The spaceship landed on Namek, and three Saiyans, one Namekian, and three humans emerged. Kakarot smiled. He had always liked Namek; he never got to enjoy it much though, because every time he came here he ended up in a huge battle. But this time, they were here for a much-needed vacation, this time they would not need to fight. Yeah right.
"Hey dad?" Gohan asked, "I was going to ask you this in the six months it took to arrive here, but why isn't Vegeta here?"
"You know him," Kakarot said, "He doesn't need a vacation. 'I have to get stronger then you, so you just wait until you come back!' he said."
"Oh!" Gohan exclaimed, "I guess he's not one for a vacation, huh?"
"No, father just doesn't like to do anything but train," Mairi Trunks said, "It's really not that mentally healthy, but it makes him stronger all right."
"And... Why are you with us? We defeated the androids, like, eight years ago. You really aren't needed anymore." Gohan stated.
"Well! I need vacations too!" Trunks yelled defensively, "Do you think it's easy to be this gorgeous!"
All present sweat dropped and backed away from the demi-Saiyan.
"Yea, sure!" Yhamcha said, "I know how it feels, I have the same problem. AHHH! Please don't hurt me! I'm just a pathetic weakling, who just gets in the way and wastes senzu beans! But I can take on any enemies with a power level under three! I'm at least good for that!"
The other z-warriors stopped their advance to end his pathetic life, and Tien looked at the others and shrugged, "He's got a point." The rest of them all reluctantly back off.
"Well, we're here!" Krillian stated the obvious, "Now what?"
"I want to go see Morri," Piccolo announced.
"Alright," Kakarot said, "Since I'm the strongest, I'm going to take us to the beach. Meet us there when you're done."
They all flew off to their destinations (Kakarots group only had to fly, like, three feet since the whole planet is just a bunch of small islands.) Kakarot spread out a beach towel, put on some cool shades, and lay down to get some sun. Krillian, Gohan, Trunks, and Yhamcha all went swimming, and Tien sat around, pissed that I didn't place Choatzu in the story. (Mainly because he has a long, complicated to spell, name.)
A shadow fell over the beach and Kakarot stirred in his half asleep state, "Gohan, it must be an eclipse or something. Would you mind blasting the moon away so I can get some sun?"
"That's not the moon, dad" Gohan said, staring at the sky with a look of dread on his face, "It's a space station!"
Kakarot look up into the sky to see a large mass floating above the planet.
"But it can't be!" Kakarot yelled, "We blew it up!"
"It's the Big Ghetti Star!" Krillian exclaimed.
"Oh shit!" Yhamcha said, "I can't be at a big battle! I'll get my ass seriously kicked!"
"Calm yourself," Piccolo said, landing nearby.
"It's Yhamcha," Trunks said, "You can just tell him to shut up and no one will care."
At this point, the one fan Yhamcha had in the universe showed up and slapped Trunks just enough for him to notice. Trunks vaporized her, and then turned back to Piccolo.
"Okay, now no one cares,"
"Good. Yhamcha, shut up." Piccolo said, "Alright. They won't make the same mistake of letting us inside the complex this time, so we're going to have to attack it from the outside. This means a lot of flying, so we need to give each other call signs to make it easier to keep in touch."
"Maybe I'm just weird," Krillian started, "But why don't we just use our names?"
"Because this is so much cooler," Piccolo said, "I'll be green leader, for obvious reasons. Tien, and Krillian, you'll be on my flight. Goku, choose a color."
"Uhhh... Red!"
"Why red?" Gohan asked.
"Because that's the color of my hair when I'm a super Saiyan!" He concluded.
"Uh-huh..." Piccolo said, "Well, whatever turns you on big guy. Gohan, and Trunks, you'll be on his team."
"Don't you get the feeling these flights are a little lob sided," Krillian whispered to Tien.
"Hey!" Yhamcha said indignantly, "I'm not even on a flight!"
"That's because you'll just die in the first five seconds of the fight!" Piccolo retorted.
"Oh yea..."
