doing, and two ears listened.
"Report, Observer," a voice said behind the being that was watching.
"They have established that this is an experiment, Lord Deviser," the Observer said.
"Interesting," the Lord Deviser said. "They are the first who have lived long enough to work that out. They must be very lucky, these beings."
"They are quite ingenious," the Observer said. "One is a medical doctor, and has dealt with their wounds; the other seems to have an enquiring mind, and is good a problem solving."
"Very interesting," the Lord Deviser said. "They might bear watching. What have you next planned to bar their way?"
"I thought opening one of the traps on their route to the Ring," the Observer said, slightly hesitantly. The Lord Deviser had the reputation of being unpredictable.
"Very good plan," the Lord Deviser answered. "It will be interesting to see how they cope with that, especially considering their injuries. It may well establish just how hardy this breed is. If they survive that, they may well be worth using for breeding purposes. Proceed, Observer."
