These are real horoscopes I pulled off the web.

Aries

3/21-4/19
You may find yourself in a financial bind. Driving too fast or double parking will result in difficulties with officials.

"But Piccolo and I were just having a friendly race! We didn't mean to wreck the driving school! Don't sue us!"

Taurus

4/20-5/20

Side-step encounters with moody types, especially in business. You and a co-worker may be on opposing wavelengths, but you will still make headway on the job.

Bulma sighed, regretting the day she hired Vegeta to work at Capsule Corporation.

Gemini

5/21-6/21

Get involved in fitness programs that will bring you in contact with new friends. Travel will be on your mind.

Vegeta sensed Goku just before he landed outside the Gravity Chamber, and then he quickly flew out the window, to a place where their weren't any Kakarots.

Cancer

6/22-7/22

Your high energy will help you through this rather hectic day. Do things with your children and avoid situations that make you feel as if you've neglected the ones you love. If they want help that's great, but if they try to take credit for your work, you will have to set them straight.

Goku glanced at the horoscope and then headed out for the Cell games.

Leo

7/23-8/22

Today, declare your independence from a bad habit. All you need is willpower.

Vegeta grabbed his hand and restrained it from reaching any further, "Must…not…eat…cake!"

Virgo

8/23-9/22

There may be surprises on today's menu, but you'll enjoy it. They may even be a continuation of yesterday's festivities

"Leftovers?" Goku asked.

"Yes, Dear."

"We actually had leftovers?"

Libra

9/23-10/22

Now it's just you against them. You knew it would come down to this eventually.

Aw crap, Goku thought as he faced Frieza, Cell, Buu, Broli, Android 13-17, and Cooler.

Scorpio

10/23-11/21

You're letting your emotions get the better of you. Chill out, already!

"First my best friend Krillian, and now Piccolo! I'll get you, Frieza you heartless monster! AUURRRGGGHHH!"

Sagittarius

11/22-12/21

There's no reason to stand around in the rain. Bring an umbrella next time.

Dende looked at the newspaper. Huh? It never rains on the lookout!

Capricorn

12/22-1/19

This is no time for unilateral action. You need allies in this battle.

"Vegeta?"

"No, Kakarot."

Aquarius

1/20-2/18

This isn't a life-or-death decision. So make up your mind, already.

"Cookie or cake! Just decide, Goku!"

Pisces

2/19-3/20

The Moon is doing a lot more than lighting up the sky. It's inspiring you to either finish a project or tend to a health issue.

"Vegeta! I didn't mean to hit you! Come on! You have a tail and I don't! It's no fair to transform!"

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Came to mind as I was reading a horoscope, it fit Piccolo perfectly.

-Brad