"Okay," Piccolo continued, "I'll be green one. Tien, Green two. Krillian, Green three. Yhamcha, neon pink four. Goku, red five. Gohan, red six, and Trunks, red seven. Does anyone have any idea how to take this thing down?"
"Oh yea!" Kakarot said, "When Vegeta and I exited the Ghetti Star before it blew up, I noticed that it was heavily shielded, but one man should be able to penetrate the outer defense. Cooler does not consider a single fighter to be much of a threat, or he'd have a tighter defense. Now, analysis of the surface has demonstrated a weakness in the battle station. The approach will not be easy. You are required to maneuver straight down a trench, skimming the surface to a certain point. The target is only two meters wide. It is a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system. A precise hit will start a chain reactor, which should destroy the system. The shaft is ray shielded, so you have to use ki blasts. Only a precise hit will destroy the system."
"You got all this just by looking at it before it blew up?" Gohan asked.
"Hu-do-what? I'm sorry, I kind of spaced out. All I remember was assigning team colors. I'm blue, right?"
"Okay… We'll, Goku's plan is the only one we have, so that's the one we'll use. Green group will go first, and if we fail, red will go next. Any questions?" Piccolo asked.
Everyone raised their hands.
"Good! Let's go!"
The fighters took off and headed towards space. They didn't need to breath or anything.
Goku, the force will be with you. Kakarot smacked the side of his head. Must have just imagined it.
"All fighters report in," Piccolo said, sounding very dramatic.
"Green three, standing by."
"Red seven, standing by."
"Green two, standing by."
"Red six, standing by."
"Red five, standing by."
"Neon pink four, standing by."
"Lock power levels in attack levels," Piccolo commanded, "We're passing through the magnetic field, hold tight. Put your barriers up, double front."
"Look at the size of that thing," Trunks said in awe.
"Cut the chatter, red seven," Piccolo disciplined, "Accelerate to attack speed."
All of the warriors' boosted there speeds to make the lasers firing up at them have a harder time hitting them.
"This is it boys," Kakarot said, excitement bleeding into his voice.
"Red leader this is green leader, we're heading for the target shaft now," Piccolo said.
"We're in position," Gohan called back, "We're going to cut across the axis and try to draw there fire."
Kakarot, Gohan, Trunks, and Yhamcha all dove in at the monstrous station, flying away from green group to keep the gunners from targeting them. Lasers flashed all around them, but so far, none of them had been hit.
"Heavy fire boss, twenty three degree's,"
"I see it, stay low!"
"This is red five, I'm going in," Kakarot dove at the station and let loose a barrage of ki blasts, each one taking out a small chunk of the Ghetti Star, but it was not nearly enough.
"What's with all the dramatics," Krillian whispered to Piccolo.
"To hell if I know,"
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"Goku, pull up! Are you alright?"
"I got a little cook but I'm okay,"
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Inside, a small robot strutted up to Meta Cooler.
"We count seven human fighters, my lord. But they are so small they are evading our turbo lasers," it said.
"We'll have to fight them man to robot. Get the robots to the launch pad," Metal Cooler walked away. Dude, that was such a cool thing to say. But of course I would say it. I'm Cooler!
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"Watch yourself, there's a lot of fire coming from the right side of that deflection tower," Krillian warned the rest.
"How the hell do you know it's a deflection tower!" Gohan yelled.
"I'm on it!" Trunks said.
"I'm going in," Gohan said, Man, that sound so cool! "Cover me Trunks."
"I'm right with you red six."
They dove in and blew the tower to hell.
"I got a problem here," Yhamcha said.
"What else is new," Trunks rolled his eyes.
"Eject!" Kakarot yelled.
"I can hold it!"
"Pull up!"
"Goku! Shut up!" Trunks yelled, "Yhamcha! Take your hands off the steering yoke and you'll be fine!"
"Oh, really? Gosh I never kne…" Yhamcha crashed into the Ghetti Star. And everyone cheered.
Goku, trust your feelings. The voice was back; Kakarot slapped the side of his head again, and then found the problem.
"You okay, Goku?" Trunks asked.
