Reddwarfaddict – (waves hand in front of her) hellooooo? Oh darn it… not another one! cheers very much for reviewing.
Br1de-of-fr3ddy – :( oh dear… you missed saving Lister! What a shame… NOT Muahahaha! …sorry about that… read on my fluffy little friend! Lol :) Oh, and I just remembered, where's your fic dear? I really want to read it! Please put it up soon!
Sunrise over the Tango factory – ahh Piere, so very glad he's doing his job. Thankyou for the review and your lovely chatty emails, without which I probably would be living under a bridge by now warding off evil hats with a stick… I'm sorry; I honestly don't know where that came from!
Cazflibs – I can't tell you what happens - that would give away the whole plot, and frankly I don't know what the hell the plot is! So I'm afraid you'll have to wait and find out lol :)
Okay, I'm so bored and had school today … poor me… :( so here's another chappie, once again, sorry for the lack of goodness.
…….
…….
Pain. Bucket loads of it. Swimming pools of it. Ripping at his chest and writhing through his veins.
He didn't even have a chance to cry out. It felt like he'd just been hit by a hurtling heavy oak grand piano- all the breath was forced from his lungs, and he fell back painfully winded, in time to he hear several something's crack.
The last thing Lister saw was the smoke clearing. (well technically the last thing he saw as the inside of his own eyelids, but for the sake of my of my ever-typing fingers, which refuse to go back we'll just forget about that…) And he vaguely remembered seeing a bazookoid barrel catching the dim light. Someone's hand grasping the worn handle. And… he squinted… a face.
Rimmer's face.
…….
Rimmer squeezed his eyes shut; clutching tightly to the bazookoid as if it was one of his precious Hammond organ CDs.
He'd just shot the creature, he Arnold Judas Rimmer had just shot a creature. He'd just shot a creature and now it was lying a couple of paces away from where he was. But he hadn't had the courage to look at it yet.
Was it really dead?
He cracked open an eye, noticing with a pang that the creature wasn't moving anymore.
A wave of relief swept over him, as he came forward a little more for a closer look.
He soon wished he hadn't.
"Oh smeg!"
…….
Kryten heard the bazookoid fire and ran as fast his quirky legs could to the source. He knew he shouldn't have left them alone!
Anything could have happened!
He didn't expect the other ten robots to all come running as well. So he was at a bit of a loss to find himself wedged in between the corridor walls by a load of frantic mechanoids, many of which were hysterical and one of which who was stuck on a loop and couldn't stop singing 'Peter Andre – Mysterious girl' at his highest volume. The horror!
"Oh smeeee-!"
…….
Cat was having the greatest time! Not only had the vending machines on deck 9 gone totally crazy and deposited gigantic mounds of fish all over the floor, not only had he just designed his perfect outfit for eating featuring gold cufflinks, stripes and a gorgeous bow tie, not only that but there was no sign of goalpost head anywhere!
Strangely, he had a sudden urge to run down to the deck with the cherryade spillage wearing his swanky new outfit, but he couldn't be bothered. So he contented himself with a look in the mirror and a flashy grin.
…….
Rimmer practically dropped to his knees. There were no tears on his face, he couldn't cry. He was past crying. He pulled himself roughly over to the figure of his bunkmate. The figure of his bunkmate who he'd just shot in the chest.
"L-Lister?"
Rimmer fainted.
…….
Coming round a few minutes later, he found with a heavy weight in his stomach, that nothing had changed.
He shuffled over, clenching his hands with the sheer grief of the situation, and only just daring to look at the pale face. Lister was so still. The type of still your ten year old budgie Oswald was when he fell of his perch.
Rimmer clenched his eyes against the sight. The only sign Lister was still living was from the crimson blood slowly trickling from under his shirt and the uneven breathing dragging at his chest.
He had to do something! The blood was oozing onto the floor, reminding him with its steady drip, drip, that he didn't have long. That it was all his fault. He gritted his teeth, and looped a limb underneath Lister, and round his back. Bracing himself he heaved, but to no avail. The younger man was a dead weight. Either that or he'd eaten too much curry the previous night.
Rimmer could hardly dare to breathe.
What had he done?
Footsteps approached, but Rimmer couldn't hear them. What the smeg had he done? He sobbed, reaching out a hand to touch Lister's face, which was contorted with pain. Pain he had caused.
"Oh my! Sir! What happened?"
Rimmer looked up to see Kryten with a growing fear on his face. He stuttered, his mouth refusing point blank to obey him, "I…I…I-I-I-"
"Sir?"
"I-I-I-"
Another robot butted in, "Did the… creature do this to him sir?"
Rimmer's breath caught in his throat, "w-what?"
"Girl I wanna be with you! Oh oh! Wanna spend the night with you! Oh oh, just wanna be with the woman that I love! Woah oh oh oh oh! Mysterious girl I wanna get close to-"
"Did the creature do this to him sir?" Kryten demanded, butting the poor robot with its annoying loop out the way.
Realisation dawned, "Oh… oh yes! Yes it did - I got – I got here just in the nick of time!" Rimmer gulped, and proceeded to tell the group of robots an exaggerated tale of woe and deceit where Rimmer was the budding hero who kungfoo-ed the creature away and saved dear damsel-in-distress Lister's life. The words just tumbled out of his mouth, before he could even think.
"Thank you sir," Kryten whimpered, but said, sincerely, "I hate to think what would have happened if you hadn't been here." Kryten scooped Lister up like a limp doll, Rimmer's heart nearly stopped when he saw the spreading scarlet stain. He had to stop himself fainting again when he saw Lister's face. The coffee coloured eyes were open, but strangely glazed over and unseeing. He whispered something, something that sounded an awful lot like 'Rimmer' before his eyes wavered shut again against the pain.
Each of the robots expressed their gratitude to Rimmer before waddling off down to the medibay.
Rimmer gawped. They were thanking him! Thanking him for saving Lister's life when really he'd just shot him squarely in the chest with a mining firearm, causing near death and feeling better about himself when he did!
Kryten sobbed, half bowing to Rimmer, "Oh, what would he do without you sir?"
A bloody hell of a lot more things! Rimmer nearly shouted. But instead he just sat there watching helplessly as Kryten carried Lister off, quickly crowded by the other robots, fussing and crying and singing crap songs.
Rimmer's mouth hung open for the longest time.
What the smegging hell had he done?
…….
…….
Review please, I'm bored and I crave attention.
And if you happen to think at this moment, 'oh nothing bad's gonna happen if I don't review. To hell with reviewing!' then I suggest you reconsider before I set my loyal hat Gerald on you… and I can quite honestly say that you won't like that. Unless, of course, you enjoy prolonged games of scrabble…