"Yea, I just forgot to take off my headphones," The Saiyan pulled off his Walkman and threw it at the Ghetti Star, "Yeah! Take that! Hahahahaha! Well, I think I just took care of it all!"
Saiyans, humans, Nameks, and Ghetti Stars, all sweat dropped.
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"Squad leaders, we've picked up a new group of signals. Enemy fighters heading your way," Bulma said, putting as much authority into her voice as possible.
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This is getting out of hand, Krillian thought.
"My scopes negative, I don't see anything!" Kakarot said.
"Pick up your visual scanning, here they come."
The robots roared down, making a hell of a racket for being in the middle of space. They were in such a perfect formation that the Guinu Force roller over in their graves.
"Watch out, you've got one on your tail!"
The robot dropped in behind the fighter and started to fire off blasts at his feet.
"I'm hit!" Yagirobe yelled.
Yagirobe fell from the sky and crashed into the Ghetti Star.
"How did he get here," Tien asked Krillian.
"To hell if I know. I just know that someone had to die there, and I'm glad Brad didn't choose me," Krillian responded.
"Good point."
"You've picked one up, Trunks, watch it!"
"I can't see it!" Trunks yelled, looking straight in front without bothering to look at the robot right behind him.
"I'll be right there!" Kakarot yelled, and dove in. Waiting until the robot was just about to finish off Trunks for effect, Kakarot blew him out of the sky.
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Meta Cooler walked down the corridors until he found two robots.
"Several fighters have broken off of the main group. Come with me!"
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"Watch you back, Goku. Watch your back!"
The robot fired a hundred little blasts at Kakarot, and one of the managed to strike home.
"I'm hit, but not bad. Sen-zu-de-two see what you can do," Kakarot pulled out a small green bean and swallowed it, "Hang on back there."
Gohan, flying in tandem, turned to stare at his father, wondering if the others had been right, and he was indeed, insane.
"I can't shake him!"
"I'm on him Goku, hold on!" Trunks yelled.
Kakarot evaded the blasts, and started hammering his fists together, "Blast it Biggs, where are you!"
"Biggs?" Gohan asked, "His name is Trunks!"
Gohan decided he had put up with enough insanity. Opening his fist, he aimed back and blasted the robot apart.
"Thanks Wedge!" Kakarot said, and flew away from his, very, very, confused son.
"Red leader, this is Green leader, we're starting our attack run," Piccolo said, and dived for the target shaft.
"Hey, Piccolo?" Tien cautiously asked, "We could've started our attack run, like, ten minutes ago. Why didn't we?"
"Hey, I just follow the script."
As soon as they dove into the shaft, turbo lasers started to redouble there efforts to shot them down, and Meta Cooler flew out to get the annoyances attacking his station.
"Stay in attack formation," he said, adjusting an imaginary control knob in front of him.
Piccolo flew down the shaft with all the speed he could muster, looking straight ahead. He reached to his side and danced his fingers around the air, making beeping noises as he did so, "The exhaust port is marked and locked in!" He said, "Switch power to front deflector screens!"
"What screens?" Tien asked.
"How many guns do you think, Gold three?"
"I'd say about twenty guns," Krillian said, "some one the surface, some on the tower." He nudged Tien, "This is so cool!"
"What is?" Tien asked.
"Well, because I have lines, I'm actually going to survive more then six seconds into the fight!"
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Morri stood around his tactical computer, looking at the screen with a bunch of other nameless Nameks surrounding him.
"Ghetti Star in range in five minutes," The computer said, "You may have noticed the only reason I'm in this story is to increase the dramatic effect and show the desperation of the situation."
"Shut up," Morri said.
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Piccolo flew down the shaft, dodging the ever present lasers, then danced his fingers to the side again, "Switching to targeting computer," he said, holding one hand over his right eye, "Computers locked, getting a signal."
As suddenly as they had begun, the guns stopped, leaving the trench in eerie silence. Tien looked up from his conversation with Krillian.
"So I think Phantom Menace sucked because… Hey, what's wrong?"
"The guns! They've stopped!"
"Stabilize your rear deflectors," Krillian said, "Watch for enemy fighters."
Tien reached to the side, then looked, then looked all around him, "Dammit! What deflectors?"
"They're coming in! Three marks at two ten!" Krillian said.
"Two ten, two ten." Tien said, looking around, "Where the hell is two ten!"
Three fighters dropped into the shaft in a free fall behind Krillian and Tien, pulling up to settle in behind the two fighters.
"I'll take them myself," Metal Cooler said, "Cover me!"
The two nameless robots nodded and gave an enthusiastic, "Yes sir!"
Metal Cooler held up both hands, and looking down at the targeting computer, waiting for a lock. He made a few beeping noises, increasing the frequency of the beeps and then let out a constant tone as he fired.
Tien suddenly blew up in a fiery display of special effects as Krillian scooted away.
Piccolo looked back at the scene, watching Gold Two blow up, and then he turned forward.
Krillian, of course, panics, "I can't maneuver!"
"Stay on target," Piccolo said, the Ghetti Star racing by him as he tried to increase his speed.
"We're to close!"
"Close to what?"
"Loosen up!" Piccolo shrugged, wondering how to loosen up, when Krillian suddenly burst into flame.
"Green one to Red five," Piccolo said, "Lost Tiree lost Dutch."
"I copy, Orange one!" Kakarot said, "How are Jabba and Boba Fett?"
"They came from behind…" Without even being hit, Piccolo suddenly spun out of control and smashed into the Ghetti Stars surface.
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"Three minutes and counting," The computer in front of Morri said, "Oh! It's getting closer! Are you in suspense yet? Are ya? Are ya!"
"Shut up," Morri sighed.
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"Biggs, Wedge, let's close it up. We're going in. We're going in full throttle," Kakarot said, looking at the other fighters beside him who didn't respond, "Hello! Wedge, Biggs! Wake up!"
"Oh, sorry." Gohan said, following his father.
"My name is Wedge?" Trunks asked, "Great. I've been reduced to an engineering term!"
"Lukarot, at that speed will you be able to pull up in time?"
"It will be just like beggars canyon back home." Kakarot said.
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In the 439-mountain district, several beggars walked up and down a narrow canyon, holding out metal cups and letting out false moans of pain.
"This is so stupid!" one beggar said, "No one else but us beggars live here! There's no one to beg from!"
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"Well stay back far enough to cover you," Trunks said, holding onto an imaginary flight yoke with white knuckles.
"My scope shows the tower, but I can't see the exhaust port! Are you sure the computer can hit it?" Gohan asked his father.
"Oh yea!" Kakarot said, booting up his laptop, "This baby can do anything! I can rip DVD's, check my mail, and even go to websites where women don't wear clothes! Now increase speed full throttle!"
"What about that tower?"
"You worry about those fighters, I'll worry about the tower!" Kakarot looked around nervously, "Oh! The tower! The tower! Where is it?" Had he not been flying, he would have been dancing from foot to foot.
The laser fire continued to explode around the man in orange (M.I.O.), and the fighter slipped on a cool pair of orange shades to accompany the acronym. One blast came in close and nicked Kakarot across the shoulder, burning the obnoxiously colored fabric away.
"Artoo! That, that stabilizer has broken loose again! See if you can't lock it down!"
Gohan, staring at his father in amazement, watched as a trash can like droid suddenly appeared on his fathers shoulder and started to repair the damage. That does it; I need to stop sleeping by the cleaning solutions again.
Metal Cooler suddenly drops in behind Gohan and beeped a fair approximation of a targeting computer and fired on his unfortunate victim.
"I'm hit!" Gohan yelled, making some explosion noises in between words, "I can't stay with you!" Hell, might as well join them in this whole thing.
"Get clear Go-Wedge! You cant' do any more good back their!" Kakarot yelled to his damaged wingman.
From under his helmet, Gohan looked stricken as he pulled away, "Sorry!"
"Let him go," Metal Cooler said, "Stay on the leader."
The three metal fighters zoomed in on Trunks, while the teenage half Saiyan turned around and looked at the enemies, "I happen to know this great bar where we could sit down and 'talk' this out, if you know what I mean."
Cooler quickly vaporized him and turned away, shuddering at the thought.
Kakarot flew on, staring straight ahead while tears flowed from his face and fell in his wake. He owed me ten bucks…
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Morri looked down at the computer just as it spoke up again, "Thirty seconds and counting." The computer gave out a little computer sigh, "Do you think if I say some bigger numbers they won't shot until I get to zero?"
Morri glared at the computer, "If you don't get killed when the planet explodes, I will come back and kill you myself."
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"I'm on the leader," Metal Cooler said.
"Hey!" Kakarot yelled, "Get off me!"
"Sorry," Metal Cooler said and crawled off the Saiyans back.
The three ships race down the trench, Cooler trying to score a hit on the fleeing Saiyan, but having no real luck. Kakarot held up his hand over his right eye and made some beeping noises. The target was close!
"Use the force, Lukarot!" Kakarot looked up and started to bang his head in an attempt to clear the voices, and then covered his eye again, "Let go Lukarot."
Kakarot looked around, wondering what the heck he was supposed to let go of. "Trust me."
"The ki is strong with this one," Metal Cooler muttered, twisting his ear for a control knob.
Kakarot removed his hand and set his face in determination.
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"His computers off. Lukarot, you've switched off your targeting computer, what's wrong?"
Morri picked up a book titled, "demolishing computers for dummies."
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"Nothing!" Kakarot yelled, "I'm all right!"
I wouldn't go as far as to say that… The author thought.
Steel Cooler fired and the little droid on Kakarots back blew up.
"I've lost R2-D28314HF749FNBF3229484T475GHVCAKSJH5025243Y5NRE!" Kakarot yelled in despair, "I only knew him for like, five seconds, but he was my only friend!"
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"The Ghetti Star has cleared the planet!" The computer said, "The Ghetti star has cleared the planet! Oh what a cruel world! I'm too young to die! I can see my life flashing before my eyes!"
"Where the hell is the volume control!" Morri yelled, looking all around the computer.
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"Rebel Base, in range," The much calmer computer in the Ghetti star said.
"You may fire when ready," said King Cold? (I'm running out of people here!)
"Commence primary ignition," a droid said, pressing a small button.
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The three fighters careen after Kakarot in precise formation and Cooler finally takes aim at Kakarot again. He lets loose a volley of shots, just as his wingman blows up. The robot looks up, "What!"
"Do I have to say it?" Vegeta asks me.
Yes, you do.
"But why? It sounds so dorky!"
It's in the damn script I downloaded! You have to!
Vegeta sighed, "Fine. Yahoo," he finished with a complete lack of enthusiasm.
"Look out!" Coolers wingman yelled, and tapped Cooler slightly, sending him flying into space and the wingman into the wall.
"You're all clear you stupid ass," Vegeta said, "now blew this thing up so I can go home."
That's not your line…
"Shut up!"
Kakarot stood over the exhaust port and held his hands together, "Kamehameha!" he yelled, firing the blast down the port.
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Some nameless robot pulled a lever while a computerized voice said behind him, "Standing by."
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Gohan, Kakarot and a bored Vegeta all flew away from the space station, and just managed to get out of the way before it blew up into a billion pieces.
"Mediocre shot, Kakarot," Vegeta said, "That was one lucky shot."
"Remember," the voice said, "The ki will be with you. Always."
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I typed in the last of the words and sat back, admirering my work. "There," I said, "It's over. I've already sent it into FF dot net, and there's nothing you can do about it," I turned to the other occupant of the room, who was tied up and gagged, "and you lived through it. Don't give me that look! You even said I could write on of these, and I did. So now it's over. If I untie you, do you promise not to smite me?"
Tied and gagged, Dende could only nod.
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I have been working on this one, on and off, for six months. I did really download the script, and tried to follow it as closely as possible. This one really wasn't meant for anyone else's enjoyment, but I've always wanted to write this. And now it is late. I must sleep.
